I know this ending isn't perfect, so please tell me what you liked and didn't like about it. Thank you for reviewing. It really helps me figure out what you guys think is funny, and know that I don't have some weird sense of humor. This is no where as good as the last chapter, but less face it, what's better than drunk England?

Disclaimer: I have yet to take control over Hetalia. One day...

Chapter 5: Hangover

Arthur rolled over in his bed to see a Frenchman reading Candide by Voltaire. What happened last night? Last thing I remember is Francis called me from some bar. Oh, God. Arthur looked down, relieved that his clothes were in fact, still on.

"Bonjour mon cher, are you okay? I'll get your breakfast started." Every word the other man said pounded into Arthur's ears. Used to the pain however, Arthur tried to ignore it.

"What happened last night?"

"Before or after you tried to get the lamp post's phone number?" Francis practically screamed, or at least in Arthur's mind he did.

"Both..."

"As far as I know, you made out with Alfred, had a spasm, or 'danced' as you would probably call it, in front of Gilbert's bar, hit on a lamp post, and attempted to have a sleepover with a trashcan... so a normal drunken night for you I guess, but that didn't make the task of bringing you back home any less arduous." With each of Francis' words, memories swam back into his head, as if an Olympic medal awaited each and everyone one of them. Arthur suddenly remembered the most important part of the night.

Francis never said I love you back.

"Well, no one asked you to help me!" Arthur's head drifted back and forth as he yelled. Maybe I should save my anger for later. I could just write down why I'm angry and proceed to yell at him later for it...

"I always bring you home after one of your nights out on the town."

"Yeah? Well not anymore. I don't need you for anything, ever." I am pretty mad, but would it be too weird to fall asleep mid-argument? Just like a quick nap, then we can fight.

"A simple thank you would suffice."

"What part of you're useless are you not getting?"

"Useless am I? Without me you'd been in an alleyway getting raped by a trash can. How do you think that would look? I can see the headlines now: 'British diplomat left unconscious on the street after making several unsuccessful passes at a surprisingly horny piece of metal'."

"I'd prefer that to being here with you!"

"What's gotten into you?" Surely not sleep, because I'm still so bloody tired!

"I don't know, isn't it everyone's dream to depend so heavily on someone whom they love, but who doesn't love them in return?"

"Arthur..."

"No, let me finish frog!" Arthur jumped on his bed angrily and quickly words onto the nearest sheet of paper. Three to four hours later when he woke up Francis was staring at him. Arthur just looked back, cluelessly. He noticed a piece of paper near the bed with the words the frog never said I love you back. Arthur took Candide from his nightstand and threw it at the Frenchman as he remembered his rage. "I poured my heart out to you and you just ignored me! You know what? I'm done. I tried. Go do whatever you want, I don't care anymore, Francis." Arthur ran into the bathroom, locking the door before letting Francis say another word. Arthur listened for a moment to know if Francis had left, but his silence was interrupted when he felt a vibration against his leg.

Francis: I wasn't about to say I love you to someone who popped out of my bushes and chucked a phone through my window.

Arthur: That was your fault. You should have said it sooner, then that might not have happened.

Francis: So I was simply to believe that someone I've been chasing for years finally reciprocated my feelings because I got one text?

Arthur: Yes.

Francis: If Alfred sent you a text saying I don't want to be a hero would you believe him?

Arthur: I guess not...

Francis: Or if Ivan sent you a text saying Russia want to become one with England, would that seem possible?

Arthur: No, but...

Francis: Or if Ludwig texted you, asking if you wanted to go pull pranks on Feliciano, that wouldn't seem a tad bit out of the blue?

Arthur: I suppose...

Francis: If Gilbert sent a message saying he wasn't awesome?

Antonio texts that he hates Lovino?

Kiku texts that he believes the point Alfred made wasn't valid?

Roderich condemning music?

Vash suggesting a limit on gun use?

Heracles that cats are disgusting?

Natalia claiming to hate Ivan?

Or even I, texting you that love is waste of time?

Wouldn't that shock as the slightest bit out of character?

Arthur: Perhaps.

Francis: Then you should understand me being skeptical.

Arthur: Just because I understand it doesn't mean I approve.

Francis: I don't understand why you are so concerned with it anyway.

Arthur: I'm concerned because the man I love won't return my feelings!

Francis: Mais, mon cher, I've been declaring my love to you ever since I first felt it. Did you think that I would always just wait around until you decided you wanted to say it back?

Arthur: Umm

Francis: That my entire life from that point on would simply be waiting for you to say three simple words?

[This can't be happening... I waited too long. What if he found someone else? Arthur thought to himself as he read the text.]

Arthur: I guess I hoped that...

Francis: That what? I'd be your coat by the door ready for you to pick up whenever you wanted?

Arthur: Maybe it was a bit unfair of me, but I wasn't really thinking...

Francis: Do you ever really think? The same night that you finally said you loved me; I catch you making out with some obese American!

[He wasn't that fat, chubby maybe]

Arthur: I was drunk and upset.

Francis: You're always upset about something, and being drunk certainly isn't something new for you either.

Arthur: I'm sorry. Please, I really do love you.

Francis: I know that now. I appreciate it, thank you.

Arthur: So?

Francis: So? Are you going to get out of the bathroom? I need to brush my teeth.

Arthur: Are you serious?

Francis: Well, I didn't get around to doing it sooner, so…

Arthur: Damn you! How can you do this to me?

Francis: Do what?

Completely ignore your feelings but still maintain a passive-aggressive relationship?

Arthur: Oh.

Francis: You can see how that might hurt someone who has actual feelings, non?

Arthur: Can't you find it anywhere in your heart to try and love me again?

[Arthur sunk to the bathroom floor on the verge of tears. No, please. Please don't let me be too late.]

Francis: I never stopped.

Sometimes it's just more fun to watch you squirm.

[Arthur's face lost all indication of sadness and morphed directly into rage.]

Arthur: You bloody frog bastard!

Francis: I loathe you too.

love*

blasted autocorrect...

Arthur jumped out of the bathroom, or at least tried. He'd forgotten that the door was locked and ended up pulling uselessly on the door for a moment before unlocking it. Afterwards he ran out, flinging the door open in an extreme haste, causing the sound of the door meeting the wall to ripple across the room.

"Ha! I told you! It can happen to anybody!"

"But you know what doesn't happen to anyone ever, except you apparently, falling asleep mid-fight. What was that?"

"I was tired." Arthur stated nonchalantly.

"The you give up the fight and go to sleep, not continue it when you wake up. There's not some sort of pause button you can just press."

"Give up a fight? Never!"

"Well I guess that explains why your country spent about a hundred years fighting a war for a territory it was bound to lose anyway."

"You bloody git. Damn you and damn autocorrect!"