Chapter 11

Nervousness is not always a bad thing

A couple of months had passed; Clint was back on his feet. He was living in a shitty apartment in New York and every so often he would head towards Stark Tower hoping to see any of his old friends, he never realized how much he would loose by leaving the Avengers.

Phil still thought back to the day he turned his back on his archer, he kept the clothes he had borrowed as a constant reminder. When the team got back to New York Phil fell deep into depression, he focused on work and nothing else until about 3 months passed and he got a visitor.

Kate walked in his office, making the memories flash back,

"Phil...It's been a while" she said "Just thought you might want to know about this" she threw Clint's discharge papers on the desk "and so you know he hasn't spoken or stopped crying since you left him"

"He took the easy way out Kate, you don't think I miss him?" Phil responded, his voice shaking.

"I'm not saying you don't but he's all alone and you don't see to care" with that she threw Clint's new address on the desk and walked out.

Phil looked at the address 'Why is he living in that shit hole' he thought. He spent the entire night contemplating going to see his lover, when it came down to it all he could face doing was drive past.

A couple more months passed and Clint was trying to make a fresh start but no one wants to employ an Ex-Avenger and his savings were running low. 'I could go back' he thought 'how would I face them'. There was a knock on his door he shuffled over to see who it was, but when he opened the door no one was there, he looked down and saw a note.

The note simply said "Stark Tower, 3pm" Clint looked at the clock '2:30pm….SHIT' throwing on yesterdays clothes he headed out the door.

Kate saw the archer shyly walk up, knowing he wouldn't talk she took the lead. "Clint, you look like shit, but at least your on your feet" Clint let a slight smile show on his face. "I know you come here every day, why not go up there and see them?" Clint started fidgeting and turned to walk away.

"Clint?! Clint is that you?!" Tasha ran over and embraced him "We have missed you! When did you get back?" Clint just smiled but still refused to talk. Kate saw this as the right time to step in.

"Hello Natasha, I'm Clint's nurse, before you start to wonder he isn't going to reply, he hasn't spoken since the incident" She watched the agents face drop.

"Will he come upstairs, we all want to see him" she asked

"That's up to him" Kate said she leant in and whispered to Tasha "Phil broke his heart, I just don't think he's ready to see him"

Natasha nodded putting her arm around Clint and kissing his cheek "Come on Stark Tower ain't that bad! You look like you need a good shower anyway". Clint sighed knowing she wouldn't let him just walk away and smiled at Kate.

'That woman was my rock for 4 months, why is she pushing this so much' he thought.

"Have fun Clint" Kate smiled as she walked away her job here was done.

Clint and Tasha got into the elevator at Stark Tower, Tasha was catching Clint up on everything, he just kept his eyes on the floor numbers getting more and more nervous the closer they got to the top floor. "He hasn't been the same with out you Clint" she touched his shoulder bringing him back into the conversation, "don't look so nervous" all Clint could do was smile as the doors slid open.

"Good Afternoon Agent Rominoff and Mr. Barton" JARVIS announced.

Phil was in his office when he heard JARVIS 'he's here!' he thought, quickly checking himself in the mirror. "You look like shit Phil" he said to himself, as he headed into the hall.

"You know where the shower is Clint, try and make your self look a little less shit" Tasha chuckled.

Phil waited to hear his response, just to hear his voice, but he just heard Clint walk into the hallway where he was standing. Clint's eyes flicked up to meet Phil.

"Clint" Phil couldn't help but say his name as he began to walk towards him.

Clint couldn't deal with seeing the man who left him alone, he dropped the towel Tasha had given him and ran for the elevator jamming the button in hoping it would make it hurry up.

"Clint?" Tasha ran up "What's wrong?" She saw Phil and realized Kate was right , Clint had tears running down his face. "Clint you can't keep running from him, Please" she pleaded as the elevator doors opened with Stark inside.

"The archer is back" he boomed pushing Clint back into the room "We must celebrate! See Phil I told you the Love Bird would return" Stark slapped Clint on the back and he let out a howl of pain, "Still healing then?"

Clint felt like he was in his own personal hell that he couldn't escape, he kept seeing Phil out of the corner of his eye. A part of him felt good that he looked as exhausted as Clint felt.

"So, 6 months and now letters Clint" Stark tutted " now that's just not very nice" he pushed a pile of papers in front of Clint, he looked down seeing the forms he needed to fill out to become an Avenger again.

" We need our Hawk, Clint" Stark pushed "and now your up and about why not come back?"

There was way to much pressure Clint needed to think, Could he really come back to all this, to Phil?

"Agent…Mr Barton" Bruce stood across the room, he wasn't sure how Clint would react so he made sure to keep his distance " I can only apologize for everything and I hope it wasn't my doing that made you leave"

Clint was frozen to his chair, he knew this man was a friend and yet his memory wouldn't quit bringing him back to it all, he grabbed a paper and a pen and wrote " I need to lie down" and handed it to Natasha.

"Okay, your rooms still there" she responded and he practically ran to the room.

"So he's not talking" Stark broke the silence.

"I guess that's how he's dealing, it's obviously been a hard 6 months" Tasha said

Clint looked around his room, exactly how he left it, some of Phil's things were sill on the right side of the bed. He let out a sigh as he started to undress.

Phil wanted, No needed to talk to Clint so he went into his room, In front of him Clint was topless with his back to Phil the scars were everywhere he didn't look human anymore.

"Clint, I'm so sorry"

He watched the archers back muscles clench

"I should of never left you, but I thought that you were trying to get rid of me by leaving the program". Phil knew he wouldn't get a response so he carried on with his apology "I can't even begin to think what you went through and as your partner I should have been there for you" Phil watched Clint turn around but he couldn't help but stare at the scar going from his throat to his hip. "I regret that day so much, I've been a mess with out you Clint" he watched a tear fall down Clint's face and he brushed it away with his thumb, the feeling of his hawks skin made his heart race, he looked at the bed "I've slept here every night, hoping that you would come back" Phil couldn't hold back anymore, he kissed Clint, this kiss was different than all the others from before, it was full of longing and passion.

Clint didn't want to pull away he couldn't help but get drawn in, he began unbuttoning Phil's shirt, shoving his hands in the gap, feeling his heartbeat as he pulled off the shirt.

Phil's heart was going crazy he had got his man back! He wanted to do so many bad things to him, he fumbled as he started undoing Clint's belt and pushed him back on the bed, he look a moment to study his beautiful man laying in front of him and then he removed his clothes and joined him on the bed.

Phil covered his entire body with kissed which drove Clint insane, he had missed this, he felt all the blood rush to his now throbbing cock, and with that Phil took it in his mouth, teasing his tip with his tounge until Clint could take no more and flipped Phil beneath him, he kissed him roughly and grabbed the lube from the nightstand, he gently inserted two fingers into Phil's entrance, he let out a slight whine and a moan. Clint couldn't wait any longer as he pulls Phil up and applies a generous amount of lube to his throbbing hard on and enters Phil.

Thrusting himself as hard as he can into him he feels himself already getting close to climaxing as he feels Phil clench up and release himself on the bed below, this drives Clint over the edge and with one last powerful thrust he screams out "FUCK" and releases.

They both lay on the bed panting, as Phil places his head on Clint's chest and tries to ignore the slight flinch.

"I guess absence does make the heart grow stronger" Phil joked as he traced the outline of the scar on Clint's chest.

All Clint could do was pull Phil closer, he wasn't ready to talk yet.