Summary: After Dr Brainstorm learns about Socrates and his transmitter, he captures him, and does everything he can to activate it.

And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by garfieldodie and Swing123

The Transmitter Conspiracy

Oh, hey.

I'm Calvin.

You're thrilled to meet me, I'm sure.

Don't worry. I won't be here the whole time.

I'm just here to host the flashback until we make to the present time.

Where are we flashing back to, you ask?

Well, as you know, Hobbes and I have three friends.

Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

Well, we aren't exactly friends with Sherman.

And Socrates and I don't get along much.

And Socrates and Sherman aren't very fond of each other.

But anyway, we're kind of friends.

Now, you already know how we met Socrates.

And you already know how we met Andy and Sherman.

But how did they meet each other? Well, its how they met that kind of sets this story up.

Let's flashback to just a few weeks after the Teacher Creature incident.

Okay, two weeks after Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and I defeated the Teacher Creature (who was really just some nut in a suit), we decided we might as well introduce them to Socrates.

It was only fair.

Or at least Hobbes said it was.

I thought it was cruel and unusual.

But we decided to.

Socrates was sitting in his lawn in front of his mansion.

Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and I approached him.

"Hey, Socrates!" said Hobbes.

Socrates looked up.

"Hobbo!" he said.

Why does Socrates call Hobbes "Hobbo"?

Then he looked at me.

"Oh, hi, Calvin," he said.

"Crateso," I replied.

Socrates then noticed Andy and Sherman.

"Who are these two?" he asked.

"These are our friends, Andy and Sherman," said Hobbes. He paused. "Or at least, Andy is. They live in the house with the fancy satellite dish four houses down from us and across the street."

Andy extended a hand.

I was expecting Socrates to do something cruel to him like he did to me.

Nope.

Socrates seemed to just…shake hands with Andy.

"Hello," he said. "Socrates' the name, and pranking's the game!"

"Hey," said Andy. "I'm Andy. I enjoy video games, basket ball, and putting up with pet talking hamster."

It was an interesting introduction.

I think Andy liked Socrates.

However, Sherman was particularly ticked off at being referred to as a pet.

I try not to refer to Hobbes as a pet. He's nothing like a pet.

Pets aren't always trying to kill me.

"And I take it this is Sherman, is he not?" Socrates asked, eyeing the light brown hamster on Andy's shoulder. "Aren't you adorable."

"Don't fall for it," Hobbes whispered.

I agreed.

Sherman is far from adorable.

He means well, I'm sure, but he's just…

…annoying.

I'm sorry. I couldn't think of anything better.

"Adorable, huh?" Sherman said. "I'll have you know that I was never thought of as adorable at the university. I was a well-respected individual by all. Everyone listened to my opinion, and I always gave my fair share."

Socrates looked a little surprised this guy could talk, and a little annoyed.

He never gave me that look.

Boy, looks like Sherman is a whole new level of annoying.

"Well, aren't you just a little lawsuit waiting to happen?" Socrates commented, apparently unfazed.

Strange.

Socrates didn't seem as annoyed as the rest of us.

You know what that means?

Prank time.

That's right, Socrates was thinking up a storm right there.

I would've warned Sherman, but I think I'd actually like to see this.

Later that day, we were lounging by the pool.

Hobbes was on an inflatable chair in the water, wearing jams and sunglasses, and sipping pink lemonade.

Andy and I were in the pool as well, playing with the beach ball.

Socrates was sitting practicing underwater handstands.

Sherman was sunbathing.

I don't know how.

He's covered in fur.

Anyway, Socrates was obviously still planning a prank for Sherman.

I was a little excited.

I wasn't the prankee this time.

Finally, Socrates got out of the pool and dried off.

"Say, Sherman, you up for a quick dip in the pool?" he asked.

"No," said Sherman. "I'm too small and might drown."

"Oh, heavens no," said Socrates. "I mean sitting on a floating chair like Hobbes over there."

"I refuse to do anything that flea-ridden fuzz ball is doing," Sherman replied.

Yeah, Hobbes and Sherman have never seen eye-to-eye.

After all, Sherman is something Hobbes would consider his prey.

Socrates got behind Sherman.

"Well, how about going in the house where you don't have to look at Hobbes?" Socrates offered.

"Fine."

Sherman got up from the bench and scurried for the bay doors.

It happened then.

No one saw it coming.

One of the stones Sherman was walking over suddenly sprung into the air when the hamster stepped on it.

SPROING!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

At first, we had mistaken his scream for a balloon with air rushing out of it.

He's got a tiny voice for something so loud.

Anywho, Sherman flew through the air, and he landed in one of the palm trees.

The tree bent back, and then flung him thought the air.

Sherman hurtled past us and crashed into a carefully placed pillow, and then he rolled into the bucket filled with mustard.

GLOOP!

When a yellow-coated hamster emerged, he saw all of us laughing at him.

Socrates had fallen over on the ground laughing.

Andy and I were laughing and pointing.

Hobbes had fallen out of his inflatable chair laughing.

Sherman growled at us.

"RED-TAILED CAT!" he shouted. "YOU JUST TRIGGERED HURRICANE SHERMAN!"

Socrates stared at him.

Then he keeled over laughing some more.

Let's face it.

Sherman didn't have much authority covered in mustard.

He stomped away and left for his house.

Socrates didn't look worried.

And we all went back to our games.

A few days later, I was heading over Andy and Sherman's to see if I could borrow a comic book from Andy.

As I walked into the house, I realized that Andy was not home right then.

"Strange," I thought. "Where is he?"

While I was thinking, I leaned against the wall.

Odd. I felt something kind of round on it.

When I looked, I saw it was a doorknob.

There was a tiny steel door underneath.

Interesting.

I turned the doorknob and opened the door. I gasped.

I had opened a secret door!

I walked down into a secret lab down below. There was a little slide that Sherman obviously used to get down there.

There was a massive library to one half, but the other half had tiny tables that held beakers and test tubes.

Whoa.

For a puny little hamster, Sherman sure was busy.

Speaking of whom, I could see Sherman working on something that was about as big as he was.

Sherman was humming his symphony, and then he looked up in surprise when he saw me, and then he got on the defensive.

"HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?" he demanded.

"I was looking for Andy, and then I found your doorknob," I explained. "Did you build this place all by yourself?"

"Yeah, so?"

I opted not to ask about how a puny furball built this stuff.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Sherman looked around.

"Your tiger friends aren't here, are they?" he whispered.

"Well, Hobbes is at home watching a documentary about jungle cats, and, well, Socrates and I aren't exactly friends, but he's not here."

Sherman grinned darkly.

"I understand why you hate Socrates, Calvin," he said. "And you and I can do something to get a little revenge."

Wow. He was reading my mind.

"I'm listening," I said, crossing my arms.

"Well, you told me about two aliens named Galaxoid and Nebular, and how you needed to keep in contact with them because they think you're the Earth Potentate."

"Correct."

"Well, I have constructed a transmitter / receiver chip that we could place in anyone's brain, and that person would act as a telephone so that you can talk to them as long as you want."

I was liking the idea.

"That's all well and good, but where does the revenge on Socrates come into play?" I asked.

"Simple: he'll be the telephone."

I stared.

"Wait… You plan to install that chip into Socrates' head? How is that good revenge?"

"Because every time it is activated, he'll do something incredibly funny. Trust me."

I wasn't so confident anymore.

Sherman and I have very different senses of humor.

But I decided it wouldn't be too bad.

All we had to do was get Socrates over here without him knowing.

Later that afternoon, Sherman sent me with a sedative to put Socrates out.

I activated the Time Pauser.

BOOM!

I ran up to the mansion and went around back.

Socrates was lounging by the pool, wearing sunglasses and jams.

He was frozen, reaching for the lemonade nearby.

I was thankful this stuff was flavorless.

I dropped the sedative pills into the drink, where they dissolved instantly.

Then I briefly unpaused time.

BOOM!

Socrates finished reaching for the drink, and then drank it all in one swig.

He lingered for a moment, and then he fell asleep.

Success.

I jammed him into the hypercube, and snuck him back to Sherman's house.

Late into the night, Sherman and I got busy.

Socrates was still sedated.

Sherman was wearing tiny gloves that were hooked up to animatronics in a pair of robotic arms.

I was impressed.

However, I was forced to turn away as the arms put in the chip.

Let's just say there was blood on the table when it was done.

Don't worry.

Socrates wasn't hurt. He was sedated.

Amazing stuff, those sedative pills.

And he healed fast when it was done.

No kidding! We didn't need bandages when we were done.

"The chip should be up and running by morning," said Sherman. "The activation code is 98462."

I just stared.

"That…was…so…cool!" I shouted.

According to Sherman, I was continuously saying that for weeks afterwards.

I had to take Socrates home myself, but it was worth it.

The next day, Socrates came over to my house with Andy and Sherman, not suspecting a thing.

"Hey, boys," he said, joining me and Hobbes on the couch. "Movie time?"

"Movie time!" said Hobbes.

"Let's flip the channel!" said Andy.

As they sat down, Sherman and I exchanged winks.

I was beginning to wonder whether or not Hobbes and Andy should know.

I was sure Andy would keep it secret, but as for Hobbes…

That was kind of iffy.

It didn't matter.

I was itching to tell them.

So I decided to disguise my motives with small talk.

"So, Socrates," I said. "Prank anyone other than me lately?"

"Nah," Socrates replied. "I'm taking the day off from pranking."

"Man, how many pranks have you performed over the years?"

Socrates stopped to think.

"Well, I'd say…98,463," he concluded.

So close.

"So before Sherman it was…?" I asked.

"98,462."

Bingo!

At that moment, something weird happened.

Socrates, and I'm not kidding, jumped into the air, landed on his tail, spun around, closed his eyes and put his hands up.

We all stared at him.

Then Sherman and I burst out laughing.

Andy was looking confused.

Hobbes was shocked!

"Tigers…can't sit on their tails like that," he said slowly.

And then, in a deep voice that almost sounded like a telephone recording, Socrates spoke.

"This is the Galaxy Transmitting System sending out a transmission from Earth. Please state the planet you are trying to reach?"

Sherman and I laughed some more.

But we stopped when Hobbes and Andy glared at us.

"Sherman?" asked Andy. "Do you have anything to do with this?"

I decided to get it out in the open.

"IT'S ALL SHERMAN'S FAULT! HE MADE ME DO IT! HE INVENTED THE CHIP AND PUT IT IN! I JUST GAVE SOCRATES THE SEDATIVE AND WATCHED! IT WAS SO COOL!"

Hobbes and Andy looked Sherman.

He had to explain his revenge plot.

Why?

Because Andy told him to.

Nice to know he's good for something.

And in the background, Socrates would repeat in his high-tech voice, "Please state the planet you are trying to reach?"

Eventually, Sherman turned Socrates off.

And because they knew we needed to stay in contact with Galaxoid and Nebular (and because they thought it was funny when the chip was activated) Hobbes and Andy agreed that Socrates would keep it.

Galaxoid and Nebular were informed of the chip and the number, and they've talked to us through Socrates since.

And now the flashback is over, and we are now going on to present time.

I'd like to thank you for your patience, and I hope that you will enjoy the rest of our special. Thank you.

Calvin and Hobbes were sitting in the front yard, watching the clouds go by.

They were pointing out different shapes in the sky.

"I see a duck!" said Calvin.

"I see a leopard!" said Hobbes.

"I see a book!"

"I see a puma!"

"I see a train!"

"I see a lion!"

"I see a suitcase!"

"I see a panther!"

Calvin looked at Hobbes.

"Hobbes, every cloud you've seen is a jungle cat of some kind. Can't you see anything else?"

Hobbes thought for a moment.

"Okay, I see a bucket of water coming down straight at us," he said.

"Very good," said Calvin. "That's… Wait, what?"

SPLOOSH!

Calvin and Hobbes were both soaked by an oncoming bucket filled with ice water.

"ACK!" they screeched.

Then they heard the maniac laughter of…

"SOCRATES!" they shouted.

Socrates came out of his hiding place, holding his sides as he laughed.

"HOO!" he chortled. "That was awesome! What a sight! What a splash! What A GREAT BIG INCOMING MESSAGE! INCOMING MESSAGE!"

During his maniacal laughter, Socrates had done his little transmitter dance.

Just in time too, because Calvin and Hobbes had just been about to pummel him.

"A transmission!" Calvin cried. "Galaxoid and Nebular must be calling!"

But much to their surprise, it wasn't Galaxoid and Nebular.

"Incoming message from Diggerino Burgers," said Socrates' high-tech voice. "The best intergalactic fast food joint in the galaxy. May I take your order?"

Calvin and Hobbes stared.

"Huh?" asked Hobbes.

"I said, may I take your order?"

The voice was that of a teenage alien.

"Uh, sorry," said Calvin. "I think you dialed the wro—"

"I'll have a Diggerino Burger with fries and a large recto-shake, please," said a female adult voice.

"That'll be five geekoids and twelve froiks. Please fly up to the first portal, please."

Calvin and Hobbes stared.

"Uhhh," said Calvin.

Hobbes pinched Socrates' nose, which was how you deactivate the transmitter.

"Resume normal functions in three…two…one…"

Socrates started to get shake his head.

"Wow," he said. "What just happened?"

"We laughed so hard you blacked out," said Hobbes.

"Yeah, and we're about to kill you for it," said Calvin.

And they did.

Socrates got out without a scratch.

But after he escaped, Calvin and Hobbes thought for a while.

"What the heck was with Diggerino Burgers?" asked Calvin. "Why did the transmitter chip pick that up?"

"I'm not sure," said Hobbes. "Maybe Sherman will know."

"I don't know," said Sherman.

"How can you not?" demanded Hobbes. "YOU INSTALLED THE DUMB THING!"

"Well, I'm not sure. Maybe Socrates found out and he's pranking us again."

"I sure as heck didn't tell him," said Calvin. "Did he see the video recording you made of it?"

"No, I made sure it was a private screening only," said Sherman.

Just then Andy arrived.

"Guys?" he said. "I was just walking past Socrates, and his chip was activated, and instead of someone we know, he said something about an ad for Zokian battle armor."

Sherman thought for a moment.

"Calvin? How long has it been since we installed the chip?" he asked.

Calvin thought back.

"Ummmm…," he said. "Maybe about six months. Why?"

"Then that explains it!" Sherman exclaimed. "Socrates' transmitter chip is worn out and needs to be upgraded."

"Will that be hard?" asked Hobbes.

"No, of course not!" Sherman replied. "I have all the necessary parts. It should be a half hour job tops."

"Great!" said Andy. "Can you fix it soon?"

Sherman then looked contemplative.

Calvin, Hobbes and Andy stared at him.

"Hmmmm," he said thoughtfully. "Maybe…but I'm not really in the mood."

Hobbes stared at him.

"WHADDYA MEAN YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD?"

"WILL YOU STOP YELLING? YOU'RE SENDING SPIT EVERYWHERE!"

Hobbes wiped his mouth and growled.

"Look, it's not like the chip can do any damage. Socrates will be fine. Trust me."

And with that, Sherman disappeared into his lab.

Calvin, Hobbes and Andy exchanged glances.

"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay," said Calvin. "Anyone wanna play Calvinball?"

Hobbes and Andy stood there for a moment.

"Okay."

"Sure."

And they left, not thinking anything strange had happened.

Meanwhile, in a lab under Yellowstone National Park, not too far Old Faithful, Dr Brainstorm was running around, looking at various papers and such.

Jack the robot was standing nearby, leaning against the desk.

"Are you about finished?" he asked.

"Almost!" said Brainstorm. "Is this all the information we have on that kid?"

"It's all I could get."

"So let's see… His name is Calvin, his best friend is Hobbes, who is a tiger, and he has a Miniature Electronic Swiss Army Knife, a structure-changing rifle, a time stopper, and a flying corrugated cube."

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, and if I recall correctly, that's all the stuff we already knew," he said sarcastically.

"Well, we also know he has another tiger companion named Caesar."

"His name was Socrates," said Jack.

"Was it? Well, it was Roman, I know that."

"Uh-huh."

As you can see, nothing's changed.

"We still need to steal his inventions," said Dr Brainstorm. "Once we have those, we could easily take over the world."

Jack simply stared.

"Let's see…," said Dr Brainstorm. "How could we steal them? Hmmmm……"

Dr Brainstorm started pacing around in front of Jack.

"EUREAKA!" he shouted. "I HAVE A PLAN!"

"Great," said Jack. "And I'm sure that I can find a way to demean it."

Brainstorm glared at him, and then resumed.

"HIS BEST FRIEND IS THAT ROBOTIC TIGER!"

"He was a real tiger, Frank," reminded Jack.

"DR BRAINSTORM! And whatever! We'll kidnap that tiger named Hobbes, and we'll hold him ransom in exchange for Calvin's inventions!"

Jack sighed.

"And that's supposed to be a flawless plan?" Jack asked.

"Well, I thought it was."

"And you rarely think these things through, so…"

"I DO TO!"

"Remember when you tried to build this thing, and you forgot to add a door?"

"Uh…"

"Or how about when you made Yellowstone erupt?"

"Oh, shut up! We'll leave straight away!"

Dr Brainstorm ran out of the lab.

Jack waited for it.

Then Brainstorm ran past again.

"I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!" he shouted.

"Thought so," Jack muttered.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Andy were all in the field playing Calvinball.

They were having a merry time.

"OKAY!" shouted Hobbes. "I HAVE THE CALVINBALL, SO THAT MEANS THAT ALL OF YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CRAWL AROUND ON THE GROUND LIKE WORMS, AND THE FIRST WHO HAS TO STAND UP WILL GET HIT WITH THE CALVINBALL!"

At that instant, Calvin, Socrates and Andy got down on all fours and crawled around.

Suddenly, Socrates jumped in the air and did his little dance that happens.

Socrates put his paws up, closed his eyes and started to shout.

"I heard that the dictator was planning to give us all free merchandise for our moderate behavior!" said a female voice.

Hobbes threw the Calvinball at Socrates, and knocked him a different direction.

Now he was picking up a different signal.

"AND THE COUNT IS DOWN!" shouted an announcer. "OOH, THAT WILL DEFIANTLY LOOK HORRIBLE IN THE MORNING!"

Calvin grabbed the Calvinball and hurled it at Socrates' nose, and that turned him off.

"Resume normal functions in three…two…one…"

Socrates fell back onto his stomach and started to crawl again like nothing had happened.

Everyone stared at him.

Calvin broke the silence.

"HA! I have the Calvinball now, and that means that the next person I hit will have to go jump into the tree over there, and find the tree of mystic mayhem in three seconds."

Calvin then threw the ball at Andy, who managed to catch it.

"I caught the Calvinball instead of being hit by it, so that means it gets bounced off to the one next to me."

"That's you, Socrates," said Hobbes.

Socrates got up.

"This'll be cake!" he shouted.

And he ran up the nearest tree, but as he started to reach for a branch, he suddenly did the dance again.

And in a tree, that looks really weird.

"Well, I wrote a little ditty, and it goes a little somethin' like this! Ba, ba, ba-da! Do, do, du-do! Laa, laa, laa, laa, loo, loo, loo, loo!" he said in another voice.

Calvin, Hobbes and Andy watched him.

Then a branch hit Socrates' nose.

Socrates then said the "resume normal functions" bit, and then he got the branch and climbed down.

He sneezed.

"Gee, My nose sure has been sure been sore, lately." He said.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"Okay!" he shouted. "Once I plant this stick into the ground, Andy has to get the Calvinball to hit it by throwing it over here!"

"You're on!" shouted Andy, and he ran forward.

Calvin and Hobbes watched from nearby.

"Sherman better fix Socrates soon, or else we might never get anything done around here," said Hobbes.

"It's either that, or we ditch him, and I'm all in favor of the ditching one."

Hobbes glared at him.

Just then, there was a rumbling from above.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Andy looked up that a storm was coming.

"Uh-oh!" said Calvin. "GAME POSTPONED DUE TO WEATHER! SHALL RESUME TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL!"

"Right!" said Andy. "See you guys tomorrow!"

And Andy ran off.

Socrates stuck with Calvin and Hobbes.

"Can I stay with you guys tonight? The storm's gonna start soon, and the mansion's clear across town."

Calvin looked at Socrates thoughtfully.

"Do you promise not to prank us tonight?"

"Scout's honor."

"You weren't a scout," said Hobbes.

"Let's pretend."

They sighed.

"Fine, come on," said Calvin. "But one prank, and out ya go."

And the trio entered the yellow house.

But what was above wasn't a storm.

It was rather a weather-maker that Dr Brainstorm had created.

It had created the allusion a storm was coming.

Brainstorm and Jack were above the Calvinball field in a helicopter, watching.

"Excellent!" he said. "Tonight, I'll sneak down there and take Hobbes. Then I'll leave the ransom note."

"Whatever, Frank," said Jack.

"DR BRAINSTORM!"

That night, Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates were sound asleep in bed.

Hobbes was asleep under the covers, and Socrates was at the foot of the bed.

Calvin was next to Hobbes, sound asleep.

As the three slept, a shadowy figure appeared at the window.

The window slowly opened up.

A head peeked through the open window.

"All clear," whispered Dr Brainstorm. "Send in the claw, Jack!"

"Uh-huh."

The claw extended from the helicopter and into the window.

On the tip was a video camera.

Now here's where the trouble started.

Since Hobbes was under the covers, he wasn't seen.

And Socrates was seen.

And the camera filmed in a minty color, so everything was in shades of green, and the red stripes were invisible.

Jack couldn't tell, and he grabbed Socrates by mistake. Socrates woke with a start.

"WHA—!"

He was cut off when Brainstorm stuck duct tape over Socrates' mouth.

Then he wrote on a piece of paper, and left it for Calvin to find.

Then he hopped onto the claw with the squirming Socrates, and they flew off.

Whoops.

The sound of the window closing woke Calvin up.

"Huh…?" he asked.

Calvin looked around.

He noticed the piece of paper.

He turned on the light and read it.

"Hmmm," he said. "Dear Calvin, I, Dr Brainstorm, have kidnaped your friend, Hobbes, and in exchange for his safe return, you must surrender all of your inventions. BWA, HA, HA, HA, HA! Sincerely, Dr Brainstorm. PS, Jack says 'Hi'."

Calvin raised an eyebrow in confusion.

He checked under the covers and saw that Hobbes was still there.

Then he looked at the note.

Then he looked at the foot of the bed, and saw that Socrates was gone.

"Strange," he said.

Calvin looked all around the room.

No sign of Socrates.

Normally, Calvin would be relieved to be rid of him, but with his malfunctioning transmitter, if Socrates was out and about, there was no way to turn him off.

"Hobbes, wake up!" Calvin said.

Hobbes stirred.

"Huh? Wha?"

"Did Dr Frank Brainstorm come through here?" he asked.

"I don't believe so, why?"

"Because he left this note saying he kidnaped you, but here you are, safe and sound."

"Yes, that's true."

"And I also noticed that Socrates is nowhere to be found, and with his transmitter chip malfunctioning, it could be dangerous for him to be out there."

"Good point."

"And since Brainstorm is an idiot, is it possible that he mistaken Socrates for you and took him instead, and that he might make a transmission in front of Brainstorm?"

"Sounds likely."

"Do you know what to do?"

"No."

"We go to Andy and Sherman and start screaming at them to get us to help us find Socrates and defeat Dr Brainstorm."

"Excellent idea. Let's go."

Calvin dove into the dresser and changed into his normal attire, and then he dove into the closet and got the box and each of his inventions.

Hobbes hopped in, and they flew out the window.

And once they were sure Mom and Dad wouldn't hear them, they started screaming.

"ANDY! SHERMAN! HELP!"

Meanwhile, up in the helicopter, about a quarter of a mile from Yellowstone, Dr Brainstorm was flying Socrates to his possible doom.

"So, Hobbes?" he asked. "How's it feel to be kidnaped by me?"

Socrates was getting frantic.

Jack gently removed the duct tape from his mouth.

"Thank you," said Socrates.

"No prob," replied Jack.

Socrates then turned to Dr Brainstorm.

"Look, pal. You got the wrong tiger. I'm Socrates. Hobbes is still at Calvin's."

"I'M NOT FALLING FOR YOUR GAMES, ROBOTIC CAT!" Brainstorm hollered.

"Robotic cat?" asked Socrates. "Look, I'm not Hobbes, and I'm not a robot. I have red stripes on my tail, see? Hobbes has black stripes."

He held up his tail.

Dr Brainstorm stared.

Then he glared at Jack.

"My bad," said Jack, leaning back in his seat.

"I'll say," said Socrates. "Look, just take me home."

"No way!" said Brainstorm. "Maybe I can get Calvin to fork over his inventions if you're held for ransom."

"Now look!" said Socrates. "I'll have you know thAT I'M PLANNING TO—!"

Suddenly, Socrates did that little transmitter dance.

And in a helicopter, that's pretty dangerous.

"Hey, knock it off!" shouted Brainstorm.

"Incoming transmission from Planet Zok! The caller's name is Lenny the alien."

Just then, Lenny the alien's voice came on.

"Hi, Pizza Place? I'd like to order an extra, extra, extra large pizza with everything on it! How much will that run me?"

Then the Pizza Place's employee came on.

"About seven sandlumbs," he said.

"Perfect!"

Dr Brainstorm and Jack stared.

"Is he going Hulk on us?" asked Brainstorm.

"No, Hobbes told me that Socrates has a transmitter/receiver chip in his brain, and that it can reach any planet in any galaxy."

Then Brainstorm got an idea.

"THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA! HANG ON, JACK!"

In the process of going down, the rearview mirror fell off and hit Socrates' nose, and it turned him off.

"What happened?" he asked.

Uh-oh.

To Be Continued…