a/m--Please read before continuing to the story!!!!

Okay now, were getting into the stuff that makes this story into an M rated fic. Theres a lemon down below, along with relationship abuse. I know nobody likes to think of our wolf pack like this, but lets face it, their not perfect. And they get jealous just like anyone else. All I can say is, if you dont want to read this side of everything, skip it.

Now that thats all out of the way, Id like to thank mediate89 for betaing this for me, awesome job. and thank all the ppl who reviewed, i love getting them. hope you like it.

Chapter 4

I looked over at Sarah; she was sitting in the usual spot beside me in our first class. We'd managed to see each other a few more times over the past week by lying through our teeth to everyone we knew. All the secrecy made seeing her even better than I could have imagined. I honestly liked spending time with her. She was easy to talk to about anything and she made me laugh a lot, which I rarely did any other time. She drove me crazy though, with the way she kissed, and the way she smelled.

Sarah was bad for me. I never wanted to feel like this about anyone, especially not someone I hadn't even imprint on. I wasn't used to feeling drawn to a girl like I was to Sarah. The sun rose and set by her. I'd taken to running to the edge of the reservation now, every time I phased just to glimpse at her if she was at home. The pack hadn't got to see my thoughts on her yet. I was doing a damn good job of hiding things from them. I just thought of stupid, random, useless junk instead of Sarah. I didn't want to share her with them.

She'd told me when we first started sitting together that she'd had a crush on me but that she didn't think I'd give her the time of day. Sarah had liked me for a while; I just didn't notice it until now. I was pushing the limit on seeing how much she liked me. Sarah let me push it, but not as far as I would have liked. I knew that today, if word hadn't got around from the bonfire, we'd be the talk of the school when everyone saw us together.

Sarah met my eyes and gave me a happy grin. "Morning," she said silkily, digging around in her purse.

I grinned back at her; I hadn't even bothered to take out any of my stuff for class. "Mornin', beautiful," I said, saying it mostly just to see the pink rise on her pale face.

"Did you miss me?" She teased, knowing I had seen her at one o'clock last night, or this morning rather. She'd crawled out of the window and met me in the tree line and I'd phased from my wolf so that Sam wouldn't be able to find me. We'd sat in the cold night air for two hours, talking and laughing, getting to know each other.

"Not really." I told her, trying to look serious.

Sarah poked me in the ribs, making my stomach flutter at her touch. "You're a terrible liar, have I told you that?"

I focused on her mouth when she spoke. I liked watching her perfectly shaped lips forming the words. She had on some pinkish looking lipgloss that made them look even fuller than normal. I was using all of my self control to keep from leaning over and kissing her in the middle of class.

"Paul?" She asked, nudging me again. "You're looking at me all funny. Is something wrong?"

I snapped out of it. "No. Just looking at you," I said winking at her.

Sarah rolled her eyes at me as she passed me a highlighter. "You're not even doing any work," she chastised me, pointing at my blank paper. I shrugged as I looked down at it. I didn't care much.

"No big deal," I told her pulling hers out from under her hands. "I'll copy yours."

She shook her head and gave me a pencil. "I never noticed before how you don't really do anything but sleep at school."

I couldn't help but look around us, wondering if anyone noticed this new friendship. Kim was staring at us, frowning. She was a dork anyway. She was probably just wondering why I wanted Sarah all of a sudden. She was hardly an idiot. Holly was looking pretty mad. I'd ignored her since the last time I'd slept with her.

I didn't need her now, I'd found a new mark. I had a feeling Sarah would be three times better than Holly had been.

The bell rang and everyone jumped up getting their stuff together. I grabbed my bag and then reached over and swiped Sarah's stuff. "Where's your next class at?" I asked her as we walked out the door. I saw Jared and Jake looking in my direction, grinning and laughing. I knew they thought Sarah was gonna burn me. Turn me down or something. They had no clue it was way beyond that now.

"I've got gym next, it's way out of your way." She reached to take her stuff back from me and I reluctantly passed it back to her.

"Okay. I guess I'll uh, meet you in the caf or something."

She raised an eyebrow at me as she slung her bright yellow backpack over her shoulder. "You never eat in the caf."

"I do now. Unless you want to go off campus with me," I told her, giving her a sly smile.

Sarah smirked at me, tugging on her blue Polo shirt. "I don't think so. Besides, my friends are gonna be waiting on me."

"Sure, sure," I replied, giving her a wave as we walked away from each other, both of us still staring at the other one.

I made it through the next class without thinking of her once, occupying myself by teasing Tia and Katie. Those two were more than happy for my attention even though they'd both seen me with Sarah over the weekend. If they didn't care, I sure as hell didn't. I got up and followed the crowd out, looking for either Sarah or Jared. I'd take either one.

"Hey man, lookin' for the newest flavor of the week?" I heard Jared say behind me.

I turned around and grinned at him, I hadn't got to hang out much with any of the pack but Jake this weekend. We were taking turns on patrols now. We didn't have as much action at the moment with the Cullens being the only vampires nearby. I preferred to run alone at night than to have someone else with me unless it was Sam, and he usually didn't stay out too late or Emily got mad.

"Yeah, I've got to play nice for a little bit, though. She's taking longer than the others," I said keeping the grin on my face. Jared looked like he was a little too happy about something. I glared at him, wondering what he knew. "Why do you have that shit-eating grin on your face?"

Jared shrugged; we were heading down the hall to the caf now. "No reason. I just had a class with Sarah is all. I might have heard her talking to her friends."

That was good news. She was discussing me with other people. Spreading the word on how great of a kisser I was, how I was the perfect gentlemen, well… kind of. The farthest I'd gotten so far in three days was up her shirt, so… semi-gentlemen.

"What did she say?"

Jared gave me a sly look as he got in line; he had a Cheshire Cat-sized grin on his face, knowing it was killing me to wait. "Not much. She was whispering so I had to listen in pretty hard. She was tellin' her friends about going to the bonfire with you and how you weren't as mean as they all said you were. Sarah thinks you're a great kisser, and she told them something else too. Something you're gonna want to know."

I leaned forward anxiously, the suspense was killing me. "What?"

"They asked her how far you got, which by the way, I'm highly disappointed in you, man. You didn't even get to look, just touch." He paused again, grabbing some chips from the bin.

"Come on man, just say it, you're starting to piss me off," I snapped at him. I could feel the pressure in my back, directly on my spine, which was a bad sign.

Jared looked at me, then around us at the crowded building, trying to tell me with his eyes to calm down. "Chill. She just said that she's starting to think that you guys are gonna go a lot further soon. She told them she's still a virgin, too."

I took in the new information, smirking a bit. A virgin. This was going to be even better than I thought it would be. This would be my first time of actually taking it from someone, though. I should have known, Sarah was kind of prissy. "I guess I'll sit with you guys today, I don't see her."

I followed him over to what I knew now as the regular pack table and sat down by Jake. "You comin' out tonight?" He asked me with a mouthful of food.

I shrugged, ripping open my chips and stuffing half the pack into my mouth. "Maybe. I got stuff to do until like... seven-thirty, though." I saw the flash of blonde to my right and Sarah dropped down beside me, putting one hand on my shoulder.

"Hey," she said smiling brightly at me, tossing her purse onto the table.

I looked at the pack, daring them to say or do anything. "Hey, Sarah."

Sarah slid her hand down my shoulder and touched my hand lightly. I could feel myself starting to tense up at her touch. Please don't let this happen in front of them, I thought to myself. They'd be able to tell I wasn't just after her for sex if they saw how I looked. I grabbed hers quickly and gave it a small squeeze. "I thought you'd be with your friends."

She shrugged and stole one of my cookies from the pack and bit into it. It was clear she had no intention of leaving to go sit across the room. Jared made a kissy face at me when Sarah looked down for a moment; I tossed my empty bag at him. He just smiled when it bounced off of him. The guys for the most part were sitting there quietly, not sure of what to do in front of her.

Embry plopped down across from us and gave Sarah a long grin. "Hey, you."

Sarah flashed him back a smile, showing her perfectly straight, white teeth off. "Hey, Em."

Em? So she had a nickname for Embry? What the hell? Why did he keep showing up every time she was near? I gave him a dirty look and tightened my hold on her small, fragile hand in my large, hot one. "Did you get done with that project for Myers' class? I haven't even started yet," He told her, still smiling.

I didn't know Embry too well outside of wolf form. I didn't know if he was usually this friendly with everyone he knew, or if it was just Sarah and if it was, just to piss me off.

Sarah shook her head, making her blonde hair brush against my face. Oh God, I can't handle this. "Yeah, I finished it last night, actually. I can help you if you want. I have time after school when I get off of work."

I felt Jacob's eyes on me as I gripped the table, willing myself to keep under control. I hadn't experienced this before. I'd only lost control when I'd lost hold on my anger, not when I was so... emotional. I kept my eyes downcast as Sarah talked and giggled with the guys, trying to take deep breaths only to have to them be of her body spray again.

"You okay, man?" I heard Jared whisper in my ear. I shook my head and glanced at Sarah, who hadn't noticed the way I looked yet.

She laughed at Embry and shifted, leaning closer toward me now, so that our sides were touching. I looked at her and it hit me. I stood straight up, pushing the chair back in one motion. "I have to go," I said suddenly. I grabbed my bag and Sarah reached for hers and her purse.

"Paul? Are you okay?"

I shook my head at her "No, you stay. I just... I don't feel good." I backed away from them, knowing I looked crazy to her; the pack looked at me with curious eyes as I hurried away from the cafeteria. I slung open the bathroom door violently and kicked it hard, denting it. I hit the brick wall angrily, making them chip. I finally sank down into the corner stall on the floor, my body was shaking now. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to straighten my spine as best I could. I couldn't give into this. Not right now.

I took a deep, steadying breath and let it out slowly. I let my head fall into my hands, relaxing now. I loved her. I didn't imprint. But I loved her and the feeling of it was too much for me to handle. I didn't love anyone, not this way; I'd never really thought I would. It was overpowering. I sighed heavily and stood up from the disgusting floor. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't dare admit this. To anyone.

I couldn't feel like this, not now. I couldn't leave her alone, either. We'd already been sneaking around for a little over a week now. I looked forward to it everyday when we would find some way to steal away a few moments together. I'd been doing a good job of hiding everything away from the pack, so Sam wouldn't figure out the truth in what I was doing. My parents weren't the only ones I'd been lying to. I waited long enough for Sam to fall asleep before I would phase back and then meet Sarah wherever we'd talked about before.

Now I had something else to hide. I didn't want them to know about this. I didn't even like me knowing. I sure as hell didn't want Sarah to know. I would only hurt her one day when I would eventually imprint… if I did. I walked slowly to the mirror and looked into it, seeing myself for the first time that day. My short spiky hair was still in place, my clothes matched by some miracle, considering I threw whatever I found first on that morning. My eyes, though- I looked tired. My eyes were red with needing sleep. They had an edge to the black color.

I splashed water on my face, drying it off with a paper towel. I heard the bell ringing, signaling that it was time to go home. Sarah had probably noticed I wasn't in our last class. I was surprised Jared hadn't come looking for me. I hung my head down as I walked out of the bathroom, avoiding looking at anyone. I hit the doors hard, making them give out a booming sound.

I headed toward where I'd parked my truck and noticed Sarah leaning against it. Great. I sighed; I hoped I could stay in control. She looked up, smiling at me as I got closer.

"I was wondering what happened to you," she said obviously happy to see me.

"I just didn't feel good for a second. I'm okay now," I told her returning her smile with a grin of my own. I leaned beside my truck. "You need a ride?"

She shook her head quickly. "No, I'm waiting for my dad. He decided I shouldn't walk from here to the store anymore. He said its too cold out." She pushed her hair back and looked at me sideways "So are you coming to the store tonight or should I wait and come out at ten?"

I looked into her eyes; the blue green of them was mesmerizing. "Uh… I'll come by the store around closing. My dad will already be home by then. You can always tell yours that a friend's bringing you home or something."

Sarah shifted and looked at something behind her. "I think we're in trouble."

I turned around and followed her stare. A man that I assumed was her dad was standing at the top of the hill in a suit, his white face was turning redder as each second passed. He had a look of death in his eyes when he looked at me. Sarah bent down and grabbed her bag off of the pavement.

"Wait. Maybe I could talk to him?" I suggested.

She looked terrified at the idea of it. She slung the bag over her shoulder. "No, I'll... make something up. I'll see you later, okay?"

Her dad was starting to make his way toward us now at a faster pace than I thought a human could move with. Sarah had only walked a few feet away from me when her dad barked out something to her and she hurried to get in his car.

He kept coming toward me, though. I straightened up and shoved my hands into my pockets just for good measure as he approached me. The veins in his neck were popping out as he spoke angrily. "I'll only tell you once- You stay away from my daughter, I won't have you influencing her with the way you live."

I bit down on my bottom lip, not trusting myself to speak as he turned and went back toward the car, thinking he'd won. That just made meeting his daughter tonight even better for me. I waved to Sarah as they drove off, and got into my own truck and headed toward Sam and Emily's.

I pulled into the dirt driveway and hopped out, not even sure if Sam was here or not. Either way, Emily would be. I pushed open the door, letting myself in. "Hey, Emily," I said, nodding toward her as I grabbed the pack of cookies off the counter and shoved three into my mouth. She shook her head at me as she finished chopping up the vegetables in front of her on the counter.

"How was school?"

I liked how she asked that every time I came straight here. It showed someone really did care. I shrugged and took a gulp of the milk she'd placed in front of me. "It was okay. I thought I lost it for a minute there."

Emily gave me a pointed look as she sat down across from me. "What happened?"

"I just... I dunno. I'm tired and I've got a lot on my mind," I told her simply. Talking to Emily wasn't the same as talking to someone else. She actually listened to me and I didn't have to hide everything from her, she wouldn't tell Sam if I asked her not to. I still couldn't say it, though.

She gave me a hard look. "Like what?"

I sighed and pushed the cookies away and got back up, I could see Emily wasn't going to leave me alone. "I've got stuff to do," I declared and headed out toward my truck. I got in and gunned the engine, taking off speeding. I slowed down when I neared the store, looking for my dad's car in the parking lot. It was gone.

Sarah was standing outside the front of the store on the sidewalk with Jake and Embry laughing. She had a constant grin on her face when Jake spoke to her. She smacked him with the notebook that was in her hand across the chest. I frowned watching the scene in front of me. I saw Embry reach out and grab her hand, holding it for a moment before she pulled it away still giggling. I sat there watching them talk and hang out before the two guys finally left, waving to her as they walked down the sidewalk.

I got out of my truck slowly. I was so mad I was shaking as I went into the store. Sarah was standing with her back to me. "Hey, how are you?" She started the usual greeting she gave to customers when I reached out and grabbed her by the arm from behind and jerked her around to face me. Her eyes grew wide when she realized how mad I mad I was.

I moved my hand from her arm down to her wrist and grabbed the other one, holding them both tight as I tried to keep calm. "What the hell was that?" I demanded.

She tried to tug her arms away from me. "What are you talking about?"

I tightened my hold and gave her a little shake. "I don't like you flirting with my friends, Sarah. It makes me look stupid." My fingers were pressed into her white skin hard and she blinked, letting a few tears fall down her cheeks.

"I wasn't flirting with them. I was just talking to them. Embry wanted my notes and stuff. We were just joking," she whispered. I glared down at her; my anger was starting to make me vibrate slightly. "Don't do it again. You're mine," I snapped.

I released my hold on her, shoving her back slightly. Sarah looked like a puppy that had been kicked as she moved back toward me. "Paul, don't be mad at me. Please. I wont talk to them again, I swear, just don't be mad," she begged.

I didn't look at her for a moment as I willed myself to relax again. This possessiveness was even worse than I'd realized. I really didn't want her to talk to anyone but me, or look at them for that matter. I wanted her and I wanted her all to myself. I sighed and opened my arms up to her as she quickly dove into them, pressing herself against my chest as she sniffled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd get mad," she said softly as she reached to wipe the tears off her cheeks. I moved her hand and used my index finger to brush them away. "I don't want you to be mad at me; you're worth not speaking to them or any other guy."

I kissed the top of her head, feeling better. "Just don't do it again, okay? I didn't mean to grab you like that, either." I flipped her hand over, looking where the bruises had already started to form. "I have a bad temper sometimes." I brought her hand up to my face and kissed it softly.

Sarah lifted her head from my chest and looked up at me. "Its okay. I understand. I did something I wasn't supposed to do." I glanced around the front of the store before I pressed my mouth against hers, hoping no one came in. She kissed me back, letting me know everything was okay before pulling back away from me. "There are only twenty minutes until I close up, if you want to wait until my dad gets here."

I nodded and let go of her, leaning against the wooden shelves. "Was he mad? I didn't even think to ask if you got in trouble for being seen with me." I watched her as she bent down to grab the marker and clip board she was working with off the floor, staring at her bottom. She straightened back up and blushed a little when she realized what I'd been doing.

"Yeah, he was really mad. He really doesn't like you at all. I tried telling him you weren't anything like that, though and he just laughed at me and said he already knew all about you." She headed back up to the register and put the clipboard under the counter and started gathering her books and things and shoving them back into the yellow backpack. "He told me that if he finds out I was with you again, I'd be grounded and I'd be sent to school in Forks."

I felt a new fire light inside of me. Sarah definitely wasn't going to school in Forks. The Cullens went there. The last thing I wanted was for her to be so close to them. "That just means we can't get caught then. We'll have to be more careful," I told her making my voice a bit huskier as she went to lock the door to the store. I watched her as she pulled down the cover and then pocketed the keys and grabbed her bag off of the counter.

"No, we can't get caught. I don't want to have to leave school and not see you at all. You're too important now," she said shyly. She reached up and started to tug her hair into a pony tail, I winced when I saw the damage to both wrists. I'd grabbed her harder than I thought.

"How are you going to explain those?" I asked her, still staring. Sarah moved gracefully without realizing it, every move was perfect.

Sarah looked down and then shrugged. "I'll put on long sleeves for a few days." She bit down on her bottom lip and looked at the old clock on the wall. "I still have a few minutes before he'll be here."

I took her meaning and grabbed her hand and tugged her into my dad's office, kicking the door open. I didn't even bother to turn on the lights. I just sat down in the familiar chair and reached up and placed my hands on her hips where she stood.

Sarah giggled quietly as she crawled on top of me so that she was straddling me and let her bag drop to the floor. Now I was trying to practice an entirely different calm. I was resisting the urge to do what I really wanted right now, with her sitting on me like this. I could already feel myself getting hard. I leaned forward and found her mouth in the pitch black, placing a hand on her cheek.

She melted into me just like I'd hoped she would. I pushed my tongue into her mouth, deepening the kiss we were both trying not to break for anything. Her mouth tasted good, her tongue kept moving with mine, driving me crazy as I slid my free hand up her shirt. I shoved up her bra, feeling her perfectly round breast.

Sarah's hands were on the back of my head as she tried to press herself against me even more than she already was. I kissed the side of her mouth before I continued down her neck, stopping to suck on the curve off it. She moaned lowly, tilting her head to the side, her hips moved from the position they'd been in and I realized at once what she was doing.

I let go of her cheek, grabbing one of her hands and putting it on the waist of my jeans, waiting to see if she would get the hint. I shoved her bra up all the way with her shirt and brought my mouth down to her chest. I smirked slightly when she gasped as I started kissing each peak. I felt her back tense up as she unbuttoned my jeans and undid the zipper. She stopped for a minute and I reached down and finally shoved her hand down my boxer briefs not being able to take it anymore. I needed her. I needed her to touch me, I needed to touch her, and most importantly, I wanted her.

Sarah ran her fingers down my length making me stiffen under her light touch. "I don't know... I've never..." She whispered. So that's what was holding her back. Sarah was a complete virgin, then. I pulled my mouth from her chest and whispered into her ear. "Its okay. Don't worry about it."

She seemed relieved as she moved her hand back to my chest. I fixed my pants quickly. We still had time for other stuff, I decided. I pulled her in toward me, hugging her tight. "Tell me when to stop," I said softly into her ear, this time blowing into it before I gave it a slight bite on the lobe.

Thank god for skirts, I thought as I lifted her up slightly and pulled the edge of it out from under her and pushed it up. All that was covering her now was a pair on thin cotton panties that I couldn't even see in the dark right now. I could tell she was getting more and more nervous by the second as I started kissing her neck again, making her gasp when I bit down on the right spot.

"It feels amazing when you do that," she murmured. She had her arms around my neck, leaning over me.

I moved back to her mouth, tracing the outline of her lips with the tip of my tongue as I slid my hand from her thigh into the side of her panties. She wiggled slightly, like she wasn't sure if it was okay or not. When she got still again I dared it and pushed one finger into her. "Mmm," she moaned, holding me tighter. I heard her breathing getting heavier as I slid in another one, pumping them in and out of her.

Sarah pressed her face into my neck. "God," she whimpered.

"Do you want me to stop?" I teased as my thumb pressed against her nub.

"N-n-no," she stuttered, squirming.

I put a hand back on her hip, holding her in place when I knew she wouldn't last much longer. I felt her start to tighten around my hand and heard her squeak, trying not to make any sounds. "Its okay," I whispered into her hair.

I heard a knock on the store's glass doors then. I chose to ignore it and held her when she started to shudder and relax against me. Sarah didn't move as she breathed into my chest heavily. "That was... not what I was expecting," she said finally.

The loud knock sounded again. "I think your dad's outside."

Sarah leaned back and started to get off of me slowly. "My knees are weak," she commented as she started fixing her clothes.

I smirked, knowing she couldn't see me. "They should be." I stood up too, straightening my own shirt. "I'll wait til you leave to come out. Did you want to meet later? Or is this too much for one night?"

The knock came again, Sarah ducked out of the office and yelled "Just a minute!"

I leaned in the doorway; I could see her from here in dim light. I watched her as adjusted her bra and shirt then reached down under her skirt and tugged her panties into place. Seeing her hands so close to where mine had been made me want to beg her to stay for a few minutes longer. "You're beautiful," I blurted out.

Sarah laughed lightly as she scrambled to get her bag from the floor where it had fallen. "And you're so developed it should be outlawed." She paused in the doorway beside me and leaned up to kiss me. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

I nodded and gave her a kiss back. I felt a small bit of annoyance that she had to leave and didn't want to see me later, either. "Goodnight."

She waved to me as she unlocked the doors of the store and let herself out. I heard the lock snap into place again and the sound of her dad talking as they walked away. I waited around for a few minutes before I went out the back way, using the key from the desk drawer. If I'd ever been sexually frustrated, it was now. It'd been almost two weeks now since I'd had any kind of action directed toward myself and I needed it.

I stripped my shirt off and tossed it into my truck. I had to run, I couldn't put it off any longer. I took off into the woods behind the store and went through them, giving into my overwhelming emotions. The skin disappeared and became my silver fur as I ran now. I could hear Sam's thoughts. Hey Paul, glad you decided to join... I snorted to myself as I dove over a fallen tree. Yeah, I figured I could grace you with my presence, I know Jake's busy with his leech lover and Embry's with his mom, and of course Jared bitched about being out late.

Sam caught up to me running beside me now, I could tell he was searching my mind and coming up blank with what had made me phase. They said you almost lost it at school over some girl. You can't do that Paul, you have to keep calm. What if you would have hurt her?

I stopped running and growled a little at Sam, baring my teeth at him. Sam towered me easily, he was a huge jet black wolf, where I was a large, silver one. I knew fighting with him wouldn't help anything, but it sure as hell would help get rid of this rush I was having.

Sam growled back, his hackles raising now when he realized what I wanted. We circled each other for a few minutes before I dove at him. We wouldn't really hurt each other, just fight until we got tired enough to head back home. A good fight was all that I needed.