"HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!" Calvin and Hobbes both screamed, exploding into Andy and Sherman's house.

Andy went tumbling out of bed, and Sherman leaped five feet into the air.

Calvin and Hobbes ran around in circles in Andy's room, going, "HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!"

"JUST TELL US WHY YOU'RE HERE!" Sherman screamed.

"DR BRAINSTORM HAS SOCRATES! HELP! SOCRATES BEEN KIDNAPED! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!"

Andy and Sherman stared at Calvin and Hobbes.

"Who's Dr Brainstorm?" Andy asked.

Hobbes was the first to stop running around in circles, and stop in front of Andy and Sherman.

"Dr Brainstorm is a complete lunatic, who wants to take over the world, but he can't, because he's too stupid, and all his inventions don't work, so he's trying to take Calvin's by holding me ransom, but he took Socrates instead, and now Socrates in mortal danger!"

And with that, he took a deep breath in.

"Wow, that took a long time to explain." He sighed.

Minutes later, Andy, Sherman, Calvin and Hobbes were in Sherman's lab, and Sherman was typing several things into a keyboard.

A map of the United States came up on the screen.

Then, a spot on the map started blinking.

Sherman pushed a button.

The map zoomed in on the Montana / Wyoming boarder.

The red light continued blinking next to Old Faithful.

Then, a warning sign came up.

WARNING!

TRANSMITTER / RECEIVER MALFUNCTIONING!

GOING CRITICAL!

HEAD EXPLOSION WILL RESULT IF NOT REPAIRED IN

4:55:24

4:55:23

4:55:22

"AAAAAA!" Hobbes yelled. "Socrates' head is going to explode in five hours!"

"Unless, precious hamster here fixes it!" Calvin said, turning a sharp glare onto Sherman. "I suggest you start upgrading, rat!"

"Call me rat, will you!" Sherman snorted. "Maybe I'll just let his head explode!"

"Andy, will you step in, please?" Hobbes inquired.

"Sherman, make that upgrade, right now, or no watching The Science Channel for a month!" Andy threatened.

Sherman stared at him.

"A month!" He demanded. "But Carl Sagan's Cosmos, is coming on next week!"

Andy crossed his arms.

Sherman grumbled to himself.

"OK, fine, I'll make the stupid upgrade."

And with that, he leaped off of his chair, and ran over to his little desk, where he began making the new chip.

Meanwhile, Dr Brainstorm had finally made it back to Yellowstone, and he had thrown Socrates into a little cell.

"And now!" he yelled. "I will activate you, and communicate with the most dangerous alien nations, and they will help me TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

Socrates stared at him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME!" He screamed.

At that very moment, Jack came into the room, sipping on a milkshake.

He leaned against the wall, and watched Dr Brainstorm will bored eyes.

"Now, how do I activate you!" Dr Brainstorm demanded, studying the tiger.

"Activate what?"

"YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT ROBOTIC CAT'S ROBOT FRIEND!"

Socrates eyes looked Dr Brainstorm up and down, from his freaky electronic hairdo, to his brown sneakers.

"Is he always like this?" he asked Jack.

"Yes." Jack replied.

Socrates turned back to Dr Brainstorm.

"Listen, junior, I have a whole bunch of things tO DO AND...!"

Suddenly, Socrates leaped into the air, landed on his tail, and twirled around.

"HA HA!" Dr Brainstorm yelled, throwing his arms in the air. "I DID IT!"

"He did it on his own." Jack said.

"Says you."

"INCOMING MESSAGE! INCOMING MESSAGE!" Socrates chanted.

Then, an answering machine message came out.

"Oh, hi there. You've reached Dave the alien. I can't come to the foam right now, because I'm probably flying around that thing called space with Earl. So be sure to leave a message, and I'll try and learn how to use this thing."

Dr Brainstorm blinked.

"HA HA!" He screamed, throwing his arms into the air, again. "I'VE CONTACTED AN ALIEN ANSWERING MACHINE! I'M A GENIUS!"

And with that, he did some kind of weird victory dance, and accidently kicked Socrates in the nose.

"AH CHOO!" He sneezed, flying into the wall. "OUCH! What happened?"

Jack rolled his eyes and didn't answer.

"Now," Dr Brainstorm walked back to Socrates. "Now I know how to work you!"

Socrates stared at the lunatic in front of him.

"Are you on some kind of new allergy medication?" He asked.

"Jack! Options!" Dr Brainstorm yelled.

"Usually it takes an activation number." Jack said.

"OF COURSE!" Brainstorm screamed. "Alright! Let us begin searching for the correct number!"

He turned to Socrates.

"ONE!"

Nothing happened.

"TWO!"

Nothing happened.

"THREE!"

Nothing happened.

Dr Brainstorm scratched his head.

"This could take some time." He said. "FOUR!"

Nothing happened.

"FIVE!"

Nothing happened.

"SIX!"

Jack would've told Brainstorm that Socrates had to say the number, not him, but he wanted to see him wear his vocal cords out completely, before he told him.

After much wiring, and sparks flying everywhere, Sherman finally finished making the new chip.

He held it up, and studied it.

"OK, this chip has an automatic upgrading system." He said. "It will use an intergalactic..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... big complicated words. They're all the same!" Calvin spat. "Let's just go save that computer chip... I mean... Socrates." Calvin said, quickly, as Hobbes shot him a glare.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all rushed out of the lab and towards Calvin's house.

Calvin rushed to his closet, and pulled out his Time Machine, turned the Time Travel Device off, and instructed everyone to get in and shut up.

Which they did.

Calvin set the coordinates for Yellowstone National Park, and they flew out the window.

"Ninety three thousand, four hundred sixty?" Dr Brainstorm gasped.

Nothing happened.

"Ninety three thousand, four hundred sixty-one?"

Nothing happened.

"Ninety three thousand, four hundred sixty-two?"

He found the correct number.

But Socrates was the one who was suppose to say it, so nothing happened.

It was then, that Jack decided to make things more interesting.

"I do believe Socrates is the one who's supposed to say the number, Frank." He said.

"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!" Brainstorm shrieked. "Why didn't you tell me that, sooner!"

"I was still working on my milkshake." Jack said, throwing the empty bottle away.

Dr Brainstorm began banging his head against the ground.

Then, he shot back up to Socrates.

"Alright, robot!" he snarled. "Start counting!"

Socrates stared at Dr Brainstorm.

"What?"

"START COUNTING!" Brainstorm screamed.

Before Socrates could reply, he leaped into the air, landed on his tail, and began playing an alien news radio station.

"AH HA!" he yelled. "I've activated him!"

"He activated himself." Jack said.

"Whatever!"

Dr Brainstorm spun around, and his lab coat brushed against Socrates' nose.

That's all it took.

Socrates stopped playing Steer, steer, steer your UFO and turned back to Dr Brainstorm.

"NOW!" Brainstorm screamed. "START COUNTING!"

"Fine." Socrates grumbled. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven..."

Dr Brainstorm and Jack both watched Socrates counting.

Then, Jack got bored, and walked out of the room.

The Time Machine continued flying down the landscape.

Calvin was keeping his eyes on the map next to him.

They still had a long way to go, before they reached Yellowstone.

And according to Sherman's watch, they only had three hours left.

Calvin began to pick up speed.

"Nine thousand." Socrates said. "Nine thousand one, nine thousand two, nine thousand four..."

"HALT!" Brainstorm screamed. "YOU SKIPPED A NUMBER!"

"What?"

"YOU DIDN'T SAY NINE THOUSAND THREE!" Brainstorm shrieked, hysterically. "THOUGHT I'D MISS IT, HUH! SAY IT!"

"Fine!" Socrates spat. "Nine thousand three. Are you happy, now?"

"NO!" Dr Brainstorm screamed. "I'M NOT HAPPY! I'M NOT HAPPY AT ALL!"

Socrates rolled his eyes, and, at Dr Brainstorm's request, continued counting.

Finally, one hour later, The Time Machine finally reached the deserted night version of Yellowstone Park.

Calvin activated the Metal Detector, and he scanned the area.

He finally made contact, and uncovered Dr Barnstorm's HUGE underground lab.

Calvin flew the box over to the edge of Dr Brainstorm's radar.

"Brainstorm is constantly checking his radar." Calvin said. "But the catch is, that only stuff that's in the air gets picked up by the radar. We have to land the box here."

"And walk?" Andy asked.

"Yes." Calvin said.

Calvin landed the box, and he, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman exited it, and continued on foot.

Calvin climbed over a fence, and started towards the Old Faithful water geyser.

"98,459... 98,460" Socrates counted. "98,461... 98,46..."

"FORGET IT!" Dr Brainstorm screamed. "You've been counting for hours, and I still can't find it! Just stop there, and I'll try to find some other way to activate you!"

Huh boy.

Socrates rolled his eyes, and sighed.

"You're a lunatic." He said.

"I WILL FIND THE WAY!"

Finally, after much walking, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, and Sherman reached the secret entrance to Dr Brainstorm's hideout.

Calvin opened the door, made of steel that had grass glued to it to make it look natural, and he, Hobbes, Andy, and Sherman climbed inside.

Jack, who was in charge of the security cameras, watched the screens closely, while everyone climbed in.

Jack watched the monitor, sipping his soda, as Calvin pulled out his MTM, Time Pauser, Mini Duplicator, Mega-Shrinker 5000, Atomic Freezer, and Transmogrifier gun out of his Hypercube.

He grinned.

"Oh, this is going to be good." He chuckled, reaching for some popcorn, and preparing for the show.

Calvin and the gang crept forward, Calvin holding the Time Pauser and Mega-Shrinker 5000, Hobbes holding the Transmogrifier gun and Atomic Freezer, Andy holding the Mini-Duplicator and Hypercube... and Sherman didn't hold anything, because all the inventions were larger than him.

The four looked around the giant hallway in front of them.

Calvin opened up the Tracking Device, and located Socrates.

He was in the Control Room, which was at the very end of the hallway.

Calvin's eyes slammed shut.

"How much longer before Socrates' head explodes?" He asked.

Sherman checked his watch.

"One hour." He said.

"Let's move!" Hobbes yelled, running off.

Dr Brainstorm attached several wires and tubes to Socrates' head, and he was now analyzing Socrates' brain.

The computer screen was facing away from Socrates, so he didn't see it.

Brainstorm rubbed his chin, as he studied the X-ray of Socrates' skull.

He saw the computer chip.

He couldn't do anything else about it.

"OK!" Brainstorm said. "I know where it is, now!"

"Where what is?" Socrates asked. "You were looking at my head, you nut."

Brainstorm glared at Socrates.

Then, before Dr Brainstorm's very eyes, Socrates did another weird dance, and landed on his tail.

He then began transmitting the radio station, again.

Brainstorm grumbled to himself, and turned back to the...

SLAM!

...computer, and he suddenly heard a loud slam, almost like that of a door and...

"UNHAND OUR TIGER, YOU UNSPEAKABLE FIEND!"

Dr Brainstorm whirled around, and saw Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman.

Brainstorm acquired a triumphant look and said, "Ah ha! So, you have come to my secret lair, Galvin!"

"It's Calvin."

"Whatever. You've come to my secret lair! And now you will relinquish your inventions to me! DOCTOR BRAINSTORM! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Everyone in the room stared at Dr Brainstorm.

Except Socrates, of course, who continued to play radio songs.

"Is there any reason why we can't just use the inventions against you?" Andy asked.

Dr Brainstorm's grin faded.

"Uh... well, that would be taking unfair advantages." He said.

Calvin cocked his Mega-Shrinker 5000, and the end started glowing red.

"AA!" Brainstorm screamed, diving behind one of his computers, as Calvin shrunk it.

ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Dr Brainstorm grabbed his Servant Ray, and screamed, "DEVICE! DESTROY THESE INTRUDERS!"

The pistol like device didn't do anything.

Brainstorm blinked.

"DEVICE!" He yelled. "DO NOT DESTROY THESE INTRUDERS!"

ZZZZZAP!

"YAAAAAH!" Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, and Sherman screamed, leaping from the way of a blast of hot electricity.

"DO NOT DO IT, AGAIN!" Brainstorm cackled, sending blast after blast at the four heros.

Calvin took out his Transmogrifier Gun, switched it to LASER, and met Brainstorm's blast with his own.

ZAP!

Red light threw shadows all over the lab, as Calvin and Dr Brainstorm both battled each other.

Jack watched from in the control room.

He took his lips away from the bendy straw in his soda long enough to say, "three... two... one."

BOOM!

Dr Brainstorm went flying backward into the wall, as his Servant Ray went out, and Calvin's Transmogrifier Gun zapped him.

"DOUH!" He screamed, as he made contact with the wall. "STUPID SERVANT RAY! NO BATTERY CHARGING FOR YOU TONIGHT!"

He threw the pistol away, and turned his attention back to Calvin and Hobbes, and Andy and Sherman.

He held his arm out, and a glowing red laser ray extended out of his lab coat arm.

Everyone gasped, and covered their heads.

The ray went out.

"Darn it!" Brainstorm screamed.

He then spent the next fifteen seconds trying to get it to turn back on, and then pointed it at them, again.

By that time, they had moved, and Brainstorm had to put the laser back.

I know that just killed him.

"Andy and I will hold Frank, here, off." Hobbes said.

"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!" Brainstorm shrieked.

"You fix Socrates."

Calvin ran up Socrates with Sherman, and Calvin poked Socrates' nose.

The radio station stopped playing, and before Socrates realized what was going on, Sherman put a couple of his sedative pills in his mouth.

Socrates keeled over backwards, and Sherman went to work.

Calvin checked his watch.

"Sherman?" he asked.

"What?" Sherman replied, now beginning the surgery.

"Perhaps you could hurry this up a little?" Calvin asked. "WE ONLY HAVE TEN MINUTES LEFT!"

Dr Brainstorm advanced over Hobbes and Andy.

"Out of my way, fools!" Brainstorm commanded, holding a hand up. "I have alien nations to contact!"

Hobbes grinned, slightly, and gave Andy a wink.

Neither of them answered.

Brainstorm's eyes narrowed.

"OUT OF MY WAY!" He screamed.

"Make us." Andy said.

Brainstorm's eye twitched.

"Very well!" He yelled. "If you do not move, then you will have to face the awesome wrath of my inventions!"

Brainstorm grabbed a microphone and shouted, "JACK! GET IN HERE!"

There was a moment of silence, then Jack the robot entered the room, still sipping his soda.

"Jack!" Dr Brainstorm yelled. "Show these fools all your amazing blow up stuff feature!"

Jack leaned against the wall, put the soda down, and said, "You didn't instal any 'blow up stuff' features into my system."

Brainstorm blinked.

"What's that supposed to mean!" he demanded. "I fixed a laser gun in your arm!"

"That wasn't a laser gun." Jack said.

"Really?" Brainstorm grumbled. "What was it, then?"

Jack held up his arm, and a small weird looking device came out.

"It was a radio." He said, turning it onto some news station.

Brainstorm blinked several times.

"Jack! You're fired!"

He whirled back to Hobbes and Andy.

"Disregard everything Jack says." He said.

Back to Jack.

"Jack, I'm afraid this will have to go into my report."

"Oh no. Not that." Jack said, with no change in expression or tone.

Back to Hobbes and Andy.

"Alright, then, you'll not move, Jack won't kill you, then I will be forced to destroy you!"

"This should be good." Jack said.

"Shut up." Brainstorm snapped.

And with that, Brainstorm whipped out a spoon from his pocket.

"Gaze upon my latest invention!" Brainstorm declared, holding the spoon over his head.

Jack rolled his eyes, and picked his soda up.

Brainstorm began laughing.

"You're not a genius, like me!" He cackled. "Prepare to succumb to my awesome power, you... not genius person!"

Hobbes and Andy exchanged glances.

"This guy's way off his rocker." Andy said.

"You're telling me?" Hobbes scoffed.

Brainstorm pushed a button on the spoon he was holding, and the end started glowing red.

The end he was holding it by.

"YAAAAAH!" Brainstorm screamed, throwing the spoon away, and sticking his burnt hand into his mouth.

Meanwhile, Sherman had still not gotten the old chip out of Socrates' brain.

Calvin was not looking at the surgery, and he was watching his watch, as the time ticked down.

They only had one minute left.

Sherman was working like crazy.

I will not go into details about how he was performing the operation. This story is only PG.

When the chip was revealed, it was sparking, and sizzling, and ready to blow up.

Sherman grabbed the old chip, and slowly started to work it out.

30 seconds.

Sherman continued to slowly pull the chip out.

20 seconds.

Still working on it.

10 seconds.

"SHERMAN! HURRY UP!" Calvin screamed.

Sherman gritted his teeth, and ripped the rest of the chip out, and flung it aside.

BOOM!

The chip blew up in midair.

Calvin blinked.

"We sure get some dramatic writers for this show." He said.

Sherman ignored him, and proceeded to insert the new chip.

When he was done, he took his surgeon mask, and gloves.

"He's upgraded." Sherman said. "No more random transmissions."

Meanwhile, Hobbes and Andy were having no trouble keeping Dr Brainstorm away from Socrates.

Probably because most of Dr Brainstorm's time was spent screaming at Jack to help him.

To which Jack replied, "Wait for me to finish my soda."

When Socrates woke up, he rubbed his head, and asked, "Ooh, what happened?"

"You fainted." Calvin said. "Don't worry. We saved you from Dr Lunatic over there."

Socrates' eyes came into focus.

"Oh. It's you."

Calvin glared at him.

"Well, who did you expect!" he demanded.

"Well, I was kinda hoping for Superman." Socrates replied.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Come on!" Calvin called to Hobbes and Andy. "Stop torturing Frank."

"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!"

Hobbes and Andy stepped away from Dr Brainstorm, while he attempted to get his laser-shooter out of his shoe.

"GET BACK HERE!" Dr Brainstorm screamed. "I'm not finished with you, yet! YOU JUST GOT LUCKY!"

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates told Jack goodbye, and rushed out of Brainstorm's lab.

Jack waved goodbye, and continued sipping his soda.

Brainstorm finally got his ray gun out of his shoe, no I don't know how it got there, and he rushed over to the computer screen.

"I'll deal with you, later!" he said, dramatically, pointing a finger at Jack.

Jack gave Brainstorm a blank stare, then sipped more of his soda up.

Brainstorm began typing several things into his keyboards, and Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman, and Socrates appeared on the screen.

Brainstorm pushed a big red button.

Suddenly, lasers and rocket launchers extended from the walls in the hallway, and began firing wildly at the intruders.

However, several rocket launchers and laser rays didn't do anything.

Of course.

"YAAAAAAAAH!" Everyone screamed, leaping from the way.

Rockets went flying past them, and the walls started shaking.

Suddenly, a big steel barrier began close down onto the floor, keeping everyone in the lab.

Calvin slid right under it. Hobbes slammed onto his back, and slid out, too. Andy and Sherman squeezed through it.

But Socrates was a step too slow.

BANG!

Socrates came to a screeching stop in front of the steel barrier.

Dr Brainstorm made a goofy grin.

"Wow, it actually worked." He said.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Your rockets destroyed your hallway." He said.

"Shut up," Brainstorm growled.

Socrates began clawing at the barrier.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman were behind the wall, trying to lift it. But it was too heavy.

Let me rephrase that.

Calvin, Hobbes and Andy tried to lift it.

Sherman didn't. For obvious reasons.

"I can't get it." Andy gasped.

Hobbes leaned back, and tried to catch his breath.

Then, they all heard footsteps.

Fast footsteps.

Socrates looked up, and saw some deranged scientist, with a tall red hairdo, lab coat, and a lunatic grin on his face, running towards him.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, and Sherman exchanged glances.

"What are we going to do!" Hobbes asked, frantically.

Calvin's eyes blanked out.

Which was a bad sign.

Then, a wide, devious grin spread across his face.

Which was a terrible sign.

"Socrates!" Calvin called. "There's only one thing we can do to save you!"

"I'm listening." Socrates said, backing into the wall, as Dr Brainstorm advanced over him.

"Tell him how many pranks you've done! BEFORE SHERMAN!"

Socrates' brow furrowed.

"How's that going to..."

"JUST DO IT!" Calvin yelled. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOOSE!"

"Well, let's see. My dignity, my health, my life. Just the little things." Socrates said.

"JUST DO IT!" Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman all screamed.

Socrates sighed.

"98, 462." He said.

TRA-BOING!

Suddenly, Socrates leaped into the air, and did a back flip.

He kicked Dr Brainstorm in the jaw, sending him to the wall, and knocking him unconscious.

Socrates landed on his tail and said in a robotic voice, "Welcome to the Galaxy Transmitter sending a message out from Earth. Please state the planet you are trying to reach."

Calvin whipped out his MTM, and blasted a hole into the wall, and they ran over to Socrates.

Andy pushed his nose, and he collapsed back onto the ground.

"Ooooh." He groaned. "What happened?"

"He punched you out." Hobbes said. "Then we, uh, kicked him out."

"Oh." Socrates said. "Funny. I never even remember him coming over to me."

"Right." Hobbes said.

And with that, they all ran out.

Jack didn't even looked up from his book as Dr Brainstorm came back into the lab, holding an ice pack to his jaw.

"Didn't work?" he asked.

"Didn't work." Brainstorm grumbled. "Do you have any cute remarks about it?"

"Nope, I'm good." Jack said, turning the page.

Dr Brainstorm grumbled to himself, and sat down.

"Well, they may have won the battle!" He yelled. "But the war goes on! I SHALL RETURN BIGGER AND WORSER THAN EVER!"

"I think you mean worserer." Jack said.

"Shut it!"

"Yes, your majesty."

Dr Brainstorm turned back to his computer.

"Time to make new inventions!" He yelled.

"Whatever you say, Frank."

"FOR THE TEN MILLIONTH TIME! IT'S DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!"

"Yes, Dr Frank."

"DR BRAINSTORM!"

Well, I guess there isn't much more to tell.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman, and Socrates got home, Socrates' chip didn't ever malfunction, again, and Galixoid and Nebular were able to stay in contact with Calvin and Hobbes.

And Socrates never did find out that Sherman had installed a computer chip into his head.

Which is probably for the better.

Who knows what Socrates would do to Sherman if he found out?

The End

Voice work:

Pamela Segall Adlon: Calvin

Tom Hanks: Hobbes

Ryan Stiles: Socrates

Andrew Lawrence: Andy

Colin Mochrie: Sherman

Neil Crone: Dr Brainstorm

Michael Brandon: Jack

Dee Bradley Baker: Miscellaneous voice work

Coming up Next: Nighty Shut up!