Taking the Pain Away

Chapter 7

Words: 5,000+

Rated: M

tumblr; thefluffyrenegade

A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay in updating! Ironically, I had to go to the hospital and get stitches! Cut my finger. It's a long story full of sighs. Anyways! Chapter 8 is also complete, aside from some editing, and should be up soon as well. I hope you guys enjoy, and thanks again for the support. Reviews are always appreciated! It shows me that ou guys want to see more. -Smile.- 3 Blizzy

Cry jumped awake, his pupils full blown. He was drenched in a cold sweat.

He toppled from the bed and landed on the floor, sweeping the cobwebs of sleep from his mind and groaned drowsily, rubbing the bump on his head and closing his eyes. "Owww...dammit..." He stood and brushed off his pants, taking a look around the small, unfamiliar room room he awoke in. Pain stung his entire body, dull throbbing coursing through his limbs and head as blood pounded against his skull.

It had a small cot with a paper thin mattress, a simple porcelain sink, and a tiny window with bars, high up on the wall. Too high up for him to see a reflection, let alone if it was night, or if there was anything beyond the confines of this strange space. The triangilar flourecent light hanging from the ceiling filled the room with an unavoidable, dull off-white glow that caused Cry to grimace slightly, looking up at it as it flickered, threatening to turn of completely. "H-huh...where am I..?" he murmured, his voice unfamilar to himself. Something about it sounded...off.

He looked down at his clothes. He was wearing dark skinny jeans and a light blue hoodie...he recognized them as his own clothes, and his sleeves were pushed up. He could see the scratches and carvings on his arms. The were dripping blood and stung with pain, red droplets swelling each time Cry tried to wipe them away with his hand. "O-oh, shit. Uhh..." He looked around. There was nothing to stop the bleeding with.

"Ahhh...fuck, ow..." he grumbled, his eyes stinging with tears from pain that coursed through his entire body. The longer he stood there, the worse it began to throb. His head hurt, his chest ached, and his stomach burned painfully. He walked over to the door, somewhat doubled over, and placed his hand on the L-shaped handle. A push yielded no movement, and a pull the same result.

A few more tries cemented this truth in Cry's mind: the door would not open.

It didn't matter how much he twisted and pulled and pushed, it wouldn't budge. Cry felt dizzy from pain. "Hello? Is anyone there?" he cried, his head throbbing. He pounded on the metal door but no one seemed to hear him.

He was trapped, bleeding and in pain, he was going to die from the loss of blood. The pain was getting worse.

"Oh God, someone help me! Scott! Red! Anybody!" He sobbed, sliding down the door. He was going to die in here, alone...the floor of the room was a few inches deep with the blood that had pooled from his arm. Cry gasped and climbed onto the bed, scratching at the vent. It wouldn't budge. "Someone, help me!" He cried, whimpering as he tried desperately to find an escape.

Suddenly, Cry realized that no matter how much he screamed and sobbed, he wasn't making any sound! It was like his vocal cords had just, stopped working! He struggled to push out any kind of sound but nothing would come, not even an exhale or cough.

No, no, oh God, oh no! Oh fuck!

Cry scraped his nails along the tiles of the ceiling. The flood was rising to his chin. He felt tears streaming down his cheek, cold and damp, and his stomach felt hollow. He opened his mouth to cry but no sounds came out once more. The pool was to his chin. Cry tried to inhale but he couldn't breath. blood was in his mouth. It flooded his throat and nose and he felt himself choke on the liquid, his body on fire with pain.

No...

No!

"Noooooooooo!" Cry coughed and sputtered on the bed, his scream alarming all of his guests. Jund hopped to his feet and grabbed the other's hand softly, turning around and yelling, "Someone get a nurse!" before turning back to Cry, bending down and soothing the brunette with gentle, "Shhh, shhhh, it's okay..."

Cry slowly blinked his eyes open, breathing hard, his chest rising and falling rapidly. "Shhhhhh, breath, breath, you're okay, Cry..." Scott continued, his eyes soft and concerned. He had his hand in the other man's thick hair, stroking gently and comfortingly.

The brunette patient sobbed softly, his voice hoarse, tears spilling down his face. Red and Pewds were on the other side of the bed. He must have been in so much pain. There was a tube down his nose dripping liquid and a mask on his mouth, feeding him oxygen, and his arm was bandaged from surgery, they had pumped his stomach clean...a writhing, miserably heap of pain and damaged body with bright blue eyes and brunette hair, sobbing weakly on the bed.

"W-wha-where am I?" whimpered the gamer, his voice cracking from pain. His eyes were still hazy with confusion.

"You're in the hospital, Ryan. You're okay."

Cry's nurse walked through the door at that moment. "Excuse me." He said curtly, nudging Cry's friends aside. Everyone sat down but Scott, but was rubbing the brunette's hand softly. "How much pain are you in, Mr. Terry?" Asked the nurse, typing some things down in the computer beside the bed.

He was still sobbing, barely coherent. Coherent enough to know that he was suffering.

"Ten." Scott said, turning to the nurse. "He said so when he woke up." He filled in for the man who couldn't speak. He didn't need Cry to give his pain level a number, For him to be sobbing and trembling like this, meant he was in a lot of pain.

The nurse lifed up a syringe of medicine and injected it into Cry's IV. In a matter of seconds, he began to calm down, his weak sobs turning into soft whimpers. His eyes closed and he hiccuped softly into the oxygen mask. The nurse checked his pulse and took his blood pressure, typing some things down into the computer before standing upright again, throwing away the needle in a red biohazard bin near the bed. "I'll come back in an hour to check on him again. If he needs anything, the red button by the bed will call the nurse's station." He explained, closing the door behind him.

They were left alone with Cry again. Pewds climbed up to sit on the bed beside him, stroking his hair softly in place of Jund, who had his hand tangled with the other gamer's. "Are you okay, Ryan?"

Cry had calmed down. The pain medicine must have kicked in.

Cry nodded slowly and he dared peak his swollen eyes open. They were red and damp with tears. He gazed up at the people surrounding him, at Pewds and Red and Jund, and past them at Battlestar, Snake and Russ sitting in chairs against the wall. His traveled back to and stopped on Jund. His expression was a mixture of pure, buring anger and ovewhelming concern and compassion. Still somewhat incoherent, the brunette man cringed and ducked, expected to be punched in the face. It's not like he didn't deserve it, he knew that much despite how foggy his brain was. After what he had put Jund through, he wouldn't doubt that punishment was deserved.

However, Jund leaned just looked into his eyes, and leamed across the bed to tightly hugged Cry, wary of his injuries.

"I'm so glad you're okay." His voice cracked. He sounded as if he was forcing back tears, and given the circumstances that was extremely likely. Cry pulled down on the oxygen mask and let it slip under his chin, drawing in a few, painful and experimental first breaths on his own. "S-Scoots..."He managed to choke out, though obviously painful.

"Why did you do it?" Jund sobbed. It felt so good, to hear that nickname-Scoots. His fist was clenched in the white hospital sheet over Cry's shoulder, his knuckles turning white. He might now have ever heard it again, if things had gotten too bad.

Cry didn't really know what to say.

"I'm sorry..," he croaked out, tears pouring down his face, "I'm sorry...so-sorry...hic, sob...I-it wa-wasn't 'sposed t-to get so b-bad..." his vocal cords sounded strained, likely from the tubes that had been down his throat. His usually deep voice was scratchy and painful. It burned to talk, but he had to say something. Anything. "A-ah...i'm so sorry!" He cried again, the strained words, so sincere and pathetic sounding in his state, made him sound vulnerable and weak, and genuine.

"T-then why? Why, Ryan?" Pewdie spoke up this time, his own voice cracking.

"It helped...take the pain away..." He whimpered, leaning against Scott's chest as the man moved closer on the bed, craddling Cry against him with a hand in his hair. Red leaned over on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on top of Cry's. Pewdie pressed his forehead against Cry's upper arm. He tried desperately to get his arm around the blonde, unwilling to miss an opportunity to cuddle with him, but his IV intercepted and he gasped in pain as it tugged on his hand then hissed in frustration. Felix smiled slightly at the display of rage and put his arm around Cry's neck.

Despite being sick, having PewDie holding him made his chest hurt sweetly and his sobs became more frequent, louder. The two men held Cry tightly and comforted themselves in the sounds of his lively crying...because it made the fact that he was alive sink in entirely.

"A-ah...I thought I was going to lose you, Ry..." Peweie spoke up, clearing his throat through his own tears. He found himself choking up again, however. "Ah, fuck, Ryan..."He whimpered, kissing Cry's cheek and forehead, his hand on his chin, tilting his face up. He brushed the tears away with his thumbs and softly hished him, his eyes soft and concerned. "Shhhh, it's okay, Cry. We're all here now. You're okay..."

Although it was a topic left untouched as each person took their turns confronting Cry and exprssing their love and concern for him, it still hung in the air like a heavy fog, ever present in the front of their minds and hanging from the tips of their tongues.

Why did Cry try to kill himself?

Why the way he did?

Two hours has passed before anyone had realized it. Cry dozed off into a heavy sleep and some of the friends opted to leave and get some rest themselves. Snake and Battlestar decided to go back to the apartment and clean up. Pewds, Jund, Red and Russ wouldn't have beeb able to stomach the mess a second time.

"We'll take the dog out and start setting up beds, too. Text us if you want us to bring anything when we come back," Snake said in his familiar deep voice. Battlestar nodded in agreement.

As Cry slept, Red and Russ finally ate some of the now cold Chinese food. The nurses pointed them to the cafeteria, where a microwave was available and waiting, and they parted ways with Pewds, Scott and a sleeping Cry.

Scott was draped lazily over an uncomfortable plastic chair playing his DS, listening to the soft breathing of his friend. The oxygen mask made a soft hissing sound and about once ever forty-five minutes, the cuff on his arm would automatically inflate to take his blood pressure. Pewds was curled up beside Cry, hanging halfway off of the edge of the small gourny with his arm under his pillow. He seemed like he might be sleeping but since they were alone now, he wanted to be sure...

"Felix?" He asked, glancing over towards the pair.

Cry didn't move. It was likely that if he was even a little awake, he wouldn't be able to hear over the oxygen mask. Pewdie, however propped himself up on his elbow and looked over at Jund, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "What's up?" He asked, voice husky from having just woken up.

Scott closed his DS and played with the extendable stylus, pushing it against the back of his hand to close it and pulling it open again. "I wanted to ask you something." He sounded almost timid. Pewds blinked and leaned up against the wall, interested in what Jund had to say.

"It's about earlier." He started, putting the stylus back in the DS.

Pewdie realized where the conversation was headed and his breath hitched, a cough catching in his throat. "O-oh..." He tried to sound calm but the word came out as a barely coherent mumble, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. He really didn't want to talk about the kiss, and especially not with one of Cry's best friends.

"I'm not upset but...he's my best friend, Pewds. Why did you kiss him?" His voice was soft and reassuring, coaxing out the truth. "I just...humans are most sincere when faced with danger and death," he started mumbling something confusing to the Swede with a solemn expression. "Y-you thought you might never have the chance to kiss him again...if he didn't make it..." Scott looked into Felix's eyes. Pewdie started to unnderstand what Jund was saying. "...but why? Why did you kiss him...?"

Pewdie looked down quickly to Cry, to see if he was awake...as to be expected in his current state, he was still sleeping deeply, the oxygen mask hissing, blocking out their conversation from his ears. Felix suddenly looked uncomfortable, his hands rubbing together subconciously in his lap.

"I-I..."

Jund raised ans eyebrow.

"I-I...don't really know how to answer that..."

Disapointed, Jund closed his eyes and hummed in response. "I see." he replied, unimpressed with Felix's answer. He had hoped for something more...well, honest. That was the whole reason he had asked, after all. But Pewds certainly didn't look happy about where the conversation was headed. He untangled himself from Cry and sat cross legged on the edge of the bed, nearest the window, and gazed distractedly at an uninteresting point on the wall.

"I don't feel like it's...I dunno..."

Jund tilted his head. He really didn't understand why Pewds was having such a hard time with this. Maybe if he gave him a nudge in the right direction, he could badger and answer out of him. At least, that was the plan. "You love him, don't you?"

Before Pewds could answer, Jund continued.

"You love Marzia, too, though." Scott looked over at the blonde, his eyes daring Pewdie to say otherwise. Pewdie felt a knot twist in his stomach snd he looked away, his hands balled against his leg, hid knuckles white. why was Jund doing this...? Why here and /now/?

"Hnnnngggg...o-ow..." Both men turned and looked at the writhing brunette on the bed. His eyes were parted slightly gut his eyebrows were knit in his forehead from pain. Pewdie gave the man's hand a soft, encouraging squeeze. "Hey, sleeping beauty! Nice of you to join us." teased the Swede, unconciously pushing some of the brown bangs out of Cry's eyes. Pewds was thankful that Cry had woken up when he did. Things had started to get really, really awkward for Pewdie.

"Pewds, cuddle with me." he rasped, eyes closed. Upon the request, Pewdie laughed and slid back down, tucking his arm underneath his friend, pushing foreward, his nose against Cry's chin. After some time, Jund left to get food. Eating was something he hadn't done all day, and it was entering the early, morning hours...the clock hanging above the door read proclaimed 'three-seventeen am', meaning they'd been there for sixteen hours. He quickly said his goodbye's and shot Pewdie a meaningful glance. Felix swallowed hard as the American regarded the strange relationship between the youtubers with a knowing glance before the door closed behind him.

Cry came to life when Jund left. He began wiggling around, rolling closer to Pewds to curl up against him as best he could with the equipment attached to him. Felix compensated for whatever Cry couldn't do by situating himself, to make things easier on the other man, who soon stopped squirming and sighed comfortably, his fingers curling into Pewdie's hoodie.

"Is that mine?" blinking, the brunette gazed up at the blonde through thick eyelashes. He was ashamed that Felix should see him so sweaty and gross, his hair was messy and displaced from sleep and he was sure he smelled less than perfect, which he tried to avoid around the famous gamer. Pewds didn't seem to care, though, and gave away no body language or subconcious geasture to say otherwise, which Cry really appreciated.

"Y-you were bleeding, so I had to change." Felix's upbeat demeanor broke for a moment. Cry swallowed hard and looked down at his hand, his knuckles turning white against the fabric. "Oh..." he mustered up the courage to murmur that word alone, but nothing else came.

There was a silence for some time after that.

"So, why are you here..?" Cry wheezed and coughed. His throat was still raw and painful from the stomach pump. Pewdie's expression tightened and he suddenly looked away. Cry could tell that he was struggling to piece some things together, but he was wary of a potential lie. It wasn't that he didn't trust Felix, but with an expression like that, he knew exactly what it meant.

"...Your friends and I are worried about you. We were going to come suprise you but you...well," Pewds broke out in weak, self-concious laughter. "...suprised us."

Cry swallowed hard again, looking down at his hand again. He had brushed death's cheek, and Pewds laughed. Okay, that hurt. He felt burning behind his eyes.

Why was he so upset..? Felix gasped and tilted the man's chin up. "N-no, Ry, I was just," he looked desperate, swearching wildly for the words. "I didn't mean to-" He saw the blank expression on Cry's face and sighed, closing his own eyes. "...I'm sorry."

"I didn't ty to kill myself." Cry choked out the painful, meaningful, heavy words, his bottom lip quivering violently. Felix felt his chest tighten. His mouth went dry and he touched Cry's cheek, his hand shaking. The other felt feverish but he doubted they could do anything more than the doctors and nurses already had. He was still reeling from the revelation. The group of gamers had been very unsure if exactly what had happened to Cry...

"Before you say anything else...I think we should wait until the rest of your friends are here. They need to hear this." Pewdie choked out, forcing himself to sound calm. Cry looked crestfallen, which came across as strange to Pewds. This was good news! They were gooing to be so happy! A load would be taken off of their minds! "What's wrong?" Pewdie quickly asked, tilting his head, his chest still tense. Cry looked down, as best as he could whilst tangled up in the awkward eqipment, his had still balled against his friend's chest. He swallowed and looked away. "I guess I was hoping you'd be happier when I said that...but instead you cut me off." He blinked back the tears and swallowed down the tightness in his throat. Pewdie tangled his hand in Cry's hair and made a frustrated noise in his throat. "Cry, they need to hear this. You don't..." He felt himself choke up. His throat became tighter and he took a shaky breath, looking away.

"You don't understand how much they are suffering, thinking you tried to kill yourself."

Cry silently considered this for some time, his eyes filling with tears. He'd hurt everyone so much. This was the kind of friend he was..? Selfish, inconsiderate? He swallowed hard. "And Jund found me...sprawled out on the floor..." He laughed weakly. "I'm glad ot wasn't you."

The silence made the nausea building in Cry's stomach even worse.

"What makes you think Scott found you?" Pewdie asked, almost eerily.

Cry felt the bile rising in his throat. He didn't even want to know, but had had to. He began to shake, his arm stinging from the bandages he suddenly found too tight. "W-what? The way he was acting-"

He hadn't even noticed that Pewds was crying until he sobbed, until he felt the tears falling onto his cheek. He looked up and saw the man shaking violently, his eyes closed tightly. Tears spilled dkwn freely onto the pillows and Cry's own skin. "You were so cold, I thought you were going to die, and I couldn't stop the bleeding, Cry, you were so cold...sob, Cry, I didn't think i'd ever see you alive again," he gasped and sobs feely escaped his open mouth, sharp inhales signaling his struggling breaths. "I don't know what I would have done, sob, if I lost you, Ry, I love you so much..."

Cry tilted his head up and pressed his lips against Pewdie's.

An awkward, startled sound escaped the blonde at first, his eyes wide open, but Cry refused to pull away yet, tilting his head and parting his lips. For a moment, Pewds just sat still, somewhat resistant, but after some time he relaxed and Cry did also, making the kisses more gentle and tender. His hands moved to rest on the curve of Pewdie's waist and his jaw, letting his tongue flick out against his soft lips and Pewds gasped-it was intoxicating, the sound he made-and he sighed gently, his own tongue lightly joining Cry's.

"O-oh! My..."

The boys broke apart quickly and began awkwardly turning their gazes about the room.

Red and Russ sat down in a nearby chair, exchanging unreadable expressions. Red broke out in a small smile. Russ chuckled and looked to the side. Soon Cry and Pewds had contained themsevles enough to look over at their friends, who had stopped their giggling and chuckling,

After some time, they had heard what Cry had to say.

"So, why did you do it?" Jund asked, having just recently returned and joined the conversation, a spoon full of ice cream hanging fro, his lips. Pewds realized that they were in a roomful of people who new that PewDiePie had cheated on his girlfriend. He felt uneasy suddenly. He hoped he could distract himself with Cry's explanations.

"I don't want to talk about it, guys."

"But Cry, we-"

"Red, it's just touchy! You of all people should know that!"Suddenly he was becoming defensive. Pewds had moved to sit on the edge of the bed, wary of his hot temper. He wasn't usual a mean or loud person, but right about now seemed to the contrary.

"I just, can't, Red."

"Cry, it's not-"

"Red! Drop it!"

He snapped.

Red flinched and closed her eyes.

"We all know that you love Felix. FELIX knows that you love Felix! So stop dicking around and just talk about this! Boxing it in is what caused this in the first place!"

The room went quiet. Red wasn't loud either, but suddenly, the room was bright with her own and Cry's yelling, and quickly silent again. Pewdie felt his blood rush to his face and his shoulders tense. His head became fuzzy and he suddenly was nauseas. He needed to leave the room, stuffy and tense with overflowing emotions and raw frustration. Hearing from the mouth of Red that Cry loved him had somehow upset Felix's stomach in a strange way.

"...How dare you." Cry's face was covered in brunette hair, his hand covering his mouth and chin. He wasn't supposed to move that hand in the first place, the one with the IV amd bandages. Red felt her eyes fill with tears at the tone of her friend's voice, anger directed at her and her alone. Cry had never, ever been mad at any of the livesteamers before, let alon Red.

"How dare you! You're supposed to me my friend, god damn it!" He felt hot tears spill down his face and his throat tighten up as anger washed over him, the betrayal he felt twisting his face. "You're supposed to keep my secrets, and i'm supposed to be able to trust you!"

Russ put his arm around the shaking girl's shoulders and pulled her closer as Cry sat, trembling, his gaze flashing towards her. Rage flickered behind Cry's eyes, mixed with grief and fear. What if Pewds rejected this? What if he stopped being his friend? He didn't want to have to put that on Red but now, if it happened, he knew his mind would automatically go to her for announcing his feelings.

"...go..."

"What?" She asked, almost a sob, shaking.

"...ld...go..."

"Cry?"

"I said you should go! Get out! Go away!" He looked dowm and shot a hateful look towards the blankets covering him. A soft gasp escaped her and she felt tears stream down her face like a waterfall. Without waiting for anything more she jumped up and left, the door bouncing off of the wall as she threw it open and slowly swinging shut. Russ cringed and looked over, sadly, at Cry.

"I'm going to attribute that to you being in pain, but you better apologize to her, and soon. She fucking cares about you. So do I. You worried her sick. Psycically, amd emotionally. Clean your act up, Cry." Russ responded, fairly sternly however his voice was full of concern. His worry was plain as day on his face. "We're going to the apartment to catch up on some sleep. I'll see you first thing in the morning."

Regreting every word he had said, Cry just nodded, his eyes glued to the wall.

He needed pain medicine. He felt flu-like, and his arms and stomach burned like hot acid dripping onto his skin, down his throat. He sobbed. It hurt so bad. Emotionally, physically, everything. Everything was wrong.

"I love you, Russ."

"You too, Cry. Goodnight."

Pewds was still reeling. He had never seen Cry act so...like, that, before. He looked up as the door closed and glanced down at the broken, shaking shambles of a man, his brunette hair askew and his bandaged hands trembling over his face. Tears could be seen pouring down his chin and neck.

"What happened to you, Cry?" The man was silent beside him, given a few sobs. Pewdie curled up around him and held him close. The pity Cry felt resonating from the man he loved made him feel like a broken window, pathetic and useless and horrible. But Pewdie still held him, his hand in his hair and on his waist, gently stroking the somewhat exposed skin of his hip, and Cry sobbed, "She's right, I love you so much, Pewds." That deep, sensual reading voice was back, cracking as he confessed.

Felix swallowed hard. He couldn't say it back.

He could say it back because he loved Marzia. But hearing Cry say it made him dizzy, his cheeks flushed. He'd known for a long, long time. It's not like Cry was very good at keeping secrets, aside from his fans. When Pewds would stay in Florida, he would wake upand find Cry on the floor or in the living room or the couch...at first he thought he had done something wrong.

One evening he had walked out into the bedroom, Cry's bedroom, in a towel. He had intended to simply grab his sweat pants and a tee shirt and head back to the bathroom to change, but as he bent down to grab his backpack, he caught a glimpse of Cry, face flushed at is computer but looking at him, blink away an intense stare and looking back at the screen. He was in the middle of recording a new video. Cry apologized and tried to stumble awkwardly out of the room but Pewds stopped him, grabbing his arm to ask why he was so upset. He truly had no idea back then.

Cry was tying in vain to cover the arousal, the growing mass in the front of his jeans, but Felix practically had Cry against the wall, that seductive reading voice of his begging almost desperately to let him go. "I'm really uncomofrtable with this, man!" He protested, laughing awkwardly, almost doubled over as he tried to slip away. Felix growled in frustration.

"Why are you like this? Did I do something wrong-" That was it. Cry knew Pewds could feel his arousal against his own thigh and he began profusely apologizing. He tried to many excuses but Felix suddenly understood. The weird sleeping arrangements, despite Cry's huge bed, the sparatic boughts of shyness and blushing amidst their daily joking and...just, so much more...Felix inhaled a shuddering, startled breath.

"Felix, please say something, you're freaking me out."

Instead, Pewds tipped his chin up and connected their lips. A muffled, startled sound escaped Cry's throat at first but he didn't protest, he didn't even /try/ to pull away, instead and began pushing Pewdie back towards the large bed, gripping his hip and shoulder.

They didn't have sex, not quite, rather everything but.

That was back in the fall. Back in September.

And that was why Felix hadn't been suprised about the confession. He'd known for a long time. But he had also stirred up Cry's feelings and cheated on his own girlfriend. That much was his fault, and he ciuldn't convince himself to take credit for it, or responsibility.

"Please don't marry her." Cry whimpered. Felix bit his lip. He had never been ready to make this decision, to break Cry's heart or to lose his friendship, the inevitable loss that would come when he said that he loved Marzia. A weak sound escaped his throat as he stuggled to pieced together as many words that would protect him as he could.

"In fact, I don't even care! Just don't stop being my friend, Pewds..."

A few moments past. Felix was gently stroking Cry's hair, the tears and deep sobs slowing over time and he found himself with his nose in the other's hair, his skin warm under his lips. "Please come back to Sweden with me." He murmured, his eyes closing. He felt Cry squirm and wiggle closer, holding Pewds in response. It was reassuring to know that he was still his his friend, that he still wanted to help.

"Are you sure?" He was so emotionally and physically exhausted that it came out as a statement rather than a question, his breathing evening out. Felix licked his lips and pressed his lips against Cry's sweaty forehead. Strangely, he didn't mind the sweat, and was comforted by the content sound that escaped Cry's lips. At least he was happy.

"Of course. I just want you to be better, Ry. You're my best friend."

Friend. Friend.

Just be friends. Just be friends.

Cry repeated this mantra over and over to calm the welling sadness that suddenly filled him. "Thank you, friend."

The question that nagged him the most was there, in the back of his mind, never ceasing to tug at him, a lump building in his throat each time he concerned.

Will Marzia be there.

Of course she would, it was their apartment.

Despite everyhing, Pewdie let Cry kiss him a few more times without complaint or resistance. If he was doing so just to calm him down or make him feel comfortable was for another conversation, but he was too content to complain. He nibbled lightly on the Swede's bottom lip and Felix flicked his tongue out against Cry's, their hands sliding up and down each other's waists.

Each time Felix lightly squeezed Cry's waist, rewarding him with soft, aroused noises. He'd never really imagined being with another man sexually before, although less explicit ideas had crossed his mind with Cry before, but the soft noises his friend made did something strange to his body and he found himself struggling to control a new found sexual desire.

It was that damn voice.

Pewds whispered, "Go to sleep." Against Cry's ear and it didn't take long for him to do so, suddenly warm and content and...happy. Very happy. He had been exhausted before, but now that he had the 'okay' to do so, he definately intended to take the offer.

"Thank you, friend."

"Don't worry about it, Cry." The phrase he used so often online warmed the American's heart and his eyes flutted closed, resting his head back on Pewdie's shoulder as darkness overcame his vision. Felix wrapped his other arm over Cry's back and he dozed off to the comforting sound of Cry's breathing evening out.

It was three-thirty in the morning on a cool September night. Considering that it was Florida, Pewds was amused by the cool breeze that filled the room from the cracked window. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

What was he going to do with Cry?