Chapter Two: Sunrise

I wanted none of this...

Not one thing.

Not the fame, nor the power, nor the glory.

I never wanted to be an orphan, when I was young I remember asking Aunt Petunia once why I didn't have a mother. I also remember that it took weeks before I could get the taste of soap out of my throat.

I never asked for anyone to give me hope.

Oh and how had I hoped! When Hagrid had told me there was a whole new world for me, people that would care for me, when he told me I wasn't a freak. I almost couldn't believe what he was saying, and some days I wish I hadn't. I wish I had been oblivious to it all.

Because some days, I think I would have preferred to live in my little cupboard under the stairs, than have my hopes risen to those heights only to be brought back down again and again.

Every hope stolen from my grasp.

Remus...

Every wish smothered.

Sirius...

Every plea gone unanswered.

Anybody...?

And then, betrayal, by those I thought to be my closest friends, my family.

It had been so subtle at first, I had merely thought it a by-product of their relationship, as both Hermione and Ronald began distancing themselves from me. I had thought they had been intending to spare my feelings...how wrong I was.

Lately though, they've been getting sloppy. I catch snippets of conversations I'm not meant to hear, facial expressions that don't match up, secretive glances they think I don't notice.

But I do.

How could I not notice, as right when I needed them the most they left me, without any explanation.

It's not that they don't pretend, they do. They just aren't there anymore, not the Ron and Hermione I had become friends with on my very first ride of that shiny red train, but the people who ignored my every plea, who scorned my every mistake, who judged and judged again, blaming me for their misfortunes.

My betrayers.

I spend more and more time alone now, sunrise and sunset, letting the sun wash over me. Reminding me of what I was missing in my little cupboard, reminding me that there is a world outside of that staircase, and that I'm still out here.

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Late already, I walked quickly towards the great stone gargoyle, as Professor McGonagall had kept the class back for ten minutes to help pack away the spare furniture we have been turning into reclining lounge chairs.

There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I have been trying to ignore all morning. A feeling that this meeting with the Headmaster did not bode well for my future.

A stray beam of sunlight passed over my shoulder and glinted off one of the eyes of the headmasters gargoyle. It was almost exactly like the material that made up the handle for The Door.

Within seconds the gargoyle had swung outward, the spiral stair case rotating to reveal a furiously angry Snape, looking likely to commit some brutal murder, but rather than acknowledging my presence simply stormed off down the corridor.

Gathering my courage, I took a deep breath and stepped onto the first step, closing my eyes as the staircase twirled my body upwards.

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