Thanks so much to everyone who's started following this story or favorited it or left a review. I appreciate your patience - I've had such a tough time after finishing The Family Business - writing 80,000 words in four weeks takes a lot out of you, honestly.
Special thanks to a guest named Chloe, nieka1995901, Expecto-Prongs, Sunkissed Lavender, CharmingKarma, Kid'sDarkWolf, MaTcHBoOkPoEt, madclifton, Keefer, Mello18, Sexy. Lil. Emo, aLoggedInReader, Aoi Faith, alias093001, potterbuncker, and Kathrin J Pearl for reviewing since I posted chapter 12. Again, sorry this took so long, but I needed a break after cranking out that monster of a fanfiction!
Gabriel supposed he knew it was coming. One doesn't wake up after a suicide attempt and just walk out the door. There were the inevitable visits from psychologists and psychiatrists, as well as a few nurses and doctors stopping by to monitor his vitals. Right after Sam went to tell the nurses' station that Gabriel had woken up, the seemingly-endless procession of professionals began. He knew they meant well, but it was still frustrating. He just wanted them to tell him he was good to go home and let whatever outpatient treatment they had in mind run its course.
And he was certain this would mean he had to get a therapist, but he wasn't worried about it. Not too much, anyway. What had happened… it had been a long time in coming. A lot of frankly shitty things had happened recently, not the least of which was his breakup with Kali, and he'd shoved it down. Sure, he'd talked about it to people, but aside from the night it happened, he hadn't really allowed himself to think about it for more than a few seconds at a time. It was almost no wonder it had finally just boiled over into something corrosive and dangerous.
Castiel and Sam spent the whole first night (and Castiel also spent the second) with him. The nurses ordinarily wouldn't have made an exception for them, but one of the doctors thought it would be a good idea if he wasn't completely alone. She figured that having a friend or two might make him feel less isolated, which he appreciated. Even if they weren't talking, he was glad at least one of them—whichever it was, because Castiel or Sam would leave for an hour or two to do what, he didn't know, but he understood they had lives and things they needed to do—was pretty much always with him. In fact, the only time one of them wasn't there was whenever one of the psychologists stopped by. That was at the psychologists' request—they wanted to talk to him one-on-one, without any outside pressure or judgment or whatever.
That first day, Sam didn't ask what happened. For that, Gabriel was grateful. He wasn't sure how to explain to him about Kali. He wanted to tell Sam, but he just had to figure out the best way to say, "I was almost engaged three weeks ago until she dumped my ass for the guy she was fucking on the side for two years." He knew Sam would probably feel bewildered by that information and used, like he'd just been Gabriel's rebound. And he supposed, technically, that's what it had been, but it didn't feel like a rebound. Not to him. Yes, they probably shouldn't have had sex as soon as they had (he had definitely rushed it there), but he knew he felt something deeper for him.
In fact, the first time he verbally acknowledged to someone who wasn't on the hospital staff what had happened, it was to Castiel, Lu, and Roché.
Castiel had been dozing in a chair across from Gabriel's bed when the door burst open and Lu and Roché sailed in. Damn. Already, he could see the problem with his high school best friend fucking his agent—they were plenty annoying on their own. Together, they would be unbearable. Although right now, they both looked more concerned than anything. Roché definitely appeared stressed out, and Lu looked like he couldn't decide what he wanted to do more: hug Gabriel or hit him. He settled for asking the obvious question. "Dude. What the Hell happened?"
Gabriel gave him a tired smile and waved at them both. "Hey, guys, how are you?"
Roché sighed and ruffled his fingers affectionately through Gabriel's hair. "Fine. How are you, you bloody idiot?"
"'m alright. Can't complain too much, I guess."
Lu, who had taken a moment to acknowledge Castiel (who looked stunned to see him), turned back to Gabriel. "Great. Awesome. Now do you mind explaining what the Hell happened? I mean…" The harsh look in his eyes softened. "Fuck, Gabe. I almost had a heart attack when I heard you… you know?"
Gabriel smiled sadly and nodded. "Yeah. I know. I'm sorry, guys. I…" He anxiously rubbed the back of his neck. "I thought I was okay with the whole Kali thing. And then yesterday morning, I found out she got engaged."
The shock in the room was almost tangible. "Damn," Lu said, looking like he'd just been smacked in the face with a folding chair. "Um, wow. That's a little… sudden."
"Apparently not," Gabriel responded bitterly. "They've been dating for two years."
"But you—oh." Now Lu looked really angry. "She doesn't deserve you, Gabe. You know that, right? She's… fuck, they haven't invented a word foul enough to describe her."
Castiel and Roché both looked stunned, too. "Wow, Gabe. I had no idea," Castiel said softly. "Why didn't you say anything before you… before you tried to kill yourself?"
Gabriel half-shrugged, purposely avoiding looking at any of them. "I reacted badly, okay? I don't have a good explanation. I just lost it. It was a really dark moment. I'd basically just found out that the last two years of my life had been a fucking lie. That's kind of hard to swallow, understand?"
Castiel slowly nodded. "Does Sam know about Kali?"
Gabriel sighed and finally shook his head. "No. I haven't told him about her yet."
"Who's Sam again?" Roché asked, and before Gabriel could answer, Lu and Castiel were both volunteering answers. Castiel's was significantly tamer; he said, "Dean's younger brother." Lu, though, said, "This guy that Gabe's obsessed with."
"I'm not obsessed with him," Gabriel hissed, but Roché appeared not to hear him.
"Is he the person you fucked this weekend?"
As Gabriel rolled his eyes and Castiel chuckled, Lu suddenly appeared intrigued. "That's a good question. Did you fuck him this weekend?"
"Yes, okay? Now can we drop the subject? It's really not that important." He also didn't like entertaining the realization that he was the only person in the room that Lu hadn't fucked and there were now discussing someone else that he had fucked. He wanted this particular conversation to go away in a hurry.
Lu laughed like a madman for a minute before regaining control. "Okay. Well. Are you gonna tell him?"
"Yeah, I am. I just… need to figure out how. And when."
Lu nodded solemnly. "Alright. Hey, listen, if you ever need Kali to disappear, I know a guy who knows a guy who can make that happen," he added with a smirk.
Gabriel laughed softly, not quite sure if Lu was joking or not. Roché and Castiel looked equally confused. It was really hard to tell with Lu's sense of humor sometimes. Either way, he decided to assume he was being serious at this point. "I'm okay. I don't really like her right now, but I don't want her to die or anything."
"Hey, hey, hey," Lu said, holding up his hands. "No one said 'die' or 'kill' or anything like that. I just said 'disappear.'" His grin widened a bit. "Without a body, no one can prove anything."
"Um. Thanks, I guess. But I'm alright." He glanced at Roché, and his agent looked slightly alarmed, but he relaxed as Castiel quickly changed the subject.
"So how much longer do they think you'll be here?"
Gabriel shrugged. "Another day, at least. I know they're going to want to make sure I'm physically alright before they let me go home. And they want me to get a therapist, of course."
"So they're not putting you in the psych ward?" Roché asked tentatively.
Gabriel half-smiled. "I believe the politically-correct term is 'loony bin.' But no, they're not. They seem to think I don't require that kind of intense psychiatric help."
"What about you? Do you think you need intense psychiatric help?"
He mulled it over for a minute before shaking his head. "No. I'm upset, but I'm not crazy. I'll… I'll be okay. I just need some time."
Sam spent nearly every free moment he could in Gabriel's hospital room for reasons he couldn't quite explain. He did leave once in awhile to stretch his legs whenever Castiel happened to be there as well—neither of them wanted to leave him alone, and Gabriel seemed to appreciate the company. But sometimes, being in there all day had him going a little nuts. He couldn't imagine how Gabriel managed it.
On one of his laps around the hospital, he paused in front of the gift shop near the cafeteria. He'd seen it several time before, and he'd often contemplated going in. He wasn't quite sure what he'd find—and he couldn't be sure if Gabriel was a stuffed-animal person, although it seemed safe to say he probably was—but this time, he finally went in to look around.
He skipped right past the cards section. He knew for sure that, if he did decide to buy something, it wouldn't be one of those. He contemplated a pink balloon with the words "It's a girl!" on it as a joke, but decided against it at the last minute. It wasn't that he thought Gabriel wouldn't laugh, because he had a feeling the short blonde would crack up. He just wasn't sure how Gabriel would explain it to anyone else who dropped in. He examined the shelves of stuffed dogs and cats and pigs and bears and other toys but didn't see anything that really interested him or screamed, "Gabe would love this!" to him.
He found a shelf full of paperback books near the back and started looking over the titles. A few looked interesting, but one entitled Hammer of the Gods looked particularly enticing. He'd never heard of the author before—someone called L.K. Norse—but the synopsis looked interesting enough so he brought it up to the register.
The line to check out had ten other people in it, so he started reading as he waited. From the first page, he was hooked. He didn't even notice the line moved forward until the person behind him gave him a quick poke in the small of his back. He spun around to shoot a glare at whoever it was, but ended up blinking in surprise, instead. "Oh, hey, Lu. What's up?"
Lu shrugged. "Not much. Gabe said you were around here somewhere, so I figured I'd sneak up on you. Looks like I did a good job, too." He nodded toward the book in Sam's hands. "What'cha got there?"
"Just… I don't know, it looked interesting," Sam said sheepishly. "It's called Hammer of the Gods."
Lu suddenly looked fascinated. "Oh, I read that back when it first came out." He grinned mischievously. "I'm not much of a reader, but I couldn't put it down. I was pleasantly surprised. Sequel hasn't come out yet, though."
"Huh." Sam glanced at the cover for a moment. "Yeah, actually, it's really good so far. I mean, I'm only like ten pages in, but I'm already hooked."
Lu nodded, still grinning. "Yep, that was pretty much my reaction, too. I think you're gonna like it. Although it really has a good mix of quite a few genres so I think there's hardly any person who wouldn't like it."
"Good. At least I know I'm not wasting my money then."
Lu nodded again. "Yeah. Just…" He looked highly amused about something. "When you get to the end, hold onto your butt."
"What, plot twist?"
"Something like that. I don't want to give away the ending or anything." He clapped Sam on the shoulder. "I'm heading back up to the room. You gonna be up after this?"
"Yeah." A quick shadow of suspicion suddenly crossed his mind. "Why?" he asked cautiously.
Lu suddenly looked highly offended. It was so extreme that Sam knew it was just an act. "I'm not hitting on you, Sam. Gabe already said he liked you, and I'm assuming you like him since you were apparently on a date with him the other day. Besides, I'm here with my… whatever."
"Your whatever?"
"Yeah." Lu bit his lip for a moment and furrowed his brow. "I don't know if he's really my boyfriend or what, but I like him, so…" He shrugged. "We'll see." He suddenly grinned. "Besides, Sammy, I don't do sloppy seconds."
Sam couldn't suppress a laugh. "In that case, it's a wonder you haven't fucked the whole city."
"Who said I haven't?" Lu joked, slipping out of line and exiting the store. He threw a wave over his shoulder as he went, and Sam shook his head, grinning.
As soon as he paid the twelve dollars for the book, he shoved it into his jacket pocket and headed back toward Gabriel's room.
It was supposed to be a bit longer than this, but...well, I don't have many chapters left. Next to be updated will be Blue Archangel, so give me another day or two and you'll have your wish!