Chapter Three: Jasmine Prayers

Stepping into the headmaster's office, I ignored the multitude of distractions that his shiny trinkets could have afforded me. And even though Snape had left and the Headmaster is smiling wistfully behind his desk, the room hangs heavy with a frustrated kind of tension, as if Snape had just forgotten to take his presence with him when he left and it had infested itself within the very walls of this room; reaching out from the stone to lap against my skin.

"Harry, my boy, please sit. Would you like some tea? How do you take it? With milk and sugar? And please do have a lemon drop or two; I finally managed to convince Minerva to fetch me a reasonable stash of them."

I tried my best to repress a snort and politely shook my head, taking my seat in the dark straight-backed chair across from his desk; rather than my sitting in the plush blue monstrosity I have grown accustomed to. I am growing tired of the Headmasters 'hosting' skills, and quite frankly I'm positive he is dosing either the tea or the candy with some potion or another. I'm not paranoid, I think.

"Do you, my boy, happen to have an idea as to why you are here?" Dumbledore asked gently.

"No, sir." I looked up from my nails, trying to feign some form of interest for the conversation ahead.

"You know, Harry, you are a very important person. You are a symbol of hope throughout the Wizarding world; as an infant you brought a respite from a war we were losing, that managed to last for 14 years, you are growing into such a powerful wizard Harry, and we already have so much to thank you for and yet we seem to always expect more. Some days I fear we ask too much of someone so young, but looking at you now Harry, I know that you would go to any lengths to see your friends' futures safe."

I had to put in a little more effort not to scoff at his sentiment. What friends?

Dumbledore took a deep breath and sucked noisily on a lemon sherbet, lost in thought.

To be honest I have only a vague idea of what he was gibbering about, I think I lost interest the moment the words started falling from his lips.

"...and so it is vitally important we do something about your education."

Obviously I hadn't been listening so I attempted to convince him I didn't understand by sitting there blinking owlishly.

Dumbledore frowned deeply.

"Surely, my boy! You don't think that a mere school for adolescents can teach you what you need to know in order to protect yourself from the likes of Voldemort and his supporters, do you? But you are still so young, and we have plenty of time, no need to rush, yes, no need."

The twinkling eyes that were usually so focused drifted off for a few minutes, before snapping back to look at my eyes. With a sigh that seemed too great for the man himself, Dumbledore picked up yet another yellow candy and fiddled with the wrapper.

"I wish for you to resume your occlumacy lessons with Professor Snape. Severus, himself, is willing to start now; however, I feel that you have no need to rush and that you should enjoy as much of the year as possible. I wish for you to take as much time as you want with this." Dumbledore said, smiling in that infuriatingly gentle, grandfatherly way.

"Now, Harry, I know Sirius' death was very hard on you, and if you need to talk, I'm always here for you."

Bullshit.

"It's always very hard losing people that you're close to at your age, and you seem to be coping very well, you're studies are definitely improving and I'm sure Sirius would be very proud."

Are you fucking kidding me? This is your idea of coping?

"We will talk about resuming your occlumacy lessons another time when Severus can be present. As I keep saying there is truly no reason to rush. I'm hoping that you two will be able to put aside your differences and work together to begin your training. "

It'll be a cold day in hell, before Snape can see me as myself, rather than my father, so keep hoping you stupid old man.

"The third period is soon to begin, you are dismissed."

"Yes, Headmaster"

I could feel the old man's eyes twinkling at me on my way towards the spiral staircase, a cold feeling slipped down my spine and I realized something.

No-one could win this war for me. No-one can protect me from this prophecy. Dumbledore in his infinite wisdom was playing the waiting game with my life; playing out this war like a great big, bloody chess game.

On the way down to Herbology I realized something else.

I wasn't his golden boy, and I'm not going to wait for him to get me killed.

Fuck Dumbledore, Fuck everyone.

I'm going to finish this war.

Me.

Just Harry.

With that grim determination I held my head a little higher and tried to hurry to my third period; which resulted in a stick somehow becoming lodged in my shoe. Stupid motherfucking shit-stick.

Herbology was a total drag, Professor Sprout spent so much time telling us what the years before us had done wrong and didn't actually let us replant any of the wild marsh-flower.

So, a little irritated, I made my way down to the Great Hall, I was so lost in thought I didn't notice I was on a collision course until I bumped into wall of flesh.

"Potter!" The blonde spat at me as I attempted to get up off the floor. "Leave me alone." I looked up at him, retort on the tip of my tongue, only to see his form retreating down towards the dungeons.

I try to shrug off the odd feeling in my stomach, a cross between the result of skipping breakfast and Malfoy's attitude, and I slipped into the Great Hall. The lunch hour looked to be another I skipped before I felt an arm slip through mine.

A few things happen at once. My nose was filled by the gentle scent of Jasmine, I'm being dragged off to the table full of Ravenclaws, and Luna starts smiling.

"My Harry, you sure have been busy today, your brain must be fit to bursting with all those ideas floating around your ears." Her blue eyes are almost piercing before softening for a moment. "It's okay Harry. We don't need to talk about it just yet. But come sit, eat, I have seen less of you this year that my dad's seen Bowtruckle seedlings sprout; or lose their first casing, you haven't seen them around have you Harry?"

We're sitting at the far end of the table, but no-one seems keen to sit anywhere near me. Trying to listen to Luna means I only see about half the stares sent my way, but I see them nonetheless. I focus back to Luna and she's pulled out her notebook, doodling small star-shaped flowers around the corners. There a pair of glasses much like mine, drawn on an owl, that if you squint, looks like mine. A snippet of verse catches my eye, scratched out in ink in the lower corner.

When Jasmine settles on a winter's frost,

And time is gone and all seems lost.

The enemy you made a friend,

Is the one you can count on in the end.

"Hey Luna, what's this?" I trace my finger along one of the little snakes she's drawn along the border.

"It's you, Harry, well it's not actually you, but it is. See?"

I'm quite confused, but I'm enjoying the way the snakes seem to disagree with which way to go, their tails tied around each other.

"ARG! I'm not terribly good at explaining myself, Harry. But Dad says the best things in life don't need explaining...or they can't be explained...I'm not sure which. But it's a present for you, when it's finished. I started drawing it when you helped me find my shoes Harry. I figured you were too smart to lose something you knew you had, so I figured I'd find something you had that you didn't know you did."

I smiled, whatever it was, it was all Luna.

And it was real.

Tonight I attempted to get to sleep early but I still had that odd feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I know it well now, its dread.

The second I fall asleep I know I'm dreaming; I'm not this tall, and the dormitory has never been this cold. There is an odd sensation on my cheek, like I'm sucking on it, but I'm not. I'm sure.

It's wet, and there is a tangy flavour on my tongue I'm sure I shouldn't like. I stand and walk into the bathroom, the mirror is well light, but the candles are out.

A white line runs along my cheek from jaw to nose, like a very old scar. I reach up to touch it, and my fingernails catch on the edge of it, and the white is falling away. Bits of it coming to rest on the floor.

The light is flickering as if the candles were lit, but spluttering and on their way out.

Behind the white, red starts to seep through, and my cheek seems to slip beneath my hands.

When I touch the gaping wound with my fingers, I can feel my tongue. The blood is pooling on the back of my hand and states to run down to pitter-patter on the floor. When I look back up from the red dripping on the floor, I don't catch my reflection before the light goes out.

Then I start to scream.

Thank Merlin for silencing charms.

The moonlight is filtering dimly through the curtains when I stop pretending to be asleep and get out of bed quietly. Slipping on some thick socks to hide my footfalls and pulling my father's cloak out from underneath the bed, where I had kicked it last time I had used it, I resigned myself to yet another nightly vigil. Carefully, as to not wake the others I edged my way down the stairs and into the frigid hallways.

I was so intent on my destination that the inquisitive eyes peeking out from beneath one of the piles of brilliant red sheets went completely unnoticed.

Feed the Muse! She eats Reviews!

Whenever I type Malfoy, OpenOffice tries to tell me I mean Malformed.

Reviewers so far:

Celtic Harmony -

A big thankyou for helping me with Chapter 3, It took awhile but now it's finally out of my head.

dark-light-pheonix -

Snape loving will take awhile, as it is he's still an evil old bat to ickle Harry, but it will get there soon enough.

YaoiCookies87 -

Soon...didn't happen. Sorry, hope you enjoyed Chapter 3 regardless.

HerebTheLostRaven -

Nice username, :) Thankyou for the review.

LadyBriarRose -

Thanks, I hope it continues to be a good read.

perfect-piscies -

^_^ updates will be out asap from november onwards, thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate chapter per chapter reviews, :D

LittleMrsAdams -

A big thankyou for helpin me polish up Chapters 1 and 2, and sorting out some of the future plot. :D I hope you and your laptop are well!