Summary: Socrates convinces Calvin and Hobbes that the sky is about to fall.
And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Swing123 and garfieldodie
The Falling Sky
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Calvin screamed, as he flew across the lawn, and into a barrel of catsup.
Socrates and Hobbes toppled over laughing.
Calvin crawled out of the barrel, dripping with the red condiment.
"HA HA HA!" Socrates exploded. "Wait there's more!" he alerted Hobbes.
"Hee, hee, hee. OK, let's see it."
Calvin's head shot up.
Socrates was pulling out a remote control, and preparing to push the button.
"AAAAAAAAAAAA!" Calvin screamed.
He leaped out of the barrel, and scrambled for a safe spot.
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT PART OF THE YARD I HAVE RIGGED!" Socrates called after Calvin. "WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO?"
"What'll it do?" Hobbes asked.
"Nothing, It's my old TV remote."
He winked.
Hobbes grinned.
"OOOOOOOOOOOHHH." he chuckled.
Hobbes and Socrates watched Calvin scrambling around in circles, trying to look for a safe place to hide.
After a while, they couldn't hold it back, and they burst out laughing.
When Calvin realized that he had been had, he stopped running around, growled, and stormed over to Socrates.
"YOU!" He screamed.
Socrates stopped laughing, and his eyes popped open.
Calvin was storming over to Socrates, his eyes aflame.
"Oops." He said. "Well, Hobbes, I think if I care about my physical health, I better jet!"
There was a moment of silence.
Then Socrates and Hobbes burst out laughing again.
This didn't help Calvin's emotions towards Socrates.
"Seriously, though." Socrates finally said. "I better go. The Sci-Fi channel is showing Close Encounters of the Weird Kind."
And with that, Socrates leaped over the fence, and rushed off towards his mansion.
Hobbes waved goodbye.
Calvin didn't.
He rushed to the edge of the fence, and screamed, "YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN! AND IF YOU EVER SHOW YOUR SORRY FACE AROUND HERE, AGAIN, I'LL DO EVEN WORSE THAN WHAT I DID TO YOU TODAY!"
In the distance, Calvin could hear Socrates laughing.
Calvin growled, and spun around.
Hobbes was staring at him.
"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Calvin bellowed, storming into the house.
Hobbes blinked.
He checked his watch.
7:00 PM.
Calvin spent the rest of the day vowing to get revenge over the first red tailed cat he saw.
And around nine, he decided to carry out his vow.
Heh, heh.
Calvin laid motionless in his bed with his eyes closed.
But suddenly, they burst open, and cut from side to side.
Hobbes was sleeping next to him, and the room appeared to be empty.
Calvin then complained to himself about if he had glowing eyes like Hobbes, his eyes bursting open would have been a lot more dramatic.
He does that every time he wakes up in the middle of the night.
Calvin climbed out of bed, and tip toed down the stairs.
He walked outside into the cool night air.
Bats swooped around him, and caught moths hanging around the lights, as Calvin crept across the sidewalk, and onto the road.
He tossed his head over his shoulder, made sure no one was watching, then darted down the road.
Soon he came to that big mansion at the end of the block.
It looked a lot more spooky at night.
Especially since it was sort of designed like a castle.
Calvin stared at the mansion for a second, then tiptoed into Socrates' yard.
But as he walked in, his leg snapped a string that in the gate.
SNAP!
Oops.
Calvin began towards the big door that lead into Socrates' prank headquarters.
Suddenly the string that had been broken by Calvin's leg went through a paper cup with a hole at the bottom, making a loud hissing noise.
Calvin halted dead.
He looked around, trying to get a fix on where the sound was coming from.
The string then went through the paper cup, releasing it.
It fell to the ground, and landed on a small peg.
The peg went down, and released a wind up car.
The car zoomed across the grass, past the stunned Calvin, and hit a piece of wood.
It sprang up, and slammed into a garbage can lid.
CLANG!
Calvin leaped three feet into the air, and landed in a heap on the ground.
The loud noise shook another piece of sting, that ran across from the fence to Socrates' house.
A can of red paint began shaking on Socrates' roof.
It tumbled off the roof, and landed on a piece of wood, which catapulted it towards the sidewalk.
SPLASH!!
"AUUUUUGH!"
Inside the mansion, Socrates snorted in his sleep, and turned over in bed.
Calvin stood there, dripping with paint, and glaring into the darkness.
"That stupid cat has way too much time on his hands." He growled.
He tried to wipe all the paint out of his eyes, as he walked over to the porch.
He took out of his hypercube, and pulled out a towel.
When he was completely paint free, again, Calvin grumbled to himself, put the towel back, and snuck into the house.
He cut his eyes from side to side, then tiptoed up the stairs towards Socrates' room.
Then he saw the elevator.
He grumbled to himself, stepped off the stairs, and took the elevator.
He stepped inside, and pushed the button marked TOP FLOOR.
Suddenly, Socrates' voice rang out inside the elevator.
"Welcome to the elevator of Socrates. If you are me, then please state the password. If you aren't me then prepare for your utter downfall!"
Calvin's brow furrowed.
"You've got to be kidding me." He growled.
There was a moment of silence.
"No password, eh?" The elevator snarled. "Very well. I shall now showeth you all the cool features this elevator has!"
"You have no idea how much I don't care." Calvin hissed as the elevator started upward.
"Are ya a little too warm?" The elevator asked. "not a problem in this baby."
Suddenly a tube came out, and shot a ton of snow on the top of Calvin.
"AAAAAAAAH!" Calvin screamed.
"And we also have a feature for identifying intruders! Say pineapple!"
Suddenly a camera came out of the wall, and snapped a picture of Calvin, before going back into it.
"And if you fell like a drink half way to your destination, then we have a feature for that too!"
Suddenly, a tube shot out of each side of the wall, and pointed at Calvin.
"I hate that cat." Calvin snarled.
SPLASH! SPLOOSH! SPLIISH! SPLOUSH!
All at once, water balloons attacked Calvin from all sides.
Just then the elevator stopped.
"Well, we've reached our destination." it said, causing Calvin to sigh. "Don't forget your parting gift!"
Calvin's eyes squeezed shut.
Another tube shot out of the wall.
The elevator doors opened, and an avalanche of mayonnaise collapsed onto the floor.
Calvin climbed out of it, and shuffled across the floor, leaving a trail of mayo behind him.
Calvin walked up to Socrates' room.
He was still asleep.
Heavy sleeper isn't he?
Calvin snuck into the room, and walked up to Socrates' bed.
He cut his eyes from side to side for the third time that night.
Then, he took out his MTM.
He turned on the gravity device, and pointed it at Socrates.
ZZZZT!
A white glow appeared around Socrates, and he lifted off his bed.
He remained asleep in the same position.
Calvin turned around, and Socrates hovered around with him.
Calvin walked over to the window, and pushed the tiger out the window.
"Hey Socrates!" Calvin called.
Socrates' eyes drifted open.
He stared at Calvin.
"Cally, what are you..."
Socrates looked down.
"Oh." He said.
Calvin pushed a button on the MTM.
Suddenly, the white glow vanished, and Socrates hovered in the air for a second.
"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" He yelled, pawing at the air, before crashing to the ground.
Calvin burst out laughing.
"HA HA HA HA HA! Take that Socrates! And always remember that I can be equally as pranky as thou!"
Socrates lay in a heap in the grass.
His left eye was twitching.
Calvin ran outside, pointed at Socrates, and laughed.
"There ya go, cat!" He yelled. "There's my revenge! Cooked and ready to be served!"
Socrates stood up, and glared at Calvin.
"Well then," He hissed. "Time to have revenge over your revenge."
He calmly walked up Calvin.
"Well, Calvin, you have pranked the prankster." He said, cooly.
"Right." Calvin said, suspiciously. "and how does it feel?"
"Oh not bad." Socrates said, examining his claws as he spoke. "I think it might just awoken my ESP."
There was a moment of silence.
"Huh?" Calvin asked, raising his eyebrow.
"That means I can tell the future." Socrates said.
"I know what it means, kitty, but since when do you get ESP?!"
"I dunno, but it adds to the drama." Socrates said.
There was a pause.
Then Calvin grinned.
"Socrates, your jokes are starting to get old. Do you expect me to believe that?"
"Well, you better believe it, because I'm about to make a prediction."
Socrates studied the clouds overhead.
"Day after tomorrow, the sky is going to fall."
There was a long moment of silence.
Then Calvin's mouth curled upward, and he burst out laughing.
He fell onto his back, and rolled around with insane laughter.
Socrates watched him, calmly.
"HA HA HA HA! The SKY is going to fall! That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Socrates, you've said that over a hundred times, and you know what? The sky never did fall!"
"Oh it'll fall." Socrates said. "I just got my dates mixed up. But mark my words, come Thursday at four o'clock, entire galaxies, planets, and satellite dishes will crash to the Earth."
Calvin patted Socrates on the shoulder.
His eyes were wide, and his grinning mouth was twitching.
"Sure pal."
And with that, Calvin walked off, laughing, leaving Socrates grinning after him.
When he got home, he chuckled his way up his to his room, and went in.
He got back into bed, and laid there for a long time.
Every now and then he would catch himself looking out the window up at the clouds.
He couldn't fall asleep.
He didn't believe Socrates. Not one word of it, but he couldn't help but wonder.
"Had the sky ever fallen before?" He thought out loud.
He studied the stars outside.
Some of them looked pretty big... and heavy.
What was holding them up?
Calvin decided to consult Hobbes.
He sat up, and turned to Hobbes.
"Hobbes?" He whispered. "Hobbes?"
Hobbes sighed in his sleep.
"Hobbes I hate to bother you, but I need to ask you something."
"Zzzzzz... why yes, I would like some cookies...zzzz... back up the truck..."
"Hobbes, I don't want to alarm you but I have received intelligence THAT THE SKY IS GOING TO FALL!"
Hobbes' eyes exploded open, he leaped into the air, hit his head on the ceiling, crashed to the floor, and screamed, "HELP!"
Then his eyes came into focus, and he stared at Calvin.
His brow furrowed.
"You have two seconds to improve my mood." He growled.
Calvin grinned.
"Hi-howdy, Hobbes, I just woke you up to give you a little weather report Socrates made."
Hobbes' eyes drifted to the clock.
It was three in the morning.
"You've got to be kidding me." He sighed.
He stood up, and climbed into bed.
"Can't you tell me how he humiliated you in the morning?"
"He didn't humiliate me!" Calvin growled. "He humiliated himself!"
"I'm sure he di... ZZZZZZZZ."
Suddenly Hobbes head hit the pillow, and he fell asleep.
"Hobbes..." Calvin growled. "There's a wolverine in the kitchen."
Hobbes' eyes shot open, he leaped into the air, and screamed, "WOLVERINE IN THE KITCHEN! WOLVERINE IN THE KITCHEN! THAT'S WHERE ALL MY TUNA IS!"
And with that, Hobbes shot out of the room.
Calvin ran after him.
"Where did that dumb tiger go?" Calvin muttered, rounding the corner that lead to the kitchen.
POW!
"AAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!"
Calvin and Hobbes went flying backward before hitting the wall, and landing in a heap on the floor.
Hobbes then began clawing, biting, and scratching the screaming Calvin.
The light clicked on, and Mom and Dad stood in the doorway, staring at Calvin.
They didn't look happy.
They looked... uh... angry and irrational.
After accusing Calvin of sleep walking, they sent him up into his bed, and walked out.
Calvin glared at Hobbes.
Hobbes was wiping tuna off his mouth.
"But the good news is that I beat the wolverine." He said, proudly. "I guess he'll think twice before he ever comes back to steal my tuna."
That wasn't a wolverine you brick!" Calvin shouted. "It was ME!"
"Oh." Hobbes said. "no wonder there was a dusty taste in my mouth."
Calvin shoved his nose in Hobbes' face.
"Hobbes! I woke you up to tell you something very important! Now look what you've done! You've gotten me so scrambled up I don't know if I'm coming or going!"
"Gee, does this mean I can go back to bed, now?" Hobbes asked.
"NO! You're staying right here until I remember what I was going to tell you."
It took Calvin a few minutes to gather his thoughts, but finally, he remembered what he had woke Hobbes up for.
"OK, now I remember." He told Hobbes. "I was going to alert you of something Socrates said to me."
Calvin looked over both shoulders, and whispered, "Hobbes, about half an hour ago I went over to Socrates' house. and he told me that the sky was going to fall on Thursday!"
And with that, he launched himself into the story.
When he was done, he couldn't hold himself back, and he burst out laughing at Socrates' pathetic prank.
Hobbes didn't laugh though.
He was in fact staring at Calvin with some concern.
"He told you that?" He demanded.
Calvin stopped laughing.
"Yeah, you don't believe him, do you?"
"Well, I had always assumed that Socrates was better than that."
"Well, maybe he's losing his touch. He just finished telling me that he had ESP and that his first prediction was the sky falling."
Hobbes rubbed his chin.
"That's weird. Usually when Socrates says something ridiculous like that, it's always a cover up for something way more cunning."
Calvin stared at him.
"What are you saying? That sky's going to fall in a couple of days?"
"I don't know what he's up too." Hobbes said. "But it has to be something..."
Just then, Hobbes stopped.
"Why did you go over to his house in the first place?" he asked.
"Oh, just to..." Calvin rolled his eyes around. "...Thank him for the wonderful time I had today."
"You did something to him." Hobbes said. "Well that explains everything. Calvin, how many times have I told you not to pull pranks on him?!"
"Somewhere in the eight thousands." Calvin said dully. "But think about Hobbes, he didn't much time to think about what he was doing. He just walked up to me and started babbling about the sky."
Hobbes slapped his forehead.
"Well, I'm sorry I told you, Hobbes, because you're obviously no help whatsoever." Calvin said, narrowing his eyes.
Hobbes took his hands off his eyes.
He stared at Calvin.
"OK, let's just forget it." he said, "let's go back to bed now, I'm exhausted."
"Agreed."
And with that, Calvin and Hobbes climbed under the covers.
But only Calvin slept.
Hobbes spent most of the night wondering what Socrates could be up to.
With Socrates, you can never really know until the prank is over.
The next morning, Hobbes got up early, snuck out of the room, and walked down to Socrates' mansion.
He walked through the yard, and pressed the door bell.
DING DONG!
There was a moment of silence, and then, Socrates answered.
"Welcome to my humble abode, Hobbo!" he said, cheerfully, opening the door. "Enter!"
He does that every time Hobbes visits.
Hobbes walked in.
"Hi, Socrates." He said. "I just wanted to ask you about the latest prank on Calvin your pulling."
There was a moment of silence.
Socrates' grin vanished.
"Prank? What prank? I'm doing any pranks."
"What about last night?" Hobbes asked.
"I slept." Socrates said.
"You said to Calvin that the sky was going to fall."
Socrates' grin returned.
"Oh, THAT! HA HA HA! Yes, I told him the sky was going to fall."
"What's the plan?" Hobbes asked.
Socrates stared at him.
"Huh?" he asked.
"The plan, what are we doing to Calvin?"
"No plan." Socrates shrugged. "The sky falls tomorrow."
There was a moment of silence.
"Wha...?" Hobbes began.
"Yep-er-doodles." Socrates said.
"Wait a minute..." Hobbes began. "You told him you had ESP! What's that all about?"
"Yeah, that was fib." Socrates said. "I wanted to test him to make sure he knew what it meant."
There was a moment of silence.
"So where did you hear that the sky was going to fall?" Hobbes asked.
"Some article out of a news letter I get." Socrates said.
Hobbes stared at him.
"Well, you don't seem so freaked out about it." Hobbes said.
"Very true." Socrates said. "You see, I aim on trying to recover Mars when it lands."
There was another long pause.
Hobbes decided the conversation wasn't going in the direction he wanted it to, so he shifted it.
"But... don't you think it would be on the news?" Hobbes asked.
"Nope." Socrates shook his head. "They don't want to freak us out. They think they can stop it, so they're just going to try to. It's not going to work though."
"What are they doing?" Hobbes asked.
Socrates stared at him for a moment, then looked at his watch.
"Gee will you look at the time! Close Encounters of the Lunatic Kind is on. I'm sure you have a lot to do, saving the world and stuff."
Socrates lead Hobbes outside.
"See ya when the sky falls." he said. "Let's hope Mars will land somewhere around here."
He looked at the sky.
"Or maybe Venus. I wouldn't mind if Pluto lands in my house as well."
He grinned at Hobbes.
"Ah well, I'm babbling, now. See ya later, and look out for those giant red stars. They pack a wallop!"
And with that, Socrates slammed the door.
Hobbes stood there for a long time, staring at the door.
He was now extremely worried.
He knew Socrates wasn't the guy that would lie to him.
Well, he'd lie to him to pull a prank, but Socrates was doing this to get Calvin, not him.
Hobbes' eyes drifted upward.
Dark clouds were beginning to gather, and lightning began to snap across the sky.
He gulped.
When he returned home Calvin was standing at the door waiting for him.
"Well, what's the good news?" He asked, grinning.
"Socrates stuck to his story." Hobbes said.
"I knew it." Calvin said. "he's so upset at his lame prank that he's going to do his best to make us believe it until four tomorrow."
"I'm not entirely sure, Calvin," Hobbes began. "Socrates doesn't lie to me."
"You believe him?" Calvin asked. "Hobbes, you're unbelievable. It's all a stupid joke!"
"Why do you say that?" Hobbes asked.
"Hobbes, is the wind blowing?" Calvin asked.
Hobbes began listening.
"No the wind isn't blowing. But what does that have to do with anything?"
Calvin leaned forward.
"For you see, Hobbes, the sky can't fall if there isn't any wind."
Hobbes stared at him.
"Why?" He asked.
Calvin stared back at him.
"Well... because it just can't."
Hobbes' eyes drifted upward.
Judging by how the trees on Sneer Hill were moving, there appeared to be a cold front coming down the side of the mountain.
Hmmmm,
Hobbes turned back to Calvin.
"What would you say if the wind suddenly came up?"
Calvin glared at him.
"I wouldn't say anything because it isn't going to happen." He said. "For you see Hobbes, if the wind was blowing, then we'd have something to worry about, if trees were being uprooted, and cows were being lifted off the ground, maybe we could consider that the sky might..."
Perfect timing!
Just as Calvin was finishing up his little speech, the cold front slammed right into the middle of the property.
Calvin didn't even have time to be surprised. That wind picked him off his feet, and sent him rolling down the driveway, and if he hadn't smashed into the garage, he would have kept on going.
Hobbes rushed over.
Calvin was laying on his back, staring up at the sky.
"Calvin, are you hurt?"
"What do you think?"
"You didn't finish your speech." Hobbes said. "You'd come to the important part. What were you saying?"
"Hobbes, I have the feeling you think this is funny." Calvin growled. "Well, it isn't."
He leaned over and went nose to nose with Hobbes.
"And I'd appreciate it if you..."
Just then, a spark of electricity jumped across the space between Calvin and Hobbes' noses, giving both of them a jolt.
They both recoiled.
Calvin rubbed his nose.
"You just... you just shocked my nose!" He yelled.
"No, I think you shocked mine. and it hurt. OH MY POOR NOSE!"
"Hobbes, I was just standing here, and I saw the whole thing! You sent a spark of electricity from your nose and down mine!"
"Well, OK, but I didn't do it."
"Hobbes!" He put his nose to Hobbes' face again. "How can you sit there and..."
ZAP!
It happened again!
Another huge jolt of electricity went through both of their noses.
Hobbes grinned.
"See? I didn't do it."
"I saw it pal, and you DID do it! That didn't come from me! I don't know what you're up to but..."
"Ya know, I think the wind is shaking some power lines and flinging electricity into the air." Hobbes considered.
Calvin stared at Hobbes.
He looked around.
The power lines were indeed being flung around in the wind.
And he could see little sparks of electricity fling from them
OK, maybe Hobbes didn't actually...
Calvin turned back to Hobbes.
"Hobbes, sometimes I think you're trying to make a mockery of my life."
To which he said, "Oh thanks, me too."
Calvin glared at him.
"Come on, let's get out of this wind."
And with that, Calvin and Hobbes made there way back into the house.
Calvin stared outside.
Just a few minutes earlier, he was positive that Socrates' forecast was just a bunch of baloney.
But now... he wasn't too sure.
To be continued...