Summary: Dr Brainstorm kidnaps Calvin's parents, and demands Calvin's invesntions for their safe return.
And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Swing123 and garfieldodie
The Return of Doctor Brainstorm
A small white rat ran through a small rat maze.
Ya know, one of those things that scientists use to torment white rats with.
The mouse ran down the twisting and turning labyrinth, and soon came to the exit.
It sniffed the outside world, then prepared to run out, when suddenly, a hand puppet with a glare drawn on it with crayon blocked it.
"FEAR ME!" The puppet roared.
The mouse stared at it.
"BEWARE!"
The mouse stared at it.
"DON'T MAKE ME TAKE OUT MY DESTROYER RAY!"
The mouse wiggled its nose slightly.
A man with tall red hair, and a lab coat stood up.
"This is hopeless!" He yelled. "I'll never be able to complete my fear-making-machine if I don't have a fear sample from something! Stupid mouse!"
A tall thin, silver robot with a long nose, and a bored expression on his face didn't even look up from a magazine as he said, "The truth is, Frank, that you couldn't scare a flea on a grandpa's knee."
"THE NAME IS DOCTOR BRAINSTORM, JACK!" The man screeched. "And that is not true!"
Jack turned the page.
"You couldn't even scare that cat when you woke it up from its nap by screaming at it."
"I did too scare it!" Dr Brainstorm spat. "I have the cuts to prove it! I just forgot to get those stupid fear detector tubes on it!"
Jack turned the page again.
"Yes, that's your big accomplishment of the year."
"You're hilarious!" snarled Brainstorm. "And once I finish that other robot I'm making, you're out of here!"
"You know that thing doesn't work." Jack said. "It thought that used band-aids were to keep tomato soup fresh."
Brainstorm grumbled to himself, and turned away.
Jack started to chuckle.
"Seems like only yesterday you were throwing it in the junk heap because you ate its scab collection."
"I thought they were potato chips!" Brainstorm growled.
"I couldn't stop laughing for hours." Jack sighed. "Good times. Good times."
Brainstorm grumbled to himself, and turned back to his work.
"All I care about right now is finishing that FMM, because once I do so, I'll..."
"...Scare the planet into worshiping you." Jack said, turning back to his magazine.
Brainstorm glared at him.
"How did you I was going to say that?!" He demanded.
"You've said like ten billion times already." Jack replied. "Besides, you know that as soon as you leave this hideout, holding that thing," He pointed at a small cube shaped device with a spring sticking out of it. "That kid is going to conveniently show up, and beat you without even trying."
Brainstorm froze.
"You're right!" He gasped. "That punk is going to ruin everything!"
"Yeah, I remember the time he gagged you and tied you up in that cardboard box of his. That was funny."
"Shut up."
Brainstorm turned to his computer.
"Very well then." He growled. "I will have to lure Calvin and his tiger to me, then I'll capture him, and make him scared with my FMM!"
"Oh, that's just genius, Mr Brainstorm." Jack said, sarcastically.
"Hold your applause, Jack, I'm not finished." Brainstorm cut his eyes from side to side, and whispered, "I'll capture his parents, and hold them here, hostage! Then he'll have to give in to my mighty might!"
"Wow, Mr Brainstorm, I didn't know you had such a sophisticated mind."
"You better believe it, Jack!" Brainstorm said. "And the next time you have some smart crack about my genius, you'll probably think twice, wont you!"
"I certainly will, Frank."
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!"
Brainstorm hit a button on his keyboard.
A picture of Calvin and Hobbes came on.
"Once I have them captured, EARTH WILL BER MINE FOR THE TAKING!" He threw his arms into the air, and laughed, insanely.
Jack rolled his eyes.
Calvin stood across his yard.
Hobbes and Socrates were standing behind him.
Calvin was holding his MTM, and he was squinting at an arrow target that was straight across the yard.
He flipped a switch on the MTM, opened the Main Menu, and pushed LASER
ZAAAAAAP!
A blast of white electricity exploded from the tip of the MTM, bolted clear across the yard, and struck the target, causing it to fly backwards several feet at a high rate of speed.
Calvin grinned, triumphantly.
"YES!" he grinned. "Socrates! Time!"
Socrates, who was leaning against the fence, glanced lazily at the stopwatch in his hand.
"Point six seconds." He said.
"I was aiming for point five, but good enough! Hobbes! Accuracy!"
"You are perfectly capable of doing this stuff on your own." Hobbes grumbled, walking up to the target, and studying it.
"Bull's eye." he said, looking at the target that had smoke raising from the center.
"Yes!" Calvin grinned. "My defense feature is now upgraded! The MTM now has a targeting feature! I'm a genius!"
A holographic message came up on the MTM.
I'm the one that did all the work. Is anyone thanking ME?
Calvin stared at the MTM.
"I really should get rid of that insult chip, someday." He said.
"Install the Direct TV dish into it, first." Hobbes said, walking back up.
"Yeah, I'll get right on it."
Susie began walking down the sidewalk.
"AS SOON AS SUSIE LET'S ME BORROW HER STUPID SATELLITE DISH!" He called after her.
"Leave me out of your life's plans, you little weirdo." Susie said, rounding the corner.
Dr Brainstorm and Jack watched Calvin, Hobbes, and Socrates messing with the MTM.
They were up in a jet high above the clouds, and they were watching them through a monitor.
"Look at them!" Brainstorm yelled. "So oblivious! So carefree! Little do they know that Dr Brainstorm is ready for action!"
"Oh, they're doomed." Jack said.
"Shut up with your smart remarks and bring me my make it night time device."
"You mean this screwdriver?" Jack asked, holding up a screwdriver.
"Give me that!" Brainstorm spat, grabbing the screwdriver away. "This is a highly... uh... fragile device!"
"I'll bet."
"WHAT!"
"I'll bet you."
"Very well, how much?"
"Ten dollars."
"You're on!" Brainstorm threw his screwdriver on the floor, and smashed it with his foot.
Then he turned a smug grin onto Jack.
"See, I told you it was fragile!"
Then his grin faded as he added two and two together.
"Oh." He said, looking down at it
Jack grinned.
"It was worth ten dollars." He said, handing Brainstorm a bill.
Brainstorm angrily grabbed the bill away, and stuffed it in his pocket.
"Thanks a lot Jack!" He snarled. "Now we have to wait for night to fall on its own!"
"Sure thing, buddy." Jack yawned, picking up a newspaper.
Just then, Mom came out the door, and called, "Calvin! It's time to come in!"
"What!" Calvin screamed. "But it's not even dark yet!"
"I didn't say it was." Mom said. "I said it was time to come in. Get your stuffed tigers and let's go."
Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.
"See ya later, Socrates." Hobbes said, walking into the house.
Socrates waved goodbye, and ran off.
Calvin remained where he was.
"I refuse to move from this spot until I get a lawyer!" He announced.
Mom walked up to Calvin, picked him up, and carried him into the house.
"HEY! LEGGO! GET OFF ME! HEY! HELP! HELP! HELP! I'M BEING HELD AGAINST MY WILL! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!"
Mom slammed the door, carried Calvin up the stairs, and dropped him in his room, with him still screaming, "HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!"
Hobbes, Mr goody two shoes, was already there.
Calvin grumbled to himself, and sat down at his desk.
"Ya know Hobbes, it's times like this, that I wished that Mom and Dad would go away for at least a day!"
"Uh." Hobbes said, not taking his eyes off his comic book.
"Gee, that little phrase built up the plot didn't it?" Calvin chuckled.
"Uh."
"I get a kick out of messing with the readers mind."
"Uh."
"Just shut up." Calvin growled, turning away.
Calvin checked the clock.
6:45 PM.
Hoo boy.
Four hours later, that turned to 10:45.
Duh.
When this time came, Mom and Dad decided to go to bed.
They climbed up the stairs, and walked into their bedrooms.
Dr Brainstorm watched them.
They walked into the room, and closed the door.
"Yes, yes!" Brainstorm yelled. "Now, all we have to do is wait for them to fall asleep!"
"Uh." Jack replied.
They waited for another two minutes.
Then, Brainstorm got bored, and decided just to move in now.
He landed the jet on the grass outside Calvin's house.
He peeked out, then climbed out of the pod, and instructed Jack to follow him.
He came to Calvin's door, and looked around.
"Jack, use your laser to unlock this lock!"
"I don't have a laser." Jack said. "The so called laser is a flashlight."
Brainstorm's eyes slammed shut.
"Fine. I'll do it."
Brainstorm took a real screwdriver, and started to take off the hinges on the door.
No kidding, it was a real screwdriver, not one of his goofball inventions.
He took the door off, then he and Jack tiptoed into the house.
Correction.
Brainstorm tiptoed inside. Jack walked in as casually as if he owned the place.
Brainstorm tiptoed up the stairs.
Jack walked up the stairs, making them creak.
Brainstorm reached the top floor, and crept for Mom and Dad's room.
Jack walked.
Brainstorm and Jack then stopped behind Mom and Dad's door.
"OK," he whispered, "When I give the signal, burst in there, and tie them up with your rope feature."
"I don't have a..."
"Forget it. I'll do it."
Dr Brainstorm took out a weird looking device, cut his eyes from side to side, and peeked into Mom and Dad's room.
They were snoring.
Jack crossed his arms, and leaned against the railing.
Dr Brainstorm looked around again, to make sure Danny Phantom wasn't going to suddenly appear and stop him, then tiptoed into Mom and Dad's room.
Jack yawned.
ZZIIIIIP! BOOM! ZAP! ZEEEP! CRASH! GIIISH! ZOOM! GGGGGH! SSSSSSSS!!!
Dr Brainstorm peeked out of the room.
"I tripped on some bunny slippers." He whispered. "Luckily, I put my sound-blockers on his parents, so they didn't wake up!"
Jack sighed, and shook his head.
Dr Brainstorm went back into the room.
He took out three feet of rope, and tied Mom and Dad up.
Would you believe that they slept through that?
Yes, they did.
Then, he gagged them.
They were already breathing through their noses, so they didn't notice that either.
Come on, who sleeps through that?
Then, Dr Brainstorm piled them onto his shoulders, and tiptoed out of the room, again.
Jack was waiting.
"Mission half accomplished, Jack!" He whispered. "Now come! We have plans to make!"
"Wow, his parents sure are heavy sleepers." Jack observed, ignoring Brainstorm.
"Right, I sprayed them with my sleeping maker thing. They will now sleep for three weeks!"
Jack raised his eyebrows.
Brainstorm blinked.
Then, he lowered his eyebrows, and muttered, "OK, one and a half days."
"That sounds better." Jack nodded.
And with that, Brainstorm and Jack walked down the stairs, and exited the house.
Brainstorm threw Calvin's parents in the jet, climbed in, and ordered Jack to do the same.
And with that, Brainstorm revved up the engine, and flew off into the night sky.
With Calvin's parents.
Uh oh.
Early the next morning, it was 6 AM.
And it was Wednesday.
That meant it was time for school.
Calvin and Hobbes were sound asleep.
Just below on the road, the bus pulled up.
Susie was there, and she got on.
She was kind of relieved that Calvin wasn't around.
Calvin didn't even know about the bus.
Neither did Hobbes.
They slept soundly for the next three hours.
Soon it was 9:39 AM, and they were just now getting up.
Calvin glanced at the clock.
"HOLY TOLEDO!" he shouted. "I'M THREE HOURS LATE FOR SCHOOL! I GOTTA GET UP!"
Hobbes stared at him.
"Hmm. Nice acting," he commented.
"You think so? Thanks. I've been practicing for this."
Calvin climbed out of bed.
"But in all seriousness, shall we see what's on TV?"
"Sure."
Calvin and Hobbes ran downstairs.
Calvin grabbed the TV guide.
"Let's see. According to this, the good shows don't come on until school lets out."
"Ouch," Hobbes said.
"Don't worry. We'll just do something about that."
Calvin ran up to his parents' room.
He didn't seem to notice that they weren't home.
Calvin found Dad's wallet, and pulled out a credit card.
Then he went to the phone.
"Hello? Video-Rama? Yes, I'd like to rent some movies and have them delivered here, please?"
Calvin and Hobbes sat back and watched ZOMBIE OF THE NIGHT IV.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
Calvin went to answer it.
A pizza boy was there.
"Ah, there's a good boy," Calvin said.
He handed the guy some cash, grabbed the pizza and slammed the door.
"Okay, one large pizza, half with anchovies!" Calvin shouted.
"Over here!" said Hobbes.
Calvin and Hobbes watched the movie and ate the pizza.
"How much longer do you think we can do this?" asked Hobbes.
"Until Mom and Dad come home."
"Which will be when?"
"When they always come home!"
Then Hobbes thought of something.
"Uh, Calvin? Does your mom have a job?"
"I don't think so."
"Then why isn't she here?"
"Maybe she's shopping for lady stuff. You know, makeup, lipstick, whips; that sort of thing."
When the movie was over, Calvin and Hobbes got out some cookies and ice cream and started to eat them.
Then they boogied all over Mom and Dad's bed.
Then they threw water balloons all over the house.
Then they took rides up and down the chimney.
They played with the whipped cream, watched the bad TV channels, and threw rotten eggs at Susie.
The day went on and on.
Soon, it was almost that time of the day when Dad would come home.
Calvin and Hobbes quickly cleaned up the mess.
Then they stood at the door.
"What do we do now?" asked Hobbes.
"We wait for Dad to walk in that door and suspect nothing," Calvin replied.
"Sounds nice."
They waited for a while.
Then a while became a long time.
Then a long time became kind of late.
Then kind of late became extremely late.
Then extremely late became "where heck are they?"
"Okay, it's been two hours, and Mom and Dad are still not here!" Calvin shouted.
"What do we do?" asked Hobbes.
"I dunno. What's there to do?"
Just then, the phone rang.
Calvin answered.
"Hello?" he asked.
All he could hear was heavy breathing over the phone.
"Eeee-whoooo, eeee-whoooo, eeee-whoooo, eeee-whoooo…"
Calvin stared at the phone in his hand.
"Uhhhh…whoever this is, I'm guessing you have bad asthma?" he guessed.
"Oh fine, if you don't want to do it the classic way, that's fine by me!" said an angry voice.
"Who is this?" asked Calvin.
"Don't you recognize my voice?"
"Ummmm…Aunt Margaret?"
"No! And I don't think I'll be going to one your family reunions anytime soon. It is I! DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!! HA, HA!"
"Oh, hi, Frank. What do you want?" asked Calvin.
"DR BRAINSTORM!!! And I've called to tell you that I have your parents in custody at Yellowstone National Park!"
Calvin gasped.
"YOU'VE WHAT?!?" he shouted.
"I said I have your—"
"I heard you the first time. Why do you have my parents?"
"Look, just get over here and take them home! I have a little surprise waiting for you here. Oh! And bring that robotic tiger too!"
"I'm not a robot!" Hobbes shouted into the phone.
"Okay, fine! Whatever! Just get down here!"
And the line went dead.
Calvin and Hobbes looked at each other.
"Man, how many times in this show are my parents getting into trouble?" he asked.
"Well, there was the camping episode, then there was the mountain episode…"
"Okay, okay, let's just rescue them."
Calvin and Hobbes ran upstairs and jumped into the box.
They took to the sky and set off for Yellowstone.
"Onward and upward!" said Calvin.
Dr Brainstorm walked out of his phone booth.
"Why does everyone call me Frank?" he demanded.
"Because that's your name," said Jack, who was reading a magazine.
Brainstorm scowled and looked in the cell.
"The sleep maker thing only has half a day left," he said. "They'd better hurry. I can't really be risking exposure."
"Just remember, you can't pin any of this on me," Jack said.
"HA! Just watch me!"
Calvin and Hobbes soared through the air towards Yellowstone.
It took an hour and a half to get there.
Then they landed the box and walked towards Old Faithful.
Once there, they found the opening to the secret lair and snuck in.
Calvin and Hobbes snuck through long corridors.
The whole place had an eerie glow to it.
"Th-th-there's nothing t-t-to b-be af-f-fraid of Hobb-bb-bbes-s-s," Calvin shivered.
"Who's scared? I'm not scared?" asked Hobbes.
Calvin glared.
"Hobbes, I order you to be scared just like me!" he commanded.
"What for?"
"So I don't feel like a scaredy cat."
"Okay, that's just a stereotype. Cats aren't all scaredy. Look at me, for instance!"
Just then, Jack appeared.
"Yo," he said.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hobbes screamed, and he vanished.
Calvin finally calmed down.
"Hey, Jack. How's it been?"
"Eh, could be worse," said Jack. "I suppose you're here for your parents."
"Yeah, where are they?"
"Well, they're in a cell just down the hall. They're still asleep due to one of Frank's inventions."
"Huh," said Calvin. "One of those moments when the invention actually works."
"Yeah. Come on. They're in the room over there."
Jack led Calvin down the hall to the main control room.
"Here we are," he said. "You're on your own from here."
"Thanks, Jack," said Calvin.
"Sure. And if anything happens to you, I can't be held responsible."
"Whatever."
Jack left, and Calvin entered.
He saw Mom and Dad sound asleep.
"Awww, that's so disgusting," he said sweetly.
"YOU!" shouted a voice.
Calvin turned around casually.
"Oh, hey, Frank."
"DR BRAINSTORM!!! WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST CALL ME THAT?!?"
"Well, where's the humor in that?" asked Calvin.
Brainstorm scowled.
Then he pulled out a tube and stuck it in Calvin's ear.
"Hey!"
Calvin desperately tried to remove the tube, but it would come out.
"SURPRISE!" said Dr Brainstorm excitedly. "THAT'S MY FEAR DETECTOR TUBE! It collects…scared feelings. I will take your fear and use it to power my fear-making machine."
Calvin stared at him.
"Uh……okay. How do I take it out?"
"Only my hands can take it out!" Brainstorm roared. "So it's stuck until I say it isn't!"
"Uh-huh, and how do you plan on collecting my fear?"
"By scaring you! The fear will go out your ear and into the tube! DON'T ASK HOW! It just does."
Calvin started to back away.
"How the heck are you supposed to scare me?"
"By showing you your worst fears!"
Suddenly, a chair popped out of the floor.
Then it clapped down on Calvin's wrists and ankles.
"HEY! HOBBES! HELP!"
But it was too late.
The lights dimmed. A screen came down.
A projector came down.
Jack sat down next to Calvin with movie popcorn and soda.
"I've seen this one. It's a classic," he whispered to Calvin.
Calvin glared at him.
Just then, a video appeared on the screen.
Moe was approaching a camera.
"HEY, TWINKY! SPARE CHANGE?"
"AAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed Calvin.
Suddenly, pink smog appeared in the fear detector tube.
Neat huh?
Then an alien from planet Zok appeared.
"Hi! My name is Alfred. I'm supposed to destroy the Earth Potentate. Do you feel lucky?"
"EEP!"
Miss Wormwood appeared.
"Calvin, where's that assignment I asked for?"
"ACK!"
Rosalyn appeared.
"You are so gonna die!"
"Yeee-IKES!"
A kids TV show.
"Hi! I'm Dora!"
"SAVE ME!"
A picture of eggplant casserole.
"GOOD LORD, YOU'RE A MAD MAN! MAD, I TELL YOU!"
Dr Brainstorm was laughing maniacally.
"HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!" he chuckled. "WHO CAN STOP ME NOW?!? HA, HA, HA, HA! WHO?!?"
Suddenly, they heard glass shattering.
KERASH!
Calvin, Brainstorm and Jack looked up.
Hobbes had smashed through a window and was now swinging down on a rope…
…straight towards Dr Brainstorm.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Hobbes shrieked.
Brainstorm stared at the tiger swinging straight towards him.
"Oh…boy," he muttered.
BLAM!
Hobbes knocked Brainstorm right onto his back.
Then he jumped off the rope and smashed Mom and Dad's cell right open.
BASH!
There was a moment of silence, in which Hobbes watched the stars and checkers circle his head.
Then he stood up, ran over and freed Calvin from the chair.
"Thanks, Hobbes," said Calvin. "Just one question: WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME?!?"
"Well, when Jack startled me, I had to go find a restroom," Hobbes replied.
"Oh. Okay, say no more. Just get this thing out of my ear."
"I'll handle that one," said Jack.
Jack grabbed the unconscious Brainstorm's hand, and put it up to the tube. Once the hand-activated tube was touched, it was easily removed from Calvin's ear.
The fear that was stored inside went back inside Calvin's head.
Thus rendering Brainstorm's device useless.
"Thanks, Jack. Now could you help us load my parents into the box?"
"Sure."
Calvin, Hobbes and Jack loaded the still-sleeping Mom and Dad in to the box.
"Now, according to my watch, you've got three hours to get them back in bed before they wake up. I highly doubt they're going to believe you anyway."
"Good point," agreed Calvin.
"Come on," said Hobbes. "Let's get the heck outta here."
Calvin and Hobbes said their goodbyes to Jack, and then they flew away.
Jack returned to the lab and saw Dr Brainstorm sound asleep on the ground.
He stared at him for a second.
"Nighty-night, Frank," muttered Jack, and he went to bed.
"ZZZZ-Dr-ZZZZ-Brainstorm-ZZZZ," Brainstorm muttered in his sleep.
Jack rolled his eyes and left the room.
Calvin and Hobbes landed in Mom and Dad's room a few hours later.
They immediately tossed them in bed, and then made a mad dash for their room.
Once they were out, Mom and Dad woke up.
"What th—?!" Dad gasped. "Where am I?"
Mom looked at the clock and gasped.
"How long were we asleep?" she asked.
They got up from bed and ran into Calvin's room.
Calvin and Hobbes had shoved the box back into the closet, got into their PJs and into bed, and were now faking sleep.
Mom and Dad looked at each other.
"Odd," said Dad.
"Never mind," said Mom. "Let's just get back to bed."
And they left.
Calvin opened one eye and peeked.
"We just saved their lives, and they'll probably never know," he whispered.
"Whatever," said Hobbes. "Let's just hit the hay. I'm exhausted."
"Fine," said Calvin.
And he dozed off.
But they knew now that they'd still not heard the last from Dr Frank Brainstorm.
The End
Voice Work:
Pamela Segall Adlon: Calvin
Tom Hanks: Hobbes
Ryan Stiles: Socrates
Bill Murray: Dad
Jennifer Love Hewitt: Mom
Dakota Fanning: Susie Derkins
EG Daily: Moe
Mary Jo Catlett: Miss Wormwood
Daveigh Chase: Rosalyn
Neil Crone: Dr Brainstorm
Michael Brandon: Jack
Colin Mochrie: Alfred the Alien
Coming up Next: Choas to my Ears!