a/n--- Thanks Mediate89 for all your help with this chapter. You did an awesome job of decorating hehe. Major thanks to all my reviewers for this last chapter. Also, if you guys havent did so already, add me to your author alert, I have a couple new stories that will be out soon that Im sure you guys will all love :D

Chapter 17

I laid back on the couch with my feet propped up on the table. I was miserable. I thought I'd had it bad before, but it was nothing compared to now. The baby was constantly pressing on my bladder, making me need to use the bathroom every twenty minutes. My chest was getting larger and much sorer, my joints were swollen, my back was killing me, and I really wanted some peanut butter.

Paul was out with the pack right now, doing his wolf thing. They were all in a frenzy this week because Quil had imprinted. Paul had been a bit put-off by the whole scenario, not only because Quil had imprinted on a two-year-old, but because it reminded him that the same thing could happen to him at any given moment. Quil made the third member of the pack to imprint and everyone was worried that it wasn't as rare as the legends claimed it to be.

I'd met two other members of Paul's pack, Seth and Leah at the latest bonfire gathering. Seth was sweet and welcomed me into the group with open arms, but Leah didn't seem to care much for anyone; especially Emily. I caught her glaring at Emily's growing belly when she thought no one was looking. Paul had told me the story of what had happened between them and although I loved Emily, I couldn't help but feel for Leah and worry if I would be going through the same thing if Paul imprinted. I didn't even want to imagine it.

Four members of the pack hadn't imprinted but Paul was still sure that he would someday. Whether he was just being pessimistic or he really thought it was going to happen, I didn't know but he was one of the few who seemed certain that fate was going to lead him in that direction, whereas the others, Embry and Jacob especially, were sure that imprinting wasn't written anywhere in their future. I tired to make sense of it all and sometimes I wondered if even they knew what they were talking about.

I sat my bag of chips on top of my stomach and started flipping through the channels, looking for something to watch. Of course there wasn't anything on in the middle of the afternoon. I sighed and tossed the bag of chips onto the coffee table so I could get up. It hurt to move. I was twenty-nine weeks pregnant already, according to the midwife and had eleven weeks to go before the baby was born. I was still opting to forgo all traditional doctor visits and Mrs. Wahall, the midwife was constantly reassuring me that routine sonograms weren't necessary in healthy pregnancies.

I stretched when I was finally able to ease myself off the couch and winced as the baby kicked my spine. The baby had been getting a lot stronger these past few weeks and Paul admitted that that was part of the reason he was sure it was a boy. According to him, no girl could kick that hard. Even after explaining to him what Mrs. Wahall told me – that I was carrying high and more often than not that meant the baby was female- he continued to refer to the baby as a "his son", brushing the midwife's revelation off as an old wives' tale.

I went into the kitchen and plundered around, looking for something new to eat. Paul would be out with the pack for awhile yet and I needed something to pass the time. I slammed the fridge door shut and frowned; nothing looked appealing. My parents were both at work so there was no one to go and get me what I really wanted—a jar of crunchy peanut butter and a bottle of strawberry syrup to mix into milk. I grabbed my cell off of the counter and dialed Paul's number, knowing that he probably didn't have his phone with him in the state he was in now. Sure enough, I was sent straight to his voicemail. I left him a quick message asking him to stop at the grocery store on his way home and flipped the phone shut.

I decided to spend some time in the baby's room to take my mind off of my cravings. The crib and the rest of the furniture were assembled; pale oak to match the pale yellow walls… now all I needed was the baby. Being in the nursery gave me mixed feelings. On the one hand, I couldn't wait to have the baby in here, lying in the crib, dressed in the little t-shirts and baby gowns and wearing the tiny diapers. But the idea of being a parent still scared me more than anything. I wasn't ready to be a mother. My parents and Paul's promised to help out as much as they could but even that guarantee couldn't ease my nerves completely. Paul seemed so much calmer about the situation. If he was nervous about being a dad, he didn't show it; he seemed to be getting more excited every day. He'd already bought and assembled a little bassinet to put in his bedroom and had boxes of diapers and bags of clothes stored in his closet.

After arranging a few things and making a mental note of everything else we still needed, I pulled the nursery door shut and padded back out to the living room. I lowered myself onto my favorite side of the couch and picked up the remote, hoping that after thirty minutes there would be something new to watch. I almost wished that school was still in session. I'd settle for anything, even homework if it meant escaping this mind-numbing boredom.

I was watching Friends when Paul walked in, looking beat. He got a quick drink from the kitchen and then made his way over to me. "You look rough, baby," I told him honestly. Paul shrugged and dropped down beside me.

"Long day. Sam's got us running longer and harder and Leah's getting on my nerves. I've about had it with her. I got into four fights this morning." I looked over what I could see of his body. Any wounds he had acquired were long healed. He groaned and draped his arms across the back of the couch. I bit my lip, deciding to speak up now before he got too comfortable.

"Baby?" I rested my hand on his thigh for good measure, making him twitch.

"Hmm?" His eyes were closed now and his head was thrown back, resting on top of the couch.

"Do you think you could run to the store for me quick?" Paul turned his head and looked at me skeptically. I put on my best pouty face and squeezed his leg a little.

"Please, baby," I begged. "I've been wanting peanut butter all day. I tried calling you while you were out but your phone was off. Please." Paul closed his eyes again and shook his head. I felt like crying. "Paul, please. I'm dying here."

"Have your parents pick some up for you," he mumbled lazily. I took one of his large, calloused hands and placed it over my stomach where the baby was rotating.

"But the baby wants some now." I heard him scoff and much to my dismay, he stayed frozen to the spot. "She needs food to grow, Paul. She wants her daddy to go get her some."

"She can grow on the leftovers from last night."

"Paul!"

"Sarah." He was looking at me now and he did not look amused. "Goddamn. I just got done running a twelve hour shift. I've been bit, I've been hit, and I've been snarled at by a girl. I'm not in the mood to do anything but sleep or have sex and I know the second part isn't happening."

I allowed my eyes to well with tears and I crossed my arms over my chest. I sat there sniffling for a few minutes before Paul sighed loudly and stretched his body. He scooted so that he was sitting on the edge of the couch with his hands folded out in front of him. I saw him look at me out of the corner of my eye but I didn't look back.

"Are you really going to cry over a damn jar of peanut butter?"

"I'm craving it because I'm pregnant with your baby, Paul. It's not my fault." I reached up to wipe my eyes and Paul rolled his own.

"Oh, so I suppose it's my fault." I nodded and sniffled again for effect. I could tell I starting to get somewhere. Paul stared at me for a few more seconds before leaning over to kiss me behind the ear.

"You know," he whispered, "there's something I've been craving too." I cringed. He meant sex. We hadn't been intimate for a few weeks now and I knew that he was getting frustrated. I noticed his showers were getting longer so I knew that he was trying to take care of himself but I also knew that Paul couldn't rely on self-satisfaction forever. I decided to compromise.

"I'll give you a blowjob if you run to the store." Paul frowned and backed away.

"Is that all I get?"

"I'm not really in the mood to do anything else."

"Well I'm not really in the mood to go to the store for you, Sarah. I'm fucking whipped."

"Fine." I flopped down across the cushions and pulled the throw over my head. Paul reached over and yanked it away from my face. I felt a weight being lifted as he stood up from the couch, stretching and groaning.

"You're such a baby." After a few heavy footfalls I heard the jingle of keys and opened one eye. Paul was getting ready to walk out the front door. As soon as he was halfway out I sat upright.

"Don't forget the strawberry syrup!" I called after him.

***

"Here's your damn peanut butter." Paul thrust the plastic grocery bag at me and I smiled with glee. I peeked inside; there was a bottle of strawberry syrup in there too.

"Thanks, baby." I leaned up to kiss him and then walked straight to the dishwasher to grab a spoon. I moaned with the first bite and had one third of the jar devoured in a matter of minutes. Paul was watching me with a mixture of curiosity and disgust but I didn't care; I had my peanut butter. After what had to be my tenth bite, Paul reached over and took the jar from me.

"Alright, my turn."

"Paul," I whined. "I wasn't finished!" In all honesty, I'd had about enough of JIF's crunchy creation but I needed to stall. I knew that Paul wasn't going to settle for only a blowjob; he was Paul—he was going to want to have sex and I was too fat and ugly to give it to him.

"Sarah, you promised, let's go." He took hold of my wrist and led me out of the kitchen. I huffed, but I knew better than to argue the matter anymore. Paul probably knew what I was doing. Usually when he wanted to do something I didn't want to do, I would argue with him until he would get fed up and drop the issue. Paul was making sure that that wasn't going to be the case this time.

Paul started shedding his clothes, which were really just his shorts, as soon as we got to my bedroom but I stayed fully clothed, sitting on the edge of the bed and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Come on, Sarah. You're not doing this with clothes on." He sat down beside me and pulled my hair down from its messy updo. He reached for the hem of my shirt next and slowly started to pull it up. I smacked his hand away.

"Stop! I don't want you to see me." Paul rolled his eyes and placed his hands on his lap.

"Damnit, Sarah."

"I don't want you remembering me like this." My eyes were starting to well again.

"Fine, I won't look. God." He shut his eyes but I made no move to undress myself. After a few minutes of stillness and silence Paul sighed impatiently. I made a face; I was really going to have to do this.

"Promise you'll keep them closed?" Paul nodded and I slowly started lifted my shirt over my head. As soon as my bra and cotton tee were tossed onto the floor, he opened his eyes and looked at my topless form. "Paul!" I shrieked, trying to cover my extended belly with my arms. Paul smirked and moved my arms away.

"You're beautiful," he murmured. He smoothed his warm hands over my stomach and leaned down to kiss the spot above my navel. "My baby's making you prettier than ever." He lifted his head and grinned. I smiled lamely in return, sure that he was just saying that so I would have sex with him.

"Can we get this over with?" I asked, moving to the head of the bed.

"You're not exactly setting the mood. You could at least pretend to want to sleep with me."

"This was your idea, not mine," I reminded him. Paul rolled his eyes and guided me into a lying position. He hovered over my body and began kissing me softly, kisses that I only returned halfheartedly. I reached down to help him get hard and he was ready almost immediately. "Let's go," I urged him. "And remember not to touch my breasts." Paul made a noise in the back of his throat and moved down to spread my legs. He entered me slowly a few seconds later, inhaling deeply and I knew that he was trying to savor the moment.

He suckled on my neck while he thrusted as best he could with my large stomach in the way but even that couldn't turn me on. I lied still against the pillows, making no effort to return any of his favors. "Come on, Sarah," he muttered breathlessly. "I might as well go beat off in the fucking bathroom."

"Just hurry up, Paul." He pumped a few more times, growling into my ear when he released. When he was finished he pulled out and flopped down beside me. I was already covering myself with the sheets, ready to go to sleep. I felt him prop himself up behind me and lean down so that I could feel his warm lips next to my ear.

"Next time," he kissed my temple, "I'm buying you the cheap shit."

***********

I sat down heavily at the Emily's kitchen table. We were having dinner with pack tonight. The guys were meeting more often because there were new threats in the area and Emily wanted a girl to talk to so she invited me to spend the day with her. I'd helped her work in the garden before everyone got here but there was only so much I could do before I had to sit back and watch her finish. She didn't mind and I made up for it by helping out with dinner.

I heard the front door slam and looked to see Embry flashing me a dazzling smile.

"Hey, Sarah." He reached me in two long strides and took a seat in the chair across from me. He was shirtless, like the wolf boys always were, and I tried not to stare at the perfectly toned and tanned body they all seemed to share as well. I couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Hey, Embry."

"How's my baby doing?" He grinned and reached out to place his hands over my large abdomen. I rolled my eyes.

"You'd better not let Paul hear you saying that." Embry shrugged and moved his hands to where the baby was shifting. "She's fine. Getting bigger… and stronger." As if on cue the baby kicked hard against Embry's palm, making him chuckle.

"That is so weird."

"She likes you."

Embry looked up at me and winked. "It's still not too late to leave Paul for me, y'know. I'm good with kids." I smacked his arm playfully.

"Get out of here." Embry laughed and went out back to go check on the grill. I was only alone for a few minutes before Paul walked in half naked from being in the woods, followed by Sam and Jared.

"Hey, honey." He walked over to me and leaned down to place a kiss on my cheek. "How are you doing?"

"No PDA's." I heard Jared complain.

"You're just jealous because Kim didn't want to come," Paul shot back. Jared pouted and stalked outside to see if the food was ready. Almost as soon as he walked out the door he came back in carrying a large plate piled high with burgers and hotdogs. Emily was at his heels carrying a second and Sam went out to grab the third. It was starting to rain so we had to try to fit all of the food onto the little table. Needless to say, most of us were eating in the living room.

Watching the guys eat was always a show. I'd lost count of how many hamburgers Paul had eaten after his ninth and Jared ate an entire platter of hotdogs by himself. Embry was eating the potato salad straight out of the bucket and Sam was finishing off the last half of the watermelon. I was full after my first piece of chicken and Emily only ate a few bites off of Sam's plate but the food still didn't last any longer than thirty minutes.

***

It was dark when we got back to Paul's house. I was beat and ready to sleep so we went straight to his bedroom, passing up his parents' offer to join them in watching Pearl Harbor. I shimmied out of my jeans and into a pair of sweatpants. Paul was already in only his boxers by the time I threw on one of his oversized t-shirts. We snuggled into bed and Paul reached over to switch off the bedside lamp, leaving one arm wrapped around me. I drifted off easily with Paul's warm body so close to mine.

***

I could tell that is was very early morning when Paul started shaking me awake.

"Get up, Sarah. Get up. Shit." The only thing I could comprehend in my sleep-ridden state was the fact that I was cold. It took a few seconds for me to realize that it was because I was no longer covered. Paul must have thrown the comforter off of me… but why? I rubbed my eyes and started to sit up, only half aware of Paul scurrying around the room.

"Paul, what are you--" I started to mumble sleepily, and then I looked down. The sheets were red. My pants were red. And I was wet. My heart started to pound and I looked at Paul with wide eyes.

"You're bleeding," he explained. "It's all over the bed." And it was all over Paul too. Part of his leg was streaked with blood and a corner of his shorts was darker gray.

"What's happening?" I gasped; tears were starting to form. Paul shook his head.

"I don't know, but we have to get you to the hospital. Here," he produced a clean pair of pants and a new shirt, "put these on. I'm going to go tell my mom what's going on." He ran to the door, grabbing a pair of jeans on the way. I couldn't move. I was sobbing hard now and scared out of my mind. What was happening? I placed a hand on my stomach, trying to feel the baby move inside of me but I wasn't met with a response.

Paul returned a short time later and hurried over to the bed.

"Sarah, come on, we've got to go. Get dressed."

"She's not moving, Paul. I can't feel her," I whispered through my tears. Paul took one of my hands in his and leaned down to give me a quick kiss.

"She's asleep. Now let's go." He grabbed the clean shirt and replaced my old one. After he helped me change my pants he lifted me off the bed and half carried me out of the house. We passed Mrs. Kimkirk on the way; she was on the phone, probably calling my parents. Paul didn't stop to say anything more to her in his rush to get me to the truck.

We were driving several miles over the speed limit but it was still dark out and there wasn't much traffic so there was no reason to take our time. It normally took about thirty minutes to get from La Push to Forks, but Paul got us there in just under fifteen. He parked the vehicle as close to the hospital doors as he could get and hurried around to unbuckle me.

"Has the baby moved yet?" He placed a hand on my stomach and I could see the worry in his eyes. I shook my head and reached up to wipe the tears off of my cheeks. His voice was shaking when he spoke again. "Let's go."

We were surrounded by hospital staff almost as soon as we walked through the double doors. One look at my very pregnant state and the blood that was still seeping down my legs and just about every nurse on call was paged. I was starting to feel dizzy as Paul gave them my information and was glad that he was supporting most of my weight. Everyone was trying to ask me questions but I couldn't answer them; all I could do was clutch Paul's arm and try to stay standing. Someone was sent to fetch a gurney but by that time I was losing my ability to focus and don't remember ever lying down before the world went black.

***

I awoke to a beeping sound and the hum of low voices. It took a second after I opened my eyes to remember where I was and my hand automatically traveled to my stomach. Someone must have registered my movement because I felt a hand on my arm a moment later. It was cold. It wasn't Paul.

"Paul." My voice was quiet and hoarse, like I hadn't spoken in days.

"Paul went down to the cafeteria." That was my mother's voice. "You've been out for almost two days, honey and he stayed with you the whole time. About twenty minutes ago the doctor told him to go take care of himself or he would ban visitors. That got him moving." She smiled weakly at the memory.

"The baby. What happened?" The baby was kicking again but that didn't mean that everything was alright.

"Sshh." My mom reached over to smooth the hair out of my face and kissed my forehead. "The baby's fine." She used the remote control to turn off the television; that must have been where the voices were coming from because I was the only other person in the room. "The doctor did a sonogram. You have placenta previa. It means that the placenta is lying lower than it should be and that's why you've been bleeding so much." My brow wrinkled. What did this mean?

Just then Paul walked in and hurried over to the bed. "Sarah." He looked awful, but he sounded relieved. I scooted over and he carefully took a seat beside me, not hesitating to wrap his arms around me in a warm embrace. "God, I'm so sorry. The doctor made me leave." He leaned down to kiss my cheek and his wonderful scent filled my nose. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "The baby's okay."

Paul smiled and placed his hand on my abdomen. "I know. I've been reading to him while you were asleep."

"My mom said I was out for almost two days." It was just me and Paul in the room now. My mom had left to go get the doctor.

"Yea," he said quietly, absentmindedly moving his hand back and forth across the thin fabric of my hospital gown. "You needed a transfusion. You lost a lot of blood. Something about the placenta lying too low—Sarah," he paused and looked down, "you don't have to do the homebirth if you don't want to. The doctor said it would be alright as long as the midwife was aware but if you don't feel safe with it then we can have the baby here, at the hospital. It won't make a difference to me."

I bit my lip. I hated hospitals and certainly didn't want to give birth in one; not after having my heart set on a homebirth, and I knew that it did make a difference to Paul. He didn't want the baby born here anymore than I did. But what if something went wrong? I was about to speak when the doctor walked in.

"How are you feeling, Miss Carter?" He sat down next to me with his clipboard in hand. He asked a few more questions and I answered him as best I could. After doing a quick examination he explained to me in detail what my mother had mentioned about my condition and assured me that a homebirth would be possible and safe as long as we took the necessary precautions. He acknowledged our feelings about having the baby born on the reservation and agreed to talk to our midwife about everything so that there wouldn't be any problems. As soon as the doctor was sure that we understood everything, he gave us permission to leave, making me promise to rest and take it easy until the baby was born. And I decided that was the only thing that really mattered—that the baby was going to be born.