an-- Here it is...what you've all been waiting for :D Hope you like it! Just want to say thanks for the reviews last chapter, sorry it took so long to update again, and thanks mediate89 for betaing this and doing a great job. And thanks to liljenrocks for just being...Jen :P remeber to review!!

Chapter 18

I held my stomach as I walked out of my bedroom and toward the kitchen; I wasn't sure if the skin over my stomach could stretch anymore. I was thirty-four weeks along now and more miserable than ever. I could barely even walk. When I finally reached my destination I found my mom sitting at the kitchen table going over bills. "This sucks," I told her, reaching into the cupboard to grab a box of Pop Tarts. She laughed and looked up from her pile of papers.

"You still have six weeks to go, sweetie." I rolled my eyes and sat down carefully in the chair beside her. "Is Paul coming for you or do I need to drop you off?" The parents had all talked and decided that they didn't want me to be home alone anymore. They were all worried that something would happen and I'd be alone and not be able to call. It was ridiculous.

"He's coming for me. We're just going to go back to bed." I started to get up, holding onto the table for support and my mom reached over to give me a hand but I swatted it away. I didn't like being helped up. "I'm hungry," I complained, eyeing the refrigerator.

"So fix yourself something," my mom suggested, bringing her attention back to her task. I sighed; I didn't want to cook, I wanted someone else to do it for me. I'd ask Paul.

"I'll wait, maybe Paul will fix something."

My mom shook her head and got up to grab her purse and put on her jacket. "Sarah, you're taking advantage of him. It's not right to abuse being pregnant the way you are." I could tell she was smiling as she gathered the bills and made sure she had her car keys. "Here he comes now," she muttered, glancing out the window. She walked over and gave me a kiss before heading out to the car. I retrieved my overnight bag from the couch and went outside a few minutes later.

Paul was already waiting in the driveway and was at my side taking my bag from me before I even had the front door shut and locked. I could tell he had been up for a while already. He was shirtless and filthy and looked utterly exhausted. He helped me to the truck and I eased my way into the passenger's seat in the same amount of time it took him to throw my bag in the back, get behind the wheel, and start the ignition. We were pulling out when I was hit with another wave of hunger. "Do you have any eggs or bacon at your house? I'm really hungry."

He shrugged. "Probably."

I reached over to rub my hand across his thigh. "Will you make some for me?"

Paul caught my hand and held it tightly in his. "I guess." He sighed theatrically and looked over to give me a teasing grin. I smiled back.

"Thanks, baby. My mom wouldn't do anything for me." I pouted. Paul rolled his eyes as he turned into the garage and cut the engine. "So what else are we going to do today?" I asked, fumbling with my seatbelt. Paul frowned.

"I might have to go back out later today."

"Oh."

Paul brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed it. "But I'll stay with you until they need me."

We were inside the house a few minutes later and Paul tossed my bag onto the floor. "Here," he said guiding me over to the couch, "you sit and I'll make your stuff." I gladly stretched out across the soft cushions as Paul walked off to the kitchen. I heard some banging and an occasional shit and twenty minutes later Paul was walking back in the living room with a plate of food in his hand, looking disgruntled.

"I didn't have bacon," he said, daring me to complain.

"That's okay, thanks." I took the spoon out of his hand and started shoveling down my eggs. They were a little rubbery, but they still tasted good. I wanted them too badly to care if they weren't perfect. Paul sat beside me, rubbing my stomach and talking to the baby while I ate. When I was finished he got up and stretched.

"I'm gonna go get shower." I nodded and he leaned over to give me a quick kiss on the lips before striding off to the bathroom. I decided to go lie down in his bed while I waited for him. My back had been hurting since the drive over and the couch was no longer as comfortable as I needed it to be. I walked past the guest bedroom on my way through the hallway and peered inside. Paul's parents had started getting everything ready for the birth. I was going to be having the baby here since my house wasn't technically on the reservation.

I settled myself into Paul's bed and breathed in the scent of his pillow-- cologne and cedar. It never ceased to calm me. I moved onto my side, trying to ease the tension in my back but the new position seemed to make it worse. I was still trying to get comfortable when Paul walked in with a towel around his waist.

"What's wrong?" He asked, noticing the scowl on my face.

"My back's cramping." Paul pulled on a pair of boxers and crawled in beside me. A second later I felt his large, warm hands gently kneading my back. I sighed with relief. "Thanks, baby."

Paul kissed the side of my face. "I don't mind. I know you don't feel well and I haven't been around much this week." The heat from his hands was quickly easing away my discomfort and I closed my eyes.

"It's okay," I mumbled sleepily. "I'm sorry I've been such a bitch lately."

Paul chuckled. "You're eight months pregnant, Sarah. I understand. Just don't think it's gonna keep up after you have the baby." I could hear the tease in his voice. "Now let's get some sleep while we still can." He wrapped his arms around me, resting his hands just below my stomach and I could hear his deep, steady breathing in a moment's time. I yawned and started to drift off myself, feeling my lower back jab again now that Paul wasn't rubbing it.

I hadn't been asleep long when I was woken by a loud howl ringing through the air. Paul was obviously in a deeper sleep than I had been because he didn't stir. I frowned, wondering if I should wake him or not. The howl sounded again, this time accompanied by another and I reached over to try to shake his massive body. "Get up, I think they're calling you." I nudged him again and he groaned.

"Are you okay alone?" He asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

I shrugged; I'd have to be okay alone. I couldn't call anyone to come sit with me or they'd ask where he went. "I'll be okay. Just go. Take your phone and strap it to your leg and I'll call if I need something." Paul nodded and leaned over to press his mouth against mine.

"Love you," he said quickly as he got out of the bed. I watched him strip off his boxers and walk over to the window.

"I know. I love you too."

After Paul left I rolled over into a little ball and held my stomach, feeling the baby kick around. She'd dropped a lot over the past couple of weeks but the midwife said it was normal. It was incredibly uncomfortable, though.

I laid in bed for awhile, unable to go back to sleep with the constant cramping and thought on my relationship with Paul. It was like we didn't even know we wouldn't be together forever. Paul openly showed and told me that he loved me and I wasn't so sure I could let him go anymore. I'd hated to see him leave a few minutes ago. It was the first I'd seen him in three days and I missed him. The desire to be near him had gotten stronger over the past few weeks.

I was starting to get thirsty so I rolled out of bed, holding onto the nightstand for support. As soon as I was standing a sharp pain shot through my abdomen and a gush of warm fluid splashed onto the carpet. I was unable to move for an indeterminable amount of time as I tried to process what had just happened. It wasn't until I felt the tears welling up in my eyes that I decided to call someone.

I tried to calm myself as I gingerly made my way into the kitchen and picked up the nearest telephone. I dialed Paul's number with a shaky hand but when he didn't answer I called my mom and told her what was happening. She was surprised to hear that my water had broken and I had to tell her that Paul got called away by Sam for a "work emergency" when she asked where he was. Since she couldn't get away from her own job yet, she advised me to call Mrs. Kimkirk.

Mrs. Kimkirk practically squealed with joy when I told her why I needed her. She promised that she was on her way and instructed me to call the midwife and let her know what was going on. Before I could dial the number another pain hit and I tried not to think about why my body was hurting. I took a deep breath after it had passed and called Mrs. Wahall. She answered after the first ring.

"My water broke," I told her feebly, not even bothering with introductions.

"How long ago?"

I thought on it. "About twenty minutes ago and I'm hurting all over." I heard a rustling of some papers and a thud on the other end of the line.

"I'll be there in a bit. Just try to stay calm and walk around as much as you can, okay? It's a little early but everything should be fine." I nodded, more for myself than for her and hung up the phone. I tried Paul again and when there was still no answer I called Emily and asked if she could get a hold of Sam. She told me she would try and that she would be over in a few minutes with any news on Paul. Everyone was called. The only thing I could do now was wait for everyone to arrive and since I was still having what I was sure were contractions, I decided to turn on the Tv in an attempt to take my mind off things.

I felt another contraction as soon as Mrs. Kimkirk walked through the door. "Sarah? Where are you?" She called out worriedly before she spotted me holding my back on the couch. I looked up at her, glad that someone was finally here.

"It hurts," I whined as the pain subsided. Mrs. Kimkirk sat down beside me and rubbed my back in understanding.

"We need to get you changed, okay? And moving around. Your labor will go a lot faster if you walk. Are you sure your water broke?"

I nodded. "It's all over the floor in Paul's room."

"Okay then, let's get you up." She stood in front of me and held out her hands so I could pull myself into a standing position. I hobbled down the hall, holding onto Mrs. Kimkirk's arm for support incase another contraction came. When we got to Paul's room I grabbed one of his t-shirts and wore it like a gown. It was large enough to comfortably cover my girth and long enough to hang past my knees. His scent was still fresh on it and I let it soothe me through the discomfort the way he would have done had he been there.

I walked up and down the hallway and around different parts of the house while Mrs. Kimkirk rushed around to get things ready for the impending birth. I was still trying not to think about what was happening because the idea of having a baby by the end of the night was too terrifying to imagine. "Ooww," I whined and held my back as another pain tightened my abdominal muscles. Mrs. Kimkirk walked over and put a hand on my shoulder.

"You still have awhile to go before it starts to get bad, honey. These ones are only about fifteen minutes apart. You need to start relaxing now so you'll be prepared for when they start to get worse, okay?" She rubbed her hand up and down my back and instructed me to breathe deeply and focus on working my way through each contraction.

It wasn't long before Emily arrived looking nervous and excited all at the same time. She found me standing by the bathroom door and wrapped her arms around me. "I can't believe you're having her already."

"It's too early, I'm not ready," I whispered so Mrs. Kimkirk wouldn't hear. I rested my head on Emily's shoulder and squeezed a few tears out of my eyes. "I'm scared, Emily."

"Aww, you'll be fine, honey. Once you see your beautiful baby nothing else will matter." She gave me what was supposed to be a reassuring smile but I couldn't help but wonder if she really knew what she was talking about. After being hit with a longer-lasting contraction I pulled away from Emily and whimpered.

"Where's Paul?"

Emily's expression softened. "I'm sorry. I tried calling him. I called Sam and Embry and Quil but they're all… running around." She shot a meaningful glance at Mrs. Kimkirk who was still fumbling around trying to get things ready.

"I don't know why the hell he left you," she called from the kitchen. "Have you tried calling him again?" We met her halfway across the living room and Emily tried to reason with her while I stood to the side feeling completely miserable.

"Yes but his phone's turned off. He should be home soon, though. Sam said it wouldn't take them very long."

"Damnit." Mrs. Kimkirk almost stamped her foot. "This is a really bullshit thing for him to do. He was supposed to stay with Sarah all day. He told me that's what he was going to do." She shook her head and stalked off to the guest bedroom to make sure the bed was clean and ready.

I walked around the house with Emily until Mrs. Wahall arrived. She asked me how I was feeling and asked where I was going to be giving birth at. Mrs. Kimkirk led her to the bedroom and showed her around. "Sarah, why don't you come sit on the bed for me. I'd like to examine you," the midwife instructed. I reluctantly agreed and watched as Mrs. Wahall pulled things out of her bag and laid them on a nearby table—blankets, an aspirator, scissors, clamps, gloves… I looked away. After a quick and uncomfortable examination Mrs. Wahall informed me that I was four centimeters dilated and progressing smoothly.

"It's early but I think it will be fine. There was confusion about the conception anyway, right? This baby might actually be right on time but I won't know until he or she is born." Her cool hands pressed on my stomach, and then she looked at her watch. "We still have a while to go." I winced as my abdominal muscles tightened and tried to relax my body the way I had been instructed. Mrs. Wahall looked up at me, her expression serious. "Remember Sarah, there's nothing I can give you here. You'll have to work with your body to get through this labor naturally." I nodded pitifully. "Where's Paul? She asked.

"He got called away on a work emergency," I mumbled. "He'll be back soon."

Mrs. Wahall raised her eyebrows. "Okay, well, I don't want you moving around too much. I don't want you to start losing blood the way you have been."

I stayed confined to the bed for the next six hours, whining and holding my stomach as the contractions got steadily worse. My mother sat by my side and tried to help ease me through some of the pain but the only person I really wanted with me was Paul. I couldn't understand why he wasn't back yet. Emily was in and out with her hand over her own baby bump, looking worried. I knew she was wondering if this was what she really wanted now that she knew how it went.

"Make it stop," I begged my mom who was wiping my forehead with a damp cloth.

"I wish I could honey, but you only have a few more centimeters to go. Just keep breathing and everything will be fine." I wiped the hot tears off of my cheeks. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't physically or mentally prepared to bring a baby into the world. Why couldn't Paul have used a damn condom? After a few more hours I didn't even want to stick with the birth plan anymore; I wanted drugs—anything to put an end to the torture, but Mrs. Wahall, Emily and the mothers continued to support and encourage me.

"Where's Paul?" I gasped after a particularly rough contraction. I squirmed, trying to relieve some of the pressure building below my waist and Emily reached out to place a hand on my tight stomach.

"I can't get a hold of him, Sarah. I keep trying but no one is answering their phones."

"It hurts so much," I whimpered, unable to stop sobbing long enough to take a deep breath. "I want him here. He needs to be here! I hate Paul. I hate Sam!" I rolled over and cried into the pillow. "I can't do this. I don't want to have a baby."

Mrs. Wahall hurried into the bedroom, sensing that I was close to hysterics as the pain became longer and stronger. She smoothed the wet hair out of my face and tried to calm me. "Sarah, honey, you need to relax. It needs to get worse before it can get better, so you--" I cut her off.

"No!"

I stayed huddled up at the head of the bed, ignoring them as they tried to soothe me and get me to do some of the pain management we'd planned. All I could think about was Paul and why he wasn't here to help me through this. After everything we'd been through, after all the time we'd spent talking and worrying about the baby, he wasn't even here to help me bring it into the world. I dug my nails into the sheets and continued to cry through the unbearable pain that was ravaging my body.

"Sarah, I think its time to start." I didn't know what time it was but the sky was dark when Mrs. Wahall came in and coaxed me into a semi-sitting position so she could examine me. I saw her reach for a pair of latex gloves and held my legs together. She sighed and looked at me sternly. "Come on Sarah, you need to be mature about this. You're going to have to start pushing soon and you can't do it with your legs closed."

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. "I can't." I dug my nails into my mom's hand and cried out as another powerful contraction hit just minutes after the last one. "I need Paul," I sobbed.

"Sarah, we can't wait for Paul. The baby's ready to come now, so let's try a few little pushes, okay? Just a few." I took a deep breath. "It'll help with the pain, sweetie." My mom adjusted the pillows behind me and I pushed with the next contraction as I was instructed, but instead of holding it for ten seconds I stopped at four and pushed Mrs. Wahall's hands off of me.

"Oww," I moaned. "I can't do it."

"Sarah," Mrs. Wahall sounded annoyed, "you can't be afraid to push--" but she was cut off by a commotion outside of the door and Paul came bursting into the room a few seconds later, still shirtless and looking panicked.

"Oh my god, Sarah. I am so sorry, baby." He was by my side in a flash, brushing the hair out of my eyes and covering me in kisses. "I shouldn't have left you, I'm so sorry." He took my trembling hand in his and I grasped it tightly, biting my bottom lip and groaning as another wave of pain washed over my body.

"Paul, I'm scared," I whispered. "It hurts so much."

He ran a hand through my hair and leaned down to kiss my forehead. "You'll be alright, honey. Just listen to the midwife and she'll tell you what to do."

My mother let herself out when she realized this was a moment I only wanted to share with Paul and Mrs. Wahall urged me to start pushing again. Pushing felt wrong and made my entire body hurt so I had to stop each time and both Paul and Mrs. Wahall were quickly losing patience.

"I can't do it, I can't," I sobbed into Paul's shoulder. He rubbed his hand up and down my arm.

"Yes you can. You can do it. You've just gotta try harder."

I screamed and fell back against the pillows. "I can't! Don't make me do it, please. Paul, don't make me."

After several more failed attempts at pushing Paul pulled his hand out of mine and stood up. "Sarah, all you're doing is dragging this out and it's not good for the baby." Mrs. Wahall shook her head. "If I'm just going to be a distraction then I'm going to leave." He started for the door.

"No!" I stretched my arm out as best I could. "Don't go. Please, I'll do it." I cried hard and clutched my stomach. Paul froze and turned to look at me.

"Are you going to push like you're supposed to?" I nodded quickly. "Okay." He stepped back over to me. "And stop crying, too. It's only making it worse." He climbed behind me so that I was sitting between his legs and wrapped his arms around my middle, letting his hands rest on my thighs. "Now just calm down," he cooed, rubbing his thumbs across my skin.

Mrs. Wahall gave him an appreciative nod and turned back to me "On the count of three. One, two, three," she chimed. I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed through clenched teeth. Paul was muttering words of encouragement as I pushed and pushed and pushed. I leaned into his chest and dug into his wrists as my nether regions started to burn.

"Ow, ow, ow!" I tried to close my legs but Paul was holding them firmly in place and I was too weak to fight against his grip. "Stop, make it stop," I whined. Despite my best efforts, I started to sob. I was at my breaking point—hot, tired and utterly miserable.

"You're okay, Sarah," Paul murmured into my ear. "You're almost done."

"Do you want to feel the head?" I shook my head at Mrs. Wahall but Paul reached lower and I felt his warm fingers fumbling around until he found what he was looking for.

"That's his head!" He almost squealed and I could tell he was grinning. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "You're doing so great, Sarah. Just a few more pushes and we can hold him."

After a few more minutes of pushing, thrashing and yelping through the most intense pain I'd ever felt in my life I felt the baby slip free and heard its tiny cry. Paul leaned over my shoulder to catch the first glimpse of the squealing infant. "It's a girl," he announced incredulously, and then he laughed. "Sarah, it's a girl!"

I was too focused on trying to take deep breaths to join Paul in his excitement at having a new daughter. As it was, I couldn't find anything exciting about the situation at all. My entire body was shaking with exhaustion and I felt like I was going to be sick. I barely registered Paul lowering me back into the pillows so he could move closer to the baby. Mrs. Wahall let him cut the umbilical cord and he watched intently as she cleaned the tiny body and wrapped it in a soft white blanket.

"Sarah, do you want to hold her?" Mrs. Wahall offered me the bundle when it was clear that I wasn't going to be asking for it and I feebly shook my head. All I wanted to do was sleep and find a way to ease away the ache in my body. Paul didn't hesitate to hold out his hands, though and I watched as he very carefully cradled the baby in his arms. He shuffled up to where I was sitting and positioned the baby so that I could see her face.

"Look at her," he said softly, a smile lighting up his face. "Look at how beautiful she is." I didn't see the beauty. She looked kind of squished and purple to me and her dark hair was wet and matted against her head but Paul was completely enamored.

We stayed in the bedroom for awhile, just the four of us while Mrs. Wahall got things cleaned up and put away. She weighed and measured the baby—5 pounds, eleven ounces and eighteen inches long—and made sure that the placenta was delivered safely. She checked me for bleeding and gave us a few tips on postnatal care but I didn't catch most of it in my daze. Paul was listening with rapt attention, though so I made a mental note to ask him about it later.

It wasn't long before everyone wanted to come in and see the newest member of the family. They gushed over how perfect and little she was and congratulated us on being new parents. Paul was beaming the entire time but I could barely keep my eyes open. Someone in the small crowd asked if we'd named her yet and Paul shot me a questioning glance, still holding tight to baby in his arms.

"Um," he sat down beside me and stared down at the baby, "Bridget? Bridget… Rose?" He looked to me for a response but I just shrugged. It was one of the names I'd suggested earlier in the pregnancy and if Paul liked it then it was fine with me. I didn't have the energy to put up much of a debate. "Bridget Rose Kimkirk," he stated proudly.

Everyone finally left, including Mrs. Wahall who was out speaking with my parents, leaving only me, Paul and the baby in the room. He was walking slowly around the bed, talking softly to the little bundle and I snuggled down into the blankets, glad to finally be able to get some much needed rest. I'd barely closed my eyes, however when I felt Paul's weight on the bed beside me.

"Honey, what's wrong? Why won't you hold the baby?" I kept my back to him and he continued. "You have to at least feed her, Sarah. Come on." I felt his hand on my shoulder and he turned me so that I was facing him. "Sit up."

"Paul, I'm tired," I whined.

"Mrs. Wahall said you have to try to nurse her. It'll make you feel better." I rolled my eyes and sat up as straight as I could. Paul gently handed me the baby and helped me bring her to my chest. My breasts were incredibly sore and it hurt to have her latch on but I knew I had to endure it or Paul would complain until I did.

"I think she looks kinda like me." Paul broke the momentary silence and I could hear the pride in his voice as he gazed down at the baby. "She's got my hair color." He ran one of his fingers through it; it looked a lot softer now that it was dry. "And my eyes and mouth, but she's got your little nose and ears." He looked up at me and smiled but I couldn't find it in me to smile back.

When the baby was finished I quickly handed her back to Paul. He leaned over to give me a kiss as soon as I laid back down. "I'll watch over her while you rest," he whispered. "You put yourself through a lot today. I'm so proud of you." I smiled weakly and pulled the blankets over my shoulders.

"Tell everyone not to wake me unless it's to feed her," I mumbled.

Paul ran a hand through my hair. "Okay." He leaned down to kiss me again. "I love you."

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