Thanks so much for all the positive feedback, and a special thanks to jlhumph! She keeps me going.
I think my favorite part was when Katniss said her mother had died in the mine accident, too, because I've been thinking about a way to write that for a long time and it's true. I'm pleased with how it turned out, but it only matters if you're pleased. I feel good about this story; I've put a lot of thought into it. It won't be AU and happy like Observations, which I'm struggling with, so these updates might take a bit longer because, despite my sarcastic personality and build of a linebacker, I am a generally happy person... Except for the next five days... :/ Personal, there. Lol. So, character death in this chapter, and again another cruel Capitol invention I... invented. Lol. Not something actually in the books, it's something I've also been thinking about for a while and finally got down. So, without further (insert fancy French words here) I give you chapter 2!
Warnings: My own inventions by Capitol, character death (not graphic but completely necessary), violent outbursts... Oh wait, that's me in the morning. Lol. Here you go lovies!
As soon as Peeta and Katniss had said goodbye to their families and were forced on the train that would take them to the Capitol, they were sperated. Peeta was taken to a stylist who stripped him down and rubbed pink scratchy stuff all over him. It burned.
Katniss was being stripped of all the hair on her body except her head. Actually, her stylists had been instructed not to touch her hair until the head stylist came in. Someone they kept calling Cinna.
She was laying on a metal table with something like a hospital gown draped over her. A few people were busying themselves in another corner of the room, but left her alone. Then a man came in, in black pants and a black shirt, the only trace of makeup being lightly-applied gold eyeliner. It kind of looked attractive.
"Hi," he said softly, coming toward her. Katniss sat up and pulled the gown tighter around her. He would probably made her take it off anyway. She tried to feel embarassed when the people before had stripped her, but they were so unlike people it was hard to feel anything.
"I'm your stylist, Cinna," he said, holding his hand out. Katniss shook it without a word. He stared at her for a moment, then pointed. "Who did your hair?" he asked. Katniss replied quietly, "My mother." It was a style her mother had worn herself when she lived in town. Katniss didn't favor it; she preferred her regular braid.
"She has talented hands," Cinna said, coming to stand behind her. He started pulling and poking at her, too, and Katniss knew it would be a long day.
XOXOXO
Peeta sat, stark naked, on a metal table like Katniss', waiting for Portia to come back in. Being naked in front of them didn't matter. They didn't even look like people.
He kept thinking about Katniss. Were they being mean to her? Was she crying? Had she killed anyone? Peeta didn't doubt she could kill someone. She'd have to now.
About three layers of skin had been exfoliated away from Peeta. His skin was a shiny red, and it tingled. They had washed and dried his hair, shaved him a bit, and he was now being dressed. They gave him a red shirt and dark red pants, and white socks.
They told him to wait for a moment and then a boy in a white vest and white pants led him to a great room with a couch and plush carpeting. Everyone else was already there; Katniss, in black pants and a white tank top, her hair flowing over her shoulders, was curled up on the couch eating something. Peeta tried to smile a bit and found that his blinking rate had increased about ten fold. He made his way over to the couch and sat down. Katniss didn't seem to notice.
"So, until dinner's ready," Haymitch, their only living victor from their district and also a legendary drunk, said, "we're going to watch some tapes from the past games so you have an idea of what you're up against." Katniss leaned back into the couch, pressing slightly into Peeta's arm. "What're we eating?" she asked quietly. Peeta looked at Haymicth expectantly. After coming where they had come from, was it too much to ask for a little food?
Haymitch shrugged and took a heavy pull from a bottle in his hand. He clicked a button on the remote and the TV in front of them flashed to life. Immediately, tributes running in circles at the bloodbath, people hiding in trees, fires, blizzards, vast deserts, and hideous wounds were shown. Katniss set the thing she was eating down on the coffee table in front of her and Peeta saw what it was; a cupcake.
There was a whole table of sweets against the far wall. Katniss had obviously been into it while waiting for Peeta. There were two empty glasses and a dent in a bowl of fruit that Peeta could see. Everyone was silent as they watched the tributes being murdered. Then the interviews that took place beforehand flashed across the screen. Most of the costumes were amazing, and the people looked pretty happy. Peeta couldn't picture Katniss up there, smiling at the Capitol.
Haymitch suddenly jumped up and yelled, "Food!" Everyone flinched except Katniss. She vaulted off the couch and toward the table. Peeta folllowed, and he made sure he got a seat directly across from her. Everyone started eating right away, and Peeta knew he would regret eating as fast as he did. He was used to District 12 food, not rich Capitol food, and felt like he was turning green. He thought Katniss looked a little sick, too, but she wouldn't stop eating.
Katniss pushed her plate aside and an Avox came to clear it. Katniss looked up to mumble, "Thank you," but she stopped dead, her mouth wide open. The Avox's eyes popped but she didn't say anything. She quickly took Katniss' plate and rushed away. Katniss stared after her. She only turned back around when Peeta nudged her under the table. He cocked an eyebrow but she shook her head, sighing and looking back to her plate. She stared for a moment and then pushed it away. A different Avox brought her a cup full of creamy brown liquid. It was steaming. She stared at it for a moment and then looked up. Cinna smiled at her, his eyes twinkling, and he said, "It's called hot chocolate. Try it."
Katniss tipped it up to her lips, as did Peeta, and then couldn't stop. She didn't set the mug down until it was empty, and then they brought her another cup. Katniss had to stop herself after this, because her stomach was really starting to ache.
Everyone sat back and was making small talk, and then a very scared looking Avox came in the room. This girl looked almost frightening; the contrast between her fire red hair, pulled tight in a bun, and her pale skin was startling. She quickly went to Katniss and, without meeting her eyes, placed two black roses on the table in front of her. She bowed quickly and then ran away. Everyone at the table stared open-mouthed at the roses, each of which had a tag tied to the stem. All the thorns had been removed.
"Katniss..." Peeta whispered in agony. Katniss blinked once, pursed her lips to the side, and picked up the flowers. The scent of the first one reached her nose, and she wrinkled it in disgust. It didn't smell like a flower. It smelled like death, which was what it represented.
The tag that hung from the stem spun lightly in a breeze that came from nowhere, and Katniss grabbed the tag. It said "Primrose Everdeen" in fancy script, and underneath said "Pneumonia." Katniss sat the flower down and reached for the other. It said, in the same fancy script, "Mrs. Everdeen", and underneath it said, "Starvation due to refusal to eat". Katniss threw this down and picked up Prim's flower. Prim was gone. Had the Capitol killed her? Probably. Would they own up to it? Never.
Katniss stared at the rose, letting the tag hang off it. Prim was so small. She couldn't fend for herself. She had probably swallowed a tapeworm, or starved to death. And her mother! 'Starvation due to refusal to eat'? What did that mean? Were they trying to say she was depressed and wouldn't eat anything? Whenever Katniss came home with a turkey, it was equally shared.
Effie set her fork down at dabbed at her mouth with a napkin. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but no sound came out. Katniss smiled a bit at the rose with Prim's tag hanging off it. She isn't suffering anymore, Katniss thought, she won't have to watch me die.
Katniss' head twitched a bit to the side. She chuckled down at the flower. Was this how they did it in the Capitol? A black flower made it better? A black flower says "I'm sorry"? A black flower puts food in her sister's stomach and brings her father back from the dead? Because that's all she needed! That's all it would've taken! That's all it would've taken for the world to be right, but having a family was too much to ask, wasn't it? Capitol people could have whatever they wanted! When someone died in the Capitol the whole world is supposed to grieve, but when someone from District 12 dies a black rose takes care of it?
"... doing well-" Katniss' head whipped up. She shook her head slightly and blinked really fast. "Sorry," she said, "I didn't hear you." Effie looked extremely startled, but repeated what she said. "Well, doing well in the Games could be your chance to get even." Katniss watched Effie for a moment, shredding her napkin in her hands, and said simply, "Even won't make my sister's heart beat."
Everyone drew their breath in and some stylist with purple hair stifled a sob, but just then an Avox brought a cake out from the kitchen area. No one said a word as he sat the cake on the table and reached out. A few moments later, a small flame flickered to life, spreading over the perfect icing. Soon the whole cake was on fire, and then in one second it all went out. Normally, someone probably would've clapped. Everyone was just staring at Katniss.
"Is it alcohol that makes it burn?" Katniss asked. Peeta didn't miss the glinting in her eyes when she said 'burn'. Cinna nodded meekly from his place at the other end of the table and mumbled, "Yes, but the alcohol burned off." Katniss nodded. Haymitch, obviously trying to lighten the mood, slapped his knee and yelled, "Darnit!" He bursted out in laughter and Katniss smiled at him, and everyone else tried to join in. The laughter was obviously fake, but everyone grabbed their forks and reached for a piece of cake. Except Peeta. Peeta was still watching Katniss to see if she'd cry, or throw something, or slit her throat with her butterknife. Anything. She didn't, though. She picked up her roses, nodded once at Effie, and stood up from the table. Peeta silently watched her go. Cinna buried his face in his hands. Effie sniffled and Haymitch took a long drink from his bottle. There was deafening silence and then a hideous shattering, and Peeta got up to follow Katniss.
By the flower petals scattered all over the floor, Peeta guessed that Katniss had thrown a potpourri bowl against the wall. The glss shards littered the shag carpet and Katniss was crouching near her closet. Peeta closed the door behind him and started to walk toward Katniss, but she stood up, ripped a framed mirror off the wall and threw it right past Peeta's head. He threw himself to the left and missed it, but Katniss didn't stop. She grabbed everything that was breakable near her and threw it at something else. Vases, picture frames, mirrors, anything. And then, when she had run out of things to throw, she walked right over to the wall and punched it. The wall broke and her arm went through, halfway up to her elbow. She pulled her arm back out, letting it fall to her side, and Peeta, from his place pressed against the far wall, saw that it was covered in drywall.
She balled her fists and ducked her head, and let out one long scream. Peeta counted ten seconds of raw screeching. She didn't stop or take a breath, and Peeta was sure she was trying to get Prim to hear it from her place in heaven.
Finally she stopped and fell to her knees, gasping. Peeta stared at her for a moment, feeling as though he were about to cry, and then whispered, "Katniss?" She didn't answer him. She only stood up and walked to her bed, sat on the edge, and then flopped backward. She reached upward for the roses, and held them to her chest. She was breathing heavily and her face screwed up in agony, but she didn't cry. She gasped up to Peeta, who was now leaning over her, "I'm sorry you had to see that." Peeta was at a loss for words. He didn't say anything.
Katniss pressed both of her hands to her forehead. Peeta's heart was ready to beat out of his chest. "She was so young," Katniss whispered. Peeta only watched her. "Her life hasn't even started yet," Katniss moaned. Peeta pressed his lips together. "She was my baby," Katniss moaned, and she rolled over on her side. "It's okay to cry," Peeta whispered brokenheartedly. Peeta threw himself down on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, and she started sobbing into his chest. It pained him to know that their first hug was because her mother and sister were dead. "She was just a baby," Katniss sobbed. Peeta held her tighter and allowed himself a few tears.
Peeta's shirt soon became soaked, but he didn't care. This was the first time he'd ever seen her cry. Everything in her past she'd ever had a reason to cry about, every time her stomach hurt with hungry, every time a kid picked on her because she was from the Seam, every time she'd had to stare at her shell of a mother came flooding out now. She screamed and kicked so hard that Peeta had to wrap his legs around hers and squeeze until she stopped. He held her against him and scooted further up. He pulled the covers back and shoved her under them, and then went under with her. She was still crying, but it wasn't loud anymore. It was the kind of crying that made a lump swell in your throat, the kind of tears that slowly made their way down your face for everyone to see, the kind that proves that you know what pain is.
Katniss wrapped her arms around Peeta's neck and e felt like something was wrong. Well, wronger than what had already happened. Katniss suddenly pushed away from Peeta and sat up and frowned down at him. Her eyes were red and swollen and she was still gasping. She crossed her arms and warned, "If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying I'll rip your throat out with my teeth." Peeta shook his head and sat up next to her. She nodded, satisfied, and stared straight ahead. Eventually Katniss heaved a sigh and said, "Why did you come in here?" Peeta only looked back, as if saying, You're the only one in Panem who doesn't know I love you. You know that, right? She kept going. She said, "Weren't you afraid I would kill you? Weren't you afraid for your life?"
Peeta shook his head sullenly. "I was afraid for your life," he said. Katniss raised an eyebrow and snorted. "You thought I would try to kill myself?" Peeta shrugged again. Katniss gathered her hair in a ponytail at the nape of her neck, but she didn't have a hair tie so she just let it go. She pursed her lips. "I'm in no rush to die. I'm not ready to go to hell yet." Peeta laugehd a bit at this. "Why would you go there?"
Katniss smiled back and replied, "I've apparently done something wrong." She cast another distatsteful look at the roses, which had fallen on the floor. She got out of the bed and Peeta's face fell, but he stayed where he was. "Whatcha doin' now?" Peeta asked conversationally. Katniss went into a small room attatched to her bedroom and Peeta heard running water. "Showering," she replied morosely.
Peeta squeezed his eyes shut and fell back on the bed. Did she know what she had just done to him? He closed his eyes and waited for a moment, then looked up.
Katniss had left the door open.
His eyes widened when he saw her clothes in a heap on the floor. His breathing sped up when his eyes travelled higher and he saw Katniss' perfect body through the blurred glass door on the shower. He could only see her outline, but that was enough. At first he felt guilty for peeping, especially when she was hurting so badly, but he wasn't hurting anyone, right? He had dreamed about what she had looked like, he had prayed for this moment. He wasn't a bad person. He didn't hurt people. This would be okay. Just for a second. Right?
Wrong. It was not for a second. Apparently, figuring out the shower controls was complicated and Katniss struggled with it for a long time, which meant squealing and hopping around. At one point, when the water ran cold for five minutes, Peeta buried his head under the covers. When he looked up again, Haymitch was leaning in the doorway. Peeta jumped and pulled his knees up to his chest, embarrassed, but Haymitch smiled knowingly at him. He motioned for Peeta to go out there with him. Peeta was working on slowly sliding out of the bed, but he made a mistake and looked over at Katniss. She apparently dropped something and was now squatting down to pick it up, giving Peeta a lovely, blurry, side-profile of her entire body. Peeta stared for a moment, one glorious moment, then clapped his hands over his eyes and stumbled blindly to the door until Haymitch started laughing. They were in the same kind of kitchen except most of the lights were out. Effie was in the next room over, touching up her lipstick before bed.
Haymitch drank something from a brown bottle. "So, you're a little peeper, aren't you?" Haymitch said, smirking. Peeta's face burned red as even Effie turned around to give him a look. Peeta mumbled, "She didn't shut the door." Haymitch laughed loudly and Peeta turned back around, hoping Katniss hadn't heard. "And you couldn't shut it?" Haymitch asked incredulously. Peeta sighed in exasperation and threw his hands up. "Would you have shut the door, Haymitch?" Peeta growled. Haymitch scrutinized him for a moment, then gave a low, long whistle. "No, sir," Haymitch said. "She is somethin' else." Peeta nodded in agreement.
"I just wanted to know," Haymitch said, "what happened in there. How much stuff did she break?" Peeta shrugged and said, a bit offended, "I think she was entitled." Haymitch nodded. "Tell her that tomorrow we have a bunch of interview training, and the day after we'll get to the Capitol, so get rested up. Okay?" Peeta nodded, and Haymitch pointed over his shoulder. "Better get back in there." Haymitch shoved something in Peeta's hand and pushed him back into the room just as Katniss emerged in her pajamas. Cruel shorts and a tank top. She looked at Peeta like he had four heads. He looked down to the thing in his hand and sputtered.
Haymitch had given him a bottle of wine. There was a cork in the top, and it had obviously been chilled. He shook his head, trying to deny what Haymitch had done, but Katniss held a hand up and pulled the covers back from the bed. Peeta turned to leave, as she was obviously getting ready for bed, but she said quietly, "You can sleep here. I want you to. I don't want to be alone."
His eyes popped wide. He stuttered, "Are you sure?" She nodded and slid into the bed, and Peeta bolted from the room. Dropping the bottle in Haymitch's lap, he charged into his room and flung open the dresser. He grabbed the nicest pajamas he could find, and he even brought a new pair of boxers, and Haymitch leaned in the doorway. "What's your deal?" he asked, taking a swig from the wine bottle. Peeta yelled frantically, "She said I could sleep in her room- in her bed!" He threw a T-shirt over his shoulder and slammed the dresser shut, running past Haymitch. He stopped when Haymitch started laughing at him. "Do you want Effie to get your makeup ready?" Peeta glared at him and lowered his voice to a deadly whisper. "Do you know how many times I've wished for this? I just saw her in the shower," he hissed, gesturing wildly to Katniss' room, "and now she wants me to sleep with her! Do you know what that means?" Haymitch shook his head, amused. Peeta continued scathingly, "It means that I have to be perfect! If I make her hate me, she'll hate me!" Haymitch laughed again and clapped him on the shoulder. "Calm down, you'll be fine. Make it count- you might die in a few days." He winked at Peeta and went back to his room where all the booze were.
Peeta went back in Katniss' room and went in the bathroom to quickly change. He made sure his hair was ruffled just right, he brushed his teeth, put on deodorant, and even thought about cologne, but didn't want it to look like he was trying too hard... whic, of course, he was.
He brushed his teeth one more time and then emerged into her room. She was on her side, whispering to herself. Peeta heard, "I miss you, Prim. You too Mommy. Tell Daddy I said hi. Goodnight." She sniffed and then turned around to face Peeta, who was standing there in a green T-shirt and shorts. He went around to the other side of the bed, pulled back the covers, and slid in before he lost his nerve. His leg immediately brushed against Katniss' bare thigh, and it took everything he had not to groan. Katniss wiped a tear off her cheek and smiled at him. "I'm not so sad," she said, snuggling into the covers, "nobody can hurt them anymore, and Prim and Mommy can be with Daddy." Peeta smiled back at her, laying flat on his back. He thought about curling up on his side, facing away from Katniss, when she, too, on her back, touched her head to Peeta's shoulder. It wasn't resting on his shoulder or anything, but they were touching. And would be. For eight hours.
Just before Peeta fell asleep, he felt Katniss slip her ankle over his and turning slightly into him. He moved his arm like he was going to put it around her, but decided not to. One step at a time, he thought.
Well, I hope that pleased. I just hated how Prim died in the end so... I killed her sooner. Does that make sense? I kinda thought that it would be good that she wouldn't have to watch Katniss in the Games, so... Yeah. Lol. Well, I am going to bed. And Peeta is there. Well, a poster of Peeta is on the ceiling, but... One step at a time...
Review loves!
~Paige