Knowing

Henry wouldn't speak but small forced sentences to her.

"Yes. No. I don't know. Not right now." The last in regards to if he wanted to go get some ice cream. He never refused a chance to get ice cream with her. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Guess there's a first time for everything.

Neal on the other hand was getting along with him swimmingly. It was as if Henry, Gold and that pompous ass were rebuilding a family in that damn apartment. Well, Neal still wasn't exactly being friendly to his father, but still.

Fucking Neal. Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't Gold's son have been some poor guy who had been searching for his dad just as bad as he had been searching for his son? Nope, Emma's life didn't work that way. Emma's life was a freaking train wreck. She felt tears pricking the backs of her eyes and grabbed her coat, making her way quickly to the door.

A hand on her arm stopped her. Neal's hand.

"You okay? Where you goin'?" She cursed at the flicker of concern she caught behind his dark eyes. How dare he have any concern for her now. He didn't seem to care when she was locked up all those years ago.

"I'm fine, just need some air." She cast a fleeting glance at Henry, her eyes slipping closed with a shuddering breath.

"He'll come around Em, give him time."

"You don't know a thing about him!" she snapped with a snarl, "Don't you dare think you know him after one lousy day!"

Emma fled the apartment with a slam and didn't stop until she was a few blocks away, stuffing herself in some alleyway. She pressed her back against the roughness of the brick laden wall and buried her head in her hands, letting the tears of pain and frustration all come out at once. With a cry she spun and kicked at a can in the street sending it clattering down the walkway. She just wanted to go back home. She couldn't even say she wanted things to go back to normal, because what the fuck was normal anymore? She was living in a world filled with fictional characters and it seemed that by the minute they were weaving their way into her family tree.

Holidays were going to be a real treat.

Emma strolled the streets of the busy city; she wished she could say she was window shopping but she found herself watching the passing families more. She had a family now. Snow, David and Henry…god forbid Gold in some twisted way. She didn't want to keep Neal from Henry's life, she had no intentions of that after seeing how angry he got. She just wanted to keep him out of hers. That part of her journey was done, that ship had sailed long ago.

It was near dusk when she made her way back to Neal's building; tightening her jacket around her as the air grew chilly. She walked into the foyer and noted the tall looming figure pressing someone against the wall. Long leather coat nearing the floor, dark hair, the light catching the glint in the earring that dangled in his ear…Oh no. That could only mean the man beneath him was either Gold…or Neal.

"Hook?" Emma breathed.

Hook's head snapped around, blue eyes going wide before they softened apologetically. "Swan."

She closed the distance between them and jerked him away from the man, ignoring his protests of pain when she shoved him aside. Gold was lying there with a hand over the hole in his chest, blood seeping through his shirt. She took a glance to the bloodied hook that the pirate was now wiping off on his sleeve while he kept his eyes on her.

"You're going to be okay?" She whispered to him before turning on Hook.

"The bloody hell he is," Hook muttered before she slammed him against the wall.

"What were you thinking?! Do you know what they can do to you here! This place…this place is different, Hook, you won't just get a slap on the wrist."

Hook grabbed her arm and spun her around, pinning her to the wall, keeping her there by placing the curved end of his hook along her collar bone. "What I was thinking, Swan, is that it was time to finish this bloody thing! And here you are to save the day." Hook leaned in, bringing his face dangerously close to hers and dropping his voice, "But you know what, Emma, in the end, you can't save everyone, not him, and especially not me."

"We need him, Hook. He's the only chance we have against Cora, you know that!"

The sound of someone coming down the stairs had them both in a standoff.

"You need to go, hide. They can't find you here." Emma pleaded, pushing her free hand against his chest. "Hook, go."

He shook his head. "No. A coward I am not, Emma. Leave you to take the fall?" he snorted, "Not very gentlemanly, is it?"

"Kil-"

"Emma! What the hell is going on down here?" Neal's body came around the corner, his eyes narrowed on the pirate still holding her to the wall.

"Oh my god, Hook?"

"Bae…son," Gold's raged voice called from the ground.

"What have you done?!" Neal whispered rushing over to his father and placing his hand over the wound.

"You knew this day would come, Bealfire. I wasn't discreet in my plans all those years ago. I'm truly sorry you had to witness it however." Hook released his hold on Emma and placed a hand on Neal's shoulder.

Neal stood quickly and grabbed him by the coat and slammed into the wall, "You son of a bitch! He's still my father!"

"And he still murdered your mother!"

"You never said you were going to kill him!" Neal argued with another slam to the wall.

Oh this was growing more and more fucked up as the day grew. "Neal stop! Let him go."

Neal's eyes flickered over to Emma's and Hook took the moment to drop Neal to the ground and press his hook to the hallow of his throat.

"What part of skin didn't you understand, boy? Have you forgotten who I am."

Neal's chest was heaving as the pirate straddled him, his brown eyes wide and his skin a significant shade paler than it had been seconds before.

"Hook," Emma drew out warningly. He ignored her call and pressed the hook into his flesh until a bead of blood pebbled on his flesh.

"KILLIAN STOP!"

Hook froze, the air refusing to find way to his lungs as he fell to the side of the man beneath him and shuffled over to the wall. His head fell back against the concrete, his eyes unable to tear away from her. She was helping the former lost boy to his feet and assisting him in getting the crocodile to the stairs. When they were gone she came back and crouched down in front of him.

"I'm assuming you sailed here, on your ship?"

He had no words for her now; no snarky reply dared cross his lips. Hook simply nodded.

"Alone? No Cora? I really need to trust you right now?" Hook closed his eyes and blew out a pained breath. Not for his injured ribs, but for ache that was tugging on his soul. That's all I've ever wanted, love.

Again he nodded.

"Good. You're taking us home. All of us. I understand you probably don't want Gold on your ship, but if he dies the chances are we all do. Cora needs to be put down, and that can't be done without Gold's help. Understand?"

He stared at her, unblinking. She really wanted that thing to ride along with him on his ship, for him to put his revenge on hold simply because she asked him of it. He had been waiting three hundred years for this moment, so why hadn't he already denied her request.

Simple. She had said his name, his true name, the name of a man long dead. But when the word fell from her lips time had frozen. Hearing it made his blood churn with a wanton need to be whole again, he thought what it might be like to hear it accompanied with a moan in a moment of passion.

"Hook, do you understand?" she repeated.

He sighed, such a thought would most likely only occur in a dream. Especially after the current events. He nodded in agreement, shocked by the smile he received.

"Good." Emma reached out her hand to help him up. He held on a little longer than necessary upon standing, his mouth twitching up into a small smile. "Come, I'll get you some ice for your ribs, they must be sore. Then we'll be on our way."

.

Nobody had said much of anything to one another even after they boarded the Jolly Roger. Hook led them down below deck and pointed out what had previously been the crew's quarters. Neal helped Emma with getting Gold into the closet room and lying him down onto one of the beds.

"You can stay here," he said gruffly, "plenty of room for each to have his own, although I imagine Swan will want to stay with her boy."

"I'll take my own room, thanks," Henry said quietly, brushing past them all and into one of the rooms slamming the door behind him. If Emma hiding Neal's existence wasn't a big enough blow, her defending Hook after he had threatened his father and went after Gold didn't help either. Emma shot a pained look at the door and made to go after him.

"Em-" Neal dropped a hand on her shoulder and held her back.

She roughly shrugged him off, "Don't, don't you dare," she huffed, blinking away the threatening tears. She gave the door in front of her a remorseful glance before she turned and began to hurry away to the upper decks. She felt the Hook snag around her elbow and she pivoted to see him looking down at her with questioning eyes. With her head hung low she placed a hand on his arm and gently removed the hook, shaking her head with a sigh, her fingertips brushing away the tear that had crept down the side of her face. With that she left, not wanting to be in the presence of any of them, trapped inside that corridor of guilt.

"It was you," Hook voiced with a quiet realization after her footsteps dissipated. "I don't know what exactly you've done to her, but she's broken inside. It'll take someone willing to fight to break down that barrier you helped construct, but it will fall, and when it does she'll let him in piece by piece until she's whole again. He won't be worthy, but he'll be willing, and that is much more than you can say." Hook took a step closer and dragged his hook down the wood grain beside Neal's head, "Now I suggest you tend to that lousy excuse of a man that you call your father for the night and stay out of my sight."

Hook went to make his leave when Neal's voice stopped him on the steps.

"Why did you agree to bring us back?"

"She asked me to," Hook replied softly, turning his head back to the boy he once knew.

Neal gave the pirate a dark chuckle, "The fearsome Captain Hook, persuaded by a pretty blonde. I guess some things never change."

Hook closed his eyes, not bothering to face the petulant man standing on his ship. His voice dark and hardly above a whisper, "If I were you I'd be grateful for the blood that runs in your veins, your heritage and Emma's request is the only thing keeping me from sticking you where you stand. It'd do you good to remember it."

Emma sat upon a crate not far from the bow, watching as the ship pushed through the water gently. Fresh tear marks were trailed down her cheeks and had left little splatters of dampness on her shirt, but she was past the point of caring. Henry still wasn't speaking to her, Neal was still trying to form some type of reconciliation and Hook had went and shut up as well. Maybe that last was for the best, she didn't need his suggestive attitude right now. She shivered in the cool sea breeze and sniffed as the last bit of tears found their ways over her cheeks.

"You're rightly bound to catch a cold out here, darling," she heard the smoothness of his voice before she felt the blanket being draped over her shoulders. "Might I join you?" She refused to look at him; the last thing she wanted him to see was her weakness. Emma nodded, pulling the blanket in tighter around her. They sat in silence, the warmth of his thigh pressing against hers on the small space of the crate. Hook leaned back and let his head rest on the railing, looking up to the stars.

"Tell me about him, love." It wasn't a question, nor was he demanding, he just genuinely wanted to know, and was hoping she was trusting enough to let him in just a bit.

"Hook," she shifted to look at him and his head lulled to the side, gentle blue eyes meeting her sad ones.

"I know it was him, Emma, your love. What did he do?" He sat up and turned so they faced each other, "The Emma Swan I met is a fighter, she doesn't spend her time pining over the hearts of men." He lifted his hand and traced the tear trail on her rosy cheek with his thumb. "Surely the man to bring her to tears isn't worthy of them."

Her lips were pursed to keep them from trembling and the new tears that had begun to build were now seeping out and he was quick to wipe the first wave away.

"He…he…" she shook her head and covered her face with her hands as the memories flooded her mind.

Hook scooted closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulder and was surprised when she collapsed into his chest, her arms easily slipping around his middle. He ran his hand from her head down to her back, over and over, whispering soothing murmurs into her hair.

"Shh, s'all right, love, I've got you…I've got you, shh." He held his broken Swan until the tears had stopped, rocking her on that crate until he thought she had all but fallen asleep in his arms. But then her arms moved. she didn't exactly let go, she just moved them from his back to rest on his chest. Hook's lips gave a twitching smile at the motion, but he didn't dare speak. He didn't want to ruin this moment.

"He abandoned me," she whispered suddenly. "Left me so I would get sent to prison, was forced to have my kid in there and then give him up. I wasn't ready to be a mother, maybe I'm still not. Henry won't even speak to me."

"Emma, look at me," she pushed back and he tilted her chin up with the curve of his hook, brushing her hair from her face. "You wanted nothing but to get back to him when we ventured up that beanstalk. You left me there because you thought I might stray your chances, and don't think I didn't hear you tell that other one to chop it down if we didn't make it in time. If that doesn't sound like a mother that loves her son, I don't know what does. He'll come around, love, just give him time."

"I told him his father was dead, Hook. I lied to him! He compared me to Regina for Christ's sake! He might as well have ripped my heart out."

Hook breathed a laugh, shaking his head at her as he ran his thumb down her cheek. "He's a boy, Emma. Boys say hurtful things when upset, this much I know. Henry loves you; he'd be a fool not to." His smile faltered and he let his hand fall from her face and into his lap.

Emma's breath caught in her throat at his small admission, not missing the sadness that pooled in his ocean colored eyes. He'd been rather attentive to her lately, and overly submissive. Something caused him to change his demeanor, but she was sure he'd be back before long. She'd go back to not being able to stand in the same space as him without arguing or drawing a sword. Yet when he held her moments ago she had felt so safe.

"Why did you come, Hook?"

"You know very well why I came, lass. Didn't expect a family reunion, to be honest." He chided with a raised brow.

"Then why did you give in to me so easily? Why not finish it?" she challenged.

He sighed and turned his head up to the stars with a voiced sigh, "Emma-"

"Right, I see. Get me to spill the beans but when I ask you a simple question…nothing." She held up her hands in a shrug and let them fall to her legs in a slap, pushing herself up and walking away from him.

Hook ran his hand through his hair and groaned, shoving himself off the crate and storming after her. "You said my name!" he yelled, pointing a finger at her. When she turned her mouth was hanging open and her brow furrowed in confusion. "You said my bloody name, Swan," he strode up to her until their toes were almost touching and bent his head so it was even with hers, "that's why."

Emma shook her head, "I don't understand."

"Milah. When he took her heart, ripped it out in front of me and she fell into my arms, I died that day, Emma; Killian Jones was no more. Only the blood thirsty vengeful Hook remained."

"Hook-"

He silenced her with a finger to the lips. "But you, you worked your way under my bloody skin, and when I heard my name coming from your mouth…I knew,"

His nose brushed hers before their foreheads touched and he pressed against her with an almost painful look on his face. His hand resting on her hip while his hook rested around her back and her hands settled on his chest.

"Knew what?" she whispered, pulling back so she could get a proper look at him. His eyes blinked in succession and his mouth fell open, making small sounds but never forming complete words.

"Killian-"

He pressed his lips to hers; shuddering when she gave a small mew into his mouth and her fingers flitted over the scruff on his cheek and worked their way into his hair. He went to release her only to have her lips be the ones claiming his now her hands tugging him closer and her tongue sliding in over his. It sent a fire throughout his body like nothing other he had ever experienced before, something he never wanted to let go of. He wondered if she had felt it to; this spark. She was leading them backward and he had tumbled into a seating position on a barrel, her hands cradling his face. She broke the kiss, gliding her thumb across the scar on his cheek.

"I knew that you were always meant to say it," he said softly with a shy smile.

Emma gave him a sly smile, leaning in and brushing her lips against the shell of his ear, "Killian," she whispered, planting a kiss to his neck. She sat up and pressed a kiss to his forehead, her lips muttering against his skin, "Killian." She moved on to each cheek dragging her lips slowly across the stubble before uttering his name softly. His eyes were closed and his chest was moving in a steady rise and fall.

"Emma," he groaned, a hand gripping her waist and his hook in the loop of her jeans.

She smirked, holding down his arms when her lips finally landed on his and she hummed gladly into him. Her tongue darted out to give him just a taste before she pulled away slightly. "Goodnight, Killian," she grinned against his lips.

She straightened to walk away and upon turning his hook snagged another loop.

"Oi! Wait just a moment, Swan!"

She took a step and found herself face down on the deck, his hook tearing through the material with ease when she wiggled.

"Damnit, Hook! You ripped my pants!"

He was by her side quickly to extend a hand in helping her up with a smirk, "The way you were carrying on that wasn't all that was going to be ripped."

Emma groaned and slid her hand into his, his arms sliding down to her lower back in an embrace once she was standing. "Now where were we?"

Hook dipped his head and she stopped him with an open hand to his lips.

"I can't. Not like this," she shook her head, "I shouldn't have even-"

"Stop," he cut her off with a firm even tone. "I'm not him, Emma. I'm not going anywhere, love and I can wait. I'd fight for you; I'll always fight for you." He released her, taking hold of her hand and with a bow he pressed his lips to her knuckles. "Goodnight, fair princess."

Emma's mouth pulled upward into a grin as he made way to the bow. His hand splayed out along the rail and hook secured along his back, his coat fluttering in the breeze, his silhouette a sight to see in the moonlight. There was more to him than a dreaded pirate Captain, at the moment he sure as hell didn't look dreaded, he looked, dare she say…majestic. He was just as jaded as she, if not more so.

"In the end, you can't save everyone, not him, and especially not me."

But she was going to save Gold, wasn't she? And she wasn't going to give up on that blasted pirate either. After all, he had said he'd fight for her, why couldn't she fight for him as well? She'd had a taste of Killian jones and she sure as hell wasn't just going to let him sink away into nothingness.

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A/N: You ever want to lose a lifetime...go visit the captain swan tag over on tumblr. It's inescapable. Killy got some lovin' now can I?