Cut into two parts since each part had a different song
A/N: Arya is NOT dead. The song I used in Chapter 2 was…interesting. When (Arya is dead) come up, the words are barely audible to the ear if you listen to the song. (The original lyrics are: Alice is dead) The words represent suggestions that are given to Eragon as he sees the visions woven by the king. They were supposed to dishearten Eragon from living in reality and turn to the fantasy that the king offered in exchange for his loyalty. I thought it was a good touch, but looking back, it is misleading. I'll edit that out.
Thank you for the reviews! They really keep me going!
Disclaimer, I don't own the Inheritance Cycle or 'Last Resort' by Papa Roach
Chapter 3: Despair (Part 2)
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
It hurt. Those two words summed up his existence now. Pain was with him when he lay still, and flared up when his body gave a twitch. For the moment, he lay naked on the floor, caked with dried blood and dirt.
Suffocation
No breathing
Originally, there was nothing in the cell to sense. No longer. The stench of blood and burned flesh filled the tiny room. Judging by the potency of the smell, the Rider knew he had just come back from a 'friendly chat'.
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Pain was always with him, so he only could gauge the passing of time by the intervals by smell. Blood and burnt flesh are easy to notice, even to a half-delirious prisoner.
This is my last resort
He laid there, his mind slowly turning. What could he do now? The spell didn't work since the king was still alive, but there had been no news from the outside world. What happened that delayed news of a battle, or a siege?
Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort
Perhaps it was already over. He would probably get the news when they knew it could break him.
Suffocation
No breathing
But why bother torturing him anyways? The king had made no attempts to read his mind or asked any questions. Eragon knew that the king didn't want his loyalty. He could twist Eragon's mind into undying loyalty. Why bother wasting time?
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding?
Was he just sadistic or did he want revenge for injuring him? He leaned towards the former. The king had more than enough energy to heal any wound dealt to him. So why?
Would it be wrong?
Would it be right?
His mind wandered back towards his last spell. Maybe it upset the wards and magic surrounding the king? That could explain the delay of news. The king would not take on the Varden and the elves if he thought there was a remote chance of them winning.
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Well, it didn't matter now. His part was done now; all he could do now is wait. The torture would continue until he was nothing more but a living skeleton.
Mutilation out of sight
And I'm contemplating suicide
But wasn't that the point? He knew, from the moment he allowed himself to be captured, that he was going to die. The only question was if it would be a quick one or a long drawn out one.
'Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
He suddenly laughed, or tried too. His windpipe had been squeezed shut. He could barely breathe, let alone laugh. The best he could do was let out a choked out breath.
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
He tried to raise his head, but fell back down immediately. The blood loss, lack of food and water, and his half-mad mind caused the room to spin, even when he laid still.
I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late
And I was empty within
Mad? Was he mad? Well he had just happily walked into a deathtrap without bait. That showed that he had some bouts of insanity. Or maybe just cocky? Well he did always stumble into trouble at least twice a week.
Hungry
Feeding on chaos
And living in sin
Though lately he hadn't bothered to try to stay out trouble. He just accepted it as it came. Maybe he was just tired of his life. After all, he had to live up to legends.
Downward spiral where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself
And no love for another
He was just a boy, and a farm boy at that! He wasn't even that powerful! Even an elf child could match him in terms of raw magic. Besides, there were others to stand in for him.
Searching to find a love up on a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils
His first choice would be Arya, since she already had a close relationship with Saphira. She was a highly skilled warrior and magician and far more powerful than him. She had the necessary traits of a Rider. She would take his place for the war maybe even replace him permanently. He would be forgotten and that would be fine by him.
'Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me in fine
She was perfect for the role. He sighed, content for the moment. He gave a tiny smile. Wouldn't she be proud of him? He had given up his love for her and acted logically in a highly stressfully situation!
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright
He was finally the Rider that she wanted him to be! That everyone wanted him to be! Oh joy! He was a true Rider! His smile grew until it seemed to split his face in half.
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
Tears ran down his face. Tears of joy? No, tears at the harshness of reality. Tears at the sight of the end. Just a little longer until he could relax forever.
I can't go on
li-ving this way
He slept, lost in delirium and despair
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
He awoke, still lost in the maze of his shattering mind. He had one last option left. A little act of rebellion that would cause the king to scream.
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Oh it would hurt. And it would be slow, very slow, but it would end everything.
Would it be wrong?
Would it be right?
Was it running away? Or a final 'fuck you' to the king? Probably both, and no doubt everyone would condemn his choice. He didn't care. The opinions of the living mean nothing to the dead
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Yes, it was a very tempting idea. There was no way to escape, and he would not be rescued. He knew that the Varden would cut their losses. There was no need to leave anyone with false hope.
Mutilation out of sight
And I'm contemplating suicide
But he might escape. Maybe he was more important than he thought. Maybe, just maybe, he would be rescued.
'Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
But that was a maybe. Killing himself was easier, especially since he knew that he had no one to fight for, or rather, his death will help the people he loved.
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
The darkness offered no answer. He stared into the blackness, reflecting. He opened his mouth, ready to bite into himself. If he kept the cuts open he would die of blood loss.
Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
"Stay your hand."
Eragon choked out a laugh. Tears fell from his eyes as he asked, "Why?" He laughed again. Now he knew he was insane. Hearing voices was a major sign of insanity.
"They're coming for you"
"Of course they are, the king isn't going to stop any time soon."
"She is looking for you. She will do anything to find you."
"Nice try, but I know better"
I can't go on living this way
Can't go on
Living this way
Nothing's alright
"Humor me. Wait a little longer."
A/N: Chapter 2 edited
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