Chapter 20
Disclaimer: You get the idea.
Xiu Soi clutched at the sheets as she struggled to breath through the pain and fire that was enveloping throughout her body. Sweat washed over her as she ground her teeth in order to withstand the lead that seemed to have placed itself on her chest.
"Can't…breath…" she managed to gasp as Da Qiao clutched her hand while Xiao Qiao fanned her furiously, Sun Shang Xiang throwing the windows open to let the wind in.
"Hang in there, Soi…" Shang Xiang managed to say through a constricted throat. She went to the girl's bedside and wiped her face with a white cloth tenderly. "Feel better…?"
"W-Water…" Soi croaked.
Lu Xun held leaned on the doorframe, as if the wood would share some of its strength to him. The woman he loved was writhing and tossing on the silken sheets, as if she was being tortured right before his eyes.
"Zhou Yu, what's wrong with Soi? Everything will be alright, right?" Xiao Qiao frantically waved the fan at Soi, her eyes looking at her husband, pleading for a silver lining through the dark clouds.
Zhou Yu swallowed audibly, his eyes curiously bright. "The…The doctors told me that they can't find the source of her pain…they can't do anything for her. The medicines they gave her won't even work."
"No…" Da shook her head as she held on Soi's hand tight. It's been a week since Ce came home stumbling one night with a limp Xiu Soi in his arms. Before anyone could say anything, Ce barked some orders and in moments, her old room was ready and she was dressed in a white, silken nightgown. Yet her fever became worse. Seeing the girl in pain, the Wu officers forgot their anger at her in that moment and focused on taking care of her. They summoned the best doctors in the land, yet with each passing moment, her sickness just exacerbated.
Da Qiao held a cup filled with clear cold water and lifted Soi's head gently. "Soi…? Here…it's water. Drink up…slowly…slowly…"
Soi lifted clammy, trembling hand to Da's hand and slowly drank, as if the most subtle movements brought her body extreme pain.
"What the doctors found out" Zhou Yu continued, his voice unnaturally steady "is that whatever was ailing Lady Soi was aggravated by the fact that her body has suffered extreme stress, pain and fatigue. Based from the information we gathered, she… rode her horse to exhaustion, making the journey from Shu to Wu in such a short amount of time; an amount of time that was only possible if…if one would make the journey without stopping for food or sleep. The horse she was with…died yesterday."
"Don't!" Shang Xiang screamed. "Don't say another word Zhou Yu!"
"My lady—"
"No…" Soi gasped and whispered, "No fighting…please…"
"Oh, I'm sorry Soi" Shang Xiang's voice was barely audible, the princess trying desperately to keep her emotions in check.
"Soi...?" Da leaned over to her, wiping a fresh cloth on her sweaty forehead. "Do you need anything else…? You haven't eaten your soup."
"Tired…"
Sun Ce, who was leaning on a corner all this time, gave her a light scolding, "Oh, come on sis. Eat up. You need your strength for the upcoming party I'm going to hold."
"Ce…"
He walked to her, his hands folded across his arms. "Yeah, yeah, short notice I know. Well, you always pull through right? You're gonna pull through this time too and there's no way to get out of the program, you hear me? No way out!" Ce felt his voice rising yet he couldn't help it. The regret and frustration inside him was just too great.
Quan's hand rested on his shoulder. "Brother…Let her rest. Soi needs all the energy she can get so she could fight this unknown illness."
Sun Ce whispered brokenly, "I know."
Lu Meng knocked on the door. "My Lord Sun Ce…Zhang He and Zhen Ji of Wei would like an audience with you."
The occupant's of the room turned to Lu Meng with varying reactions. Da held Soi's hand protectively over her chest while Shang Xiang stood up menacingly. Lu Xun tensed as if bracing for battle while Zhou Yu's eyes turned cold. Quan gripped his brother's shoulder tighter while Sun Ce's jaw tightened. Xiao Qiao bounced up to Lu Meng and haughtily challenged him. "We are not giving Soi back to Wei!"
Zhang He coolly stood his ground along with a glaring Zhen Ji as Sun Ce eyed them coldly along with the rest of the Wu officers, with the exception of Da Qiao who was still attending to Soi.
"What do you want now?" the sovereign asked, irritated.
Zhang He smirked and held out his arms. "Is that anyway to treat your guests?"
"Let me remind you General Zhang He" Lu Meng coldly replied. "That the relation between our forces are hostile and if you did not come here to defect, you are certainly no guest of ours"
"Lu Meng" Zhou Yu warned; Zhang He shrugged and sighed. "Really, why did Lady Soi choose this bunch of ungrateful savages over us?"
"She didn't have taste" Zhen Ji sneered which made Xiao Qiao want to scratch her eyes out.
"Careful Zhen Ji" Shang Xiang maliciously glared. "You're not in Wei."
"Enough" Zhou Yu announced in a clipped tone. "What is the purpose of your visit?"
Zhang He looked at him, his expression carefully blank. "We came to aid Lady Soi."
Gan Ning scoffed; Ling Tong raised a challenging eyebrow. "Yeah right. What kind of 'aid' are we talking about here?"
"Although I am one of the loyal generals of Wei, I cannot simply sit and be quiet while you mistreat the Falling Star for deeds that she did not commit. Zhen and I came to 'clarify' a few issues on her behalf.
Sun Ce gave them a bitter smile. "No thanks. We don't need another sabotage on our relationship with Soi. Wu now knows where it stands and it belongs to Lady Xiu Soi's side, protecting her. Whatever it is, we don't care anymore and we won't fall for whatever scheme you cooked up this time. We have every intention to reinvestigate to capture the bastard behind it all. Soi's the most important thing right now and we won't give her to you, not unless you're willing to go through all of us to get her."
Wu's Little Conqueror looked at the general in the eye and quietly gave his ultimatum. "I'm afraid you just wasted your time. Good journey to you." As Ce turned his back on the general, Zhen Ji called out to him:
"It was all a set up to incriminate Lady Soi."
Sun Ce froze and slowly turned to Zhen Ji, the latter looking at him with a matter-of-fact attitude. "Sima Yi couldn't accept that he was being bested in every way so he wanted to destroy her. I was one he assigned to spy on her. I found all her weaknesses, including her childish infatuations and supplied them to Sima Yi."
Seeing as she got their attention, she continued "The morning the Xiu Soi exposed her greatest weakness, Sima Yi devised a plan to annihilate her both mentally and emotionally. I stole Zhou Yu's head band from his tent and planted the porcelain jar inside. We knew that the Falling Star wouldn't be able to resist wishing him luck and go inside the tent. But if she didn't, we'd find other ways."
Sun Ce racked his brain at this information. "Then, that time when Sima Yi told me he wanted to discuss the positions of Wu's units—"
"Was all a ruse so he could lead you to the tents and see Lady Xiu Soi come out of Zhou Yu's unoccupied tent."
Rage boiled inside Sun Ce at the thought of being used against Soi. What made it worse was that he fell for it.
He barely heard Zhou Yu's cold voice, who took the matters in his own hands: "How do you explain the man inside Lady Xiu Soi's room?"
Zhang He answered. "Xiahou Dun. He's the only one among us who has the same length of hair as you do."
"Xiao Qiao's set up?" Zhou Yu bitterly threw out, his cool demeanor leaving him.
"One of the maids was ours." Zhen Ji shrugged. "Sima Yi made sure that she had access to the Falling Star's food even after the tester tasted it. She was the one assigned to feed Lady Xiu Soi. She placed a concoction on Xiu Soi's tea and made it appear that she'd been poisoned. The army doctor who came to check up on her was ours as well. Sima Yi gave him instructions to diagnose the Falling Star with poison and to tell her that the antidote could only be found at this particular place. An ambush was then set up for Xiao Qiao."
"But, how did you know that Lady Xiao Qiao would be the one to fall for the bait?" Lu Meng asked in disbelief.
"We observed the shifts that you were taking and Xiao Qiao always came at a particular time and she was always left out of meetings. We held an impromptu meeting amongst the three forces so Xiao Qiao would be alone with the Falling Star. Then the maid slips in the 'poison' and as Sima Yi expected, she took the bait."
Xiao Qiao glared at her with rage and tears in her eyes. "You…You set us up?" she screamed and it took both Gan Ning and Ling Tong to restrain her from pouncing on the bitch.
"Not me, but Sima" she answered coldly. "An ambush was prepared by Diao Chan, in the guise of the Lady Xiu Soi. She wore a hood at that time and the leader of the bandits got a glimpse of her complexion and strands of her hair. She made sure she and Xiu Soi bore a semblance even without showing her face."
"Diao Chan? Lu Bu's wife?" Zhou Yu prodded and Zhen Ji gave a curt nod.
"She was angry at the Falling Star for Lu Bu's downfall."
The occupants in the rooms, save for Zhen Ji and Zhang He, couldn't believe their ears.
Huang Gai growled, hatred in his voice. "That damn Cao Cao!"
"No" Zhang He stepped in. "Lord Cao Cao knew nothing of this and is still ignorant. Sima Yi forbade us to tell him. The last thing Lord Cao Cao needs is for the Lady Xiu Soi to get crushed. He needs her whole."
Lu Xun closed his eyes. Soi was innocent…she was innocent… he didn't trust himself to talk nor think of anything else, for fear that it might finally break the damn he carefully built around his tears.
"Why are you telling us then?" for the first time, Zhou Yu's voice broke and bitterness flooded his tone.
Zhang He gave an equally bitter smile. "The Lady Soi and I…formed a kind of friendship. A bond. And as friends, I couldn't bear to see her hurt anymore. Did you know that during the time she spent in Wei, she thought of nothing else but you? She said she left because she was causing trouble for you guys, what with the tension and all. She always sighed and even if she never showed it to me, I knew she was devastated…I knew that she cried every night."
Silence filled the room and Zhang He smiled satisfactorily and turned to his companion. "Zhen, tell them why you're helping Lady Soi"
Zhen Ji scoffed. "I dislike the fact that I owe her for saving my life. This is to even the score. But you should keep this meeting a secret from Sima Yi."
"Yes. If he found out you knew his scheme, not only he'll have our heads but also plot your demise."
"We're not afraid." Zhou Yu answered quietly.
Zhang He shrugged. "Very well, but keep quiet just the same. We came here as Lady Soi's friends, not as generals of Wei. But come tomorrow, we're enemies again."
"Now if there is nothing else, we'll be leaving. We already said our piece." Zhen turned to walk away and stopped in her tracks as Sun Ce sincerely gave a "Thank you…"
"Would you…" Quan cleared his throat. "Would you like to visit the lady?"
Zhang He smiled and shook his head. "I'm afraid we cannot as of the moment. If we delayed our return any further, dear Sima Yi would get suspicious. Good night." He turned with a flourish and strode out of the room, following Zhen Ji.
"I think" Taishi Ci filled the silence that followed, "that he restrained himself for fear that if he saw Lady Soi in that state, he'd never want to leave her side."
Sun Ce sank beside Soi's bed and held her limp hand to his forehead with Da Qiao running a comforting hand on his shoulder while she desperately fought the tears that threatened to spill. The rest of the Wu faction politely gave him the space he needed and left the room, their hearts all broken.
"Sis …I need to tell you something…"
She turned her head to him and smiled weakly. "What is it bro…? You need me to think for you…?"
He let out a bitter laugh and Da bit her lip.
"Actually…I wasn't thinking. It's not exactly my strong point you know"
"You finally admitted it."
"Yeah, well this will be the first and last time" He grinned. "Sis…I've been stupid."
"I know" came the weak response.
He smirked. "You're not gonna make this easy are you?"
"I'm milking it for all its worth." She smiled and Ce knew that he was forgiven. No words were needed; it was all in their eyes. The apologies, the forgiveness, the bond…he was still her brother as she is his sister.
Soi suddenly burst in a fit of violent coughs and hastily covered her mouth. Da was instantly at her side, patting her back while Ce watched helplessly. As soon as it passed, Soi lifted her hand from her mouth and paled as she saw fresh blood.
"Soi!" Ce shouted and Da was immobilized. Soi looked at them and tried to smile. "I-I'm fine…I just…need sleep…"
"No" Sun Ce started for the door. "Doctor. Now."
"There is nothing the doctors could do."
Sun Ce spun around and saw an old man inside the room. Da gasped and Sun Ce was instantly standing between Soi and him, tonfas drawn and ready for battle.
"What the hell-- Who the hell are you?"
Da clutched Soi to her protectively, glaring at the newcomer like a cat protecting her newborn kitten.
Zuo Ci stayed where he was, his expression sorrowful. "I am…a friend of the lady.". He looked at fragile Soi and continued, "in order to save you from Yu Ji's spell, she invoked the amulet's power…yet it came at a high price."
"Zu—Zuo Ci…" Soi smiled weakly, her eyes barely opening. The old man passed a wary Sun Ce and knelt beside Soi. He placed his hand on her forehead and smiled softly. "I am here, child…"
Soi sighed contentedly and fell into a deep, peaceful slumber.
Ce looked at him, expecting him to continue. He looked at the young sovereign gravely. "The price she paid was the spell to be transferred to her. She knew this yet still she didn't think twice."
"W-What did that bastard cast?"
By the look on the old man's face, Ce knew that it wasn't good.
"It was a curse. The bearer would have a slow and painful death."
Lu Xun slipped inside Soi's room, the candles burning brightly. He swallowed audibly and forced himself to take the steps leading to Soi's bed. Ever since the dire revelation, Lu Xun felt nothing but a soothing numbness and held on to it; for he knew that the pain that would come next would be unbearable. He knelt beside the sleeping Soi and brushed her hair from her face. Her skin shimmered with sweat by the candlelight and was pasty pale, and her breathing was shallow.
Lu Xun steeled himself and whispered, "Hey…"
Soi's eyes fluttered open and seeing Lu Xun, flashed that special smile she reserved just for him…one that he sorely missed.
"Cotton Candy boy…you finally came…"
"I'm sorry I took so long."
"It's alright…I'm happy we're talking again."
He smiled tenderly at her, his love showing in his eyes. "Me too…although I was afraid at first."
"Why…?"
"I…can't bear the fact that I've hurt you."
"Xunnie…" she swallowed and licked her parched lips, breaking the silence. "Could you…could you get the mp3 player from my bag…?"
Lu Xun obliged, he retrieved the mp3 player. Soi asked him to place one earpiece on her ear and another on his. She asked him to switch through the songs until she finally found what she was looking for.
"T-The last thing we did together was listen to a song…I enjoyed it."
Lu Xun looked at him and replied sincerely. "Me too…"
Guitar strumming filled the air, and Lu Xin belatedly realized that he won't be able to understand the song. But, as long as Soi was happy…
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
"Cotton candy boy…?"
"Yeah, Soi?"
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
"I'm sorry" she whispered.
Just one chance
Just one breath
"Soi…what are you talking about?"
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
Soi lifted her eyes to him sincerely.
You know
Lu Xun looked at her, gently puzzled.
You know
Tears fell from Soi's eyes. She smiled at him sadly. "For hurting you."
That I love you
He looked at her stunned. His vision started to blur. "Soi…"
I have loved you all along
Before Lu Xun could speak, Soi silenced him. "Please…let me talk"
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
"I know I've hurt you countless times Xunnie, and I'm sorry."
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
"The moment you looked at me with hate in your eyes, I can't bear it. When you walked away from me, I felt the world crash around me…" tears flowed freely, and she held his hand tight.
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
She closed her eyes from the painful memory and gave a sorrowful sigh. "When I think that I'll never see you again, that you'll always hate the sound of my name…I felt like dying."
"Soi…" he tenderly held her cheek comfortingly.
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
"I was willing to do anything...anything for you to forgive me. So…please forgive me…and hold my hand again"
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
He clutched her hand in his, his strength penetrating her senses. "I already have Soi…I can never stay angry at you." His voice cracked and a tear rolled down his cheek.
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
"I tried my best…my fastest…to come home to Wu…to come home to you."
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
She looked at his eyes.
You know,
He looked down at her, his throat constricted.
You know
"I lived…I survived…because I wanted to see you desperately again"
That I love you
"…You're the reason"
I have loved you all along
"And to make amends…to set things right…more than your hate, there is one more thing I can't bear…"
And I miss you
"And that's the thought of me hurting you…"
From far away for far too long
"For not seeing you…I missed you all this time…I never had the guts to come home and confront you again…"
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
"For being so insensitive and blind…"
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
"But it's all going to change…I promise…So don't leave me again please"
So far away
"I missed you, Cotton Candy boy…so much…"
Been far away for far too long
"I'm sorry for leaving you alone…it took me so long…"
So far away
"So long to realize what my heart wanted…those who are truly important to me…"
Been far away for far too long
"I'm sorry for being away for so long…I'm sorry"
But you know
"Soi" Lu Xun whispered desperately, the tears flowing freely.
You know
She looked up at him
You know
"You don't have to"
I wanted
"I should be the one who should apologize" he croaked. "I doubted you innocence…"
I wanted you to stay
"But I never hated you Soi, I never did…how can I when you've been so wonderful?" he felt his mind leave him, and let his heart talk instead. He didn't care.
'Cause I needed
"You were my strength Soi…"
I need to hear you say
"The most important person in my life…"
That I love you
"Soi, I'm so sorry for causing you pain…"
I have loved you all along
"For making you cry…"
And I forgive you
Soi smiled, sobbing. "I've already forgiven you as well, Cotton candy boy."
For being away for far too long
"Next time, I'll break the door down so I can get to you…" he whispered.
So keep breathing
"So whatever happens, don't give up…" she smiled as he sent her words back at her.
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
"I'll never let you be alone again…" he solemnly swore.
Believe it
"Hold me please…" she whispered and Lu Xun scooped her up in his arms, cradling her tenderly.
Hold on to me and, never let me go
"Don't let go Cotton Candy Boy…" she whispered.
Keep breathing
"I need you to stay alive for me…never give up on your dreams please…"
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
"While you're at it…I'll always be with you. I'll never leave you again"
Believe it
"Soi…" he whispered in her ear. "I believe you…."
Hold on to me and, never let me go
"Be my strength…Lu Xun…" she fought the urge to close her eyes as she felt her strength slowly leave her.
"I will…I'll be strong enough to protect you…" he ran his hand through her hair.
Keep breathing
"Cotton…Candy…boy…" darkness has all but clouded her eyes. The last thing she saw was his face, full of tenderness. She silently prayed. Please…not now…At least let me tell him…
"I…" A tear rolled down Soi's cheek as her voice died in her throat, her eyes half open.
Love you, Lu Xun… And the light faded from her eyes.
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Lu Xun suddenly froze, and the tears flowed into torrents. "No…No Soi…No" he shook his head. "You can't die…not now, you can leave me. He held her shoulders.
Keep breathing
"SOI!" He started sobbing violently, and held her face in his hands. "You can't die…I haven't told you…You'll never know what…Soi…" he whispered brokenly. "I love you Soi…I love you…" he embraced her and held her head to his, his tears spilling down her cheeks.
Hold on to me and, never let me go
The last battery of the Mp3 player died at that moment, music and life silently slipping away, leaving the room with the sound of Lu Xun's sobs.
The castle square was silent as flags of red and gold flew with the breeze. The sky was a clear blue, yet there was sorrow all around.
Sun Ce stood tall, his head held high and Zhou Yu and Da Qiao on either side of him. Da was pale, her eyes swollen while Zhou Yu's face was pure sorrow. Xiao Qiao was sobbing right beside him while Shang Xiang kept wiping her stubborn tears. Zhou Tai was beside the remorseful Sun Quan while Huang Gai felt no shame in shedding his tears, with Taishi Ci looking at the square, his eyes shimmering. Ling Tong and Gan Ning kept silent, devoid of words for once. Lu Meng didn't trust himself to speak, and his heart broke as he saw Lu Xun. Lu Xun was devoid of all expression…And Lu Meng knew that his student's heart died.
The Shu faction, with their green banners, silently mourned with Wu. Zhao Yun held on his spear tight, his heart broken to pieces. The day the news reached Shu, he had gone berserk with rage and sorrow. Now, he was barely holding on as Zhang Fei and Guan Yu kept him in check. Zhuge Liang was sincerely sorry while the gentle Liu Bei kept his tears from shedding.
Cao Cao's face was solemn while Cao Pi carefully made his expression blank. Xu Zhu was looking at the ground, biting his lip while Dian Wei fixed his attention on the center of the courtyard. Zhen Ji felt her chest constrict yet said nothing.
Xiu Soi was lying on the funeral pyre, on a bed of white lily and lotus petals with a royal robe of green, blue, red, silver and gold trimmings spread underneath, her face serene and devoid of pain. A pair of dangling jade earrings, jade choker and jade, gold and silver bangles adorned her. Her lips was carefully dabbed with lip balm, cheeks blushed and her hair spread out like a shining black halo, with a lotus hair ornament pinned at the side of her head. She was dressed in a white and red sleeveless robe, her belly exposed and the lower half of the robe riding on her hips. Her arms were covered with a pair of detached sleeves from a robe lined with pearls while her hands was on her chest, clutching a piece of wood with a rabbit engraved on it. At first they wanted to bury her in the robes that she made and wore during her debut, but they didn't have the heart to destroy any memories she left. So they attempted to copy the robes she wore and altered it a little.
"A burial fit for an emperor" Ce whispered, his throat constricting. "Nothing but the best for my dear sister." He stepped forward and addressed the people who attended the funeral. He knew that not everyone would be able to hear him, given that thousands have attended, yet he wanted Soi to hear him.
"We have gathered today to honor the woman who changed our lives. A woman whose compassion is boundless, whose virtue is a legend and whose heart is…incomparable." He heard the little tremor in his voice, yet he didn't stop. "She has won the hearts of millions of people with her words, her deeds and her warmth. She has moved mountains to achieve the dreams of the people. She gave us a flash of hope in this endless night…she is the brightest shooting star, soaring through the black of night and giving life in the bleak of day. With her smile, she gave us peace. With her hand, she gave us warmth, and with her presence, she gave us hope. She is, the one and only, the legendary Falling Star. We will never forget her nor the twinkle of life in her eyes. Her memories will serve as an inspiration to fight for our dreams and drive our fears away. To fight for what we believe in and never betray those who are close to us for the sake of power or revenge. She will never leave us, for through her deeds and her memories, she lives on in our hearts."
He risked a glance at Zuo Ci, who was nestled protectively in the shadows. The old man gave a nod and Sun Ce closed his eyes, trying to keep his emotions in check. "Falling Star, may you watch over us from the heavens. With this sacred fire, let your soul free of your earthly vessel and reclaim your rightful place."
Spiritual men clad in white robes went to the funeral pyre and lit it. The people howled and wailed as the flames licked the body who was once Xiu Soi while she serenely held the wooden rabbit amulet in her hands
Sima Yi carefully hid his glee behind a mask of mourning as Zhang He was trying to keep his sobs silent.
Now…no one can get in my way.
Sun Ce went to stand beside Da and embraced her sobbing shoulders. His hand reached down and rested on her stomach protectively. The wooden rabbit talisman he was wearing around his neck brushed with the one Da was wearing.
The smoke from the funeral pyre reached towards the clear blue sky accompanied by the innumerable sounds of wailing, howling and sobs.
Lu Xun closed his eyes and felt a tear roll down his cheek silently. "I love you…Soi."
End
Author's notes:
Or is it? Wait!!! (all manner of weapons that were about to kill her stopped in midair). I'm not finished yet! Anyway, check out the Epilogue first before you kill me. You'd be surprised :D . (Stretches hand to readers) Please trust me…And take my hand. (takes your hand and points to the button which takes you to the Epilogue.)
Malicious Alchemist: you guessed right dearie. You have a prize from me: make a request and I'll do what I can to fulfill it!
The last song I used for this story is Far Away by Nickelback, one of my personal favorites. I tried reading this chapter while playing the song and it made me cry...I can't believe how cruel I am
Thanks to all those who reviewed! There are so many of you, it would take hours to thank each and everyone! Check the Epilogue out!