A/N: Thanks to Amonraphoenix and Darkunderworld for beta-ing for me.

Disclaimer: see chapter one

Leonardo bolted straight up in bed, eyes wide and gasping for breath. He looked around, finding himself in his bedroom instead of the park. He looked around in confusion, as if he wasn't able to remember how he had gotten into his room, or why he was in his room to begin with. Memories came crashing back into him. His skin began to tingle uncomfortably as a surge of adrenalin rushed through his body. He took a deep breath, for a moment believing that perhaps he had dreamt the entire episode with the Grimm Reaper. His breath exited his lungs in a whoosh of air.

His telltale mask did not cover his eyes.

Their capture by Alfredson had not been a dream, just a waking nightmare that he hadn't been able to wake up from. He had survived, though barely but...

His heart clenched with unbearable grief. He looked down at his hands and chest, cleansed free of his brother's blood. He remembered Raphael had been shot, his life blood splattered across his face and chest.

He swallowed, a sudden heartening thought crossing his mind.

Maybe Raph had managed to survive also.

This thought couldn't be dispelled from his head as he threw the covers back and ran for his door. He refused to believe that Alfredson had managed to kill Raphael. He refused to believe that it could have ended that way; Raphael saving them, but being killed in the process.

He had to know what happened to Raphael. Leonardo quickly made his way downstairs and headed straight for the infirmary.

He looked around his eyes finally falling upon a motionless Raphael, lying on a cot, a white sheet pulled up to his chin.

His heart rose and them plummeted, all within the space of a few seconds. Raphael had been shot in the chest. If his brother was still alive, he should have been hooked up to machines; ventilators, heart monitors, and Donatello and Michelangelo would be hovering around him like worried hens. Instead the infirmary was empty, and there were no machines, no evidence of surgery, nothing to indicate that Raphael had come home alive.

Leonardo let out a choked sob of grief, nearly falling to his knees, but somehow holding himself up enough to stumble over to his brother's corpse. There was a chair pulled up next to the cot, his legs giving way so that he fell into the seat. He looked over at his brother. He lay so still and looked so peaceful. Raphael always tended to be so loud and filled with life, that seeing him lying on the cot -almost as if he were only sleeping- filled Leonardo with such a sense of loss and guilt that he nearly doubled over with the pain of it.

"I'm sorry, Raph." He choked out as tears silently began to stream down his face. "I should have… I should have tried to help. I should have gotten out of the van, and killed Alfredson myself." He bit out, the words bitter and filled with regret.

His brother had risked everything to save them- and he had- his reward, a bullet in the back from their enemy.

His mind flew back to their fight, and Leonardo's excessive pride. If he had just told his brother's the truth -that he hadn't been well enough to continue on with patrol that night- maybe none of this would have happened. And then Raphael wouldn't have given his life to save them, and Leonardo's last words to his brother wouldn't have been in anger and resentful.

Leonardo closed his eyes in shame as he replayed their fight in his head over and over again. He then tormented himself further by replaying Raphael's death, over and over again, and then each time, trying to prevent it by changing his actions, and managing to save his hot-headed brother's life. But no matter what he could have done, none of it mattered because he hadn't done anything.

Leonardo reached out and touched Raphael's cool, bruised and battered cheek. He tried to comfort himself by telling himself that Raphael was in a better place now; that no one could ever hurt him again. And yet these thoughts gave him no comfort, because he was selfish enough not to care about that. He wanted his younger brother back, alive and well and being a pain in his shell.

Leonardo let out another sob of grief as he shook his head back and forth in denial. He then swallowed down the lump of sorrow that constricted his throat and began to talk. He brushed his thumb across his brother's forehead and plastered a fake smile on his face. "You did good, Raph." He said softly. "You save us, all of us, even me. You didn't give up. I have no idea what you went through to save us, but I don't doubt that you probably went through hell to do it. You may even have surprised yourself." Leonardo almost smiled genuinely then, knowing Alfredson's love of riddles and tormenting of the victims family. "But you won. In the end you won, and Alfredson can never hurt anyone again. You killed the Grim Reaper. And I think that you would even be okay with the fact that you didn't manage to survive. You would probably say that you were 'living on borrowed time anyway' or 'at least I got the jerk' or 'whatever, I died after him, I still win' or even 'if there was one of us that had to go, it should be me' but…but…I… I'm not okay with losing you." His voice was barely above a whisper. "Why didn't you make sure he was dead?" he asked, suddenly angry at his brother for leaving Alfredson alive, twice, even though it had been on his orders to leave Alfredson alive after their last encounter with him.

Leonardo wiped away his tears, and bowed his head, closing his eyes. He took a deep, calming breath, trying to pull the tattered remains of his sanity together. He was going to have to be strong for his remaining younger siblings -and for his father and their friends who would need to be told the devastating news.

Leonardo stood; his legs shaky. "Thank you, Raph." He whispered as he touched his brother's cheek one last time. "I love you." He pulled his hand away and turned, intending to leave the room.

"Hey, Leo, you mind shutting it, some of us are tryin' to sleep." Raphael's irritated voice grumbled.

Leonardo's head whipped around fast enough to give him whiplash. Raphael lay exactly as he had been, still and unmoving. His brother suddenly tipped his head to the side opening one golden eye, before his eye closed again, his head returning to it's previous position.

His vision wavered slightly as his knees threatened to give way. He shook his head wondering if he had imagined Raphael speaking and moving. It was possible that he had received some sort of brain damage while he had been dead and now he was hallucinating.

He stumbled over to his brother's cot, laying his head gently on Raphael's chest seeing if he could hear a heartbeat, or notice his brother breathing.

"I ain't dead, Fearless, but I'm pretty sure you're gonna bore me to death if you keep talkin' , so hows about you go away so I can sleep." Raphael growled in irritation.

Leonardo's face broke into a wide, elated grin. Tear of happiness filled his eyes as he squeezed his brother in a tight embrace.

Raphael let out a yelp of pain, immediately Leonardo let go.

"What's going on?" Donatello asked as he ran into the room. "Leo? What are you doing out of bed?" Donatello asked as he strode over to Raphael pulling back the sheet and inspecting the swath of bandages that were wrapped around his chest and upper shoulder.

Leonardo swallowed down his horror as he stared at his brother's injury. His eyes flew to Raphael who wore a scowl on his face, eyes open and tinged with irritation.

"Leo's tryin' to kill me, that's what's goin' on. Apparently the Grim Reaper didn't do a good enough job." Raphael growled as he winced in pain, Donatello prodding at his shoulder.

Donatello frowned at Leonardo, waiting for an answer. "I thought…I thought Alfredson had killed Raph." He answered softly his mind spinning. "I saw him lying here, and he wasn't hooked up to any machines…I saw him get shot, Donny," he defended in confusion.

Michelangelo chose that moment to walk into the room, a tray of broth, plain toast and a glass of water in his hands.

"Hey, Leo, you're awake." Michelangelo said happily as he placed the tray down on the table beside Raphael.

"Mikey, I told you, if you ain't gonna bring me real food, to not bother bringin' me anything." Raphael complained as Donatello helped him to sit up, adjusting his pillows so he could do so comfortably.

"He was shot in the shoulder, but with the angle he was shot at the bullet exited out his plastron, skimming his ribs, but missing all internal organs." Donatello explained as he sat the tray over Raphael's lap. "Of course he also had other injuries, including several lacerations and hairline fractures to his legs from being hit by a car." He grumbled. "But if he takes it easy he will make a full recovery." Donatello said as he shot a glare at Raphael, who ignored their medic brother.

Leonardo felt his shoulders sag with relief.

"You've been sleeping for three days straight." Michelangelo said as he lifted up the spoon for the broth and tried to get Raphael to eat a bite, going so far as to make airplane noises, much to Raphael's continued irritation.

Michelangelo's words explained why Raphael was recovering, already having had Donatello's medical care days before.

Donatello looked at Leonardo, walking around Raphael's cot and motioning for him to seat in the seat he had just vacated. "The previous injuries you received during your previous encounter with Alfredson, coupled with your recent traumas and your cracked ribs is why you slept for so long," Donatello answered matter-o-factly as he checked Leonardo's vitals after he had taken a seat.

Raphael reluctantly ate several spoonfuls of broth before waving the rest of the food away.

Donatello finished his check-up and nodded his head, pleased with what he saw. "Don't tire him out." Donatello warned as he gently squeezed Leonardo's shoulder, and motioned with his head to leave the two older siblings in the infirmary alone.

Michelangelo picked up the tray and exited the room. Donatello stopped and threw over his shoulder. "You too, Leo, you need your rest as well." He warned as he exited the room.

Leonardo turned his head back to Raphael. "I thought you were dead," he muttered under his breath so low that Raphael almost missed it. "But you're alive," he whispered, his voice still filled with shock and awe.

Raphael gave a snort. "Sorry to disappoint ya, Fearless," he said with a slight smile, followed closely by a pained wince.

Leonardo didn't even glare at his brother's jab, too relieved that Raphael was alive to care what his brother said. He swallowed and looked at his brother seriously, wanting him to answer a few questions before he left him so that they could both get some rest.

"What happened after you pulled me out of the coffin?" he asked softly.

Raphael grimaced at the memory as he shifted into a more comfortable position. "Donny pronounced you dead at the scene, I told him that you weren't dead and started doing chest compressions. 'Course I think I did more pounding than compressing."

Leonardo rubbed his chest, still feeling the dull aching throb. "So, that's why my chest hurts," he grumbled, a slight smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

Raphael chuckled, but coughed slightly. "Yeah, but it got you back."

"Yeah, it did," Leonardo replied gratefully.

Raphael smirked, but it fell from his face again. "You came back, but so did the Reaper. (Of course, you saw what happened, up until you apparently fainted when I was shot," Raphael said seriously, not even smiling over the fact that Leonardo had fainted. Instead his face was grim, almost haunted. Raphael blinked and shook his head slightly. "But I got him," he told Leonardo softly, avoiding Leonardo's eyes.

Leonardo was surprised by the sudden change in his brother's behaviour. He shifted in the chair and leaned over.

"So…Alfredson is really gone?" he asked, hoping that the Grim Reaper hadn't played possum again.

Raphael closed his eyes, and nodded, still avoiding Leonardo's eyes. "Yeah. Mikey and Donny saw it on the news. Took 'em a bit to figure out who they found dead by the pond, but apparently once they did, no one was really too upset. Though they are still grudgingly tryin' to find out who killed him. We done talkin', Leo, I'm kinda tired," Raphael said as he slid down in his cot, trying to adjust his pillows, gnashing his teeth in pain for his troubles. Leonardo leapt to his feet to help. Raphael turned away slightly.

Leonardo stood back. "I'll let you get some rest." He said quietly as he turned to leave the room.

"Hey, Leo," Raphael's voice was soft almost inaudible. "I love you too, Bro."

Leonardo smiled and left the room, a frown forming on his face at Raphael's sudden shift in mood. He walked to the living room where he found his two younger brothers watching some TV.

"Donny, is Raph really going to be okay?" He asked in worry.

Donatello sighed and turned his full attention to Leo. "He'll make a full physical recover," he stated succinctly. "As for his mental recovery…that may take longer."

Michelangelo looked down at the ground, his face filling with grim worry.

"Alfredson's body was found in Inwood Hill Park," he explained. Leonardo nodding having already heard this information from Raphael. "Cause of death was a stab wound to the gut."

Leonardo frowned, knowing that Raphael had killed Alfredson and not understanding why Raphael's mental health would be…Sickening realization filled him. Leonardo put a hand over his mouth as his eyes began to widen. Now he understood Raphael's sudden behaviour change.

He had killed someone. Even if it was Alfredson, Raphael had still taken his first life.

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