"What do you think about these?" Anna holds out three different candles to Quinn, letting her sniff each one.
The blonde crinkles her face slightly. "Not vanilla."
"Everyone likes vanilla."
"Not me… Well, I mean, it reminds me of someone."
"Ooh… A girl?
"Yes."
"You were in love with her?"
"Something like that… It's not really important. It doesn't bother me too much but I wouldn't go out and buy a candle of it to torture myself with."
"Well, they're not for you. They're for the fundraiser."
"I know, silly. But you asked…" She playfully tickles Anna in the ribs. "I'd go for the sea breeze one. New Yorkers should know what the ocean smells like."
"And it's our duty to educate them, huh?"
Quinn shrugs. "Why not?"
"It was nice of Brittany and Santana to talk the owner of the boutique into letting us use the place."
"Yeah…" The blonde says a bit nervously. "It'll be good for business too."
The two of them sort through various decorations as they put things into boxes to take with them to the event. "How does it feel to help plan your first fundraiser?"
"Feels great. I wouldn't have thought it's something I'd ever be doing but it'll help us raise money for the literacy program so it's something I believe in."
"I think there are a lot of things you could accomplish if you put your mind to it."
The blonde gives her a quick smile, "Thanks. You too."
"So, vanilla girl… What was her name?"
Quinn suddenly feels a flash of heat reach her face as she turns away to busy herself with stacking pamphlets. "Oh. Um… Jenny."
"Are you over her?"
"What?"
The dark eyed girl stays calm as she reasons with her. "Well, if you still think about her every time you smell vanilla, maybe you aren't."
"It's not like that. You know, sometimes you think of a person when you hear a certain song or something like that. It doesn't mean you aren't over them emotionally."
"So, you are then?"
The blonde turns around to face the other girl, sighing a bit softly. "I'm not sure exactly… I'd like to be."
Anna raises her eyebrow curiously and walks over to her. She pulls the blonde close to her and plants a soft kiss on her lips. The kiss is sweet and tender; it's a kiss that doesn't ask for anything in return. Quinn smiles, enjoying the simplicity of their first kiss and leaning into it as she tastes the dark eyed girl's cherry lips.
After she pulls away, Anna holds onto her and looks in her eyes. "So, are you?"
Quinn's phone goes off and she answers it quickly. "Hello? Yeah, sounds good… We'll head over now… Bye." She hangs up and turns her attention back to Anna. "They're ready for us to make our way over there so we can set up."
The dirty blonde hair girl nods. "Sounds good…" She grabs one of the boxes and then adds with a teasing smile, "We'll talk more about this later."
The green-eyed girl nods somewhat nervously but grabs the other box. "Please, I don't torture you about your exes."
"Yes, but I wasn't in love with any of mine." Anna pops the trunk of her car and the girls load the boxes into it before climbing inside the car and driving off toward the boutique.
When they reach their destination, they notice a bunch of girls walking in and out of the place, carrying loads of boxes and decorations.
"Looks like we have a lot of help." Anna says with a bit of surprise.
"Yeah… I wonder where they found all of these helpers."
The dark eyed girl gives a small shrug. "Well, you won't hear me complaining."
A knock against Anna's window draws their attention and they notice Santana standing there. The girl rolls her window down to greet her.
"Hey, Santana. Nice to see you again."
"Yeah, hey. So, if you wanna pop your trunk, Britt and I can get your stuff out for you."
"Oh, we can do it. You two have already done more than enough."
Another voice interrupts. "We insist." Brittany's smiling face appears behind Santana.
Anna smiles. "Okay then, well I'll grab one and you can get the other one. Quinn you can go inside with Santana and show her where we want everything."
The girl is already halfway outside her car door when the blonde speaks up to protest. "I can get the box!"
The dark eyed girl closes the door and grins at her curiously. "You okay, there?"
"Yeah… Just nervous." The blonde replies, feeling a hint of color in her cheeks.
"Everything will be great, babe. I'll see you in there." She walks away, leaving Quinn still glued to her seat.
Santana pops her head back in the window to glare at her. "Jeez, Q. Is it really that terrible to be stuck with me?"
"It's not that." The blonde replies weakly. She sighs and gets out of the car. "Well, let's do this."
The two of them head inside the boutique as one of the redheaded girls gives a small wave to Santana as they pass.
"Okay, so we just need to know where you want the main table set up and all of that stuff." The darker haired girl explains.
"We were thinking of having the information table in the back so that people will be able to talk to us before they get a bunch of pamphlets thrown at them."
The Latina nods. She stops one of the girls and relays the message. Before she walks away, the girl whispers something back into Santana's ear causing her to grin.
Quinn rolls her eyes, realization finally dawning on her. "So, how many of these girls have you slept with?"
"Hey, we needed the help…" When she looks over at Quinn again, she adds, "It's not like they meant anything."
"Is that supposed to make it better?"
"I don't know… It feels nice to get attention every once and awhile."
"Do you think you'd ever be okay with just getting attention from one person?"
"Are you volunteering?" Santana asks teasingly.
The blonde shakes her head. "You're such a flirt."
"You like it."
The two of them make their way to the back where the table has now been set up. Anna and Brittany come up from behind them and set the boxes down.
"Okay, you two can take care of this back here and Brittany and I will put the decorations up front." The dark eyed girl says decisively.
Quinn gives a nod, resigned to her fate. "Okay, I'll see you later."
Anna smiles at her and gives her arm a soft squeeze leaving her and Santana to shift awkwardly through the pamphlets in silence.
The darker haired girl finally looks over to her. "So, this must be exciting for you."
The blonde sighs. "Yep."
"You know, it doesn't have to be like this, Quinn. You could talk to me like a normal person."
"I don't even know what normal people do in these kind of situations."
"What kind of situations?"
"I don't even know how to explain it."
Santana looks at her with annoyance. "Well, the least you could do is thank me."
The blonde pauses and stops messing with the pamphlets for a moment. "You're right." She reaches her hand out to Santana, getting the girl to look her in the eye. "Thank you… It really means a lot. Sorry, if I've been hard on you lately."
"Yeah. Could you cut me a break, Q? I'm trying."
Quinn nods, suddenly feeling very foolish and upset with herself. "Of course… You're such a good friend, San… You mean a lot to me."
The Latina looks at her but the girl doesn't make eye contact. "Same here."
Another long moment of silence comes between them as they busy themselves with the work in front of them.
Santana breaks it again, her voice timid. "Quinn… I never got a chance to ask you about the scars…" She looks at her, not sure whether or not she should change the subject.
The other girl continues to sort and stack papers while she responds. "I went through a lot in high school. I was constantly questioning myself. I kept trying to be something I wasn't because I was afraid of what people would think of me if I chose to be myself. I felt like my parents were going to hate me, which made me hate myself so I just kept pretending I was okay when I wasn't. All the pretending made me numb and I guess I just wanted to feel something… Feel like I had some control… But I got over it. I'm better now."
"What made you stop?"
She finally stops with the pamphlets and looks at Santana. "Someone who loved me made me realize it wasn't worth it. And eventually I began to like myself despite what other people said."
"A girl?"
"A guy."
"Oh… Well, I'm glad you're better."
"Me too…" She breaks her gaze, fidgeting nervously. Her head fills with clouded thoughts as she tries to think of a reason to excuse herself from the conversation. "I should find something to write with… Pens... People will probably need pens."
She motions toward the room to the left of them. "There are some in the back room… I'll get them."
"No, I'll get them." Quinn says hurriedly as she walks away.
Santana sighs in exasperation as she runs after her. "Quinn, you don't know where—"
When she enters the room, the girl is standing there looking lost and confused. Tears play at the corners of her eyes.
"Is everything okay?"
"I don't know, San… I don't know what I'm doing."
"Q, there's something I need to tell you…"
The blonde has already made her way over to her before she can say anything else. "I'm going to kiss you. Just once. I need to know something."
Santana looks at her with an unspoken question in her eyes but nods anyway.
Quinn plants a hand on the side of her neck, tracing lightly along Santana's throat with her thumb. She moves in for the kiss finally meeting the other girl's lips. The slight contact is devastating. She remembers their first kiss. The smell of smoky air mixed in with the faint scent of mortar as the other girl pressed her body against hers. Fall. Santana's vanilla and the scent of burning wood mixed together. The memory shocks Quinn's system as she flicks her tongue across the darker haired girl's lower lip, letting her inside. She feels Santana's hand move toward the small of her back, bringing her closer. And it's all there just the same. The taste of longing, of things left unsaid. Things that make her remember their second kiss and the events that followed. A slight panic begins to rise in the blonde girl's kiss as she deepens it before she thinks better of it, finally forcing herself to pull away. A frustrated moan coming from somewhere deep inside her as she gently bites and tugs on Santana's lower lip before completely removing herself from her touch.
The blonde turns to walk away but not before the other girl grabs her by the arm.
"Are you happy Quinn?"
The girl doesn't answer but instead slowly turns around to face her.
"Does Anna make you happy?"
The blonde pauses, seeming to think about the question before responding. "…Yes."
"Do you love her?"
Her expression is unreadable as she sighs softly to herself. "I don't know… but I think I could."
Santana nods, swallowing the hurt. Once again, the blonde turns to leave but she doesn't let her off the hook so easily.
"Quinn… I'll let you have this one… But don't kiss me again unless you mean it."
Her voice comes out in almost a whisper. "Who says I didn't?" Remembering herself, she walks out of the back room to rejoin the others.
The Latina stands there for a while replaying the kiss in her head, trying to make sense of what just happened and the words the blonde girl had said before she left. Instead of sadness, she feels anger. Anger at herself. Anger for letting herself want the blonde girl as much as she does; anger for letting her leave. She punches the box closest to her, watching the contents spill. After making itself known, the anger gives way to sadness. Sadness for both of them. Sadness for not ever being able to find the right words. Sadness that a kiss could mean everything and nothing at the same time.
She steels herself before leaving the back room. As she re-enters the main area of the boutique, she notices that people have already begun arriving as they talk amongst each other. She notices Brittany off to the side, helping with the refreshments and makes her way over there.
"Anything over here with alcohol?"
Her friend gives her a teasing glare. "Just get over and help me."
Anna spots them together and makes her way over. "Hey, guys. I didn't have time to properly thank you, Santana, so I just wanted to let you know I really am grateful for everything you've done."
"Sure, no problem." The Latina says in her best monotone. "I did it for Quinn."
The other girl nods in understanding. "You're a really good friend to her."
Santana sets her jaw, keeping herself calm. The redheaded girl surprises her as she comes up from behind and throws her arms around her shoulders. "You smell great tonight, babe."
"Thanks." She untangles herself from her grasp. "We kind of need to keep it professional right now, okay?"
The girl nods and gives her a wink. "Sure thing… What kind of shampoo is that anyway?" She traces a finger along her inner forearm. "And are you gonna let me use some of it tomorrow morning?"
The darker haired girl feels a slight heat working its way up her body as the girl's fingers travel to other areas. "It's… Um… Some Victoria's Secret stuff… I don't remember the exact name of it... It's vanilla something…"
"Vanilla?" Anna asks more to herself than anything.
"Yeah..." Santana answers, her focus elsewhere.
A curious look crosses Anna's face but before she has any more time to think about it, she's interrupted by the voice of a middle-aged woman.
"Anna, darling."
She turns her attention to the woman, noticing the way she's dragging Quinn alongside her.
"Hey, Julia… I see you've met Quinn." She says with a smile.
"Oh, yes. Isn't she just the best? She told me you two are seeing each other?" The woman asks with feigned innocence.
Santana has finally managed to stop the advances of the redhead as she listens in on the conversation.
The dark eyed girl gives a small smile. "Only occasionally. We're not exclusive or anything."
Quinn gives the woman's hand a small squeeze as she smiles. "See, I told you, Julia. Nothing official yet."
"Such a shame." She shakes her head somewhat sadly. "Well, don't you let her go too easily, Quinn. It's always hard for a girl like Anna to find someone."
"What do you—"
"Maybe we should go check out the pamphlets in the back." Anna interrupts as she tries to usher the woman along with her.
She stops when she notices the death glare that Quinn is giving her. "Julia, what did you mean by 'a girl like Anna?'"
The older woman looks between the pair of them, somewhat confused before she answers, "A girl with money."
"What money?"
"Darling… Anna's a Porter… Her family—"
"Fuck." Santana mutters under her breath.
"Oh, I think I've got it." Quinn glares at Anna who can't seem to meet her gaze now. "I've only been in New York for a couple months and I know who the Porters are… Sorry, Julia… I've got somewhere I need to be."
The blonde turns around and makes her way out of the boutique as the dark eyed girl chases after her. "Quinn! I was going to tell you!"
She manages to catch up with her as they reach the sidewalk. "Anna, I don't really feel like doing this right now. I don't even care about any of this stuff. I don't really care who your family is… I just, I thought I knew who you were. I thought things between us could be simple… I thought you were like me."
"Look, you do know who I am. You probably know me better than my family does even though we've only just met. There's a reason I don't go around sharing the information that I'm a Porter… Things between us can still be simple…"
The green-eyed girl sighs. "Don't you think that sounds a bit naïve?"
"Quinn, do you like spending time with me?"
"Yes."
"Then let's not overthink it… We can take things slow…" She grabs the girl's hand. "And anyway, it'd be rude of us to leave our own fundraiser."
"I don't think anyone would miss us except Julia."
The other girl lets out a small laugh. "It's for a good cause, remember? Something you believe in." She offers her an arm. "For Julia?"
The blonde gives her a peck on the cheek before grabbing onto her. "For Julia."