A/N: I'm sad to say that this is the last chapter. It's been fun and I'm glad you all have enjoyed the story. A very very big thank you to Amonraphoenix and Darkunderworld for beta-ing for me, and thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed. You guys are awesome!
Disclaimer: see chapter one
Tires screeched to a stop as the Battle Shell came to a grinding halt beside the pond in Inwood Hill Park. The driver's side door burst open and a frantic Raphael jumped out of the van, making a mad dash for the cold, dark water in front of him. Without a second thought he dove into the frigid water and swam for the bottom. When he reached the bottom Raphael found nothing but an empty glass coffin. With his heart racing with panic, Raphael swam for the surface again.
Raphael's head broke the surface of the water with a loud whoosh; his feet sinking into the soft mud as he stumbled up onto solid ground. He rubbed his arms to try to warm himself up as the cool air blew over his wet skin. Raphael frantically looked around for any sign or clue as to where his older brother was being held. He reasoned that if Leonardo wasn't in the coffin, then the Grim Reaper must have moved him somewhere else. However, the more he thought about it, the more he knew that it wasn't in the Grim Reaper's nature to move his victims once they were buried.
"Well, isn't this a fine mess you've gotten yourself into," a hauntingly familiar voice drawled, breaking the eerie, suffocating silence of the park.
Raphael froze, his heart hammering painfully against his ribs. He slowly turned his head and his breath caught in his throat. Alfredson stood a few feet away, leaning negligently up against a tree. An oozing, bloody hole was fixed almost in the center of his chest. Raphael instinctively took a step away from what he knew to be a ghost. Alfredson smirked and looked down at the hole in his chest before looking back up at Raphael.
"What? This?" the human asked, pulling his shirt away from the wound, making it ooze blood even more. "This shouldn't bother you; after all, you're the one who inflicted it."
Raphael shook his head in denial. "I didn't mean to," he whispered hoarsely. "It was self-defense."
"Of course it was, Red," Alfredson agreed. He tsked and gave Raphael a disappointed look. "But you still committed murder." He hummed thoughtfully. "What will your brothers think when they find out?" the serial killer asked. "Oh that's right. You're still looking for Leonardo, aren't you?"
"Where is he?" Raphael demanded.
Alfredson shrugged dismissively. "He could be anywhere. Once the victims die, the fun immediately stops. I dig them back up and drop them where I snatched them from." Alfredson flinched involuntarily when a sai suddenly slammed into the tree above his head.
"Where is he?!" Raphael roared.
Alfredson reached up and pulled the sai out of the wood. "That's not how it works, Red," he said in a deadly calm and icy voice. "I take them, you find them. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter, the rules stay the same."
Raphael stalked over to Alfredson, pulling his other sai out of his belt in the process. The human laughed mockingly.
"What are you going to do, Red? Stab me? You've already done that, remember?" Alfredson pointed out. "What do you think your brothers are going to say when they find out that you killed someone?"
Raphael stopped dead in his tracks. He stared at the oozing wound in Alfredson's chest and felt his stomach churn with unexpected nausea. What would the others think of him when they found out? He was a murderer; a cold blooded killer. Self-defense was no excuse for what he had done. Raphael looked down at his hands to find them stained dark with blood, Alfredson's blood. He had never thought twice about driving his sai into Alfredson's chest.
"Raphie is a murderer. Raphie is a murderer… " Alfredson sang with taunting, sickening glee. Raphael looked up at him with wide, fearful amber eyes. "Oh, don't give me that look, Red," Alfredson sneered in exasperation. "We both know you enjoyed it; watching the life fade from someone's eyes and feeling their body go limp in your arms." The Grim Reaper walked forward and placed a hand on Raphael's shoulder. "You've become more like me in the last twelve hours than you realize, Red. I saw it in your eyes as my life drained away. You wanted to kill again because it felt so good. For the first time in your miserable life, you finally felt alive, so much so that you know it will hurt not to do it again."
Raphael felt the bile rise up in his throat and turned away, shaking his head in defiance. "I'm nothing like you," he snarled viciously.
Alfredson put a hand under Raphael's chin and pulled his head back so that they were looking eye to eye. "You've got the taste for blood now, Raphael. It's only a matter of time before you kill again. And next time, it won't be in self-defense. Maybe it will even be someone who deserves it; perhaps a Foot ninja or a Purple Dragon. Of course, it is possible that you will lose control of your temper and kill one of your brothers in your mindless rage. Either way, the temptation will be there and you will give in to it." Alfredson grinned darkly. "You're a natural born killer, Raphael."
Raphael heard a soft moan that drifted around him. This moan was echoed by another, and followed by another after that. Raphael looked around, before looking down at his feet. His eyes widen in horror when he realized he was standing upon the mangled bodies of faceless Purple Dragons and Foot soldiers. Raphael felt horror fill him, turning into cold terror when he stared into the unseeing, glassy eyes of Leonardo; a sai plunged straight through his heart, the look of betrayal and hurt frozen forever on his face.
Raphael gasped sharply and shot up in bed; eyes wide with horror and fear. He panted for breath as he looked around in confusion only to realize that he was in his bedroom. He put a hand over the bandages that still covered his body and hung his head. Raphael squeezed his eyes tightly as he felt tears begin to burn his eyes. He didn't want to believe a word Alfredson had said, but deep down he knew the words to be true. It was only a matter of time before he shed blood again, and next time it wouldn't be in self-defense; it would be out of anger, or worse…need. Raphael looked up when he heard the door creak open and he saw a blue masked face peek around the corner.
"Raph? You awake?" Leonardo whispered.
"Yeah, Leo, come on in," Raphael replied tightly.
Leonardo opened the door a bit more and stepped inside the room. He closed the door behind him and walked over to his brother's hammock.
"Couldn't sleep?" Raphael asked.
"Apparently coming back from the dead really messes with your head," Leonardo replied softly.
Raphael couldn't help but smile faintly at the light joke. Leonardo tilted his head slightly and studied his brother's face. In the darkness he could see something was eating at his red masked sibling.
"Is there something you want to talk about?" Leonardo asked searchingly.
Raphael instantly shook his head. "Nah," he answered. "It's nothin' you have to worry about, Fearless."
Leonardo looked down at the floor and shifted on his feet. "Raph," he started carefully. "I know about Alfredson."
Raphael visibly flinched as if he had been struck. Disownment was probably the least he deserved at the moment for his crime.
"I just wanted to say..." Leonardo paused and took a deep breath. "Thank you."
Raphael looked up at his brother, shock and confusion lighting his eyes. "Come again?"
"Thank you," Leonardo repeated louder. "You saved our lives, Raph, and countless others."
"Leo, I...I killed someone," Raphael hissed angrily. "And you're just gonna act like it was nothing?"
Leonardo swallowed. "I'm not acting like it was nothing, Raph. There's a difference between self-defense and cold blooded murder. From what I heard from Mikey and Donny, it was either kill or be killed. You weren't just fighting for your own life, Raph, you were fighting for hundreds of others…including ours."
"It still doesn't justify what I did," Raphael said, looking away from his brother. "I have the blood of another person on my hands, Leo. Do you have any idea what that feels like?"
Leonardo took a breath and held it for a moment. "Actually...I do," he answered, his voice barely above a breathless whisper.
Raphael glanced up at Leonardo again. "What?" he asked in stunned shock.
"Raph, I..." Leonardo trailed off as his eyes began to burn with tears. He took a deep, calming breath before speaking again. "I know what it feels like to shed blood, to…to take a life. It's something I'm not proud of, but it was either stop the threat or die; never being able to see my family and friends again."
"Who was it?" Raphael asked.
Leonardo reached up and wiped silent tears from his eyes. "A couple of Foot ninjas that ambushed me," he replied quietly. "But the weight upon me of what I had done was crushing. They might have had family and friends too; and I took them away from that forever. I still struggle with the memory of killing those men, but I had to forgive myself for it and move on. If not, it would just eat away at me until there was nothing left."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Raphael whispered.
Leonardo looked down at the floor. "Mostly because I was afraid of what you guys would think of me," he answered softly. "So, it became my burden to bear with only Master Splinter ever knowing the truth." He took another shaky breath and released it. "And I know this doesn't make things any easier, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in dealing with this. I understand what you're going through; me Mike, Don and Sensei are more than willing to help you get through this as well. Always remember you're never alone."
Raphael nodded slowly. "Thanks, Leo," he said gratefully.
Leonardo smiled. "Anytime, Bro." He turned around and headed for the door.
"Leo?" Raphael's soft voice brought Leonardo to a stop. "Have you ever thought about taking another life again?"
Leonardo sighed and turned to face his brother again. "Yes, I have. But I know that if I do I'd be walking a path that would make me no better than the ones I took the life from. Killing is a poison, Raph. The more you drink the poison the harder it is to get it out of your system and the more it kills you inside." He tilted his head in a questioning manner. "Why do you ask?" Leonardo wanted to know.
Raphael shook his head dismissively. "Just wonderin'," he replied.
"Don't ever get used to killing, Raph," Leonardo warned. "I almost lost you to the Grim Reaper once; I don't want to have to go through that again."
"I ain't gonna go down that road, Leo," Raphael assured his brother. "I promise, ninja's honour."
Leonardo nodded in approval. "That's good to hear," he said. "Good night, Raph."
"G'night, Leo," Raphael replied tiredly.
Leonardo opened the door and disappeared into the hallway, closing the door gently behind him. Raphael lay back against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. A strange sense of relief began to wash over him with the knowledge that his family and friends were safe from Alfredson grasp. Raphael turned over onto his side and closed his eyes as sleep began to take a hold of him again.
He would forever live with the guilt of taking a life, but it would also come with the knowledge that he rescued countless others from the pain and misery that he and his brothers had gone through.
He would sleep better at night knowing that this was one nightmare that they would never have to live through ever again.
That's all she wrote. Thanks again :)
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