"Are you ready for this?" Anna looks at the green-eyed girl standing beside her.
"Sure."
The dark eyed girl plants a chaste kiss on Quinn's lips before they enter the club together. The pair of them make their way over to the bar where they see Santana working.
The blonde greets her. "Hey, San."
The Latina continues mixing drinks but gives them a slight head nod. "Hey, guys. Be with you in a sec."
Quinn turns back around to face Anna. "I'm kind of nervous about this whole thing."
The other girl squeezes her hand assuredly. "It'll be okay. Which part are you nervous about?"
"You're kidding, right? I'm just not sure if I'm ready for it."
"So, what's going on?" Santana has made her way over to them and is eyeing them suspiciously.
"Hey, Santana." Anna greets her before continuing. "We just came here to invite you to a cocktail party/benefit that my parents are throwing for our literacy program."
"People still throw those? What is this, Downton Abbey?"
Quinn decides to speak up now, "The whole thing of it is that after that fundraiser, word got around we've been seeing each other and so Anna's parents want to meet me."
"So, the best way to do that would be to throw money at you?" Santana asks bitterly.
"They don't really live on the same planet as the rest of us." Anna adds. "It's not that big of a deal, they're just being paranoid. I agreed to it because donations from their friends would do wonders for the program."
"Shouldn't it matter how Quinn feels?" The brunette says defensively.
"Santana, I agreed to it, too." The blonde adds, trying to placate her.
The Latina sighs. "Anna, can you give us a moment?"
Anna looks over at Quinn and when she nods, she excuses herself. "Of course. I'll be back in a few."
As soon as the girl is out of hearing distance, Santana explodes. "Quinn, are you fucking crazy? Why would you want to get involved with these people?"
"Okay, can we take this down a notch, Santana? You don't even know them, they might be really nice."
"I seriously think you have brain damage sometimes. Her mother is a fucking defense attorney! Her father is some kind of big shot business mogul! People like that aren't nice, Quinn. Those kind of people are the kind of people you shouldn't get involved with. Even I know that."
"Thanks for that. You sound like the National Enquirer… Also, it's not like we're announcing our engagement, they just want to know that I'm not some gold digger."
"I'm sure that's not all they want to know, Q. They probably already know everything about you. God knows it's easy for them to find out when they have that kind of power. What you should really be asking yourself is what are they really after?"
The blonde shrugs. "I don't have anything for them to be after. I can't say that I'm completely comfortable with everything but it'd be good for the program so I think in this case, my personal feelings have to be put aside... It's just one night."
"Screw that. If Anna really cared about you, she wouldn't ask you to do this."
"She didn't ask, I offered."
The Latina sets her jaw and looks at her as if trying to solve some kind of riddle. The dark eyed girl rejoins them and notices the obvious tension between them.
"Is everything alright?"
Quinn nods as she grabs Anna's hand. "Yeah, it's fine."
When Santana doesn't answer, Anna turns her attention to her. "So, were you interested in coming? Brittany's invited too of course."
The girl breaks her concentration and answers somewhat dejectedly. "Sure, we'll be there… Can't say how long we'll stay."
"Thanks, Santana. That means a lot. I know my family can be kind of intimidating and I'm not really on the best of terms with them myself, but if this is what it takes to bury the hatchet, then I'm willing to do it. And I know they'll like Quinn so we have nothing to worry about."
"If you say so." The Latina still doesn't seem too convinced but having grown tired of the conversation, she changes the subject. "Are you guys going to hang around here tonight?"
The dark eyed girl turns to Quinn. "What do you think, babe? Wanna hang out here for a little while?"
"Sure. I could use a few drinks."
"Vodka cranberry?" Santana asks.
The blonde nods and gives her a small smile. "Yeah…"
"I'll have a gin and tonic." Anna adds.
"Coming right up."
She works on making the drinks when she notices a slinky blonde making her way over to the bar, doing her best to get her attention.
"Hey, barkeep." She says with a devilish grin.
The Latina gives her a once over and hands Quinn and Anna their drinks. "What can I do for you?"
"What can I do for you?" She says teasingly.
Santana laughs lightly to herself.
This would happen.
"How about I make you a drink?"
"Sure. Surprise me… When do you get off?"
"I'll be off in a few minutes actually."
Anna and Quinn watch the interaction between the two as Santana mixes the girl a drink. The dark eyed girl turns to meet Quinn's green.
"Wanna dance with me?"
"Of course…" She runs her fingers along Anna's forearm before turning her attention to Santana and the other girl. "You guys should join us."
"Sounds good," The Latina replies. The slinky blonde nods half-heartedly as Anna pulls Quinn alongside her toward the dance floor.
"They can meet up with us later."
"Yeah…"
As the two of them dance to the loud pop music, the green-eyed girl finds herself sneaking peeks over at the bar every once in a while to see what's going on with Santana. The other girl has somehow already managed to work an arm around the Latina as she whispers something in her ear. She sees the brunette smile and return the favor. She takes her hand and waves goodbye to a few people as they leave the club together. Panic rises in Quinn's stomach.
"Anna, I'll be right back, okay?"
She quickly excuses herself and takes off after the couple. As she exits the club, she sees them walking along the sidewalk and calls out to the brunette.
"Santana!"
The Latina spins around and sees Quinn. She turns her attention to the other girl. "Hey, can you give us a second?" She waits for her to walk out of hearing range before continuing. "What do you want?"
"I don't think you should do this."
"Why not? I'm tired of sleeping alone."
"Really? The way you push people away, you could've fooled me."
"Get over yourself, Q. You don't have a say in the girls I choose to be with. You're with Anna now and that's your choice."
"I didn't realize I had other options." The way she says it makes it sound like a question.
"You always have options. Look at you. You're…" Santana looks at her for a moment before finishing her sentence. "You."
"That's not what I meant and you know it."
Her blasé attitude immediately irritates her. "No, actually I don't know anymore. You're so hot and cold now. You act like you love me one minute and the next you turn into some kind of crazy person…" The Latina can feel her anger rising. "And what the fuck was that kiss about the other night? You said you needed to know something and then you walked away. Am I on a need to know basis here or what?"
"Anna asked me something and I thought it would give me an answer but it just made me even more confused. It's complicated."
She shakes her head. "You know what? I can't do this."
"Santana."
"No. I love you, Quinn. Ok? I don't know what that means exactly and I don't know if I can offer you anything like Anna can but I just do. And you can't go around kissing me like that and then tell me it didn't mean anything cause it meant something to me."
The blonde looks at her, flabbergasted. "Are you kidding me? How do you expect me to react to this information? I love you but hey, I don't know if it means anything? While you're walking out the door with some random chick you just met? You are seriously psychotic sometimes."
"I'm not the best at expressing myself. I'm sorry. I can't help it. I wish I could tell you everything I know I feel for you but you make me so crazy all the time, I just say things and they don't come out the right way."
"So what? I should break up with Anna and what? Be with you? Date you? Fuck you?"
Knowing the words are meant to hurt, she bites her lip to keep herself from lashing out. "You're so cruel sometimes."
Seeing the effect her words have on the girl, the blonde instantly regrets them but the pent up hurt and anger push her blindly onward. "No, I'm not, Santana. You can't ask me to give up something when you're not offering me anything. I offered you everything when you were walking out on me and you still left, so maybe you should think about how ridiculous you sound right now."
She shakes her head sadly as she sees the tears forming in the other girl's eyes. "This is what it's always going to come down to, isn't it? I know I fucked up, Quinn. That night you left me, I knew…"
Anna appears beside them, stumbling out of the club.
"Hey, there you are…" Her tone goes from carefree to concerned when she sees Quinn's face. "What's going on?"
The blonde shakes her head in an effort to dry her tears. "Nothing."
"I was just leaving."
"San—"
"I'll see you guys around."
She turns around and leaves them standing there on the sidewalk. Having forgotten about the slinky blonde, she almost starts when she appears beside her. She lets her walk with her for a few blocks before bidding her goodnight.
[\\]
The next day passes Santana by in a blur. She goes about her routine as she usually does, arriving at the coffee shop on time and helping the band set up but she doesn't feel as if she's really there. It's crowded but Santana doesn't see anyone. She feels lost and hopeless, as if she's a speck of dust floating aimlessly in the air, no real purpose assigned to it.
The attention doesn't feel as welcoming as it usually does. All the eyes that look at her or try to meet hers seem to look right through her as if she isn't really there. As if she doesn't really exist. It feels like it's all a dream, one she hopes to wake up from. Even the music doesn't sweep her away like it usually does but she closes her eyes and goes along with it the best she can.
"All along it was a fever,
A cold sweat hot-headed believer.
I threw my hands in the air and said, 'Show me something,'
He said, 'If you dare come a little closer.'"
Her mind wanders to Quinn. She wonders what she's doing. She wonders if she's thinking about her.
"Round and around and around and around we go,
Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know."
She remembers the first time she saw her on the subway. She remembers words and sounds and feelings. She remembers lips.
"Not really sure how to feel about it.
Something in the way you move,
Makes me feel like I can't live without you.
It takes me all the way.
I want you to stay."
When the song ends, there's applause but it feels empty and ends up sounding like a bunch of background noise to her. She looks down to notice her phone blinking and sees she has a text message.
I know things between us aren't the best right now but I still want you to come tmrw night.
The Latina sighs softly to herself.
Ok.
Send.