The coffee shop is still relatively empty when Santana arrives and starts setting up with the band. She checks her phone every so often waiting for a text from the blonde or expecting to see her walk in through the front door. Ever since their night on the roof, things had been going great for them. It was as if everything was falling into place, almost as if they had picked up after the day they had met on the subway. Sometimes it was hard for the Latina to believe that all the things in between had really happened. There was a naïveté about their love to which the girl couldn't decide whether or not was healthy for them. Regardless, she let herself be swept away with it-with the scent of the lavender and the tender kisses, the feeling that they were invincible. Though every once in a while, she would look at the girl across the room and there would be a tiny crack in the armor, and a realization that the faint memories of things in between the time they met on the subway until now had been real. She would fight off this realization by holding her, kissing her, tasting her, and eventually it would subside. But as the days progressed, the cracks became more apparent, causing the girl to become very scared she was losing the one thing she had fought so hard for: Quinn.

Distracting herself with the task at hand, her heart skips a beat when she finally catches sight of her as she makes her way toward her.

"Hey," The blonde greets her with a small smile and leans over to kiss her.

"Hey, back." She gives her a chaste kiss as she works on setting the microphone up.

"I'll wait at a table until you can talk?" She gestures toward the tables to her left.

"Sounds good. See you in a bit."

She watches as the girl takes a seat, fidgeting with her clothes and phone every so often. The gestures make Santana nervous so she tries to hurry and finish setting up the equipment as fast as possible. When she finally makes her way over to her, she feels a sort of hollow feeling sitting at the pit of her stomach. Her defense mechanisms start to trigger so she quickly tries to make small talk before her tongue gets the best of her.

"How was your day?"

"Pretty good. Amy and I really like the kids we're working with. What about you?"

"It was fine. So…"

"I missed you." She reaches over to press her hand against hers.

Instead of calming her, the words send her into a dizzy spell of confused panic. "Q, what's going on?"

The blonde withdraws her hand. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I know there's something that you have to tell me and we keep dragging it out and it's becoming unbearable."

The girl nods as if she saw this coming. "I'm sorry."

"So, what is it?"

She sighs. "Look, if I could just explain something—"

"Just tell me and then explain afterward."

"Okay… A while ago Betty and I had discussed me going to Korea to teach English there for a little while. It wasn't a big deal at the time because it wasn't a sure thing but recently she told me that they're interested in doing it."

A cold sweat breaks out over Santana's body. She hears the words but she can't seem to fully process them. Suddenly, all the memories of everything they'd been through together hit her. They don't carry the same hurt that they used to but rather remind her of the reality they had been trying to escape. She sits there not sure how to respond causing the blonde to nervously fill the silence.

"I think I'm going to tell them I don't want to do it anymore."

The Latina sits there for a little while longer.

"Please, say something, San."

"I… I don't know what to say."

"Anything would be better than nothing."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I wanted us to be able to stay in our own little happy bubble if only for a little while longer. We've been through so much together… I thought we deserved it… I think I needed it… I realize now that I was probably being selfish. I just wanted us to be normal for once."

"Normal is overrated."

"Sometimes I think it wouldn't be so bad."

"The normal you're talking about isn't real though, Q. That kind of normal doesn't last. We both know that better than anyone… Part of it is my fault. I think I wanted to ignore it as much as you did but we both knew it couldn't last forever."

"So, what now?"

"I don't know…"

Seeing the storm in the other girl's eyes, she speaks evenly so as not to upset her further.

"I need some time to think about things. It's a lot to process… I think that this is a decision we need to make together."

The girl looks at her now, eyebrow raised. "Do you want me to go?"

"I—"

"I mean go as in… here. Leave here."

"If you think it's best."

The blonde bites her lower lip and gives a slight nod. "Okay." She removes herself from her chair and stands up to leave.

The whole scene panics Santana, as it feels a little too familiar. She remembers watching her walk away. She remembers not being able to stop her. She remembers how she never looked back. The blonde reaches the door of the coffee shop before she calls out to her. "Quinn."

Their eyes meet briefly as the girl turns at the sound of her name, her hand resting on the handle of the door. Striking green against Santana's dark chestnut. A look passes between them as they both know that it's not about words anymore, but rather a sad sort of acknowledgement of their current situation. The girl leaves the coffee shop as the brunette watches her go. It was worth it, she thinks, if only to see her face one last time.

[\\]

The blonde sits in her living room with Amy and Jeremy spread out beside her. Having already eaten and kept the conversation light, she knows they're here for a reason.

"So, what did she say?" The brunette says not being able to control herself.

"Not much. Just that we need to make the decision together so we'll talk about it soon. I think I'm ready to get everything out on the table but I'm not sure what I'm going to say… Not sure what I'm going to do either."

"It's not an ideal situation but I think you guys will be okay," Amy says trying to make her friend feel better.

It doesn't seem to work too well though because Quinn only nods somewhat sadly. "I hope so… Going to Korea seemed like the thing to do at the time but I'm just not sure anymore. Now I have a reason to stay."

"I think Betty would understand if you decided not to do it."

"But at the same time, when am I ever going to get the opportunity to go to Korea again? If I don't go, what if I get offered a similar opportunity? Do I just say no every time? This is seriously killing me."

Jeremy scoots closer to her and puts an arm around her shoulder. "Hey, listen to me, Q. Things are going to be okay. You'll make the right decision for both of you, I'm sure of it."

"It's just so weird. When I'm with her, it's kind of like nothing else exists. We're together and we love each other but then when we're apart, I start to question things. There's a certain uncertainty about things between us that I can't shake. I don't know if I'm just scared of losing her or what it is, but if it's like this now, I can't imagine what it will be like if I leave the country again… I don't think we could survive it."

"What are you afraid of?"

"The second I get on the plane, she'll change her mind. Maybe she'll find another girl to hook up with. I just don't know. I saw how she was with Haley. I know she loves me but sometimes I'm not sure if it's enough. We've spent the past however many days pretending like we never hurt each other but the thing is that we have, sometimes without meaning to. We've gotten past it but I kinda feel like this is it, you know? And it's not just Santana it's me, too. I find my own little ways to fuck things up because the truth is no matter how much I want to believe in the whole notion that love can last a lifetime, I keep thinking about how miserable my parents made each other." She sighs exasperatedly. "But then there are times when it's just like god, we're perfect together… Almost like we're… I don't know."

Amy and Jeremy exchange a look, seeing the exhaustion take a toll on their friend. Finally Amy speaks up. "You guys just need to talk it out. See where your heads are at."

The blonde nods. "You're right. Anything is better than this."

She picks up her phone, deciding to text Santana.

I'm ready to meet when you are.

[\\]

The Latina sighs as she rests her head against the tattered wall of the pub. She reads Quinn's text but not knowing how to respond, she puts her phone down. Brittany sits across from her in their booth as she picks at the nachos in front of her, only eating the ones with that don't have green onions on them.

"I feel like going to sleep for five years straight and then waking up when things seem a lot less complicated."

"I think that's only possible if you kill yourself and then have your brain frozen."

"The science nerds are going to outlive all of us."

"So, what do you think you guys are going to do?" The blonde asks curiously.

"I don't know… You're supposed to be helping me figure it out."

The girl chuckles, "Sorry, I've never been in this situation before so I don't know what I'd do either… Did she say how long she'd have to be gone?"

"Not exactly. I didn't think about asking. Not that it matters since it would feel like forever no matter how long she was gone… The worst part is that when she told me she was thinking about not going I was actually happy about it. Now I feel like a selfish shithead for even thinking it."

"It's understandable though. She must feel the same way if she's thinking about staying."

"I just don't think it's fair. There's no good way to go about it. If she stays, she could end up resenting me for it and I don't like thinking that I'm the only reason she'd be staying. Feels like a little too much responsibility. On the other hand, I want her to stay so badly. We're finally in a good place. Such a conundrum."

"Huh?"

"Sorry, Quinn's been making me read these flashcards she makes up for her students and it makes me feel like I'm back in school studying for the spelling bee."

"I never studied for those things."

"One time I was disqualified for commenting on one of the judge's outfits."

"Bitches."

Santana laughs in spite of herself. "Word."

"Well, at least you guys are finally talking things out. Neither one of you left in tears, that's a step up."

"True… I actually managed not to say all the wrong things for once. Has maturity finally caught up with me?"

"Or are you just whipped?"

The Latina glares at her. "God, bite me."

"Well, I guess that answers that." The blonde says teasingly.

"Briiiittttt, you're supposed to be making me feel better."

"That's what the beer is for."

When the girl still glares at her, she gives a small sigh.

"Okay, okay… Well, let's look at it this way: do you want to be with Quinn?"

"Yes."

"Would her staying or going change that?"

"No…"

"Well, you have to let her know that then."

"You're so smart."

"Most people would disagree with you."

"Most people don't matter."

The Latina pulls out her phone and shoots a quick text to Quinn.

"Ok. When/where works for you?"

The girl's response is almost immediate.

"Let's meet on my rooftop tmrw night around 8."