As the Latina makes her way to Quinn, her heart pounds loudly in her chest. Her blood rushes to the edges of her skin, feeling as if it's trying to find a way to escape her body. There's a dull pounding in her head as she takes a step toward the apartment building across the street. She makes her way inside, the door feeling like it weighs more than she can carry.
This is it. Please, god, say the right things.
She presses the elevator button. Waiting. Trying to remember her words. Failing. Trying to steady her heart. Pounding. Trying not to panic. Panicking anyway.
[\\]
The blonde stands by the edge of the rooftop watching the lights of the city shift in front of her eyes, never staying still for more than a moment. They chase one another from building to building as people hurry about on the sidewalk. Many have their heads down as if they're focusing on what awaits them whenever they get to where they're going. She wonders where these places these might be, or whom they're going to meet.
Part of the reason the cityscape had become one of her favorite things about New York was the ambiguity of it all. She found that it calmed her to know that she wasn't alone-that everyone else was just as lost as she was. It kept her from losing herself.
As she stares out into the night, a cool breeze washes over her, carrying a soft voice along with it.
"Hey."
She turns around to see the familiar brown eyes that she had come to love, the warmth of them filling her up. A not so subtle smile plays across her delicate features as she takes them in. "You're here."
The brunette smiles at her a bit quizzically. "I've always been here, Q."
They stare at each other a little longer before the Latina finally makes her way over to her, standing next to the girl as they lean against the short wall surrounding the rooftop.
"It's pretty tonight," The girl remarks, a far away look in her eye.
Quinn nods in agreement. "It's always pretty."
They stay like this for a few moments, letting themselves enjoy the simplicity of one another's presence before Santana breaks the silence. "I feel like there's so much to say… I'm not really sure where to begin."
The blonde smiles a bit, "I know the feeling."
"The thing is, I don't want you to go, Quinn…" She feels the green eyes find their way to her as she looks back out at the sky. "But more than that, I do want you to go… Because I know it will make you happy."
The Latina hears the sharp intake of breath she takes, the girl's words coming out as she releases it, "I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything… I know you felt like maybe you had to stay here for me but that's not the case. I can take care of myself and as much as I'd like to see you every day, we need to be reasonable about this. I'm not going to be the one to hold you back."
"I thought you didn't like being reasonable."
"It's not that I like it. Like you said though, sometimes we have to be practical about things."
"Yeah…" She bites the side of her cheek, looking away from the girl now.
"Have I said something wrong?"
"No, you're right. I know you're right… Part of me wanted you to ask me to stay… Even though I'm not entirely sure that it would've changed the outcome of things… I just don't know what it means for us now." A hint of sadness seeps out of her words as she feels the girl's eyes studying her.
"I know what it means for me… It means that I have to let you go a little bit longer… Before, I thought that letting go meant walking away from someone. I know now that I was wrong. It just means letting someone be happy apart from you. As long as you want me, I'll be here… I'm not saying it won't be hard not being able to see whenever I want to because it will. When you love someone you just want to them all to yourself."
There's a pause before the blonde speaks. "Santana, I—"
"Quinn, I need you to know something…" She takes the girl's hand in hers, looking into blazing green eyes, their intensity matching hers. "I'm so in love with you… In a way that makes sense past the next few months or even the next however many years. I think I have been ever since the first time I saw you on the subway. Not because I knew who you were or even because you were so beautiful, I couldn't help but stare at you the whole eight blocks it took to get to my stop, but because when you looked at me, I suddenly started trying again… I was lost and you've made me a better person just for knowing you... You kept me from giving up on myself and for that, I think I've always loved you… I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."
The girl's breathing is ragged as the words make their way to her ears, and as they do, she allows herself to hear them. They're words that cause her entire body to radiate warmth, words that make her feel whole in places she didn't know felt incomplete. They're just words, yes. But there's a meaning behind them, a sincere plea. There's a look in the other girl's eyes that says everything her words can't.
Quinn's head feels heavy and dizzy. Her tongue feels swollen so that when she tries to talk, no words come out. So instead she kisses her. She flings her arms around the girl's neck and brings her into her. It's a passionate kiss. It's a kiss that forgives, a kiss of promise. It's a kiss that quells any lingering insecurity. When she opens her eyes, she can't help the smile that overtakes her. She plants tiny kisses along Santana's jawline, soaking her in.
"I have something for you," The Latina says as she smiles.
"What? No, I don't need anything more than this," She says giving her a playful kiss.
"Don't worry. It's not that exciting… Dance with me?" Santana pulls away for a moment to take out her phone and queues up some music.
The opening of the song causes Quinn to smile widely as she quirks an eyebrow at her. "I thought you didn't get this song?"
"Maybe I do… Also, it's the Louis Armstrong version so there's that."
The blonde laughs and throws her arms back around her as they sway to the music. She buries herself in the girl's neck and sighs contentedly. Not fully believing the girl is real. She sings softly into her ear, as if telling her the things she couldn't find the words to say herself.
"When you press me to your heart,
I'm in a world apart,
A world where roses bloom.
And when you speak angels sing from above,
Everyday words seem to turn into love songs.
Give your heart and soul to me,
And life will always be,
La vie en rose."
As the trumpets play out the final moments of the song, Santana dips her a little causing the girl to laugh to again. As the girl draws closer she smiles into her kiss.
[\\]
The day Quinn leaves New York the weather is stale. It's neither bright and sunny or entirely overcast; the air just seems to hang there heavily. With her suitcases already packed in the taxi, the blonde sits anxiously in the back seat waiting for them to approach their destination. The rush of the late afternoon traffic seems to have died down as he pulls over to the curb.
"I'll only be a minute," She says to the driver as she gets out of the cab.
She approaches the club, taking a minute to take it in as seeing it in the daylight makes it looks so different. As she enters, she sees the brunette talking to the managers behind the bar. A soft smile plays across her lips as the memory of a familiar scene plays in her mind.
"Santana, right?"
The girl spins around, a playful smile on her lips. "Subway girl?"
"I'm not sure I'm sold on the nickname," She says as she leans across the bar to give her a kiss.
"You ready?"
Quinn nods affirmatively as the Latina says goodbye to the managers and they leave the club together. Their taxi ride to the airport is mostly silent as they just sit in the back seat holding each other. The brunette occasionally leans over to plant small kisses along Quinn's face and collarbone as she uses her fingers to gently trace up and down her spine. Trying to memorize her body while she still has the chance. The other girl rests her head on her shoulder, holding onto her tightly. Losing herself in the vanilla.
Once they reach the airport, they remove Quinn's luggage from the trunk and make their way inside. It seems that everyone except for them is hurriedly moving along, as they walk slowly as possible to the security check in. When they've gone as far as they can go, they stop and face each other for a long moment.
The blonde sighs a little sadly. "Goodbyes suck."
"You won't be gone that long. Don't think of it as a goodbye." Santana pulls her close by grabbing onto her jacket.
"Is this our version of a happy ending?" Quinn laughs lightly.
"Happy endings are overrated."
"You think most things are overrated."
"True… But especially happy endings."
"Why's that?"
"Real love stories don't have endings, Q." As she says it, she draws her into a sweeping kiss.
They lose themselves in each other for a little while longer, ignoring the curious onlookers. When they finally pull apart, they lean in for one final, chaste kiss. There's a certainty in the kiss that comforts both of them as Quinn reaches down to pick up her suitcase.
"I'll see you soon," She says with an airy smile.
The Latina nods. "See you soon."
The blonde turns around and makes her way into line. Santana watches her as she gets swept away in the crowd of people, her delicate figure moving further and further away from her. For some reason, she doesn't feel panicked. She doesn't feel the need to call out to her. Perhaps for the same reason, Quinn turns around to face her one last time without her provocation. A knowing smile splayed across her beautiful lips.
A/N: So this is where I had originally intended to end the story but I'm open to the possibility of adding an epilogue later on if there's enough interest. I'd also like to take a moment to thank all of my readers for their continued support. Means a lot. x