Hey guys! I cannot tell you how beyond sorry I am that I haven't updated in so looong! I almost never take so long to update; I try to update every 2 or 3 days. But I've had exams, band competitions, and writer's block. Also, I've taken a hiatus on almost all my stories except for Cinderella, but, sadly, it's ending in 1 more chapter. Anywho, a major apology to you! I just finished reading Divergent for the 7th time and Insurgent for the 5th, so I decided to update this story.

On a different note: YAYAYAYAY! 42 REVIEWS and only two chapters! You guys are the best! I love you! Thank you so much. This chapter may not be that great, but I'll try my hardest.

Happy Reading!

Tris

I laid on my side, curled up into a ball, trying to get rid of the pressing grief. This happened every night. I would hold up the weight of the sky during the day, and then it would all come crashing down on me at night.

I hated it. I hated grief, I hated the things that caused it, and I hated life in general.

I tried not to think about my brother and my best friend, both of whom I lost that night. My fault. Always my fault. And it killed me that I always tried and tried, but it was never good enough. All I wanted that night was to have a good time, but even that was too much to ask for.

Finally, I allowed myself to look at the picture that sat on my bedside table. I showed me, my best friend, Christina, her boyfriend, Will, and my beloved brother, Caleb. We were the golden group of friends.

And now only fifty percent of us remained.

A sob finally flew through my mouth, the animal inside of me coming out. I was wrenched forward into the bed, and I cried into the pillow to muffle my sobs.

And I had to go through this every single night. But it was only a small price to pay. I deserved this pain, I told myself over and over.

I tried to steady my breathing, tried to go to sleep, but the effort was futile. I couldn't sleep. I had nightmares. Even now, I could see the nightmare in the corners of my consciousness, ready to swoop in when at last sleep would engulf me, but over and over again, I fought it off.

And I felt selfish for it.

I heard a noise coming from the hall. I froze. Who could be awake at this time of night? Well, besides me, of course.

I tried to remain still, tried to keep in my pathetic cries, but only succeeded in muffling them. I heard a floor board creak, and then silence.

I sighed in relief as I realized that whoever it was - Mom, Dad, or Four - had probably gone back to sleep.

And how wrong I was.

My eyes widened when my door creaked open, the light from the hall spilling in. The person cast a long shadow into my room, and was hesitant as he walked forward.

It was Four.

If I hadn't been so tired, so upset, I might have snapped at him, commanded him to get away from me. But I was tired and upset, so I didn't protest. I just pressed my face into the mattress so that it would soak up my tears and he couldn't see my face.

"Beatrice?" he said softly, hesitantly. I tensed.

I focused on my breathing. In, out. In, out. He tried again.

"Beatrice?"

This time, I sat up and looked at him, avoiding his eyes.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" I asked hoarsely.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" he shot back.

"Shouldn't you?" I countered.

He was silent for a second.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" he said in a quiet, still voice.

"No," I said sharply. He sighed.

"I don't understand you at all. First, you hate me for some unknown reason. Second, I'm trying to be nice to you, but apparently, you're too good for that. And third, you obviously don't want me here, so why pretend that you do in front of your parents?"

I took in a sharp intake of breath. Anger started to rise within me, a snake ready to strike. How dare he say any of those things?! He didn't know a thing!

But a part of me, the logical and fair part, knew that I was being fair to him. Here he was, basically an orphan - for what reason, I still don't know - and I was acting like I hated him. But hate was the wrong word for what I felt towards him. Perhaps it was resentment.

"You don't know anything," I said quietly.

He crossed is arms. "You're right, I don't. But that doesn't make the way you've treated me right."

Before I could say another word, he swiftly turned on his heel and strode out, closing the door quietly behind him.

A part of me did feel pretty guilty. But I shrugged it off. The last thing I needed was more guilt. My eyes pounded, and I collapsed into the pillows, giving in to the nightmares.

When I woke up the next morning, my eyes were red with dark circles under them. I frowned. This wouldn't do. If my parents found out that I was still crying myself to sleep every night, they'd send me to counseling. I shuddered. What a simply horrifying thought.

I sighed as I went to the bathroom and applied my almost never used makeup to cover up the evidence of my grief. It was like a mask.

After getting ready for the day, I walked down to the kitchen. Mom was standing at her usual place by the stove making eggs, while Dad sat at the dining room table holding a newspaper and a cup of coffee. As always, my eyes traveled hopefully to the island in the kitchen where Caleb usually sat. I knew it was stupid.

He wasn't coming back.

Four was standing somewhat awkwardly by the counter. His first morning here. I walked right past him with out even glancing in his direction.

Mom looked up.

"Hey, honey."

"'Morning, Mom! Yum, I'm starved!" That was a lie. I was almost never hungry anymore. "Are you going to add cheese?" I asked nodding to the eggs. She laughed.

"You bet! Did you sleep well?"

"Like a lamb," I replied smoothly. In my peripheral vision, I saw Four open and close his mouth, as though he was going to make a comment but thought better of it.

I tensed, waiting for him to contradict me. But he didn't.

"So what time is Chris coming over?" Dad asked from the table.

"No idea. I'll ask her."

"Food's ready!" Mom called a few minutes later.

We all went to sit at the table. My phone buzzed in my pocket; I took it out.

What time should I come over? Chris texted.

I texted her back. Um, anytime. I'm not doing anything 2day.

K. Is the foster kid there? she asked.

Ya. :/

Y the :/?

Eh. I'll explain l8r, I told her.

K. I'll be there after breakfast.

Oh, thank God! See ya then! Come ASAP. Don't feel like eating, I pleaded.

I understand. Byz.

"Beatrice, what did I tell you about texting at the table?" my mom chastised.

"Sorry, Mom. Chris says that she'll be over after breakfast."

"Sounds good!"

I started to put a little food in my mouth, trying not to gag on it as it went down. I wasn't anorexic or anything - I just didn't have much of an appetite. And cheesy scrambled eggs were Caleb's favorite breakfast.

"So, Four, how was your first night here?" Mom asked conversationally. Four's eyes darted quickly to me before he answered.

"Fine, thanks," he replied tightly. And that was sort of it for conversation.

I was in the middle of making a broken heart with my eggs, when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" I exclaimed, getting up quickly. I opened the door, eager to see my friend.

"Hey!" I said to Chris. She managed a small smile.

"Hey, Tris. What's up?" she asked, walking in.

"Life. Although it's more down that up," I muttered so only she could hear. She cracked a faint smile.

"Same here."

I led her to the table where my parents still sat, talking quietly.

"Mom, Chris is here," I said. My parents looked up, kind expressions on their face.

"Hello, Christina, dear. How are you?" Mom asked.

Christina shrugged. "Great! Just the same as always, I guess."

Mom looked hard at her for a second and then turned to Four.

"Christina, meet the newest member of our family, Four. Four, this is Beatrice's friend, Christina," Mom introduced. I looked down. Christina stepped forward and shook his hand, giving him a slightly resentful look. She probably didn't like him being here any more than I did.

"Nice to meet you," she said politely. He nodded in response.

"Yes, yes, that's great, can we go now?" I said rather rudely.

"Beatrice," Dad said sharply. "Sorry," I mumbled, but nevertheless, dragged Christina away. We walked out to the treehouse.

"I hate being around the adults," Christina muttered. "They think they know us so well. They think they can understand what we're going through. Well, they can't."

I nodded in agreement. "My parents can understand. After all, they lost Caleb, but from the way they act, I think they're over it."

"I know what you mean. I mean, my parents couldn't care less that Will" - her voice cracked on him name - "is gone. It seems like the world has moved on, yet we're still standing still. How could your parents just replace your brother like that?" she continued bluntly. I blinked.

"I've been trying to ask myself the same question," I said softly.

"I'm really sorry. I just... I know how it feels... I couldn't bear it if..." she couldn't continue. I wrapped my arms around her, and we looked out over the neighborhood from a-high. Up here in the treehouse, everything felt so free. We drew strength from each other's warmth.

"I wish we could have them back. It doesn't seem fair, does it? But maybe it's not that we're afraid of moving on. Maybe we're just afraid of what we'll leave behind when we do," Christina said, sounding a little stronger.

It was weird; Christina was always the funny, outgoing person of the group, but now she and I had become something more. Something deep.

"I think you're right," I agreed quietly. "But the question is, how do we move on and let go without leaving the things we loved behind?"

"Well," Christina said, a slightly mischievous look on her face, "we could start by playing a game of Capture the Flag with everyone."

Sucky chapter, sucky ending, yeah, yeah, I know. You don't need to tell me. I'm so sorry! The next chapter should be much lighter and fun, though. And I'm also sorry if the scene between Four and Tris was short with no fluff. But my family has adopted, and I know that it takes awhile for both sides to open up to each other. Thank you guys again for so many reviews; it means so much to me. Especially with having a hard time with kids at school and stuff. But please review! The more I get, the faster I'll update! Thanks! Love ya!