Three

Come Undone

I've seen myself in a thousand faces
Strung out on life`s path
I would add up what you mean to me
But I cannot do the math

-Vanessa Carlton

Emily's mind was racing at a thousand miles a minute, what was she going to say to him when he asked about Elizabeth. She decided just to pretend she wasn't herself.

"I-I'm sorry sir I'm not Emily." She said.

"Emily Prentiss, don't you dare do that to me. Not after what you've already done!" Derek snapped at her. That hurt her more then he could know, because while she knew what she'd done to him, he didn't even know what he'd done to her.

"I-I'm sorry Derek, look let's not make a scene here, we'll go back to my place and then we can talk there but its too hot to keep her out here." She said pointing to Emily, who was now very much in Dereks line of vision. "Come on."

She started pushing the stroller down the street not allowing time for him to ask any questions about the baby. She could feel Derek walking behind her and when he caught up with her he placed one of his hands over hers. Panicked she pulled her arm away and looked down at Elizabeth.

She stepped into the Elevator with Derek close behind her, the Elevator was so small she had to stand facing him, her chest pressing against his. For two long minutes they stood like that and she silently wished she hadn't breast fed, then her chest might not have pushed against his. She could feel her heart beat accelerate and her pupils dilate.

The door opened at her floor and she hurried out of the Elevator and pulled out the key to her apartment and sighed. She moved to the side of the stroller and unlocked the door, then pulled the stroller in after her. She could feel how awkward Derek felt just standing there.

"Let me change her and then I will be back." Emily bent down and pulled Elizabeth out of the stroller and took her into the nursery. She took as much time as she could, talking to Elizabeth who was now wake and smiling up at her.

"I know baby girl, we went for a walk didn't we?" She smiled kissing Elizabeth's head as she picked her up, nestling her in her arms she went over to the dresser. "How about a sundress huh baby girl? You like that?" She smiled pulling the pink sundress out of the dresser and carefully dressing her.

Finally there was nothing left Emily could do and she would have to go out and talk to Derek again. She took a deep breath and lay Elizabeth in the crib, turned on the baby monitor and gently closed the door. She took a deep breath and went out to the living room where Derek stood looking at all the photo's she had of her and Elizabeth.

The one he was currently holding was of her in the hospital, shortly after Elizabeth was born, she was holding her. In the photo Emily looked exhausted and sore but she was smiling, she was so happy but at the same time she was so upset she hadn't told him. Her hair was still pulled into that neat ponytail in the photo, she remember being so shocked it had stayed in.

"How long was it?" Derek asked all of a sudden.

"How long was what?" She frowned.

"Labor, how long was it, look at you, you're smiling but just minutes before you were crying, I can tell. So how long was it?" he asked.

"22 hours." She sighed. "Why are you looking at these?"

"I'm just trying to figure out why your husband isn't in any of these." He muttered still looking over the photos, this time picking one of Elizabeth up, she was laying in her crib the first day home from the hospital.

"He's not in them because I don't have one Derek." She confessed.

"Then who's baby is that?" Derek snapped, clearly he thought she'd just been sleeping around.

"Look I didn't just sleep with some random man who would sleep with me!" She snapped her blood boiling. "Her father is one of the best man I know! He would sacrifice his life for those he loved! So if you want to know who the father is well you tell me Derek Morgan!" She pulled a picture out of her wallet of a tiny baby, Derek's baby photo. "You tell me."

The emotion running across his face was one Emily had never seen before, it was a mixture of shock and anger. She assumed the shock was from finding out he was a father and the anger from her not telling him she was pregnant with his child. It took a moment for him to come around and when he did he looked crushed.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" He snapped, half yelling.

"Because I was afraid you would want me to abort and I knew I couldn't do that! I knew I could never kill another! Especially not if she came from the man I loved! A man I deeply cared for and who I had thought cared for me but tell me Morgan," She snapped his last name, something she only did when furious at him. "was I wrong? Were you just messing with me like the last man who impregnated me!"

"You aren't wrong Emily! I love you that's why I'm here! I am here because I was so terrified you were in trouble. I'm here because you haven't contacted me but now I think I shouldn't have come because if you don't care enough to tell me about my own child and you have the audacity to think I would encourage you to abort!" He snapped.

"I think considering past happenings I have reason to be worried I would have to abort!" She snapped. "Now do you want to be part of your child's life or not?!"

"You know I do Emily! I want you to have told me but since you didn't do that I want to be here now, but clearly you don't want me here!" He snapped raising his voice.

"If you're going to yell just leave, there is a sleeping child in the next who doesn't need to hear this, because even though she's young it will be there forever. Now get out!" She snapped.

"Fine!" He stormed out of the house and yanked the door shut behind her.

As soon as he left Derek knew he shouldn't have snapped at her, he knew what had happened and why she was so worried about his knowing before she had the baby. He also knew that he couldn't just leave now. So leaned against the wall and slid down into a sitting position.

He couldn't believe he had a daughter much less with Emily. He could hear her crying on the other side of the door, she was crying softly but it was so quiet he could just make out the little whimpers and sobs. He too felt tears welling in his eyes.

From next door her neighbor came back to her apartment carrying an arm load of groceries. "Are you okay?" Emily's friend asked.

"I really messed up this time." He said.

"What happened?" The friend inquired as she messed with the key to her apartment.

"I yelled at her, I shouldn't have done that." He said more to himself then to her, he could now hear Emily listening to him just on the other side of the door. "Hey Emi, I know you're listening to me so let me tell you something. The day I saw you I thought I would hate you, you just seemed so perfect and stuck up like I would expect the daughter of an ambassador to be like. I thought you were some stuck up girl who'd gone to private schools her whole life and then I got to know you. True you went to private school but you, you were something else Emily Prentiss. You made me like you, and you had your way of drawing me in. I came here because I was scared of losing you again, and I can't handle that again, I can't handle losing you. Not again." He sighed. "I know its hard to believe me but I do love you Emily."

He heard the baby start to cry and Emily get up, he also knew she wouldn't be coming back to the door. He sighed and leaned against the door, he was waiting and waiting. Slowly jetlag got the best of him and he fell asleep.

When he woke the next morning he stood and knocked on the door he heard Emily's voice from the other side asking him to wait. She opened the door, she was holding a towel around her body and she was dripping wet. She'd also been crying all night, her eyes were red and puffy and her hair was stuck to her back.

"Come in." She stood back to let him in, he looked at her and walked in, he was right she had been breast feeding the child, milk stained the dark blue towel she held to her body.

"Thanks, can we talk?" He asked

"Let me get dressed." She whispered going back into her bedroom and locking the door behind her. Part of him was hurt, when ever he'd stayed with her he – in both DC and London – she never locked her door. It felt like she was blocking him out. Which she was, very effectively at that. About five minutes later she came out of her room, her hair had been tried and she wore a red shirt and jeans.

"Emily, I'm sorry about last night but you also heard me at the door, I know you did. I-I'm really sorry for upsetting you I was just really mad that you hadn't told me." He sighed sitting on her couch.

"I know." She curled up next to him tucking her feet under her. "Are you still mad?"

"No, but I am hurt, I'm hurt you didn't tell me." He whispered reaching one hand over to tuck a loose hair behind her ear.

"I know you are, I'm sorry about hurting you but it hurt me too, but I was so afraid of what would happen, you could've lost your job." She said.

"No I couldn't have we don't work in the same department anymore but I do know you were worried, and thank you for worrying. You know you can tell me anything Emi, you know you can. Right?" He asked.

"Yeah I know."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because Derek, I didn't want to lose you. It might not seem like it at the moment but I love you, and she's my little piece of you." Emily said fidgeting with a bracelet on her left hand he recognized it, he'd given it to her for her birthday. He smiled.

" I know you love me. Everyone loves me." He winked. "Your love, Emily Prentiss, your love is special." He leaned over and did something he hadn't done in 14 months, he kissed her.

He knew she believed him when she kissed back.