Five

White Houses

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lied, wrote my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses

-Vanessa Carlton

Emily sat against the train window, she was holding Elizabeth because every time she set her down she cried. Derek handed her a water bottle and sat down next to her.

"Are you sure I can't hold her?" Derek asked. "She might cry for a few minutes but she will calm down."

"Well you can try, but she doesn't seem too keen on leaving me." Emily said passing Elizabeth his way as soon as the baby was in Derek's arms she started crying.

"no, no don't cry." He whispered, Emily knew it was hopeless and she was starting to get frustrated.

"Derek just give her here so I can nurse her, then we can both relax a bit." She sighed reaching down to pull a blanket out of the diaper bag, she took Elizabeth. Emily unbuttoned her shirt, unclasped her bra and covered her front then allowed Elizabeth to Nurse. Derek was looking at her strangely. "What?"

"You realized we're on a public train?" He asked.

"Yeah I do, trust me when the baby is crying and hungry you just stop caring." She rolled her eyes. "When we get there it will be about Lunch time, they will let us eat with them but you will have to eat a fixed amount and sit still while doing it."

"That doesn't sound like lunch." He grimaced.

"Its not, its hard enough when you're an adult who isn't Anorexic, imagine being Anorexic, fourteen and on your period for the first week you were there." She said a little bitterly.

"Emi, I love you but I don't need to know that." He said.

"Well it was hell for me." She shuddered "Oh, sorry baby girl I'll stop shuddering."

They arrived an hour later and walked the four blocks to Rhodes Farm, Emily opened the gate and pushed Elizabeth's stroller through the gate. Derek hurried in front of her to open the door. She could hear the sound of the girls and boys playing before Lunch stop.

"Emily?!" The youngest of the girls, around eight, her name was Lilly and she was getting ready to leave.

"Hi Lilly, guess who I brought with me?" Emily smiled picking the girl up and setting her on her hip.

"Elizabeth?" Lilly giggled with glee.

"Yes I brought her but I also brought her father with me, Derek Morgan, see?" She gestured over to where Morgan stood towards t back.

The first thing the girl in Emily's arms asked him was "Are you the FBI agent?"

Derek couldn't help but smile "Yeah I am, and what's your name?"

"I'm Lilly I'm eight years old." She smiled a gap toothed smile and Derek felt his heart sink, she was eight? Emily had never said there would be young children here as well.

"Lilly I think its almost lunch time how about you go get the other girls okay?" Emily said. Lilly nodded and skipped off her blond curls bouncing around behind her. "hey are you alright?"

"You never told me there were small children here." Derek said.

"Well she's the youngest, this in an epidemic Derek, the girls who come here are getting younger and younger." Emily sounded stressed about this.

"Okay, okay calm down Emi. Look the kids are coming, let's take Lizi and get something to eat okay?" He said kissing her hair and taking Lizi out of the stroller and setting the car seat on the floor.

"We have a play pen for her to stay in, the girls have been so excited that they decorated it." Said a voice from behind Emily.

"Dania!" Emily said hugging the woman.

"Emily, I am glad you came it keep their spirits up to see that someone like them turned out like you did." She smiled.

"Well we're happy to be here, this is my partner Derek Morgan and this is our – my daughter Elizabeth." Emily smiled.

Derek watched the two women walk off to put Elizabeth in the play pen and the girls came down the stairs and three boys from the basement. All looked miserable as they walked into the dining room where premade meals were waiting for them. Emily came back and slipped her hand into his and led him to the table.

When she said sitting still and eating everything was hard she was putting it nicely, he didn't really get why they had to do this, but assumed it was to set an example. He was struggling with it but for Emily it seemed to have become almost second nature and he wondered how long she'd been coming here.

"Emi, how long have you been coming here?" He asked.

"Um, every Sunday since you and Garcia left." She said. "I think Dania knew I was pregnant before I did." She laughed softly, still eating and being still.

"I did but I wanted her to figure it out on her own. You were always bright Emily I knew you'd get it." Dania smiled at her.

When the three of them finally got home it was almost midnight and Derek knew something was wrong as soon as he turned the corner and saw Reid bend over the door handle, Garcia and JJ behind him.

"What are you doing picking my lock?" Emily asked.

"What are you doing with a baby?" Reid retorted, still bent over the lock.

"Fair enough, now move." Emily sighed pulling her keys out. "I expect an explanation as to why you were picking my lock and why you don't understand what a phone number is for in the morning. Garcia, you and JJ can have the pull out couch Reid for attempted breaking and entering you'll be on the floor." Emily opened the door and took Elizabeth to the nursery.

Derek hurried after her shocked at her reaction. "Emily, they were just trying to break into your house, and they know about Elizabeth, how are you so calm."

"Because I knew they were coming, if you came I knew they wouldn't be far behind, come on, you and I are in my room, is it alright if Lizi sleeps with us?" She yawned.

"Yeah its fine…" He said and followed her to the bedroom. It hadn't changed since the last time he'd seen it. The walls were a warm earthy beige and the bed spread was green and brown. There was a picture on the nightstand of the BAU team and her dresser was covered in pictured of Elizabeth. He wished he'd been with her when those pictures were taken but he wasn't. "Okay what are you going to do in the morning then?"

"I-I'm going to tell them the truth." She said turning to him, her eyes full of fear and sadness.

"Oh Emily, they aren't going to judge you, I know them you know them, they'll understand I promise." He whispered kissing her. "Now come on you need some sleep."