A/N: Thanks for your reviews. You are awesome. :)

Chapter Eleven.

Gibbs was still standing there by the workbench when he heard the front door fall shut behind the younger man. It was only then that it registered what had just happened. Cursing loudly, he ran up the stairs, two at a time, and was relieved to see that Tony hadn't gotten into his car just yet as he stepped out the house.

"Tony," he shouted out as he approached him. "Wait."

Even in the dim light of the street lamps outside, he could see Tony's shoulders first stiffen up and then relax as he slowly turned around, his left hand still gripping the handle of the car door.

"What?" the younger man asked, but his voice was missing its usual edge and humor.

"Why did you kiss me?" Gibbs asked the first thing that came to his mind, even though he realized that it was a dumb question.

"Because," Tony started and then stopped for a moment, looking Gibbs deep into his eyes. "I wanted to," he finally continued. "I'm sorry, shouldn't have done that."

"Don't apologize," the older man countered. "Why did you run?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Tony let out a bitter laugh. "You certainly didn't like it. I should have known, too, because you didn't like kissing back then, either."

"That's not it," Gibbs interrupted him, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I was just surprised, that's all."

"Okay," Tony replied, a soft smile playing on his lips, but it vanished almost as soon as it had appeared.

They looked at each other for a long moment and Gibbs felt the long forgotten quiver in his gut again. He had guessed before but now he was perfectly sure that he wanted this, wanted Tony. What he didn't know, though, was what the younger man wanted. He was still staring intently at him, his hand still resting on handle, but his expression had turned from slightly surprised to obviously confused.

"I have to go," Tony finally pressed out, catching Gibbs by surprise.

"Why?"

Tony shook his head and huffed. "Wendy."

Gibbs remained silent again, but nodded. He understood. As hard as it was for him, he knew that Tony was right. It wasn't like there were no complications in their way.

"So," he eventually said when Tony still made no move to get into his car. "This is goodbye?"

It sounded stupid even to his own ears but he had no clue, what else to say.

"No," Tony reluctantly answered, finally looking into his eyes again. "I mean, I don't know. Need some time."

"Okay," Gibbs replied and nodded, feeling his heart sink.

He knew that he would stand no chance with the other man if he let him go now because who in his right mind would choose him over a stable relationship with his all-time love? But he couldn't force him to stay now, either. Tony was quite obviously confused by his own actions and needed time to figure things out, so Gibbs would have to let him be for the moment. It wasn't like Gibbs to give up a fight like that, but then again it wasn't like him pining after a man he had last seen ten years ago, either.

"That okay?" Tony's soft voice roused him from his musings.

"Yeah."

.

Gibbs had lain down on his couch and had for the better part of the night stared at the ceiling. He was confused, surprised and just a tad hopeful, but he had no idea how to handle the whole situation. He hadn't meant to get between Tony and Wendy - it had been the reason he had left Baltimore after all - but now that the possibility was there that Tony did in fact like him for more than those couple of nights ten years previously, Gibbs felt oddly helpless. The decision wasn't in his hands anymore and he wasn't sure if Tony understood just how much he had meant to him back then and how much he still did now. Gibbs sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to remember when he had last felt like that, helpless and hopeful all at once. It would have been on that train ride when he had met Shannon and as much as the thought should have scared him, it didn't. He didn't care that Tony was a man, didn't care that it was against everything he had lived for until now. He wanted the young detective, wanted to see him again, wanted to kiss him again and wanted to hold him again. He just couldn't do anything about it at the moment, so he would have to wait. And he swore to himself that he would be patient for once in his life.

.

He didn't hear from Tony over the next few days and his mild confidence about his situation was slowly but steadily diminishing. His mind kept on replaying that kiss in the basement and he wanted to kick himself for not kissing him back to make it clear just how much he wanted this. But it was too late now and he had promised that he would give him time to think. With each day that passed without a word from him, however, he noticed that he felt a bit lonelier. He had always liked being alone, had savored in the silence, but it had changed now. He didn't know what to do about, though, so he just buried himself in his work, occasionally checking up on his case with Baltimore PD.

.

It wasn't until Balboa all but threw a file on his desk another couple of days later with a grunted "Final statements", that Gibbs got another insight in the case, though. He quickly skimmed Danny Price's report, but nothing out of the ordinary stuck out, so he turned to Tony's. He read this one more carefully and realized that while the young man seemed to be careless at times, he was very dedicated to the job and thorough in his report. That was maybe why a short phrasing caught Gibbs' eye. It was nothing obvious, Tony, himself, probably hadn't thought anything about it, but Gibbs finally connected a few dots in his mind. Tony had reported a quick exchange between Price and the accused sailor that had apparently struck him as odd and Gibbs couldn't help but agree.

Suddenly excited, he got up from his desk, grabbed his badge and gun and then checked his watch. It was already pretty late, but he would be in Baltimore soon enough. He wasn't quite sure what exactly he wanted to do, but his suspicions apparently hadn't been that far-fetched after all. The case had been closed two days previously and Gibbs internally cursed Balboa for keeping him from reading the reports for so long, but he also knew that it was his own fault as he could have stayed on the case after all. If Gibbs was right and Price was indeed a dirty cop, he wanted to confirm it first before he would voice his accusations. He would talk to the detective, would gauge his reactions and then make a decision. He didn't want to, didn't want to barge into his life – or rather Tony's – like that again, but he felt like he had no choice. He couldn't accept it, couldn't accept cops playing dirty when it was their job to prevent exactly that.

His mind was still reeling when he parked his car in front of Price's apartment complex and just as he closed the car door behind him, a familiar looking old Mustang caught his eye. It was the same car Tony had driven to see him in Alexandria a couple of days ago. He really hadn't meant to talk to both Tony and Price and he briefly entertained the idea of driving back to DC, but he was already there and the drive was long, so it made no sense not to bite the figurative bullet of having Tony there, too. He approached the apartment now and was just about to knock when he realized that the front door wasn't fully closed. He stepped closer and could just make out Tony's voice which was full of anger and denial. Gibbs winced ever so slightly when he listened to the young detective accusing his partner of being corrupted. He could almost picture Tony's face falling when Danny didn't defend himself and just confessed. A moment of silence followed when Price asked what Tony would do about it and Gibbs held his breath when the young man answered that he didn't know. Secretly, Gibbs appreciated the fact that Tony was loyal to the bone, wasn't about to just give up on his partner like that and would maybe give him a way out.

Danny said something that Gibbs didn't quite catch because he was in thought too deeply and he then heard the back door open and close as Price left his own apartment. Gibbs waited for a moment or two, trying to decide what to do before he moved to open the door to talk to Tony. The younger man's angry voice traveled towards him.

"I'm in the shoot-first-ask-questions-later frame of mind right now."

Gibbs subtly shook his head, held up one of his hands and then slowly opened the door, seeing Tony immediately relax as he took sight of him.

"Were you following me?" he asked, letting the hand, holding the gun, sink to his side.

"Had a hunch," Gibbs replied and wanted to continue as he caught sight of Tony's expression and stopped short.

He looked haggard, the rings under his eyes more pronounced than before and he was pale beyond belief.

"What am I going to do now?" Tony finally asked barely above a whisper, looking so lost that all Gibbs wanted to do was to give him a hug.

"Not my decision to make," he answered softly.

Tony's shoulders slumped and he let out a sigh, but remained silent. They stood there for a while and Gibbs simply waited for Tony to make a decision. He didn't want to be in his shoes right now. He knew what it meant to have a partner and have his back no matter what, but he also knew what it felt like being betrayed to the core by one. So he just stood there, watching the younger man, trying to keep his own feelings at bay. Finally, the younger man straightened up and then walked towards him, the lost look still in his eyes.

"Let's go," he said quietly and led the way out of the house.

Gibbs followed him without a word and only stopped when Tony had already unlocked his car.

"You really have a way to turn my world upside down, you know that?" the younger man said, a slight edge to his voice all of a sudden. "I mean, I know it's not your fault that Danny's a… dirty cop and all, but ever since you've turned up, I can't sleep, can't think straight and the hits just keep on coming."

"I'm sorry," Gibbs apologized even though he didn't really know what for.

"No, not your fault for once," Tony said, shaking his head. "It's all my mess. I should have just asked Wendy to marry me earlier. I should have never trusted Danny like I did. And I should have never kissed you."

Gibbs took a step backwards at that, feeling like he had just been punched in the stomach. He hoped his face didn't show though, as he shook his head and ran a hand through his short-cropped hair.

"If it means anything to you," he finally said, wondering why he couldn't keep his mouth shut with Tony. "I'm not sorry you kissed me."

Even in the darkness outside, Gibbs could see Tony's eyes glaze over and before Tony could hide them, Gibbs was able to see the first tears run down his cheeks. Throwing all caution to the winds, Gibbs stepped closer and then took Tony's face into his hands, softly wiping away the tears with his thumbs. Tony just let him, staring at him so intently that Gibbs lost track of what he wanted to tell him only seconds before. His eyes flickered from the younger man's eyes to his lips and up to his eyes again and seeing no resistance in them, he leaned in and kissed him. Tony's lips were still as soft as he remembered them, he still tasted like hazelnut and when Gibbs' tongue traced the younger man's lips, he opened up easily and without hesitation. Soon enough their tongues met up as they explored each other's mouths thoroughly. All coherent thought had left Gibbs as soon as his lips had touched Tony's and all he wanted to do was to stay like that forever. His arms came around Tony's hips and just as he was about to draw him closer, he felt the younger man stiffen up and then break their kiss.

"No," Tony whispered fervently, looking away from him. "No, I can't do this. I love Wendy, I can't keep doing this to her."

Gibbs felt his heart sink and his pulse quicken, but remained silent as he waited for Tony to continue.

"You can't just come back into my life like that after all these years and especially when I had finally almost, somehow forgotten about you and do this to me. You can't do this. I can't do this. You know what I'm going to do? I'll get into my car and drive home. I'll tell Wendy about Danny, hear out her opinion and then decide what I'm going to do with him. I won't think about you, won't think about what we were just doing… I need to go. I'm sorry, but I need to."

Gibbs stared at him for a moment, trying to say something, trying to do something to make him stay, but he couldn't bring himself to even move a muscle. Tony was right after all, he had no right to destroy his life like that, had no right to claim him as his own. He would have to let him go. As if in trance, he felt himself nod once. Tony did the same, opened the door to his car and got in.

"I'm sorry," he said again, but Gibbs just shook his head.

"Don't be," he all but whispered as he leaned down ever so slightly to be on the same level than the other man. "You deserve to be happy, Tony. So, go."

"You're not mad?"

"No," Gibbs shook his head, then straightened himself and with one last look at Tony, whose cheeks were wet with tears by now, he walked over to his own car, got in, started it and then drove away, aware of the fact that Tony's eyes followed his every move.

.

A couple of hours later he walked down into the basement, only now realizing that he hadn't been down there since Tony had been there. He subtly shook his head, trying to redirect his thoughts from the younger man and their latest encounter as he grabbed the bourbon. Not bothering to empty a jar of nails, he took a sip straight from the bottle. The liquid burned down his throat and it somehow helped to ease the pain in his chest somewhat. He walked over to the sawhorse at the far end of the room and sat down on it. He stared into space for a couple of minutes, forcing himself to think about a new project after he'd burned the boat that was currently taking up the space in his basement. He loved building them, but maybe it was time for something different. Just as he ran through the various options, feeling slightly better at the prospect of a new beginning, a piece of paper that was lying on the floor caught his eye.

He bent down and picked it up, only now realizing that it was Polaroid. He turned it over, expecting it to be the one of him and Tony that he had given the younger man the other day, but then sucked in a breath as he realized that it wasn't the same one. It had been taken outside and it showed Tony and him on the basketball court all those years ago. Tony had his arm around him, a smirk on his face, but it wasn't their apparent closeness that caught Gibbs by surprise now but his own expression. He was smiling broadly at the younger man and nothing indicated that he had been about to kill himself only three days previously. He looked simply happy, happy to be there, happy to laugh, happy to be with the other man. Gibbs had no idea who had taken that picture or why Tony had it with him when he had come to visit him a couple of days ago. All he knew was that it was faded as if it had been looked at one too many times – just like the one of him and Tony in that hotel room right before their fight.

Had Tony actually treasured that photo just like Gibbs had done? And what did it mean?

Or… had he blown yet another chance? Tony had made it very clear that he wanted him gone from his life once and for all and Gibbs had been determined to give him his wish, but could he still do it now that he knew that Tony maybe, somehow, somewhat might have felt exactly like he had all those years?

A/N: Yes? No? Maybe? ;-)