Halo 2 Screwed Up Version

Chapter 3: Nuts Station

... ... ... ... ...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... ...oh sorry i forgot you were here ok lets read before i start sleeping again (yawn)

The Master Chief and Johnson step off the lift into a windowed bay.

UNSC officers and crew stand by in formal uniform applauding.

Automated cameras float above the crowd.

Johnson is in full dress uniform with a purple heart on his chest which looks kind of gay.

The Chief is...as usual is in his armour because he likes showing people that he's boss.

Chief replied in more anger, "Hey RETARD! You told me there wouldn't be any cameras."

Johnson replied, "Weeeeeeeeell...I lied because you didnt wear something nice."

Chief got mad as usaual which might piss off the readers or the writer...hopefully not.

The scene changes back to high on drugs where thel is being dragged to some weird/gay device.

You can hear a few grunts chanting, "Re-tard! Re-tard!"

Tartarus replied, "You've drawn quite a crowd."

Thel is placed upright in the center with bands of energy circling each wrist.

Thel said, "If they come to hear me beg, they will be disappoointed."

Tartarus questioned, "Are you sure?"

Then randomly energy arcs came down to the wrist restraints, and from there to the elite himself.

The scene changes once more back to nuts station.

Lord Hood of abvious rank and an aide waits for the pissed off chief and johnson aproaching them.

There are other officers lined up nearby.

The two salute the man.

Hood replies, "Johnson we're lucky to have you back and as for chief...we knew you were going to survive."

Chief replied angerly, "That was rude douche nugget."

Hood ignored chief while listening to a guy whispering to hood.

Then hood turns to cortana and says, "Go ahead Cortana."

Cortana apears then says, "We have probes enroute."

Hood replies, "We are going to make this short."

Cortana turned to chief and said, "You look like a faggot."

Then she turned to Johnson and said, "You look nice."

Johnson said to chief, "Wow you wearn't kidding about cortana being a bitch."

Chief sighed, "Whatever."

Then Johnson said with a :D face, "Well at least I don't get to look after her."

Chief yelled to Johnson, "ASSHOLE!"

Hood said to johnson, "Here is your Colonial Cross Ribbon."

Chief replied in anger as usual, "What?! Don't I get a medal or ribbon?"

Hood replied in a good mood, "Nope because like cortana said your a faggot."

The scene changes back to high on drugs and the writer is starting to get pissed off because of the scene changes.

Tartartus says to all the covenant who is watching all of this, "Let him be an example of being gay."

The crowd starts cheering.

Brute guards striping the smoking armour from thel.

And of course the scene changes again.

Hood replies too commander Miranda Keyes, "Here's a ribbon for your father's actions."

Chief is still pissed which is a big haha to the writer.

The scene changes of course back to...you already know.

The elite was naked and you would of figured that the elite had a dick, but he doesn't have a FUCKING DICK.

Tartarus grabs a thingy and and sticks it on thel.

He screamed...which is funny.

FINALLY the scene changes back for the last time back to nuts station.

An alert sounds off.

Cortana replied, "Well our covenant "friends" are back."

Chief interupted, "Fucking finally i'm ready to kill."

He grabs a battle rifle and walks off.

5 hours later blah blah blah they have a bomb blah blah blah.

Chief clears out the covenant guarding the bomb.

Cortana randomly appeared and said, "Me in your head, now."

Chief sighed, "Here we go again."

Then puts cortana in his head.

Chief turned off the bomb.

Chief questioned, "How much time was left."

Cortana replied, "You don't wana know."

Chief replied in anger, "BITCH TELL ME WHAT TIME WAS LEFT!"

Cortana replied also in anger, "5 SECONDS NOW STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!"

Chief said, "Lets give the covenant back their bomb."

Cortana questioned, "What if you miss?"

Chief answered, "Bitch please! I won't."

5 minutes later blah blah blah a covenant carrier blows up from bomb blah blah blah.

Chief fell on the foward unto the dawn.

Johnson and Keyes heard the landing.

Of couse johnson said impressed, "For a big green turd, he flew pretty good."

Keyes ordered, "Chief, get inside we're are taking this fight to the surface."

Chief yelled, "HELL YEAH!"

Then they flew to earth.

YOU HAPPEH NOW...FINALLY