Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but Stephenie Meyers does. I do own Melvin and the story idea.

Moose on the Loose

Chapter 10 – Not Mine, Not Me

Carlisle

Emmett flew into the kitchen looking…well looking like nothing was going on, sated, happy, smiling. Rose followed behind him along with Jasper and Alice. Odd, they never came when he's being called out; clearly something's going on here.

"What's up momma-seeta and papa-seeta?"

"Don't you momma-seeta me mister. Youuu…you…you…left your dinner scraps on my porch and tried to cover it up with my good comforter and pillows. And let's talk about all the wall damage here and on the staircase."

"Hmmm, I could see how you'd think that this was me, but the holes in the wall are from Edward."

"Don't you dare blame my baby boy for that." Oh no, here it comes.

"Ahhh, but aren't I your baby boy too." He pouted at us, god I hate when he does that because now he's going to get all weepy.

"Yes, but…okay, but what about that out there?" The others were trying to hold back their smiles and laughter. Seriously, what in the world is going on here?

"Hey I'm not 'a that.'" I heard the talking come from behind me.

"Emmett, how did you do that? Your lips didn't even move?" I inquired.

"I said nothing that was Melvin."

"Who the hell in Sam Hill is Melvin?" Was he now making things up, he needs some psychiatric help. Maybe I need to take some psych courses next time since there aren't many vamp psychiatrists. Okay, so there were no vamp psychiatrists. The others were now snickering. Something is definitely going on here.

"I'm not sure what you all find so funny, mind sharing?" I looked at Alice, Jasper and Rose.

"Oh no, this is definitely Emmett's area of expertise. We wouldn't think about intruding on it or sunning on his parade. Emmett, go ahead." Alice encouraged waving her hand.

"Emmett?"

"Alright, but no freaking out papa smurf and smurfette or running out of the room until I'm finished. And all questions will be answered at the end of the story."

"We promise, now get on with it."

"That out there is not leftovers and NOT MINE, its Melvin, Edward's friend. Jasper made him comfortable since mom taught us how to treat guests. Melvin and his friend Harold were out partying, ate fermented apples and got drunk. Edward ate Harold and became intoxicated. Alice sent us looking for him since she had a weird vision. We had a moose funeral for Harold because Bella made us. We then found him talking to and singing with Melvin. We tried to get him to come home, but he wouldn't leave Melvin because Emma was pissed at him and he couldn't go home. Emma's his wife. We helped Melvin out of the tree he was stuck in and then walked or in some human/vampire/moose's cases tripped home."

"What do you mean Melvin is Edward's friend?" Esme asked and I had to wonder of all that Emmett said that's what she picked up on.

"Well he's Edward's BFF; they were laughing and singing up a storm when we got there. We were also told that Moose are friends not food or some weird shit like that so we couldn't eat him. Go, ask Melvin yourselves." Jasper confirmed waving in the direction of the porch.

"Alright." Esme said and turned back to said moose, "so it's Melvin, right? Would you care to comment on this?" She inquired while clinging tightly to me.

"It's just like Emmett said. Edward and I got a bit drunk, unfortunately Harold didn't make it, but Edward promised not to eat me. You're really pretty Esme."

"WHAT THE FUCK, stop hitting on my wife!"

"HOLY SHIT, daddy-o you cursed!" Emmett exclaimed with glee.

"Knock it off Em, damn beast hit on my woman; you'd do the same thing."

"Well I did when he hit on Rose." Wonderful, only we would get stuck with a playboy moose.

"Let's get back to what's going on here. Edward's really drunk from eating Harold? Is he okay?" I think an examination may be in order, but right now I wanted to be sure I had all the facts.

"Edward's fine, he had a little issue with his balance as you can see from the walls. And the damn dude snores like a beast. You should have heard him last night when he finally fell asleep, sounded like a hibernating bear was in here."

"What the hell do you mean sleeping and snoring? We don't sleep." I was seriously starting to become concerned that the effects of eating that moose might have been like human's having food poisoning.

"Well he was; right guys?"

"Most definitely." Jasper confirmed and Rose and Alice nodded their heads.

Meanwhile Upstairs

I felt so good and snuggled closer to Edward. His arms held me tighter and that's when I felt his hard length poking my stomach. Hmmm, in bed with naked and aroused Edward, I need to take full advantage of this turn of events. Was there some question there? I slid my hand down and grasped him which made him moan and flip onto his back, perfect. I quickly moved down and engulfed him in my mouth causing his eyes to fly open. He looked at me and smiled, then let out a small purr. Yeah, I did that, me.

I swirled, nibbled and sucked him like my life depended on it. His hands came down and fondled my tits while I fondled his balls. He let out that hot purry-growly sound like last night and I knew he was there; so on the last time down, his tip hit the back of my throat and I hummed. He lost it and his cool icy deliciousness glided down my throat. He was a panting mess. When he stopped cumming, I slowly released him from my mouth with a pop and placed a kiss on his tip.

The smile that was on my face was probably as big as the ocean as he pulled me up to his face which had a similar smile and his eyes were glowing.

"Good morning," I whispered.

"It certainly is," he whispered back and kissed me fiercely. Pulling back we began to snuggle into one another falling back to sleep until….

Back to the Kitchen and Carlisle

"What is that noise?" Esme asked.

"Sounds like Edward, maybe growling or moaning. He must be sick from eating that tainted moose." That's all I had to say and Esme was beside herself with worry.

"Oh my god, my poor baby. Carlisle, grab your medical bag, we need to get up there."

In a move that took us by surprise, Emmett and Jasper grab the two of us so we couldn't move.

"Mom, I don't think it's a good time to go up there." Jasper stated and I was really starting to worry because Jasper never did crazy things like Emmett.

"Emmett, Jasper, let me go my child needs me and your father needs to look him over."

Then there was a sound the likes I never heard and my eyes went wide and I tried to fight off Emmett. "He sounds like he's in pain."

"Mom, that would be your son snoring and the only ones in pain are those of us who have to listen to it." Well, I couldn't disagree with that assessment.

"Butttt…we…but…he needs us. Let me go Jasper." Esme demanded.

"Momma, I will let you go and Emmett dad, but you have to make us a promise."

"What is it, anything." Esme quickly agreed.

"I know you're going up there, but go up slowly and don't spook them."

"What?"

"Come on papa smurf, you've got to realize that Edward maybe hung-over a bit."

"Emmett I am not blue, nor am I a smurf. I wish you would refrain from calling me that."

"Okay, Okay, but you're short like a smurf and besides papa smurf is a smart leader just like you." Damn silver tongue devil, not only did he make it sound good being papa smurf, but distracted me from being held captive.

"Alright, I agree. Esme?"

"Yes, I do too. We will go slowly." They let us go and before we could move, the house phone rang.

"Hello?"

A/N: Please review. So who do you think is calling?