Yuri does well in therapy, and Flynn is proud of him. He ends up taking him to that crepe shop that Yuri always looks at, and even if he knows he's spoiling him, Flynn enjoys the simple happiness Yuri has on his face when treated to his favorite type of crepe. Yuri digs in, makes that borderline-kitten like noise if contentment and Flynn has to look away or he'd smile like an idiot at him and possibly ruin the image of Yuri just being normal.

If Flynn tries hard enough he can pretend they were just on a little outing, maybe a lunch date, and things were good. It was the perfect day for little outings, for lunch dates; but if he did that he'd go down that road of denial all over again. And frankly, it was time Flynn stops being in denial and just start accepting things. Yuri wasn't normal.

But even if he wasn't, he was on his way to being normal, and so long as he tries, Flynn can be happy.

He knows there's a chance Yuri may never be 'normal.' That he will always have relapses where he doesn't care, takes crazy risks, uses the people around him and is impulsive in ways he can't help. But if those were just sometimes, Flynn thinks he can handle it. He's been handling it so far.

"Yours must suck," Yuri's voice pulls Flynn out of his thoughts, and when he points the fork at him, Flynn actually doesn't tense. "Your crepe."

"It's okay." Flynn smiles to him. "Think they skimped on the cream cheese."

"Want some of mine?" Yuri smirks, scooping some of his excessive cream with his fork and holding it out to Flynn.

Flynn does hesitate. One wrong move and Yuri very well could kill him. That was always an afterthought, after the few times Yuri really got out of control…

But he trusts him. To show it, Flynn leans across the table a bit and lets Yuri feed him the forkful of cream. He's careful when he places the fork between Flynn's lips, slowly sliding it out a second after Flynn's lips close over it.

Flynn smiles. "Much better."

Sometimes, Yuri did want to stab Flynn. But seeing that display of trust, and that smile, he doesn't feel the violent twinge.

Maybe therapy was working…

"You don't say no." Yuri breathes in his ear, and Flynn shudders.

"Because I don't want to."

Yuri presses in closer, deeper, pulling a gasp out of him. "You should." he growls before he pulls away, then pushes himself back close. "Stop letting me… do this to you."

Choking groans get out before words do, and Flynn's answer only infuriates Yuri. "I want it…"

But at the same time, so did Yuri. He wants this, to keep moving into him, to keep pulling those gaspy breaths and moans from Flynn's throat. He wants him willing like this, reaching for him, aching for him, wanting his kisses and touches and thrusts. No one else would ever want Yuri like this. Not this honestly. Not this stupidly.

Yuri moves, a bit faster, a bit harder, and Flynn presses his lips against his neck as another shudder rips through him. Fiery hot sensation blankets him, a twinge of pain rips through him every few movements. Purposefully Yuri re-angles himself, changes the sensation, keeping that painful edge to the pleasure that threatens to overcome Flynn's senses.

But it doesn't feel forced. In a sense, it's careful and gentle, calculated to hurt but not too much. Flynn can't say he likes it, but at the same time, he just wants to be close to him. If he weathers this like he does everything else, maybe Yuri will realize he can't push him away. That it was okay to pull him in close, so long as he means it.

Yuri groans, pushing himself close again before he stops there and nuzzles into Flynn's hair. He just keeps them pressed close, letting Flynn cling to him as he latches back. He hears Flynn whispering to him, some words or whatever, but he isn't listening. He focuses on feeling.

He slept with Flynn countless times. But for some reason, this feels different. It's the same pleasure, the same act in general, but for some reason Yuri finds himself shaking. Finds himself clinging to Flynn and tears threatening to fall.

He tries to hold it back, but he can't. To his credit, Flynn just calms and holds him. It was the worst time to have a breakdown, but being this close, Yuri figures maybe it's okay.

Better to be sad and cry, than to hurt Flynn again.

Yuri was a month clean.

It wasn't his longest record, but it was the longest since they started living together. Flynn is proud of him. He hopes it lasts this time, and maybe Yuri will find his own quality of life improving.

"It's like I'm a woman," Yuri says randomly as he struts along the living room, a bath towel around his waist. "It's like I got a fucking period and mood swings to match."

"God forbid." Flynn jokes, keeping his eyes above Yuri's waist. "Should I go get a pregnancy test for you, too?"

"Asshole," Yuri seethes, whipping off his towel and throwing it at Flynn's head. The moment Flynn gets it off his face, Yuri was on him. "You're the one with all the estrogen in this arrangement."

"Excuse me?" Flynn raises an eyebrow, shifting his arms to get the towel back around Yuri's waist.

"You heard me. You're totally the woman." Yuri manages to not add the phrase, 'you even have the abused wife syndrome.' Sometimes he can think wisely.

"You can't provoke me into jumping you, Yuri." Flynn replies coolly. When Yuri's eye ticks, he smirks. "Nice try."

Once more Yuri flings his towel off and away from them, Flynn's eyes going to follow. Movement from Yuri snaps his attention back, and his eyes widen as Yuri runs his hands down his still damp body, inching further and further down. Yuri grins, closes his eyes and softly gasps when his hands reach himself below.

Flynn lasts maybe two minutes before he pulls himself further up and flips Yuri onto his back on the couch, the long haired man cackling proudly before a kiss silences him.

It was improper, and Flynn knew Yuri was doing it because it was just one of his problems. It sort of erased his 'month clean' record.

But Yuri actually seems happy to kiss him back, and Flynn doesn't let it upset him anymore.

Trying was the best either of them could do. But even if Yuri tries, he still finds himself curled up in an ashamed little ball in the back of Flynn's car, hugging his knees and shaking. Flynn is silent at the wheel, taking them home. He doesn't even bother telling Yuri to sit properly and buckle up.

Yuri tried. He stuck to the therapies, stuck to the regime, let Flynn do what he was told by the doctors to do but he still ended up running away from home. Got himself into a fight and the cops had to intervene. He was lucky they couldn't prove it was anything but self defense, but he wouldn't have had the issue if he didn't run away.

Normal life just wasn't for him. He always runs away from it, goes for the risks, the dangers, the things he shouldn't want or have and doesn't care what happens to anyone until moments like these where he's actually ashamed for once.

He should have let that thug stab him.

He doesn't notice they made it home until he feels Flynn's hand on his shoulder, but Yuri doesn't move. In this state he just wants to die. To stop failing, stop messing up, stop ruining Flynn's life. He tries but it never works out. He doesn't want to see that disappointment in Flynn's eyes, not again.

Flynn withdraws his hand and gets out of the car. If he thinks eventually Yuri would come out he had another thing coming. This time Yuri wasn't going to leave the car. He'd stay there and rot. A minute later the backseat door opens on the other side of Yuri, and he hears Flynn slide in next to him.

Yuri lets out a protesting noise when Flynn grabs him and pulls him into his arms, cradling Yuri's head to his shoulder. Yuri struggles, but only a little, before he gives up and hangs on to him. In the end Yuri can't let go of him.

"It's okay, Yuri." Flynn whispers. "You try. You keep trying. So long as you try, as we both try, it'll be okay."

"What good is trying? It doesn't do anything…"

Flynn shakes his head, raising a hand to lightly pet Yuri's hair. "You made it this far." he says quietly. "Keep trying, go farther. Soon it'll work out. But nothing gets better if you quit. Everything'll get worse again if you quit."

Yuri looks up at him, and that disappointment he was afraid to see wasn't there. Determination, love and other positive stupid emotional shit was what he saw, and Yuri lets out a frustrated whine.

"Why do you let me hurt you?" he finally asks. "It can't be worth it. The good days can't be worth it!"

Flynn smiles to him, adding to the frustrating, making Yuri melt on the inside. "I love our good days. I can deal with our bad days, if you're trying. And one day… eventually, we'll have a perfect day. One perfect day will be worth it all."

What did perfect even mean? "It can't be worth it…"

Flynn kisses his forehead. "It will be. You'll see. You keep trying Yuri, and I'll be here to help you. I'll be trying too…"

Yuri shakes his head, but he can't bring himself to be pessimistic still. Not when, for once, the whole of him was happy to have Flynn still. That he was here, that he cared.

Maybe that was something he can try for. That one perfect day. If he couldn't try for himself or for Flynn, maybe a perfect day together was something worth trying for.

He might as well.