Halo 2 Screwed Up Version
Chapter 6: The Arbiter's Stupidity
Oh hai chaptah sex here weh go...lol i like typing in a stupid way and by the way O_O i'm watching you
p.s. caution: this chapter has sexual references so no little children should be reading this
Thel woke up and he realized he was being dragged.
He looked up to see Tartarus striding down the corridor in front of him.
There are two other Brutes half – carrying, half – dragging Thel along.
The first Brute questioned upsettingly, "How much further do we have to carry this sex toy? Any cell will do. Why not toss him in this lot?"
The camera turns toward the cell full of Jackals who love sex.
Thel looked over and saw a Jackal humping a bar from the cell.
Thel got scared.
The second brute snapped back questioning, "Them? What about us? My belly aches for not having sex, and he looks like he wants it."
Tartarus, feeling disgusted said, "Quiet! Don't you ever say something like that again! The Hierarchs have something special in mind."
They stepped into the gravlift and descended into a large area.
A bridge connects to a structure in the middle.
The bridge has red elites on each side and armed with spears.
At the end of the bridge, the two doors opened.
Tartarus and the two brutes dragging Thel approached the profits, Truth and Mercy.
Tartarus and the two brutes bow then Tartarus said, "Noble Prophets who will die soon including me, except Truth. I have brought the retard."
Truth angerly said in text, "GTFO!"
Tartarus Questioned, "I don't understand what you said sire."
Truth said, "I said get out."
Tartarus said in an upset mood, "Release the Retard."
Then the two brutes and Tartarus left.
The doors closed and truth said, "The Council decided that they want you hanged."
Thel said felling depressed, "I am already dead."
Truth questioned, "Do you know where we are?"
Thel answered, "The Mausoleum of the Arbiter."
Truth said, "You are going to become The Arbiter."
Thel said, "Okay, great."
Truth said, "Dahalo's destruction was your error, and you rightly bear the blame. But the council was…being gay. We know you are no retard. This is the true face of retardation."
Truth pressed a button and a small hologram of the retard leader.
It said, "The Profits are false! Open your eyes my brothers! They would use the faith of our forefathers to bring ruin to us all. The Great Journey is-"
Truth turned off the hologram because (SPOIL ALERT) the Great Journey is actually false.
An oversized pod floats down and hovers a few feet above the floor.
The door opened from the pod.
Mercy said randomly, "You will die as each Arbiter before you."
Thel sighed annoyed and put on his helmet.
"What would you have your Arbiter do?"
1000 years later noooooooooooooooooooooooot.
Three phantom drop ships descend towards a planet which they should have said in the fucking game.
Inside the lead ship, an Elite Commander paces between the lines of troops.
Ratas Vadum I think that's his name.
Ratas said to his troops, "When we joined the Covenant, we took an oath."
Everyone said, "According to our station. All without exception."
The commander who is Ratas continued, "On the blood of our…um…I forgot the line blah blah blah, we swore to uphold the covenant."
Everyone continued, "Even to our dying breath."
Ratas of course continued, "Those who would break this oath are retards. Worthy of neither pity nor mercy. Even now they use our Lords' creation to broadcast their lies."
Everyone continued…again, "We shall grind them to dust!"
Finally Ratas said, "…and continue our march to Glorious Salvation!"
After that, Ratas turned to Thel and said, "This armor suits you, but it cannot hide that mark."
Thel replied, "Nothing ever will."
Ratas said, "Your life does not matter to me."
Thel replies, "Yeah, so. That makes two of us."
Ratas gave a respectful huff.
Then Phantoms descended towards the large mining facility above the surface.
A huge dust storm is blowing nearby.
The pilot replies in complaint, "Commander…there is no doubt. The storm will strike the facility."
Ratas replied, "We'll be long gone before it arrives."
He ordered his men to prepare for combat while his phantoms dropped off his men and the Arbiter (Thel).
Ratas continued…again…WHY DOES HE TALK SO MUCH, "Arbiter, you are the blade. Be silent and swift, and we shall quell this retardness without incident."
About an hour later.
Thel saw the retard leader boarding a banshee.
The Retard leader ordered while lifting off, "Deal with him my brothers. I will defend the oracle."
Thel got in the other banshee and drove off to find where the retard leader went.
Randomly a Phantom came out of nowhere and the pilot said, "The Commander told me to help you. So, here I am."
About a few minutes later, Thel found the retard leader's banshee and parked beside it.
The Commander followed the Arbiter while killing a few retards along the way.
Then they stopped at a door.
That's the end of the level hope you enjoyed