Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but SM does. I don't own Oreo's or any other brand name cookies in here, but have eaten most of them. I do own Melvin and the story idea.
Moose on the Loose
Chapter 17 – This Little Vampire went to Market…the Human Wished She Stayed Home.
Here's a little ditty I came up with after I wrote the chapter which gives you a good prelude of things to come!
This little vampire went to market,
This little human wished she stayed home,
This little vampire bought a ton of beef,
Those other little vampires at home had wanted none,
And this little vampire cried cumming, cumming, cumming on the way home.
Bella's POV
After holding my mate and snuggling with him, I noticed how he was now okay. It was as if I could actually feel what he was feeling and know what to do to make it all better. The same thing happened in the store but when I felt he was going to start purring, I grabbed his hand and stroked his palm with small circles with my thumb.
I wasn't really sure what was happening, but knew that we did have to talk to Carlisle, because maybe he can tell me how I knew, and what were the signs of something like this happening or what brought it on. I was scared that if something happened that I wouldn't be prepared for it. If I knew, I would be able to handle it better.
"Come on love, let's get to the market." My very excited vampire who could now eat…as in regular people food eat…not vampire snacking animals, pulled me along as we speed walked to the supermarket.
"Someone's excited." I smiled at him.
"You bet, I can EAT! I can't wait to pick stuff out. I've done this with Esme, but we never ate the stuff. This will be so different." A huge excited grin was plastered across his face.
We arrived at the store in no time since I think he was one step away from tossing me on his back and flying there. No, he can't fly…well I hope not…please no more side effects from the drunk moose.
"So how many carts do we need, four or five?" He innocently asked.
"What?" I gasped and I'm sure my eyes were wide as dinner plates. "FIVE? How much do you think we're going to need?"
"Ummm…I…I don't know, but usually that's how much Esme buys."
"Oh." Relief spread over me. "We really don't need that much; remember she's buying for seven people, three of which are growing teenage boys." I laughed.
"I do grow you know." He seductively whispered to me. I felt the heat run through me and I'm sure I was bright red.
"Quite big and hard too." I whispered back and to my great amusement when I looked at him, he was blushing too. Damn if I didn't want to drag him behind the string beans and do him. The man was too sexy for his shirt, jeans, shoes, socks and boxer shorts…yummm, no boxer shorts…yes…Edward with nothing on. Oh my god, I need to stop this otherwise we will be doing it behind the string beans or right here.
"I'll be glad to show you later."
"I'll hold you to that, now let's get inside and one cart will do."
Edward selected a cart and we headed inside. The first aisle held fruits and vegetables. I started looking at the cantaloupe, smelling it, feeling the outside and knocking on the outside with my knuckles.
"Uhh…love what are you doing?" A very puzzled looking vampire stared at me.
"I'm checking for ripeness. It has a certain scent and sound when you hit it. Here listen; this is what it sounds like when it's good." I tapped it.
"Can I try?"
"Here try it with this one." I selected one and let him give it a go. He tapped it once. "A little harder sweetheart."
"That's what you said last night." He grinned at me.
"Wise ass, focus on the melon." Hmmm, his ass was nice, crap, I needed to focus too.
"I'd rather focus on your melons." He tapped it harder. "Shit, oh, damn. What do we do?" I refrained from groaning as his fingers plunged into the melon, wishing it was me. I wanted to scream 'DO ME.'
"Uh…uuh…here give it to me. Why don't you go over to the meat counter and get some steaks. I'll finish up getting the veggies." I quickly grabbed the melon and sat it back on our cart upside down hiding the finger holes. Damn, we'll have to buy it now. We didn't want anyone trying to figure out how the fruit ended up with the holes.
"But before you go, let's see how you did."
"What do you mean?" I devilishly looked at him and then quickly pulled his hand up to my face sucking the juice off his fingers. I felt him shudder.
"Nice and ripe, excellent job, must be the vegetarian lifestyle you tend to lead."
"Baa…baab…babe, I'd suggest I go get the meat before my meat is fully exposed to all the shoppers and drives itself into your ripeness." He was breathing hard and I wasn't too well off either.
"Yea…yeah…go get the meat." I want my meat later. "Take the cart." He needed it to help hide his growth spurt of meatie goodness.
I turned around since watching him walk away probably wouldn't be a good idea. I was very hot and very bothered enough as it was. So watching his sexy self was not a good idea. I leaned over grabbing something and fanned myself. When I felt sufficiently cool, I looked at it. SHIT! I almost screamed, dropping the bag of string beans immediately.
Okay, distraction, what do we need for tonight? Potatoes, yes, they'll do nicely. I selected some corn on the cob and strawberries. They would be nice for dessert with whipped cream. I'll make it fresh. Mmmmm, eating whipped cream off Edward, him feeding me strawberries, us sharing them in bed. I need to get away from this area; clearly it's a vortex of sexual lust with all this fresh food. Who would've thought it could be that sexually charged. Or maybe it was just me who hasn't gotten my fill. Since Edward held out for so long I've got a lot of time to make up for. Yeah, that's the ticket; I'm going with that one.
I headed to the back to find Edward and as I was walking down the aisle he excitedly came running towards me.
"Edward? Everything okay?"
"It's great! Look I got Oreo's and animal crackers, they came out when I was a kid and look Lorna Doones. I've always wanted to try the doubled stuffed Oreo's, chocolate chip soft batch, ones with M&M's and peanut butter, snickerdoodles and these chocolate covered peanut butter ones."
"Yeah, of course." There were at least fifteen boxes of cookies in the cart, but I wasn't about to burst his bubble. He wanted to try them. "Did you get the meat?"
"Right here. The butcher suggested a few other things, so I got them too." That's when I noticed eight largely wrapped bundles containing the meat. I'm not sure what he selected, but Charlie was going to be in hog heaven and probably go into a meat induced coma after eating all this.
"We need to go down the other aisles to see what they have."
"Okaaaay." I was dumbfounded.
We went down a few more aisles and the cart was rapidly filling up and now we were in the one with the candy.
"Oh, we definitely need this and I've been wanting to have a Hershey bar, peeps too."
"Edward, honey." I moved next to him rubbing his arm. "Maybe you should leave a few things for Esme to buy for the house. You know she was so excited that you were eating again." I hoped that might slow him down.
"Yes, you're right; we do need to leave some things. I know, I'll just look and text Esme a few things I want, I'm sure that'll make her really happy."
"That definitely will." I smiled and I know Esme will be beside herself.
After a few more aisles and several texts later, we headed to the checkout. Our cart was overflowing and this was with Edward having slowed down. I can't imagine what he would've bought if I didn't slow him down.
We worked together getting the stuff on the belt for the cashier to ring up. Things went smoothly and the kid bagged stuff and put it back in our cart. I dug in my bag to get my wallet to pay. I looked up to see the total and gasped.
"Excuse me, that can't be right."
"I assure you ma'am it's right." The cashier said.
"But how could this cost $425?" I waved my hands towards the cart.
"Well the meat alone was about $200."
"Whaaat? Edward, what kind of meat did you buy?"
"Just the usual, some angus steaks, chop meat, oh and these great filet mignons."
"Filet mignon?"
"Yes, the butcher said it was the best and I figured it'd be a nice treat for Charlie and you too." Oh my god, the guy sold him the most expensive meat there is.
"Oh."
"Was it the wrong kind?" He looked worried that he had done something wrong. He needed to know that he did nothing wrong.
"No not at all. It's fine; you did a great job selecting the meat and other things." He smiled that crooked smile at me and I was a gonner. How do I tell him that I don't have that kind of money with me. "I just…ju…just don't have enough…well…ummm…"
"Come on let's go."
"But I need to pay?" With what I had no idea. Did they take I.O.U.'s? Maybe a nice smile?
"I just did while we were talking." How did I miss that? "Now, did you think I was going to come to your home without anything in hand after being invited to a lovely home cooked meal by my fiancée? And since I can't buy beer, this was the next best thing."
"Thank you, that was very sweet." I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled to let him know I did really appreciate it. He grabbed my hand and we headed out together.
After everything was loaded in the car, which barely fit in the trunk, we drove out of the lot and onto the main road. We only got four blocks before he pulled into another lot and I looked up to see the golden arches.
"Edward, what are we doing?" Surely he can't be hungry.
"I'm dying for a big mac and french fries. You, know two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun." He sang, I looked at him. "Sorry, 1974 was a very sunny year and Em had us all watching TV. He was singing that song all the time, so it stuck in my head." I could understand that.
"What did you guys watch?"
"You had to see he had us all hooked on different shows he liked. For Jasper it was MASH, Alice loved Happy Days. She went so far as digging out her poodle skirts and dancing after the show. It was quite funny and sometimes we'd join in."
"You danced."
"I did, it was fun and Esme asked since Carlisle was working." He shrugged.
"Alice also loved that show 'Alice' because Alice worked in a diner and that's where she met Jasper." I could see that. "Jasper would even come and join her to watch it."
"That's sweet. I bet we'll look at shows taking place in high schools and think about where we met too someday." I thought about how Alice felt and understood perfectly the reminiscing.
"I know biology will never be as exciting as it was that day you walked into the room and into my life." Funny how he can look back on that day and call it exciting when he wanted to eat me and not in a good way either.
"What was Rose, Carlisle, Esme and Em's favorites?" I just couldn't wait to hear.
"Esme's was Charlie's Angels; she insisted that she and the girls could totally be them. And, Rose's was the Bionic Woman, said that could be her now." I had to laugh; I could just see Rose thinking that.
"What about Carlisle?"
"Oh, he was resistant at first, but Em wheedled his way in by telling him about this great doctor show Marcus Welby MD, that it could be him and the young assistant doctor could be me."
"Well the young doctor was a bit of a hottie and drove a very cool for the time motorcycle. You could totally pull that off." Man could he.
"You know about that show? I could pull it off." He smiled.
"Reruns. Besides when you live in Phoenix and the temperature outside is a hundred and five, you stay inside in the air conditioning. I had plenty of time to watch them."
"Never thought about it that way. You know he started watching that and before you knew it he was hooked on all the medical shows. There were quite a few then as it was part of that cycle where that type of show there were many. Sometimes the cycle is police, investigators or lawyers. He was so hooked on that show Emergency because it was something really new; people never realized that an ambulance didn't do more than transport you to the hospital back then. The EMT's were few and far between and it was also the start of pushing to have more of them and more training. No one was allowed to talk during the show."
"What about Em?" I loved learning all these things about my new family.
"He loved everything, especially SNL since that was their heyday. You have no idea what we went through after the Landshark skit. He would ring the doorbell of the house and when Esme asked who it was, he said candygram. Esme asked who sent her a candygram, but then the curiosity got the better of her and she opened the door to Em in a shark outfit. Naturally, she didn't know it was him at the time and screamed. Carlisle came running down the stairs and went right through the front door to get in front of her."
"Oh my god that is a riot. But when did they figure out it was Em."
"When the shark started laughing and then we all started laughing because no one figured out that sharks don't come on land and we're vampires who could've easily killed it. Of course, The Six Million Dollar Man was his ultimate favorite as he insisted he was worth that at least and Bionic Woman needed to have her man. You should've seen him doing the slow motion run in the house, it was seriously funny."
"I bet it was. I should ask him to do it for me sometime."
"Not if you don't want to have to watch the shows with him. He has recordings of a lot of them. We had a VCR back then. Do you want anything?"
I found myself saying, "Yes, I'll have a vanilla shake. They're really good from here, made with real milk and taste like ice cream. I love them." I licked my lips thinking about it.
"A shake for milady." And proceeded to wiggle himself in the seat which made me laugh.
"You're such a goof." This was really fun.
He ordered a few things, plus my shake. We pulled over for a moment and he wolfed down the big mac and fries, heading back on the road towards home.
"God this is good." I moaned sucking the creamy goodness up the straw. "Mmmmm."
I glanced over to see Edward shudder. I popped the straw out of my mouth, but a drip formed on my lips as I swallowed.
"UGGGGGGMMMMM." Edward groaned and leaned over licking the cream off my lips.
"Fuck." I whisper and watched him try to adjust himself. That wasn't happening since I could tell he was fully erect. The only thing that was going to help was a full-fledged escape. Hmm, maybe I could help with that.
I decided to tease him just a little bit more. I wrapped my lips around the red striped straw sucking then releasing it all the while keeping an eye on my man. The final straw was when I licked the straw. He wiped his forehead and I knew it was now or never.
Reaching over the console I rubbed his leg a little before quickly undoing the button and zipper.
"Bella, what are you doing?"
"You seem to have a problem here and I plan to remedy it. Dr. Swan is in the house." I confidently stated.
"I think I rather like Dr. Swan, she's quite beautiful." Slipping my hand in, I released him from the confines of his jeans. "What's the diagnosis, Dr. Swan, what can be done?"
"This is a very common problem among young men with beautiful fiancée's." I stroked his cock a bit. "It's 'turnedonitis'." I don't know how I kept a straight face, but I did.
"Turnedonitis, sounds serious Dr. Swan. Is there a cure?" He laughed as I continued to languidly stroke him.
"Yes." I licked the drop of venom that formed on his tip.
"FUCK!" He exclaimed.
"Not quite." I then licked him from base to tip and running my tongue along his slit before pulling back just a bit, "the cure is roadhead." I stated before taking him in fully and working my way back up to the tip swirling my tongue around it and back down.
"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, so good babe, don't stop." As if I had any plans to, I dreamed of trying this out when I saw it on the internet during my cock sucking self-education course. It was amazing what was on the internet.
On the next pass up I made sure my tongue touched around the lip under the head of his cock. It was a nice sensitive spot.
He squirmed a little, pulling his pants down more.
"Mmmm." I moaned. I had come to find out that Edward loved it when I moaned around him. I felt his hand rubbing down my back and then he squeezed my ass a little making me moan more. Damn I was sopping wet with desire for this man. Well who could blame me with all the innuendo talk in the supermarket and me licking his fingers. Yeah, that wasn't the brightest idea, but who could help themselves. He was a tasty morsel after all.
"Yes babe, just like that suck me like a milkshake. I love being your straw." And I like sucking your straw sweetheart.
Down stroke taking more and more in, upstroke sucking and twirling. Gently moving my other hand, I now played with his balls.
His hand slipped into the back of my pants down past my ass and his fingers stroked my folds and clit. We were stroking in time like a rowing team down the river. I was racing to get my man to his finish.
I felt his hand move my hair aside while the other was busy in my pants. Boy did I love having him in my pants. "Ahh love, so beautiful, watching my cock slide in and out of your sweet pink lips." Then his hand was directing my head to where he wanted me and for the briefest of moments I wondered how he was driving, but when I felt his balls tighten, I knew he was close and all thoughts were focused on bringing him to a pleasurable release.
Doubling my efforts, I sucked hard on the last upstroke and ran my finger behind his balls. That's all it took and he was screaming my name.
"BELLLLA, FUCK, MY GODDESS!" He screamed and his body quivered as he released his venom into me. That's when I heard the purrowling, it was deep and the tone a little different this time.
I continued to suck him until I got every drop. Licking the tip one last time before I turned to him and said, "I think you're cured."
"I'm not convinced maybe you should take a test drive. You know, a ride, just to be sure." In a blink of an eye, he moved his seat all the way back, semi-reclined it and had me on his lap.
"A test drive, hmmmm, good idea. Hey, when did you pull over?" We were now sitting on the side of the road.
"Yeah, about that, I needed to use my hands on you, so figured it'd be safer."
"Good call." My dad would be happy about that. Okay, maybe not. "Now slit my pants down the middle seam by my pussy."
"Can't we just take them off?"
"This will be easier, like crotchless panties."
"Fuck, I'd like to see you in crotchless panties."
"Well get a rippin' then." I whispered into his ear and then bit down on his lobe.
"Shit." He exclaimed and slit the pants in one smooth move. I reached down between us to take his wooden oar in hand. Damn this quick recovery was awesome. I directed his cock to my opening, but not before sliding it back and forth between my desire filled lips.
Lining up and plunging down onto him, I couldn't hold it back. "FUCK! You feel so good. Fuck, I love how rock hard Big Ed is and how he feels inside me. He's the best, I love my Ed's."
"Ride me love, ride the Big Ed ride, harder, faster." He demanded as his nimble fingers undid my shirt buttons and he pulled down my bra cups so the girls were on display for him. Quickly he dove in sucking my hardened peaks into his mouth changing sides to give the girls equal attention.
"God Edward, I'm going to cum, babe, fuck yes." My hands went into his hair pulling him tighter against my chest as I felt myself tighten around Big Ed and came all over him. Two more trips down my man's oar and he was exploding into me. The cool feeling mingling with my heat created a delicious combination.
We slowed down, his lips met mine and we kissed slow and lovingly. I wasn't ready to lose the connection of having him in me yet and hoped that maybe he'd recover and we'd go another round. Then the strangest thing happened, I think I might have purred, but surely not, it must've been a moan.
I could hear Edward purrowling and then I purred. That time I knew it was definitely purring.
"Edward? Did I just…you…know…purr?"
"I guess you did. And before you ask I don't know why. It's another question to toss on the list."
"Okay." I snuggled up against him and let myself go. It seemed every time I would purr, he would purrowl and vice-versa. It was like a harmonic song that was something only we could create from our love and just for the two of us to share.
When he exclaimed, "Ahh crap, we're in trouble." I was worried.
I found myself all buttoned-up and back in the passenger seat. Edward tucked himself back in, moved his seat up and straightened out his shirt before handing me my shake, which I blushed at.
There was a knock on my car window that made me jump. I rolled the window down and looked out.
"Hello Bella, Edward." Shit we weren't just in your average I broke a window with a baseball trouble; we were in where was the FBI so we could go into witness protection trouble. I could change my name to Bella Peacock and Edward to Edward Lugosi. Yes, and when we married I'd be Bella Lugosi, how apropos.
A/N: Please review. So what did you think of that trip to the market? Who do you think is at the car window? And everyone knows that Bela Lugosi was the original handsome vampire, right?
Thank you to Dil9 for prereading and correcting my mistakes.
I entered a piece into the HEA contest on FF. There are some great stories over there, so go over if you're so inclined to read, vote or just have a good time. www . fanfiction ~twiheacontest (remove the spaces).