A/N: To those wondering what this marvelous pairing should be shortened to, I vote Kandpy.

Kiss Me, My Pretty
Part Two

"Just give it a big ol' smooch and it'll go away, Yuu."

"Stop calling me that and fuck off, if you would," came the expected angry grunt. Sitting outside was possibly the prettiest guy in the Order…with the ugliest expression imaginable. If he was able to kill people with his glares alone, he imagined he'd be the only person left on that miserable continent.

The redhead bit his lip before countering, "It's just a golem. It's not like he's gonna tell on you."

Kanda turned to Lavi, his hand wrapping around Tim, squeezing the damnable thing. "Timcanpy, repeat what this retard just said please?"

Without hesitance, Tim's jaws opened, revealing a long line of sharp teeth. From within the strange golem's body came a projection that showed an image of Lavi as he'd appeared from Tim Vision just moments before. Lavi watched the image of him being replayed and went back to chewing on his lip, "Okay, you've made your point. But it's Tim…"

"It's beansprout's creature. I will not give him leverage over me. Not now, not ever. Both of them can fuck right off, along with you."

"Yuu….Just calm down. Timcanpy is kind of useful and trying to kill it won't solve anything."

Tim flittered out of Kanda's hand and moved into his face before he was able to stop the thing. His dark blue eyes stared down the faceless flying ball. The urge to crack his fist into it again almost came over him and the muscles in his arm twitched. Tim's little…arm looking protrusions touched his face and Lavi—watching curiously—could have sworn it was Tim…face hugging Kanda.

Lavi had to fight real hard to keep that chuckle down.

"Goddamn you!" Kanda's hands smacked together with Timcanpy in between them. "I will not submit to you, you fuckass."

"Fuckass?" Lavi echoed, amused by the colorful turn of language he'd been getting out of Kanda since he'd walked up on the situation involving Timcanpy's infatuation with the man.

"Yes, fuckass. Now you," he turned to the eye-patched man with his own eyes narrowed dangerously. "Go find beansprout, or disappear. Those are your options."

"If I leave to find beansprout, then wouldn't I be disappearing anyway?"

The glare turned fire hot and Lavi almost shrunk back from the severity of that evil eye. Though, Tim's ability to kill the mood was starting to set in, with him nuzzling Kanda's abusive hands as best he could with his little body held captive. "Go away or die."

"Okay okay, just…don't get too fresh with him while I'm gone. Tim's just an innocent golem. And you're not very gentle, Yuu."

Within a split second, Kanda was up off the ground and chasing Lavi down. Lavi hastily jumped up to the second story balcony that was just above the entrance to the building. He was very mistaken to think he was safe, however, when Tim's body—once again propelled by the mighty fist of Kanda—vaulted into the back of his head and knocked him right in through the balcony door. "Take that fucking thing with you!" The shout was heard, but Timcanpy was already returning to his abusive 'lover-to-be'.

"Ow…" Lavi grunted and sat up from the heap he'd been haphazardly tossed in. "What a punch. I'm glad I'm not Tim…my head would have popped off like a button."

"Lavi?"

"Hurrhn?" The green eye turned at the sound of the feminine voice. "Oh hi, Lenalee."

"What's going on?"

"You haven't heard yet?" His grin widened more than it should. Telling everyone was probably going to get him a one way ticket to Kanda's version of hell—which truthfully scared him more than actual hell, if it existed.

"Haven't heard what yet?"

"Well, you see. Yuu's kinda got a new suitor."

"Suitor?"

"Oh yeah, you should check it out," a snicker escaped half way through his invitation to check out the terrific scene below.

Lenalee leaned out the balcony that the redhead had just stumbled in through. Her eyes searched out the dark haired figure that Lavi had mentioned. It was clear—even from where she was—that he was in some sort of exaggerated distress. Twice she saw him swing his fist and it wasn't until the second time that she'd realized he wasn't just swinging at the dead air. Timcanpy fluttered in front of him again and received the same fist. "Goddamnit, go away!"

Her mind quickly connected the current state of his mood, the creature in front of him and what the hammer-user had said. "…L…Lavi…you don't mean…?"

"Oh yeah~. Timcanpy found his one true love~."

She moved one of her hands up to cover her mouth to stifle her chuckles. There was that nervous feeling that Kanda could hear through ten feet of brick wall if someone was laughing at any massive hit to his pride. "How…did that…" She ducked a little lower to avoid being obvious. Kanda appeared quite preoccupied, however. "Hey Lavi…what's wrong with his skin?"

"Apparently beansprout knocked boiling water over him, that's why he looks like he's been cooked. I just learned all of this like twenty minutes ago myself. I walked outside and he was swearing Timcanpy all up and down. From what I gathered, Tim got infected with another one of those science department oopsie experiments."

"Why does that not surprise me," she sighed and shook her head. Her eyes opened again and she met the dark ones belonging to the current subject of conversation. A chill went up her spine at the way he looked like he was ready to off anyone who even thought of looking in on his crisis. She turned away and walked back into the building and out of sight of the balcony. "He's not taking this well. He's actually scary right now…"

"For Lenalee to say that~. He must be scarier than Akuma."

"I feel for poor Timcanpy."

"I feel for poor Allen. I'm about to go find him. Yuu said he just walked out—but, I think that's a paraphrasing of Yuu having a pissy fit and storming off without thinking. So now Allen's probably lookin' for him anyway."

"Good luck, Lavi. Stay out of Kanda's way, if you don't wanna get hurt."

"Will do~" He grinned and took off passed her to find Allen. Hopefully Allen could help coax Timcanpy away from the demon swordsman and maybe it would stop Yuu from giving himself brain damage from too much seething.

He could still hear Yuu's shouting from the hall.

"Would you stop that! Get out my hair! I mean that literally." His fist curled around one of the wing 'ears' and he yanked the damn thing from his head. Tim's tail curled around his wrist and up his arm, squeezing it lightly. A twitch nearly took over the side of Kanda's face, "If that's your attempt at feeling me up, then I will find a way to end you."

Tim merely nuzzled his hand as best he could while dangling from the one little wing.

"You are just as annoying as the little shit you follow around. Go back to him."

The golem didn't even seem to acknowledge Kanda's growling.

"This is bullshit," he seethed fiercely.

To Be Continued…

A/N: Suffer Kanda. Suffer. Tim loves you.

Thank you to those who dropped a review. xD This little mini story needed to be made to balance myself out from writing so much ANGST recently. This is just proof I have too much time to think about this kind of stupid shit. Pffft.