Kiss Me, My Pretty
Part Three

When he finally tracked the seething man down, Allen had already run himself out of breath. Panting ungracefully, his face had contorted into the one of annoyance that he seemed to save especially for Kanda Yu. He supposed it was his fault the whole thing happened, but if the Japanese man would cool his jets a little, he thought they could get more done. Or at least try to figure out a way to keep Timcanpy from annoying Kanda into seizures.

He found them in the dining hall; tucked away in a corner as much out of sight as possible. And Allen could suddenly see why Kanda was making his attempts to go unnoticed. He was wearing a rage-face at Timcanpy, who was floating around in front of him...carrying some part of the man's meal—chopsticks it appeared. He had to resist the urge to laugh, but at the same time, he could see that the other man was wearing down from being constantly harassed, while still sporting hot-looking burns down his shoulder and neck.

Allen sighed. At the same time of feeling like Kanda deserved that times ten over, he did feel a little guilty. He'd disrupted the man's usual habit of being an unlikeable dick and made him into an angry unlikeable dick. He approached as quietly as he could so that he wouldn't piss Kanda off to the point of taking his anger out on him. Oh, he could hold his own against BaKanda; but he didn't really want to have to fight, much less knowing he wasn't above playing dirty against Kanda and would likely hit him in his fresh burns. Especially since the man refused any medical treatment. Sometimes he wondered if Kanda got off on being in pain all the time.

The white haired boy spied Kanda grabbing the air for Timcanpy, balling his fist up every time the little golem escaped his reach. "Would you just give that back? I want to eat in peace, you fucking thing."

Timcanpy floated out of his grasp again, flitting up to his head and nesting into his hair, with the chopsticks in the grasp of his tail. For a good minute all Kanda saw was white. His anger hit his brain so hard that he actually wondered if he'd killed himself with his own fury. His fingers closed around Tim once more and he slammed the golem into the table, making the whole thing shake. Before he could even open his mouth to scream another obscenity, he felt freezing cold liquid pour down his back.

On second thought, he still screamed the obscenity.

"Oh god, I'm so…so sorry! I…I didn't…mean…I was…startled…"

Allen would have recognized that poor helpless tone even if he hadn't seen Miranda. He couldn't blame the poor woman. He himself was a little startled when Kanda put the smack-down on Tim. It was a sudden motion that wasn't quiet either. Being that Miranda was more timid than most, it was inevitable that she might jump from it. That she spilled ice-water down him was…unfortunate.

He'd half expected Kanda to take it out on Miranda, so he made a quick advance to get between them if necessary, but he stopped when he realized Kanda wasn't moving at all. "…Kanda?" He questioned quietly, making his presence now known and giving Miranda a chance to escape before the situation resulted in fatalities.

Without a response or even turning his head to cast a hateful glance at Allen, the older man balled his fist up…and put it through the table. Allen jumped back, slightly afraid of this psychotic Kanda. "H…hey, calm down. It's…okay…"

An eerily calm voice replied, "I missed."

"Huh?"

"I missed," he repeated when Timcanpy casually floated up in front of him, going to his face to cuddle on it while his arm was imbedded into the table.

"Tim…leave Kanda alone…you're going to seriously drive him up a wall...If he isn't up there already…" Allen reached for Tim, but it floated away from him.

"Do something about this, beansprout."

"I'm trying, BaKanda. But he keeps running away from me!" Allen growled a response to the man's inability to cooperate for five seconds. "And get your arm out of the table."

Silence followed.

"Are you listening to me?"

Kanda's eyes cast up at Timcanpy casually and he looked back down at his arm that had yet to be pulled back. He could feel the discomfort already set in and he somewhat regretted his impulsive attempt to flatten Timcanpy into dust. "Tch."

The younger man made an annoyed face, "Did you just 'tch' me?" He leaned forward and took Kanda's elbow in his hand and pulled him back by force. It was then that he took note of the blood running down the big moron's arm. "You are a dumbass," he said non-too-politely.

"There was a reason I was holding it there, you dumbshit. Now let me go! I already have enough creatures touching me inappropriately."

There was a temporary fear that he was going to break his teeth with how Allen was grinding his jaws together. Only BaKanda could be such a jerk at a consistent rate of one hundred percent of the time. "We need to get it wrapped up."

"Tch. I'll wash it, it'll go away. The end. Now let me go, you cursed beansprout."

"My name happens to be Allen, Bakanda. But I appreciate your pet name. I'm sure you reserve them for people who are very dear to you."

And the fight began.

Allen didn't mean to stir him up like that, but sometimes that idiot was able to break every polite bone in his body and as a result, ended up resulting in a pissing match over absolutely everything they ever did together.

"If it wasn't for your damn inability to look where you're going, I wouldn't have your creature following me around everywhere!"

"It's not like it's harming you! The worst thing it's done to you is sit on your head! Timcanpy does that to me all the time! Do you think I want my Tim hanging out with your frigid ass?"

"Then fix him and go away! I can't get anything done with this thing in my face all day. I can't even eat a decent meal without him interfering. I'm pissed off, hungry and I just want to be left alone!"

"Well too bad! Because I'm following you around until Tim comes back to me!"

"Like hell you are."

Allen got up in his face with the most defiant look that Kanda had ever seen on the little annoyance, "Tim belongs to me. It's not my fault you go around bewitching innocent golems. I want him back and I will not rest until you've released your hex on him."

"W…what the fucking hell! This isn't my fault, you brain dead…"

"Just be nice to Tim!"

"BITE ME."

A look of horror struck through Kanda's features and he stared blankly at nothing for a long moment when he realized very slowly that the beansprout…actually bit him. He sucked in a stupid breath and growled lowly, feeling like he'd just been violated. "I will kill you."

Allen stuck his tongue out and made a face. "You have too much iron in your blood, BaKanda."

"Well excuse me. Normally people don't go around fucking taking bites out of other people's necks," he hissed, grabbing Allen by the collar and boring into him with a death glare.

"You'll heal, right?" A smirk passed over the younger face.

Timcanpy settled in between them, perching on Kanda's arm and wrapping his tail back around the man's wrist. His golden body seemed to flatten a bit against the arm, like he was cuddling it.

It took both of them a moment to realize that was the arm that Kanda had stupidly driven through the table.

"Hnnnng." Fingers let go of the neatly folded collar and dropped in front of the body the arm belonged to. Kanda wrenched Tim off the arm, scoffing at the blood he'd managed to get…everywhere. All over himself, all over Timcanpy…and a bit down the front of Allen's shirt.

"I told you it needed to be bandaged."

"Shut up. Less talking, more doing."

Allen slipped out of his outer shirt and folded it up, presenting it to the irate man. "Let go of Tim and use this to staunch the bleeding until we can get your fountain of blood to the bathroom."

"That's your shirt."

"Astute observation."

A grunt was the only response and the swordsman took the shirt and wrapped his arm in it. He knew the bleeding should have stopped by then, but he was also keenly aware of the signs of his healing ability getting weaker. He was too busy scoffing to himself to notice that Timcanpy had curled his tail up around himself and nested into his hair once more.

To Be Continued…

A/N: Poor Kanda. He'll be abused to death here. But it's okay. He gets back up after death all the time.

Thanks for all the response :'D Kanda's pain appears to be all our pleasures. The next chapters will be much more hilarious with Tim and Kanda interactions.

Thank you to: Kuroya-Hime, jojoh333, AkixYuseiGRL, Marufu-chan, CamoSunBun, EXO718 for the reviews!

WakeToSanity: Haha, actually Comedy is my forte! I've been writing comedy far longer. The fact that I can write a serious story at all is a surprise to even myself! I enjoy this one because I have use their more exaggerated personality quirks that Hoshino likes to give us little bits of here and there. :'D Poor Tim.

Eurythmiic: I lav you forever and ever. You're the best moyashi ever, and yes, I am still dominant thanx~