Kiss Me, My Pretty
Part Six
"So, you guys destroyed a table in the lounge too?"
"It's BaKanda's fault."
"Like hell it was. It's your stupid golem. It practically violated me three times…or more." A powerfully angry glare radiated from the disgruntled man. He was furious for numerous reasons. Mainly because the embarrassment of being unable to kill his bodily offender was overwhelming and he wanted to find a corner to meditate in until reality disappeared for a while. "You said you were looking for a way to fix this, Komui."
"About that..." Komui paused, glancing between both boys. He wasn't sure how to explain exactly what was going on with Timcanpy. He simply resorted to the only acceptable answer for the time being, "because Tim is a golem, it's slightly different...I'm not exactly sure what to do with him yet. You've proved that smashing him doesn't break the seal, it just reforms with him."
"So...you're saying that BaKanda has to deal with Tim until he fulfills the side effect of the stamp?"
"Unfortunately, yes. I would like to ask that you both refrain from breaking any more furniture."
Kanda gave off a sneer that would have intimidated anyone who didn't know that it was just a pissy front. He was a very secluded person and this was crushing his seclusion severely. "Can you send me on a fucking mission then?"
"I'm sorry, Kanda, but I can't send you on any missions as long as you've got Timcanpy attached to you like this. It's a risk to you simply due to the possible distraction."
"BULLSHIT."
"BaKanda, it's for the best. Since you won't be nice to Tim long enough to get rid of him."
"Fuck you, beansprout."
"You can't even be nice to a golem, like you could do that right."
A near deadly look aimed at Allen and Allen challenged it openly. He wasn't backing down to Kanda just because the man was being a bitch. Tim wasn't at fault for what happened, and Kanda had abused the poor thing so much. He felt for his golem companion.
"I didn't know you were itching to find out, beansprout." It was an open taunt and both of them knew it.
"Sorry, but I'd want actual enjoyment, thank you."
"Good thing for you, I'm not interested in beansprouts," Kanda shot back.
Without giving a second to think, Allen used Kanda's own words back at him with a dismissive grunt, "You know what, bite me BaKanda. You're such a prick-"
Those silver eyes duplicated the look he'd received when he'd done the very same thing to Kanda. However, he'd never expect Kanda to ever do something like that in return. It was so unexpected that it caused Allen to sputter a bit. Kanda's teeth actually punctured the skin of his neck and even drew a little bit of blood.
"Payback is a bitch, beansprout. You need to lay off the sweets, you glutton. Your blood tastes like syrup," Kanda stuck his tongue out dispassionately; either truly not pleased by the taste or simply goading Allen further. He moved away, turning his head and not caring that the tail end of his bound hair swiped at the younger man's face in his motion.
Allen's face puffed and he was moments from snapping right back at the man, before he registered the strange look Kanda had suddenly worn on his face. It wasn't directed at anything as far as he could tell, but he twitched almost spastically and stood rigidly as if he was putting all of his efforts into not losing his sanity.
"BaKanda?" The silver haired boy moved closer and waved his hand in front of Kanda's face, "the hell is wrong wit—" He let out a short screech and jumped back as Timcanpy popped out of the man's coat, up by his neck.
"…I need a Second."
Allen titled his head, "Second?"
"K…Kanda…suicide is not the answer!" Komui interjected and waved his arms around trying to jar the boy out of his stupor at being—once more—violated.
"Wait, suicide?"
Kanda instinctively reached for Mugen, only to have Komui latch on to his arm. "Remember! It's just a golem."
"A golem. That just," the tall man muttered in broken English. "Up my pant leg. Out jacket." The catatonic state he appeared in was more or less just a front to the murderous desires raging through his body. "Send me. On a mission. Or I will kill myself. Right here." He threatened, meaning it with more intention than they believed.
"I can't do that! You're emotionally unfit for the field in your current state! If I send you out, it's a liability and I can't risk anyone else who goes with you!" Despite the rage spilling off Kanda in waves, Komui remained attached to his arm to keep his hand from reaching Mugen. This was going to earn him two black eyes at some point, Allen predicted.
"Send me alone."
"I definitely cannot do that!"
"Beansprout, I appoint you my Second."
"Kanda!"
Allen blinked, not sure of what he should do. Should he stop Kanda or should he stop Komui from getting beaten to death in the near future. "Wait, what does a Second do?"
"A Second is the one who beheads the person performing ritual suicide," Komui answered, now struggling with the long haired fiend—who had taken to trying to pry the scientist off, even using his foot to push him.
"W…what?" The appointed Second sputtered stupidly. Kanda wasn't being serious was he? On second thought… "Fine, I'll be happy to."
Komui stopped and looked at Allen—for that matter, so did Kanda. Allen stood passively, his arms folded. He watched Timcanpy buzz around, flapping madly in Komui's direction. It was clear that Tim wasn't pleased by the way the scientist was harassing his precious Kanda.
"Allen! What are you saying!"
"He's just gonna pop right back up anyway. Death is kinda like his bedmate."
Kanda glared heatedly at him, "decapitation should do the trick."
"Allen, Kanda…both of you stop this now! There will be no suicides or beheadings in this office or this building. We'll figure out a way to stop Timcanpy from…doing things to you. Just, calm down. Go take a hot bath and try not to break furniture. Please? I will do something to make up for this, I promise. Just…no deaths and no more collateral damage."
Timcanpy fluttered about and zipped right down Kanda's jacket again, taking up a nice cozy space in a fold above the man's belt. It was painfully obvious that Tim was lumped in the fabric, especially with the imprint of his wing-ears. He was pressed between the zipped jacket and the man's bare chest. Both of Kanda's hands moved to cradle his head and he was back to losing his patience so hard he thought he was bleeding out of the ears. His eyes shot open and he jabbed the moving lump in his jacket. "Stop fuckin licking me, you cretin!"
Allen had to admit, seeing Kanda so unwired was a bit of a treat…But at the same time, he was feeling something akin to pity for the man. If he were being constantly harassed the same, he probably would just kiss the thing and move on; but he knew Kanda wasn't even the type to break his scowl for even the most passive of pleasant faces—on the best of days. Kanda puckering up and smooching Tim was less likely to happen than Cross Marian drinking water instead of wine and saying no to a sexy woman.
None of that stopped him from continuing to mock the man, however.
"He really just wants a piece of you, BaKanda."
"Fuck you," Kanda barked and turned, yanking himself from Komui's grip and stomping out of the room in a flurry of swearing.
Both Allen and Komui stared after the fuming man for a moment, before Allen broke the sudden silence. "I'm…uh…gonna go make sure he doesn't kill himself…"
"Excellent…idea."
Allen quickly departed after Kanda, following the distant growls until they grew louder. He could see Kanda prodding at the moving lump in his coat, but he knew the man would never disrobe just to remove Tim. There was still some degree of pride he managed to maintain. Punch tables and people were still considered masculine—yet violent—reactions. Stripping wasn't quite as face saving.
He walked silently beside him for about a minute before the icy glare turned on him and he sucked in a breath waiting for the angry howl.
"What the hell do you want?"
"I told you, I'm following you until I get Tim back."
"Great, two stalkers for the price of one. Do me a favor and refrain from jumping down my clothing like your pet."
"I'll see if I can restrain myself, BaKanda."
To Be Continued…
A/N: Holy shit the response on this story is insane. You guys feed my ego here. xD I'm glad that my horrific sick sense of humor amuses folks.
MexiJew: Poor Kanda is probably on his way to a stroke. And it's all my fault :3c
EXO718: Timcanpy just knows what he wants!
Lotus Seed: Kanda is being abused for every sneer he's ever given people. This is his karma xD
nightfayte: Lavi got out lucky because of Timcanpy xD I think Kanda's more angry with Tim than Lavi.
marufu-chan: Poor Tim. Love is quite the battlefield. /
booberry123: Lavi is so nice like that isn't he :3?
Exile Wrath: Lavi is certainly not done being a pain in the ass, he hasn't even started!
sayo-chan64: Kanda and Allen love each other so much that they have to resort to shrieks, fists and anger.
WakeToSanity: He was too scared of Tim claiming his ass that he totally missed his perfect opportunity. xD
Lazy Gaga: Don't die! Because then you'll miss how much worse it'll get xD
AkixYuseiGRL: Oh of course he is. Tim is the bawwwwss.
Darker Than Black12: Let's hope he doesn't run into any innocent finders.
Raicheda: Oh if Daisya caught wind of this, he'd die laughing before he could even tease :'D
styrie: LOL You found me xD I'm still laughing about that kthanx. Though it was nice to have an unbiased viewpoint. And yes, poor poor Kanda. His suffering has just begun. This motherfucker will have a sequel X3
And to my Moyashi, see all these people? THEY TOTALLY SHIP THIS SHIT TOO. I TOTES TOLD YOU THIS IS THE BEST PAIRING EVER. LOL. ilavyou