Life-Breathing

Chapter 2 Life Goes On? (Pt 2)

August 23rd, 2010
Underground; The Sewer Home

"Don? Can I… talk to you for a second?"

Donatello stopped typing away at his computer, his head turned abruptly from the large, illuminating screen to see his blue clad brother saunter over to him. The brainy turtle had been in the middle of gathering the crucial data he needed to upgrading the Battle Shell, as well as all the other technological battle gear that they held in their possession. It was one of the genius' ways of preparing for a big fight and it seemed that everyone else could sense the upcoming battle as well. Master Splinter was on edge, as if he were waiting for an enemy to attack at any given time. Michelangelo was actually practicing his katas rather than play videogames or reading comic books for the whole day…which was surprising to say the least. Raphael, who had been busy preparing for the arrival of his and Mona's baby, was either meditating in the dojo or training vigorous for hours on end. And Leonardo… well… Leonardo was quiet. He didn't give his usual 'fearless leader' speeches or provide helpful side notes whenever his brothers trained. To say that his eldest brother's actions were unnerving was an understatement…

"Uh, sure Leo," Donnie said, taking in his brother's light colored eyes and seeing, firsthand, the uneasiness and turmoil that was veiled behind them. The brainy turtle turned in his computer chair to fully face Leo, "What's on your mind?"

The fearless leader stared at his brother for a long time before his gazed shifted to floor, apparently searching his mind for the right words to say. No matter how harsh or unedited something sounded, Leo still said it without hesitation. This was something else that seemed to be off about the blue wearing turtle, since Leonardo seemed to always know what to say. Now it seemed like his words were being suppressed, as if he knew what he wanted to say but couldn't say it in its bluntest or truest form. So the real question in this situation: what was Leo trying not to say?

"Donnie…,"Leo sighed out, his tone melancholic and his eyes filled with intensity when he made eye contact with Don again. At this point, Donatello, for a lack of a better expression, was really starting to get freaked out; Leo hadn't used that nickname for him since they were twelve—the only ones that called him that still were Mikey and Raphie, "Can I ask you something?"

Donnie's wide brown eyes softened slightly even if they still hide a hint of curiosity and worry. Despite his brother's weird behavior, he knew that he couldn't refuse a request from someone who had always protected him, through thick and thin. He nodded, "Of course."

Leo smiled softly—a somewhat sad smile—as he continued with his question, "Donnie… if something were to happen to me"—Donnie didn't like where this was going— "Something… bad, would you become the leader in my place?"

The purple clad turtle looked up at his older brother with disbelieving eyes, as if the fearless leader had just told him something absolutely and ridiculously implausible. The idea of something happening to Leo that would leave him… incapable of leading was absolutely preposterous; with all the stuff the Hamato brother's have been through, one would thing that Leo was damn near immortal.

The intelligent turtle was silent for several moments before he stood up from his computer chair so that he could stand at eye level with the other, "Leo… where did this come from all of the sudden? Something bad happening to you?"

Leo's gaze remained unmoving and piercing, so much so that Donatello had to fight to maintain eye contact with him, "Please… it's a simple question."

The genius gulped lightly, "Well… I don't think that I would be the best choice for leader, in all honesty. I'm too weak of a ninja, Leo. The idea of me leading anything is a bit funny."

It was true that Donnie was the most gentle of the four brothers. Instead of choosing an offensive weapon, like his other brothers did, he choose a defensive weapon—the boa staff. Instead of focusing on the power behind his katas and attacks, he focused on the fluidity and gracefulness of it. Instead of thinking of ways to take down his enemies with brute force alone, he thought of stratagems that avoided unnecessary blood shed. Also, he knew, without a doubt, that if he were to go up against the Shredder by himself—like Leo had done one of the many times they had went up against him—he would be killed in a matter of seconds. How could he replace Leo if something happened to the courageous turtle? It was like… replacing a titan with a wannabe; a hero with a sidekick. It was laughable, really. In fact, Donnie would have laughed if Leonardo wasn't looking at him with such a serious face.

"Not true," Leo said, "Pure strength isn't the only thing that makes a leader. If that were the case, then Raph would have been the leader. If it wasn't for you and that brilliant mind of yours, Donnie, we'd all probably be dead by now."

Donatello couldn't help but blush a little; it wasn't often that he was complimented openly by any of his family members, "Uh… well…" What could he say to that?

"Just… just promise me something, Donnie… this one thing and that is all I will ever ask of you at this level of seriousness."

Donatello didn't like the tone of voice his brother was using but he slowly nodded his head anyway, silently urging him on.

"…Promise me that you will step in as the leader if something does happen to me."

Donnie looked away, conflicted, "But… but Leo…"

"I'm not saying something will happen to me... but it would give me some peace of mind to know someone with a level head took over after I was gone."

The genius didn't like how his brother was talking but he choose to simply answer him, even if the worry was so vividly painted across his own face, "…I-I promise."

Leo nodded, smiling that oddly melancholic smile that was making Don awfully uneasy, "Thank you Donnie."

Before he could mumble out a 'no problem', he was pulled into a tight hug that caused him to go ridged in his brother's hold. It took him a moment to realize what happened before he relaxed himself, his worry for his brother suddenly jumped from moderate to extreme levels. Not only was his brother abnormally melancholic but he suddenly knew how to show open affection. What the hell did that mean? "Uh, Leo? Is… is everything alright?"

He felt him nod against his shoulder slightly, "Yeah, everything's fine."

"…You sure?" Donnie double checked.

Leo paused for a second, seemingly contemplating his answer before he replied, "Yeah…"

After a couple of seconds, Donatello relaxed fully in his brother's arms before he slowly returned the hug, despite the weirdness and mystery that had started it in the first place.

It was the last hug they had ever shared together…

August 29th 2014
11:37 am; The Hamato Residence, Manhattan

"Donatello, my son, are you alright?" The turtle in question blinked rapidly before slowly turning away from one of the windows in their apartment loft to look at his father. He quickly glanced at his wrist watch and nearly balked at the time he saw; he had been so caught up in his own thoughts and memories that he ended up taking a much longer break than he had expected. He should have been back in his lab forty-five minutes ago.

Damn… now he would never catch up on his work…

"Ah, yes sensei," He responded sheepishly, reaching a hand back to scratch at the back of his bald head, his fingers absently brushed against the tails of his mask. He had been sitting comfortably in the window seat of the apartment, staring out into the open skies that hovered above the restless city of New York, "Sorry, I've been out of it for the past couple of days. There are a few deadlines that I have to meet by the 31st. Not only that, but the company is getting ready for this big award ceremony that I'm helping to organize and—"

"Donatello," The old gray rat interjected gently, causing the other's initial flow of words to stop abruptly, "For a ninja who has been trained in at art of stealth since adolescence, you have yet to learn how to fully mask your true emotions."

"F-father?" His voice came out with uncertainly, as if Donnie was hoping that his father had mistaken his mildly forlorn mood for something else. There was no such luck…

"My son… your face has always been an open book, even to those who ain't gifted with empathy or sensitivity," Master Splinter slowly walked over to sit at the other end of the window seat, "You still think of your brother's last days on Earth with such unwavering intensity… so much so that it hurts your heart every time you do."

Donatello looked down at his lap, ashamed. Splinter went on, "Would I be correct in assuming this?"

"I… I can't help it, sensei. Every time I look back at the days before Leo's… death, I can't help but feel like one of us, especially me, could have prevented it from happening."

The turtle swallowed, coating his dry throat with moisture before he continued, "I had known, sensei."

Splinter's eyebrow's furrowed at his son's words, "Donatello…"

"I did know, sensei. At the time, I couldn't piece it together fast enough but in the back of my mind, I knew something wasn't right with him. He was giving off all the signs of a possible suicide victim… but it wasn't a suicide. He had been murdered… and he had been acting as if he knew he was going to die."

"I would not be surprised if Leonardo had known when his time was to come," Donatello quickly looked up at his father, surprise and question swirled behind his wide, brown eyes, "There have been stories of great and courageous warriors who have correctly predicted that their next battle would be their last."

"But how could he have known that? How could he have possibly known something like that? There is no feasibly logical occurrence that could have told him that he was going to die," The brainy turtle shook his head, as if he were trying to convince himself rather than his sensei of what he was saying.

"Sometimes… there is no logic, my son," The elder of the two slowly reached over to lay a gentle, comforting hand on his second youngest son' shoulder, "Leonardo was extremely in tuned with the senses he needed to be a great ninja… that included the senses dealing with the unknown."

"If he knew he was going to die, then why did he have to come with us that night?"

Splinter's eyes softened further, watching the mild expression of misery on his son's face slowly morph into intense sorrow, "… I think you already know the answer to that Donatello."

He did know that answer but for some reason he felt the need to ask anyway. Even if Leo had known about his impending death or not—even if a divine deity came down from the heavens and told him, first hand, that he was going to die on his next mission—nothing would have stopped him from going. The courageous turtle would have done everything in his power to protect his family; he would never abandon them just to ensure his own safety.

Mocha eyes stared back at the aged ninjutsu master for a short, contemplative moment before they closed slowly, physically hiding the tears that were quickly beginning to build up; Ugh, he thought he was past this already! Donnie raised one of his arms to block his eyes, somewhat ashamed that he was shedding tears before his master, "Why couldn't he be selfish… for just that once?"

"Lily, what kind of uncle do you think Uncle Leo would have been if he hadn't gone away?" Dorothy asked her stuffed, floppy eared bunny that sat innocently on her bed as she shuffled across her room looking for her favorite turquoise sneakers. She was ecstatic—her father had offered, rather enthusiastically, to take her to the kid's park near their house. It was rare for him to take her out, since he was so busy with teaching advanced classes at the dojo, so this was some serious stuff for her. She finally had some time to be with her daddy.

Dorothy hummed in thought as she thought about the last place she had put her shoes, coming up blank every time. She released a frustrated sighed before she rushed over to her bed and swiftly dropped down to her knees so that she could look underneath it. Perhaps she accidentally kicked them under there when she had been instructed by her mother to clean her room?

She blew raspberries when she stood back up, empty handed, "Daddy said that Uncle Leo was the only ninja that could beat him. Can you believe that, Lily? Someone who could beat daddy?"

The stuffed animal remained silent but, then again, it didn't really need to talk. Dorothy simply responded back to her as if she had spoken, "He must have been a very cool ninja. Huh… I wonder if he was nice…"

After a few more minutes of searching for her misplaced shoes, she released a sigh of defeat, running both of her tiny forest green hands through her short chestnut brown hair with mild frustration. She pouted, her wide golden eyes narrowed to the best of their ability, angry at herself for loosing her shoes for the umpteenth time since she had gotten them a couple of months ago. She really needed to start keeping track of the things that she truly treasured; the only thing she hasn't lost on a daily basis was her stuffed bunny, Lily.

She suddenly nodded vigorously to no one in particular… or maybe it was Lily; one could never in such a situation, "Daddy said that Uncle Leo was the… uh… 'strong, silent type'… I think that's what he called it… whatever that means. Hm… maybe that means he's really shy?" She turned to face the motionless stuffed animal, soundlessly snapping her fingers (since she had yet to learn from her father how to execute a perfect finger snap) as a physical 'eureka', "You know what? I bet he was really kind. Daddy said that Uncle was Grandpa Splinter incarnate and Grandpa's really really kind."

After a second of silence, Dorothy's childishly mirthful eyes saddened ever so slightly as she slowly moved over to her bed and climbed on top of it, crawling over to her artificial, cotton-based friend. She lifted the bunny with her tiny hands until her gaze was level with Lily's black button eyes, "Do you think he would've liked me…?"

Lily didn't respond for obvious reasons but Dorothy continued on, "I wish I met him before he left… but he's in a better place now. It is Heaven after all…"

"Baby doll?" Dorothy quickly turned at the sound of her father's rough voice, smiling brightly when she saw him leaning against the doorframe of her room, holding up her sneakers in all of its bright blue glory, "Ya lookin' for these?"

"You found them!" Dorothy, within the span of a single heartbeat, scrambled excitedly off of her bed and half skipped—half shuffled herself over to her father, raising her hands and dancing on the tips of her socked toes to receive her beloved footwear, "Where were they?"

"Ya left 'em in the livin' room," Raphael reprimanded gently, giving her the shoes, "I told ya to keep them stashed away when ya take 'em off. You can't just leave 'em in the middle the floor like that, Doe."

Dorothy blushed shamefully, frowning slightly, "Oh… I'm sorry daddy. I forgot."

"… It's alright. Ya betta be glad that it was me who found ya shoes and not ya motha. Ya know how much of a neat-freak she is," Raphael smiled reassuringly down at the little hybrid, lightly ruffling her hair in a playful way, "Now go get ya sweata. We're leavin' in a couple-a minutes. …Do ya need help with tyin' ya—"

"I got it," She cut him off promptly; her shining smile greeted the oldest turtle brother before she hurried off to the closet in the living room where her baby blue sweater resided. Raphael watched her pitter patter down the hallway until she vanished around the corner. He blinked after his daughter before he smiled proudly—his little girl was growing up so fast and he hadn't even seen it coming.

After a couple of seconds of standing in the girl's doorway, Raph turned back to look at the room one last time before he left the house, quickly spotting the ragdoll of a bunny rabbit resting ever so innocently on one of his daughter's powder green pillows. He sighed after staring at the thing for several moments before he reached for the knob and slowly closed the bedroom door, "… I wish ya coulda met 'em too baby doll…"

3:40 pm; The AMC Empire 25 Movie Theater

"… So… no good movies out, huh?" Michelangelo said somewhat sheepishly as he and his little redhead stood just outside the reach of the line, looking over the movie times that stood above and behind the ticket counter. They had come from visiting Leonardo's grave and were currently going out… well… attempting to go out on date. They must have been standing there for a little over five minutes, silently looking over the possible movie choices with disappointment. The only things that were available to watch were movies they've already seen or movies that weren't worth their time.

Emily agreed with a quiet, "Uh uh."

Mikey hummed lowly in thought, reaching a hand back to rub at the back of his neck—a nervous gesture of his. Feeling any form of uncertainty was very much out of character for him but he couldn't help it. Although he had known Emily since the creation of their band, Late Night Pizza Delivery (A/N: I couldn't help it XD), two years ago, he had only been going out with her for a month and a half. He knew that Emily was completely different from his first girlfriend but he still felt that there was a possibility that he would say or do something to anger her or bore her. His first relationship was like walking on eggshells—it was filled with unnecessary drama and it had been far too fast for his liking. With Emily, everything was enjoyable… sweet and slow, like a turtle—no pun intended. He was able to savor and truly enjoy what they had and he couldn't ask for anything more. All he had to do now was make sure he didn't mess it up…

"I have an idea," Mikey said with a chipper voice, turning to look down at her, automatically greeted by her warm grey gaze the moment he did, "Why don't we have a movie night at your place tonight? We can go rent some movies and order a pizza pie. We can still have out pizza/movie date… just a little less complicated."

Emily stared up at the carefree mutant before she smiled pleasantly, nodded her head to let him know that she agreed with the idea, "…What movies?"

Mikey smiled at hearing her honey sweet voice but quickly answered, "Hmm… anything that isn't sappy or angsty or depressing… or has a sucky ending."

Emily giggled at his reply but nodded in response, timidly grabbing his three fingered hand and politely pulling him through the front doors of the movie theaters and out into the streets of New York. It took them about forty minutes or so to find a familiar movie rental that was close to Emily's apartment building; it was there that Mikey lost it. There were so many movies, everything from the most recently releases to the oldies that he and his brother's had grown up with before Donnie was able to get them free cable. There were movies that he had been meaning to see for the longest time but was unable to find them. There were movies that he had lost and wished to see again. There was just… movies; this had to be the mother load of all movie rentals.

"Have you been holding out on me, little red?" Mikey said, teasingly placing a hand over his heart, faking a hurt expression. Emily looked up from the two movies she had been briefly scanning over to give her anthropomorphic boyfriend a curious, wide-eyed look, trying to fathom what he was talking about.

"This place is a goldmine," Mikey said, emphasizing his point by pointing enthusiastically to every aisle that was in his view with an open palm, reminding Emily of someone trying to hale a taxi or, on a more dramatic not, someone trying to proclaim some sort of prophetic message. It was rather funny but she hid her chuckle well, "I don't think I'll go to a movie theater ever again as long as this place is still standing…"

Emily shook her head just as Mikey went off, scurrying across the store and scooping up DVDs like a kid would in a candy store. For a twenty-six year old, he was surprisingly jovial and child-like… then again, that's one thing that made Mike so special to her. As she went back to find movies of her liking, she briefly wondered about how different Michelangelo was compared to his other two brothers. Where Raphael was extremely masculine and impulsive and Donatello was polite and soft-spoken, Mikey was goofy and incredibly energetic. She sometimes wondered how she was able to keep up with him for so long.

Even his reactions to his deceased brother was different than his other surviving siblings. Where the other two were clearly saddened by the fallen ninja, Michelangelo masked his feelings all too well. She knew that the orange loving turtle missed his brother incredibly but he was still able to be his cheerful, uplifting self while his brothers remained wounded by their brother's sacrifice… a sacrifice that she had yet to hear the details of.

When they had went to visit Leo's grave, although Mikey didn't mind her being there with him, he had opted to speak in Japanese rather than English when he had paid his respects and 'spoke' to the tombstone. She had to admit, it was odd hearing the turtle speak such a language with his upbeat, surfer-dude accent but she understood that his words must have been personal. She wondered what he had said… what his true feelings were. What did he truly think about the loss of his brother? Why did he refuse to talk about it? All she could hope for was that he would, someday, confide in her… and she hoped that she too would be able to confide in him.

As Emily absentmindedly turned a corner to enter the action/adventure aisle near the back of the store, she slammed unexpectedly into a stranger, releasing a surprised gasp when she stumbled backward and fell unceremoniously to the floor.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said the stranger, his voice politely—very much like Donnie might sound—but with far more confidence, "I didn't see you there. Are you okay?"

Emily nodded her answer, glancing up from her fallen position and seeing a heavily clothed stranger bending over at the waist and offering her a hand for assistance. She blinked at the offered appendage, noticing that the hand was green and only had three fingers. Her grey eyes traveled passed the hand to look up into his face, seeing that it was covered heavily by a scarf and hood… which was a bit odd, seeing that it was still summer and all, 'A mutant?'

She hesitantly took the hand, letting out a quick breath when the other pulled her up off the floor with an effortless tug. When she was able to gain her footing comfortably, she looked back up into the stranger's covered face. The only thing that was visible of his facial features was his eyes – light in their color and deep in their look.

Just as she was about to open her mouth to give him a verbal 'thank you', she heard Michelangelo's loud and jovial voice called her, causing her to turn around quickly just in time to see him approach her, carrying an arm full of movies that she knew they wouldn't be able to finish watching in one night, "What's up little red? You found some movies too? I don't want tonight to be just movies that I like."

She nodded her reassurance, turning her head slightly to provide her paused 'thank you' to the mutant stranger that helped her up but found that he was no longer there. She blinked, bewildered, looking down the only two aisles that he could have gone down only to find that both were vacant except for herself and the orange clad turtle. She blinked, surprised. She couldn't have imagined that whole interaction… could she?"

"Em? Everything alright?"

"…Yes," She said, a hint of confusion and uncertainty lined her voice as she turned back to face her boyfriend, "It was nothing… everything's fine."

A/N: This one was both fun and stressful to write because I kept on getting writer's block between each section of this chapter. I also hated how I kept on going back to Leo's death some way, shape, or form… but this chapter and the one before it was supposed to revolve around the life with the Hamato family after Leo's death and how the aftermath after the event. Luckily though, the chapters after this won't be talking about Leonardo's death, visiting his grave, or anything of the sort.

Random Notes and Questions (; D): What kind of person was Michelangelo's first girlfriend? How does she differ from Emily and what had gone wrong in his previous relationship that ended it? (Your thoughts?)

When Donatello says that Leonardo, although he wasn't suicidal, gave off the typical signs of a possible suicide victim. What signs did Leo put forth in the short flashback at the beginning of the chapter?

Michelangelo… speaking Japanese XD, while I was writing it, Uzumaki Naruto kept on coming to mind ^^;