Kiss Me, My Pretty
Part Seven

"What are you doing?"

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing, you imbecile?"

"Playing in the dirt."

"Yes. I'm playing in the dirt," a disgruntled snarl following, laced heavily with sarcasm. "Actually, I'm digging a grave for your golem."

"Oh please. We've already been shown that you can't kill Tim." Allen sat back on the bench and watched the man pulling at plants and moving dirt around. He wasn't exactly sure what he was watching the man do; but as long as it involved less physical harm to him and his golem, then he didn't care. He was a bit curious that the stony man chose to dig in dirt to pass the time. All the while, Timcanpy was fluttering on his shoulder with every move.

"Timcanpy, go sit with beansprout and leave me alone. I'm busy." Well, he tried. Somehow he wasn't surprised that Tim didn't even pretend to acknowledge his request-rather, demand. "Fine. Whatever. You and beansprout can go to hell together."

Allen twitched a little. "If this is your way of picking a fight with me, without actually picking a fight, then save your voice. I'm not gonna fight with you."

"You can go away."

"Yeah, no."

Kanda pulled another plant out by its root—intent to discard it—when he found Tim hopping along his arm, mouth wide open with pearly teeth displayed. With a swift chomp, Tim ate the plant that had been subjected to disposal. Allen's gaze shifted from Tim to Kanda and back. He noted the eyebrow arch on the dark haired man's face and the look of mild amusement that he didn't realize he was displaying.

"What are you a garbage disposal?" He finally grunted and pulled another weed to watch Tim continue to eat the unwanted plants.

"Looks like Tim likes gardening too," the younger exorcist snorted.

"No. He's just taken feeding lessons from you."

"You are really good at being an insufferable bastard."

"Where'd that polite pretense go, beansprout? Or are you only this volatile when someone doesn't buy your pleasantry bullshit."

"You bring out the worst in me," Allen frowned. He brushed back his white hair and frowned at the chilled air that was leaking through his clothes.

"Your own fucking fault. I try to stay away from you; as I do with all annoying things."

"You're speaking to me in full sentences. That's more than most people get out of you."

Kanda cast him a hollow glare. He didn't have the energy to really get into cutting down the younger boy. He was tired; more so than he cared to admit. Ripping living things out of the soil did bring him down from his rage high, but now he was submitting to the possibility of a bath and sleep.

Timcanpy hopped around a bit more, having eaten all the plants cast his way. He was showing more bounce and actually looked pleased, if a faceless thing could manage an emotion. His wings were casually fluttering and he perched on the end of his arm, waiting for more plants to be sent his way.

"You ate them all, you glutton."

"Kanda, I think you doing that passed off as 'affection'. He's happier."

"Doing what? The hell did I do?"

Allen rolled his eyes. This man was so oblivious it was unreal. "You fed him those weeds willingly. I think he's taking that as you showing you care."

"But I don't care!"

"It's a golem! He doesn't know the difference. Just do stuff like that and he'll probably go away." The boy repressed the amused smile his face wanted to show. Kanda was looking at Timcanpy pensively and Tim was inching closer to his face—hopping up his arm. Timcanpy closed his mouth and jumped right up against his cheek and seemingly nuzzled the man's face.

"Damn it," Kanda twitched and plucked Tim off him and tossed him in the air, expecting that he could simply float in front of him like he did. "I don't want you. Leave me alone."

Unlike his usual behavior, Timcanpy didn't simply flutter back to him and ignore the man's heated protests. Tim dropped to the ground just in front of him and his wings drooped. He just sat there motionlessly in a mound of freshly released dirt. Every here and there one of his little wings would twitch and push dirt, but he remained like that. Honestly, Allen could only describe this as "broken hearted".

"You ass. You just hurt Tim's feelings."

"You just said it was a golem and it doesn't know the difference!" Kanda's voice raised several octaves and he frowned at the moping golem. Timcanpy inched a bit and just rolled over on it side, looking absolutely pitiful. "God…damn….fuck."

"Aww…Tim…" Allen frowned, feeling really bad for his golem. He kept in the back of his mind that it was a golem and it was under the curse of a Science Department experiment, but it was still depressing to watch Tim act like that. "BaKanda, just give it a big smooch and let it go. You're going to break Tim."

"Good," came the expected reply, but it wasn't as mean and snappy like he expected it to be. "You're not fuckin' helping, beansprout." He grunted and pulled a flower from its root, just beside where Tim was. He leaned down closer to the golden golem. "Open your fucking mouth," he ordered.

Timcanpy fluttered helplessly, but opened his jaws once more. With a little push, Tim righted himself and waited for Kanda to make his move. The sneering swordsman placed the poor flower in Timcanpy's mouth and pushed his finger above that creepy little mouth to make him close his jaws and eat the stupid plant.

"Now stop your fucking sulking. If anyone gets to sulk, it's me."

"That was the nicest thing I've ever seen you do," Allen commented, leaning forward without realizing he had done so. "In fact, that was downright human of you."

"Will you shut up?" Kanda's growl as accompanied by a handful of dirt, much to the extreme surprise of the white haired boy. That man was always willing to toss verbal dirt, but he was never one to actually resort to such…filthy tactics.

Allen stood with a dark expression on his face, "BaKanda. You will eat that dirt."

The glare shot back at him and with that expression, the two of them entered into dominance mode. Kanda's fingers curled in the dirt in preparation for the tackle that would follow Allen's threat. This wasn't entirely uncommon for the two of them; however…it was a little less clean than they were usually involved in.

Kanda's hand opened to Allen's attack and his fist full of dirt pressed right into his face before he was dropped back into the flower bed, cheek pushed into the dark soil. Allen's Innocence hand shoved his face deeper into the dirt and the taller man kicked his knee up into Allen's back. That action caused Allen to fall forward a bit and lose his hold on the man's face. Both of his hands landed on each side of Kanda's face and he straddled the man's chest with a bit of an evil smirk. Each of his legs was in the perfect position to pin the man's arms down. "I won't make you eat dirt, BaKanda. I'll just cover you in it." He stated slowly, fingers collecting the rich soil.

"I will kill you, fuckin' moyashi!" Kanda slipped off into a mixture of English and Japanese swears that Allen wasn't sure what half of them meant.

Pale fingers moved from the dirt to track and smear the dirt over Kanda's cheek and Allen's smirk became almost unbearably smug. "You're filthy, BaKanda."

The man's knee moved harder into his back and a sudden movement alerted Allen that Kanda was a lot more flexible than he gave him credit for. He found himself being lifted higher off the ground and Kanda's feet digging into his neck until they managed to grip him enough to lock his ankles around his neck and forcibly throw him down.

In all this Timcanpy buzzed around, watching the two boys wrestle in the dirt. The white hair was now tainted with dark spots and Allen was held captive in Kanda's neck hold, while he still retained his hold on the man's arms.

They looked idiotic.

"Release my arms and I won't choke you to death."

"Release my head and I won't put my elbow where I promise you'll not want it."

"You even consider it and I will end your life. I don't even give a shit if Komui has my head for it."

"BaKanda, it's your fault."

"My fault?" A grunt followed, showing that Allen's weight down the length of his body was actually having an effect on his breathing capacity.

"Yes, you threw dirt first!"

"You wouldn't leave me alone."

"You have Tim!"

"Because of you!"

"I said it was an accide—" He let out a whine at the pressure against his wind pipe and struggled through more words, "You're…choking me….BaKanda!"

"That's the idea!" Legs flexed around Allen's neck and the owner of those legs had to focus on the action. He wasn't seriously aiming to suffocate Allen to death; but if he wasn't careful, then he might accidentally do it anyway.

"You…are such a….pric—" Allen whined abruptly when he felt something hit his face and leave a wet trail down his cheek. "Uh…was that a raindrop?"

"Hnnng. Fucking son of a bitch…It's starting to rain. Let me go, beansprout."

"You let go first!"

"We are not having this argument. You're holding me down, as you're the one…."

"On top?" A cackle slipped out before Allen could keep it in check and he was rewarded with those ankles pulling his head painfully back.

"You would never top me, you little creep."

With a gasp, the younger boy dug his heels into Kanda's sides—forcing the pressure off of his neck, "oh please, I bet you're a kitten."

"I. Will. Kill. You."

By this time, the rain was pelting down on them to the point where they had to break their holds. It wasn't done with agreement and the words kept spitting out like acid, among a few kicks and unpleasant hair pulling. Timcanpy latched to Kanda's hair, just above his face—his little wings stretched out as if to umbrella the man's face from the rain. Kanda didn't know whether to appreciate the stupid gesture, or smack the damn creature into Allen's face and stalk off.

They scrambled back inside about the time that the sky opened up the flood gates. It didn't seem to matter entirely too much, since both men were soaked all the way through. Covered in mud, various remnants of plant life and their own egos; the two of them stood in the open doorway watching the rain mercilessly blanket the ground.

Kanda leaned just a little and swung his hand up and into the back of Allen's head.

"Hng…hey! What the hell was that for!"

"For lots of things."

"Jerk."

Timcanpy nestled against Kanda's neck and the man sighed, "Well. I'm going to go take a bath. Because of you, I'm cold, wet and filthy."

"Always blaming me."

"You always start it."

"I do not, BaKanda!" Allen grunted, following after the dark haired mess of a man. Legitimately, he wanted a bath too and he wasn't going to be denied such, when he knew that bath was large enough for half of the exorcists to be in there at once.

"Stop following me."

"I want a bath too."

"You can wait."

"I will not, you're the reason I'm covered in mud! Unless you're just shy about the baths…Hey, BaKanda…is it true what they say about Asian men?~"

With those words, a brand new emotion welled up in Kanda. It was rage to the point of being simply referred to as "murder". He turned on his heels, his eyes reflecting the murder in his heart. The younger man wasn't stupid. He knew he was dancing with fire; but as he dashed off toward the bath to be followed by an angry Asian man, he didn't care all too much.

To Be Continued…

A/N: Moar TimKanda love, with a pinch of Yullenyish lolfights.

Marufu-chan: xD I always post at stupid thirty in the morning, so you'll always get to wake up to my updates when I do them!
Sayo-chan64: Poor Tim xD he's so lovestruck, he's gonna get pummeled and heart broken constantly.
MexiJew: You can only imagine the things that run through my brain as I write these :'D And I do it with a straight face the entire time. I'm a sick bastard.
Styrie: You know, I bet beheading would do the trick…not that I'd wanna find out. Oh and trust me, Lavi's death wish will get more prominent.
Lotus seed: Tim is so loveable though!
Lazy Gaga: I'm glad to know it gets better with each chapter. XD
Yukaharu: This is such a terrible pairing, for sick sick bastards. I have dragged you all down with me. MWAHAH.
AkixYuseiGRL: There is a large possibility for Cross showing up. When and how, I dunno yet. I don't have this one planned like the other story I got going. This one is more of a "on the fly, how fucked up can I be in the head" kinda thing.

And to my Moyashi, I fanserviced you once more. Well, maybe a little. Just a wee bit. I DO IT FOR YOUR LOVE. LOVE ME. /happytard.

Thanks everyone! Your reviews fuel me.