Kiss Me, My Pretty
Part Eight
"Do something about your pet."
"Would you stop crying about it? Tim isn't listening to me anyway."
A grunt followed and the dark haired cynic swatted the flying critter once more, "it keeps pulling my hair down. It's pissing me the fuck off." He groused as he had to tie the dark locks back up from their forced release via Tim's hair-tie stealing mouth.
"Then leave your hair down, BaKanda." Allen grinned to himself, facing away. He set his clean clothes on the shelf next to the grouchy swordsman's. He was sure he'd get some remark about how he was cursed and shouldn't spread his curse to others, but he didn't care. If he was feeling real spiteful, he'd just rub his face all over Kanda's white shirt. "It's not like it'll hurt you."
"You, who has ugly old-man hair, says."
"I didn't know you were so vain."
"You shut the hell up," Kanda growled with a swift lift of his foot-planting his heel into the small of Allen's back and kicking the younger man directly into the bath water.
Allen flailed at the sudden invasion of water into his face and he sputtered, cough from the water that he managed to breathe into his nose. "BaKanda! You ASS!" He cried when he could breathe again. Silently, he was thankful he had already disrobed down to a towel. Pulling clothes off in water was a pain.
"Quit your fuckin whining. That's for shoving my face in dirt."
The younger boy shook his head free of water and huffed at him, leaning to the edge of the bath and resting his hands on his folded arms, "aren't you going to wash your hair? You can't do it while it's up like that."
"Fuckin moron, if I let it down before the rest of me is clean, it'll just soak up the water and cause split ends and damage it."
"You are such a girl."
Emitting a feral growl, Kanda snatched Timcanpy out of the air beside him and hurled the little golden ball at Allen at a velocity too high for the poor boy to duck from. Smacking him right in the forehead, he sunk right back into the water with a small cry. "Eat shit, you little creep."
Allen emerged from the water, hacking his lungs out and glaring dispassionately. He looked around the water, trying to spot signs of life from his golem. "BaKanda, you didn't have to throw Tim in here."
"What's the worst that could fucking happen?"
"He could dissolve!"
"I said worst," Kanda snorted and moved over to sit by the water, dipping his feet in first. The idea of sharing a bath with that beansprout made his face crunch up unpleasantly. He already felt entirely too…naked, in nothing but a towel. Yes, they were both men…but he liked to think his everything was personal and shouldn't be encroached upon. By technicality, Allen actually made it into the washroom first; so he was forced to share if he didn't want to get shit for being the giant dick he was anyway. He was not in the mood to deal with the others taking that beansprout's side.
"You could stand to be less of a prick, BaKanda."
"You could stand to be less of a beansprout, Beansprout," he cut back and they stared at each other for a moment—sparks nearly flying at the tension they always seemed to enjoy building.
"My name is Allen," the white-haired boy groused before a different expression pronounced itself to his face. "Or do you just like giving me a cute nickname?"
"…Ar…" Kanda's mouth just didn't even know what to do at that moment, so he gaped for a moment before he collected the words, "are you retarded? That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say."
"You say that everyday," he rested his head on his folded arms at the edge of the bath, just next to Kanda—Timcanpy hopping around on the space next to him, after being saved from the clutches of a watery demise.
"You get more retarded everyday."
Allen sighed and prodded at Tim, who was snuggling into Kanda's leg. "Do you really hate me?"
"That's a stupid question."
"That's not an answer, BaKanda."
"I don't need to answer questions that I don't deem intelligent enough to be asked. And will you get the hell away from me. I don't need your curses rubbing off on me." Kanda grimaced and inched his leg away from Allen. But the action did no real good, because Allen devilishly sat back and moved over to rub the cursed side of his face all over Kanda's knee. It left the older male sputtering like a moron, for a rare change of pace and when Allen looked up, he was greeted with a horrified expression he hadn't quite seen before. It was delightful in a sadistic kind of way.
"What…in…what….the fuck, beansprout!" He howled; face slowly turning red from the sheer blood pressure of his sudden rage filled desire to punt that little bastard across the room. He stood up and raised his fist, trying to will himself not to kill him. "Get the hell away from me before I decorate this place with your insides."
"What's wrong, BaKanda?" Allen smiled so sickeningly sweetly that Kanda thought he was going to die from the sheer sugariness of it.
He kicked Timcanpy toward Allen, but the boy got a little smarter and simply caught Tim—who flailed around helplessly until he righted himself. The little golden golem zipped out of Allen's grasp, going straight for his head and thwacking against it a time or two. "That's right Tim, get him," Kanda grunted—keeping his distance, but finally moving to get in the water.
"Tim! Damn it! Damn it! Come on, stop that!" The younger boy tried to shoo Tim, but finally had to back further away from Kanda in order to get out of Timcanpy's apparent territory. He continued to wave him away until he finally fluttered back over to Kanda, flying circles around the man who hadn't even been granted the time to get passed his knees in the water.
"Go lay down somewhere and let me bathe in peace, you fucker. I'm tired, hungry and filthy and you're not helping." His half-lidded glare went ignored and Tim floated to his face and proceeded to hug it again…Again. Again. "You little…I said, go lay the fuck down."
Timcanpy flapped his wings and flew around him speedily. He was pleasantly ignoring Kanda's building rage. Occasionally he'd get just close enough to nuzzle some part of Kanda; whether it be his shoulder, arms, back or face and the man just grinded his teeth harder. "You are even listening to me?" He waited until Timcanpy flew back around and he grabbed the thing right out of the air and stared it down.
It took a moment to realize that Tim had a white fluffy thing hanging from his mouth.
It took him another moment to realize what the fluffy thing was.
It took him half a second for his head to snap in Allen's direction and catch the look he was receiving.
And the way Allen's eyes had to trail up to his face.
It took another half a second for his face to fully light up red.
"Hn. I guess what they say about Asians isn't tru—hng!" The white-haired boy was thrown back into the water by the force of Timcanpy being shoved nearly down his throat—attached to Kanda's fist. In the process of his mad pounce, the older man's hands slipped from Timcanpy to go directly around Allen's neck and attempt some kind of strangulation; but Tim's snatching off his hair-tie—once more—threw him off his goal. Making the attempt to snatch it back, he let Allen drop back into the water.
He failed to retrieve his towel, as well as his hair-tie. Black hair trailed all down him, sticking to the water and clinging to his body in the most annoying way imaginable. He was simply beyond frustrated, standing waist deep in water with absolutely nothing on him but a mother. fucking. bracelet.
Allen came up from the water laughing and that automatically didn't set well with Kanda—who glared intensely at the beansprout bastard.
"Timcanpy wanted the full view, haha!" Silver eyes were practically dancing with amusement. They trailed over the poor victim of Tim's love. He noted the flushed appearance of the older man and the way his hair was splayed out in the water—going everywhere. The black locks blanketed his shoulders and slipped down the front of him. The beaded bracelet was the only survivor of Tim's Great Disrobing of the Kanda expedition. His flawless skin made him look almost pure. It was hard not to stare at the image of it.
"What the hell are you looking at?"
Allen shrugged nonchalantly, "sorry, you look handsome, despite being a total jackass." The way he let the words just slide out clearly indicated that he was completely oblivious to how forward that sounded…Either that, or he had absolutely no shame in just being honest. Kanda couldn't decide and he wasn't sure he wanted to.
Mentally, he was listing options for his next action. Stomp out of the washroom. Kill beansprout. Sink in the water and drown himself of embarrassment...
A sound behind him alerted him to another presence in the washroom, "Heeeeeeey guys! I didn't know you were in here!"
The voice belonging to that statement…
Broke.
His.
Soul.
The moment he heard it.
Allen's massive grin almost had an evil undertone to it, "Hi Lavi! Join us!"
Suicide is not the answer. Suicide is not the answer. Suicideisnotheanswer. He tried to reason with himself by repeating this mantra. Over and over.
To Be Continued…
A/N: Holy shit on a stick at the responses on this.
Booberry123: Allen is a devious little bastard around Kanda XD I love devious Allen. He's Adorable.
Marufu-chan: This one is unfortunately the secondary story, meaning its updates are less consistent, I need to make an update schedule LOL.
MexiJew: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ HELL YES BATH SCENE. I need one for maximum Kanda abuse.
Styrie: "The place that Allen's mind goes when Kanda is trying to get him off." …The place MY mind went at that part of your review :'D
IvoryMoonlight: I shall try! Allen and Kanda are my favorite people to torment cruelly. No matter how I choose to do it!
Lotus seed: I remembered that move from when I was a kid. I'm too short to do it myself, but Kanda…now, that man has legs. He can do all the crazy martial artz.
Lazy Gaga: :D I'm okay with being choked. I'm not creepy…
Yukaharu: Lol, yes, that picture did help. Allen's so lucky!
Chibi-Dears XD: :'D I cannot explain this one, it would ruin it.
Fridayyythe13th: Allen gets all the eyefuls with Kanda :D
Validate0: PURE CRACK. I EVEN LINE IT UP FOR YOU, SO THE SNORTING IS EFFORTLESS!
TheOtakuSupreme: That's how they determine whether a person will make an acceptable Finder. They just tell the noobs to go ask Kanda if what they say about Asian men is true. If they walk away alive, they're in!
LePetitErik: Why thank you!
And Finally, Moyashi! I hope I didn't cause you to have to change yer britches! If I did...well, learn to PEE before reading funny shit, you moron!