Kiss Me, My Pretty
Part Eleven

It couldn't have been much later than two am. Everything was quiet and nothing but the rain pounding the glass filtered into his room. With Timcanpy nestled against his throat, he realized with dread that he was not going to fall asleep. His sleep pattern had been utterly trounced by the full "night of sleep" he'd gotten during the afternoon. He cursed himself—staring up at his ceiling with distaste. He'd been staring at that ceiling for roughly four hours. And yet, he was still wide awake. Beansprout was going to pay…The redheaded moron was going to pay…Komui was going to pay for making such a horrific experiment to begin with—that is, if the crazy bastard didn't kill him first for accidentally giving Lenalee an eyeful.

He groaned at the thought. He'd tried so hard to save face after Lavi's fucking lap dancing comment, but Allen was moron and didn't realize he was holding Kanda's bathrobe. Unfortunately, Kanda didn't realize it either. Not until he tried to remove himself from Allen and found himself—once more—wearing nothing but a bracelet. Lenalee was smart enough to realize what happened and she bolted before he could even scream at her. Her face was the brightest pink he'd ever seen on her, though.

Damn it all.

He took all of the rage he had at that moment and directed it at Lavi. Lavi was an easy target and not as quick as Allen. He also wasn't perfectly capable of mirroring his moves like Allen could when they decided to strangely be on the same wavelength. This helped make every attack against the little redheaded bastard unexpected and he was thorough in pounding Lavi's poor skull in. Did he care that he was beating the boy half into his grave… while naked? Not at that moment. Only when Lavi started begging for mercy angels to take him away, did he let up—dropping him on the floor; turning to be greeted by Allen. The boy's head was turned away and he was holding a change of clothes for him.

His face was pinker than Lenalee's.

He snatched the clothes and dressed, before leaving them both there. Thinking back, he wondered why on Earth the expression on Allen's face made him look like he was the embarrassed one. He wasn't the one who had been caught naked by the three people he had to deal with the most. That made Kanda subconsciously groan. He had to see them everyday to some extent. He quietly begged for a mission. If not for him—then at least for one or all of them.

Timcanpy fluttered at the vibration caused by the low groan. The damn golden annoyance was responsible for this. And it didn't have a single ability to regret or even realize it was pissing him right the fuck off.

"What do you want?" He grumbled, flicking the stupid thing off so that he could sit up in his bed. It was clear that staring at nothing wouldn't accomplish anything.

One foot after the other, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and committed to getting up. His room was too stifling and he wouldn't deny being somewhat hungry. The kitchen it is. Swatting at Tim, he shuffled out the door; walking the hall with nothing but silence and beansprout's golem as his companions.

He stepped into the dining hall and looked around. He was apparently the only one with the two am wandering syndrome. That was perfectly fine by him. It wasn't like he was much of a social butterfly to begin with—at two in the morning, he was most likely even less tolerant.

Tossing Timcanpy to the side once more—to fly by himself—he moved into Jerry's kitchen. As long as he cleaned up his mess, the cook wouldn't get too upset with him. Jerry always seemed strangely fond of him despite his constant brooding persona, so he suspected he could just make some kind of uncharacteristic "please don't be mad" expression and he'd get away with it. Though, Jerry didn't seem to mind in the past, when he'd been caught in the kitchen by himself.

Picking through the available ingredients was a task to do in the dark, so he begrudgingly lit some candle lanterns. Not the most discreet thing in the world, but it would give him the light necessary to pick out a few things to toss into one of the few things he could cook that wouldn't double as a torturing method. A couple potatoes. Some carrots. Celery. A few other assorted vegetables. And some broth—made during the previous meal—that was being chilled in an icebox that Komui's nutty bunch had managed to devise. He had a slightly unknown aversion to most meats due to his pickiness—Jerry being the only person who could cook it and not make it taste like blood. The taste of blood had long ago stopped being pleasant.

In fact, the taste of blood was never pleasant.

Vegetables were stacked on the small counter by a stove, where he chopped and placed them in the pot with the broth. It wasn't soba, no; but it was rather fitting for the chilly weather. He was just hungry for something warm…something that also wouldn't taste like it could give him the bubonic plague.

"Kanda?" A voice filtered in through the dark and he already knew who it was. There weren't that many people willing to approach him in such a manner; and even less of them were female.

"Sit down," he instructed Lenalee and he heard her pull a chair out. "It'll take a few minutes to heat up." He muttered, dropping the softer—quicker to cook—vegetables in with the ones already cooking.

Timcanpy hovered around him for a moment before dropping down on his shoulder. As long as the little bastard didn't move, he'd be fine.

"I know…It's been a long time since I've seen you in here, Kanda. You must not be able to sleep."

"Look who's talking."

"Yeah…well…" She trailed off. Talking to him was always a complicated starting process. He just didn't communicate well with others at all. Luckily, she was persistent and knew him fairly well. "About earlier…." A small groan came from the usually quiet man. She knew he was probably a bit sore over that one. That would have been an uncomfortable experience for anyone. Not that she didn't appreciate the full frontal….but she at least wanted to give him some kind of peace of mind if possible… "I…really…uh…didn't see anything…So you don't have to feel uncomfortable…"

"You suck at lying, woman," he snorted and prodded at Tim, who snapped his jaws unthreateningly at him.

"I was trying to be nice," she huffed.

"I'm not that upset by it. Really. I'll just kill that beansprout and the moron and everything will be fine."

"Is Timcanpy really bothered you that much?" She opted for a swift subject change.

"It's annoying, but if it just sits there, then I don't care all that much. I was more annoyed by dipshit one and two."

At the mention of his name, Timcanpy fluttered once more and stuck his tongue out and licked Kanda's neck a few times before the man could grab him and pull his face apart at the cheeks. "You little fuck ass, stop licking me."

Chuckling filtered in from the direction of Lenalee and this caused Kanda to sigh and drop Tim on the counter. He stared the golem down for a moment and then pressed a finger on the space next to Tim. The golem's attention shifted to the single digit that was tracking across the counter space. It hopped across the space until it found the small pile of remnants from the vegetables that Kanda had chopped before. The hand stopped and picked up the end of a carrot and offered it to the golem. Opening his mouth, Timcanpy accepted it with a hop.

It's not hard to make this stupid thing happy, Kanda mused and continued to pile the scraps into the flying garbage disposal.

"Aww…."

His eyes snapped up to see that the girl had moved and was leaning in the window over the counter…watching him. She had one of those sweet smiles that only Lenalee was able to do and make it seem so…infectious. Or rather, infectious in the feeling. He wouldn't smile just because someone else did…actually, he wasn't sure if his face could handle smiling more than once a decade. "Shut up," he grumbled, shoving a potato peel into Tim's mouth. The sounds of crunching filled the silence between them for several moments.

"Tim's happy, Kanda. He must like food like Allen does~"

"Beansprout would vacuum the kitchen with his face if he was given free reign to. Not that I care. He can eat a whole field of livestock if he wants."

Lenalee watched his expressions with interest. He was special in the way he didn't realize how adorable he could be. Not that she would tell him that. He would just deny it and make unpleasant faces at her. Those were things she was used to. It wasn't just yesterday that she'd met him, after all. "I think you don't mind Allen as much as you say."

"Like hell," a snort echoed in the kitchen. He went back to stirring the stew, occasionally adding spices as needed. This wasn't exactly his forte, but he'd taste it until it was passable.

"I'm serious. He annoys you, but so does Lavi. You're much meaner to Lavi though. It's almost like you enjoy bickering with Allen."

"Woman," he threatened, holding the spoon out at her, "stop talking this nonsense."

She leaned forward and licked the spoon, sampling his work. "It's not bad, Kanda. More pepper, maybe."

"You are lucky that you're a woman," he grunted, not able to stop Timcanpy from hopping energetically up his arm and perching before Lenalee.

"Oh hi, Timcanpy. Haha. Are you enjoying your date with Kanda?"

A twitch presented itself over Kanda's face and his teeth nearly broke in on themselves, "it's not a date. That's a damn golem. Not a person."

"It's the closest you'll get to a date with that attitude, Kanda. And it's such a shame. You can be such a gentleman, sometimes."

"What are you on?"

"Huh?"

"What are you smoking, Lenalee Lee? Because you're blathering nonsense." The spoon returned to its place, stirring the content of the pot. "I have no interest in silly courtships. Any sane person would do wise to stay away from me, or face Mugen."

"I think you have to worry about finding sane people around here. I mean, look at Lavi. He's crazy enough to risk death to tease you."

He just gave her a look. It was a mixture of annoyed and bored. This was the most he'd willingly spoken in a while. It was just an effect of Lenalee's. Only she seemed to know how to speak with him without it ending with someone getting hurt, or him leaving. Considering he was the first, he was certainly not leaving; and he couldn't hurt Lenalee if he wanted to. She was like his little sister. Sort of. "Are you telling me that the idiot is going to confess his undying love to me? Because first, he's a bookman; and second, he likes you."

She blinked at him at sat back, "wh…what? He does not! Kanda! Don't tease me like that! That's just mean!"

"You started it."

"A…And if anyone would confess affections for you, it wouldn't be Lavi. It would be Allen!"

Kanda casually—face as bland as ever—sat the spoon on the counter. It was almost comical in the way he started the slow, taunting clapping. Each clap echoed and along with it, echoed Lenalee's confusion. Timcanpy hopped around on his shoulder, before he took to the air, bouncing from him to her, then darting off to the body that had appeared behind her—without her noticing. When she finally did catch on, her expression changed and his clapping became extremely relevant.

"Nice of you to join us..."

"Uhhh…." The body being addressed squirmed under the Japanese man's gaze.

"…Beansprout."

To Be Continued…

A/N: Sorry for the delays! I had a period of "I hate everything, everyone and most of all, myself." And I needed to filter that out. In other words, I had a Kanda moment, but I'm better. It's more like a Lavi moment now.

There were 29 reviews. Holy shit. I'd thank you all individually, but I think I'm going to use the motivation of all those—holyshit—reviews, to start on the next chapter. This chapter was a transition chapter to the next round of torture. Cept…whose torture, we don't know yet! Thank you thank you thank you again! All the responses let me know I'm doing something right!