04

Ginny had the feeling that Remus didn't want her there so after a cup of tea, a chat and a quick sweep of his bookcase she thanked him and went on her way. With the books under her arm she stopped short in the fields of the burrow and read until dark. She supposed it was a bad habit but she didn't feel as if she was in any immediate danger. She heard her mother calling from the house and decided she better report for duty.

Before she went she turned, she felt someone was watching her but a scan of the empty meadows made her decide it was her imagination and she turned back and headed home. She bathed and changed before dinner until reading late into the night with one of Remus books and she dreamt strongly of Harry, so strongly that it would haunt her and keep her somber in the daybreak.

-

Harry stayed in his room until Remus knocked quietly.

'Harry are you asleep? She's gone I'm just about to make lunch if you're hungry.'

Harry was; he couldn't deny that so he got up and unbolted the door. 'Sounds great.'

Remus nodded.

'Come. You can help me I always forget what it is you like on your rolls.'

'You mean tomato, beetroot, gherkin, olive and onion?' Harry grinned, his taste in sandwiches always managed to get a shudder from the older man.

It came from living at the Dursleys and once they stopped locking him in he'd creep down to the kitchen at night and make a sandwich with whatever was left in the fridge. The combinations he had come up with would leave most people hacking for days.

'What did Ginny want?' Harry asked as they sat down to eat.

Remus shrugged. 'Nothing in particular I don't think. She just rattled on and tore through my bookcase. Poor thing it's no wonder she's terribly lonely these days. Since she refused to go back to Hogwarts especially, don't know why, she would see all her friends.'

Harry nodded slowly. 'She didn't say why she wouldn't?'

Remus shook his head. 'Just told her mother a flat out "no", either she studied at home or didn't study at all, so of course Molly arranged correspondence. Arthur always said she was as stubborn as a mule.

'I just didn't think she was as stupid either,' Remus continued, 'clearly a girl her age needs to be around people her age.'

Remus took a breath and for a moment seemed to be at peace with the world. Harry could understand his frustration for someone blocking themselves from society, since Remus had been on many occasions shunned by a society that would not accept him. To be out of that society by choice, Remus obviously could not understand such thinking.

Harry could though and as he cleaned up with Remus' wand he tried to think of the specific reasons why Ginny had chosen not to go back to Hogwarts. Perhaps she feared there were too many vivid memories about Harry, or that her friends would be less help than more – in which case Harry could see why her decision had been not to go.

-

He went for another walk that afternoon to clear his thoughts; leaving Remus to compile through his books (what he had left of them) and let his feet take him. And before he knew it he was scouting the fields on the skirts of Ottery St. Catchpole and nearing the Burrow. He froze as he spotted Ginny sitting on a slant hill reading one of Remus' books.

The sight of her seemed to calm him, and he sat by a tree and watched her longingly as the day went by. He thought of how he would love to be holding her right now, as she read. Sitting in the peace and quiet sunshine together with her hair reflecting so well in the sunlight; such thoughts made his stomach leap and feel like marching up to her and declaring himself alive.

But something stopped him.

He had no idea what and it was making him go nuts.

Ginny was suddenly getting to her feet and putting the book in her bag. Harry stood too, edging a little to the left so he was behind the tree and just in time; Ginny had looked around briefly to scout the fields before turning back and heading towards the Burrow.

Harry watched her go and was left to deal with the stiff legs against the ground. They would not let him go forward, only back; so he settled and turned to return to Remus' lodge. The older man was sitting at his desk asleep; a book Ginny had recently borrowed was open in front of him and a bit of parchment folded up four ways sitting noticeably at the tip of his nose. Very carefully and curiously Harry slipped the parchment literally from under Remus' nose and unfolded it to read.

19/12

Today Harry's death column was in the paper. I couldn't believe how long I looked at it and how for as long as I looked I couldn't believe it. I wondered what Lily and James would think. What Sirius would think and the longer I looked at it I know that they would never believe it either. I am glad I don't have to believe it. I'm sorry that others do.

Sincerely R.J.LUPIN

Harry did a sort of double take. He read it again to make sure, and then again, and again… hopeful his eyes were deceiving him. He knew they weren't. Ginny had surely read this; this! Remus knew she was going through every book he had for her correspondence and that she never let a page in a book slip by. Yet here he went – shoving personal notes in their pages that could very much give away Harry's secret.

But then he read it more thoroughly.

The letter didn't "completely" give him away. And Ginny hadn't asked Remus about it that he knew of. Perhaps he was over-reacting. He didn't know. But he wasn't going to wake up the grumpy elder man to ask a question that he knew was probably a mistake and thankfully, a costless mistake.

Harry let it roll off his shoulders and went to cook dinner, thinking he may bring it up in conversation by the end of the night.

-

Ginny made her way down to breakfast the next morning, Arthur had gone to work early so it was just Molly busying herself with breakfast. Ginny had sat down and grabbed the Daily Prophet to scan the front page before her mother realized she was there. Ginny had taken to looking at the front of the paper for any news – but of course there never was any.

Her mother was quite worried.

'Ginny…' she started.

'Morning.' Ginny said happily, helping herself to some pancakes her mother had freshly cooked, 'dad at work?'

'Err… yes,' said Molly, 'urgent business… something about flying saucers in Australia.'

Ginny nodded.

'Well… I'm going to Lupin's,' she announced, barely touching her food.

'Ginerva, no.'

She always used Ginny's real name when she was trying to get something across to her daughter. It was kind of her way of saying "definitely not".

It was similar to the way she would address Ron as "Ronald" when angry.

'I'm sure Remus may "say" he enjoys your visits and all but he does need his space, like the rest of us,' she said, 'and you seem to be spending every day there now-'

'That's why I go there mum,' Ginny explained, 'he's probably been affected by this the most – and hardly anyone visits him because of him being a…'

She trailed off and Molly eyed her.

'He has the books I need,' Ginny continued, 'the ones WE don't have.'

Molly sighed. 'The ones Hogwarts DO have-'

'Mum we've been over this…'

'Ginny I just don't want you to turn out a failure. Correspondence can sometimes do that.' Molly said.

'I won't. It won't.' Ginny said firmly, 'I just – need time…'

Molly said nothing.

'I'll be back by lunch I promise.' Ginny said quickly.

And before Molly could reply, her daughter had pecked her on the cheek and was gone.