Kiss Me, My Pretty
Part Sixteen

"Moyashi."

"Hn, what."

"You're going to lose that goddamned foot if you don't get it out of my face."

"It's not my fault you refuse to let me sleep the normal way," said moyashi huffed back from his position—head at the foot of the bed, casually propped on a pillow and sprawled until his feet had snuggled under Kanda's pillow. Until Kanda moved, of course. It wasn't his fault that Kanda wouldn't sit still long enough for him to keep his position and fall asleep. When he'd told the man that he was a shadow, he'd been serious. He was just that irked with him that he was spiting him with every bit of grudge holding ability he could muster. Which, really, wasn't a lot; but he was working to keep it up. At a certain point it had actually become something of an entertainment.

"I don't want your ugly mug that close to my face, retard. I don't want you in my fucking bed and if you weren't against the wall, I would kick you across the room."

"You could kick me out any time you want, Kanda."

"Yeah, I already tried that. You picked my lock. Then I jammed my lock, and you scratched at my door. How the fuck can I sleep with you fucking meowing at my door and I said get your foot out of my fucking face!"

"I'm sorry, this bed is small," Allen whined—just to be as annoying as humanly possible.

"This bed is meant for one person. I told you forty fuckin times now. I just want to go the fuck to sleep, now sleep or I will shove my fist so far up your ass it breaks your spine."

"Oh, Kanda, I didn't know you were into that sort of thing. I just don't think I'm ready for that sort of commitment," Allen snickered from his end of the bed before Kanda's foot slammed into his shoulder and he winced and rolled into the wall.

"You think you're funny, but looks don't fuckin count. Now shut the fuck up. And sleep. I don't want to pay a second more of my rest to you being an obsessed little creep." Kanda rolled the other way, facing out toward the room.

"I'm not an obsessed little creepy and—what was that? Was that you?" Allen flustered at the sudden movement under the blanket.

"Just ignore it," a sigh followed and Kanda grumbled, resting his head on his arm—folded under him. "It's just Timcanpy."

"Kanda… You're not concerned about a moving lump flopping about near your backside?"

"You yourself said it was just a golem."

The snarl that left Kanda as he gave respons, was bordering on lazy.
He really wasn't tired, but his desire to see the day over outweighed the desire to be awake. He would make a goal to lose the moyashi and lock himself away in a room where the little idiot wouldn't find him. Then there was Timcanpy. It was taking everything in him not to throw the covers off and fling Tim right out the window and board the window up so he couldn't come back. It was just unfortunate that the idiot brit was jammed between he and the wall.

It was unfortunate, because Timcanpy was now wedged between them, just cuddling around at his thigh and trying to bury itself under him like a broken retard golem. As long as the defected dipshit kept out of his personal region, he wouldn't have to breathe fire—although, he was starting to feel the burn in his chest.

It had already been a trying day since Allen decided he was now chained to Kanda. His meal had become a game of dodging falling plates because the idiot couldn't contain his growing pile of post-feasting dinnerware. This was all while fighting off a sweet toothed golem who had managed to roll in powdered sugar and then attempt to love all down his chest under his shirt. There was a disturbed part of him that was at least thankful that it was not syrup, but just dry sugar. The idea of stickiness under his shirt didn't settle well with him.

That had, unfortunately, led him to require a bath and that brought back the uncomfortable situation of Allen and Kanda being in the same bath. This time, thankfully had been much less traumatizing and with one hundred percent less Lavi. Lavi had been the real problem he'd really believed; because while Allen and Kanda did tumble and fight, they at least kept it to a steady rate of rowdy. Lavi was a mixed bag of things that could make Kanda irritated or really furious—it all depended on the situation.

Lavi was of course warned that Kanda would kill him into the end of time if he didn't leave him alone for a set amount of time and Kanda never really exacted when that would end—so he was hoping that the redhead would take that as a 'forever' and vanish from the existence that he knew.

"Yeah, I know I said that, but you're hardly logical to begin with."

And of course, this was the reminder that he had essentially traded Lavi's presence for the moyashi's. He could easily admit that Allen was less annoying to the point of actual desire to murder than Lavi was; but the situation causing him to have the little fool cramping up his bed, filled in the holes Lavi seemed to have left.

"Get your face off my foot."

"But your foot is warm."

"Yes and so is a fresh pile of shit, why don't you go hug that?"

"Because there isn't a fresh pile of shit available and everything that comes out of your mouth—while qualifying as shit—isn't warm so it doesn't count. Besides, how do I hug words anyway?"

"You shut the fuck up and keep them keep in your chest and hug them the fuck in until we're done sleeping."

"But we haven't even started sleeping anyway."

"Because you won't stop talki-Timcanpy no! Stop that." His convincing angry grunting had turned much less composed, and he had to turn over, nearly lying on Allen's ankle. If he ended up injuring the man's leg because of the golem, then he was going to chalk that right up to poetic justice.

Allen leaned up though, and retracted his leg from nearly under Kanda. "What happened? Kanda?"

"Ah, fuck, Tim, stop, stop no," he ignored Allen and rolled a bit to try and shake Timcanpy out of his sleep clothes. There were only so many things he could allow and Timcanpy was snuggling right up to things that he was not going to continue to snuggle right up to. Not if his dignity had anything to do with it.

"Kanda?"

"He's in my fuckin pants, dipshit," Kanda roared, nearly kicking Allen's face before he arched one leg over Allen to get the leverage to try to reach in and evacuate the nonliving pervert. The back of his heel was digging into Allen's side and he didn't care. It was the little shit ass's fault for camping out in his one person bed. And the only reason he'd even finally agreed to not end his life and just concede, was because he was promised that Allen would finally shut the fuck up.

Which did not happen at all.

"K…Kanda, you're crushing me," Allen groaned from under him at the sudden body shift. The only way Kanda was getting Timcanpy out was to stretch his body, but that was currently breaking Allen's ribs slowly.

"You can sleep it off," the hiss came back and Allen fought the urge to groan, blush and cackle at the fact that Kanda's hand was way down his pants. He was struggling so hard to get a good grip on a moving target and this was why Allen thought Kanda should wear tighter pants.

His only reason.

Yeah.

"Kanda, just take your pants off!"

Kanda immediately bellowed, "NO. You want that too much!" He didn't actually know or believe that was the truth, but it was the only quick comeback he had to deliver. Tim's tail was trailed down his thigh and he really had no idea how Tim managed to get in his pants.

"Stop thrashing you retard!"

"I can't help he's—AUGHHHHGAH!"

"Kanda!?" Allen squeaked helplessly watching the bigger man fumble about and erupt into an angry—yet horrified—yowl. Whatever had just happened, it resulted in Kanda's sudden, swift pants removal, followed by a graceful roll off the bed. With a loud thump and the pull of the blanket clear off the bed, Kanda disappeared from Allen's vision.

He, however, did not stay gone from his vision and popped back up with the blanket wrapped about him haphazardly. He had a scream prepared on his tongue and Timcanpy in the free hand. Allen was sure Kanda was in the middle of having a stroke.

"…Kanda?"

"This is unacceptable. Un—fucking—acceptable!"

Allen sighed and leaned over on his arm, watching Kanda use the golem as a stress ball. "What the hell happened?"

"HE. LICKED. ME."

"But he does that all the-OH."

"Yes, oh. This is…this is not going to motherfucking work for me!" The heated growl turned fierce and Kanda unabashedly let go of the blanket and threw the golem into it. Bending with the maintained fury, he rolled the blanket up and tied the loose ends before throwing it against the far wall—trapping Tim in the fabric. He'd had enough. Fuck being nice to it. "Roll the fuck back over, moyashi." The man demanded while he busied himself with slipping back into his pants.

"You're not gonna…"

"No. Shut up. You will fuckin lay there silently and you will fuckin sleep with me like nothing just fuckin happened."

"…" Allen made a face that could be the only response to that in the world. "…O…okay."

Kanda pulled a smaller sheet from under his bed and tossed it across the bed before he decided to move on to the twin sized mattress again—head facing opposite of Allen's because he was not sharing a bed with the little shit stain like that. It was bad enough there was bed sharing at all and—

"Fuck. I didn't mean that like it sounded."

Allen laughed at him again—and promptly received a foot in his face.

To Be Continued…

A/N: Jesus, I feel like I'm slipping on everything lately. It might be because it's 5am or something, but I hope this chapter has maintained the proper essence of the Kanda torture this thing started with. I do thank everyone who has review and those who may. It's still hilarious to think I've got the only big one of this sad sick little pairing.

it's so sexy rite.

Yeah.