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Chapter 2

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"Well, Goblin King- that took longer than usual."

Jareth stalked into his castle, scowling at the monochromatic creature lounging on his throne. "Pitch. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know, just visiting a fellow dream-walker." Pitch studied his black nails with golden eyes.

"Santa kicked your ass again?" Jareth cooed.

Pitch glared at him. "Don't insult me. I keep those Guardians from paying any attention to you."

"Ah, there's where you are wrong." Jareth smirked. "They do not pay attention to me because of other reasons. They foil you because you are trying to usurp their power, draining all of the wonder, joy, and happiness of children's memories and dreams and turning it all to fear and nightmare."

Pitch stood in a smooth motion, scowling at Jareth. "As is my right! I was all-powerful before that damn moon interfered." He narrowed his eyes at Jareth. "And they would come after you, baby-snatcher. Of course they would."

Jareth slid around Pitch and sunk into his chair. "Ah, but there again, things are not always what they seem. Do you really think they would pay so much attention to one who takes the dark side of childhood and turns it into something... more? I take care of the children who are broken by their lives. I take them in and I punish the ones who did it to them. Why would they interfere?"

"You do make a good point, Goblin King." Pitch cupped his chin with a long-fingered hand. "Why would they interfere with their garbage man?"

"Get out of my castle." Jareth growled.

"You wouldn't turn an old friend to the street, would you?" Pitch asked, his eyes going wide and innocent.

"Feel free to bunk with some of the goblins. The runner was quite the innocent, so they are quite fluffy and friendly right now." Jareth replied in equally insincere friendliness.

"Ch." Pitch pouted as he glided past chicken droppings and a passed out goblin. "Fine then, Goblin King. I will remember this when you are next in trouble."

"I'm sure." Jareth bared his teeth at the boogeyman. "I'll look forward to it."

"Ta." Pitch flicked his fingers over his shoulder, not bothering to turn around, as he faded into the darkness.

Jareth sighed and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. Not that he really minded the other nightmare inducing fae, it was just hard to deal with the gloating asshole after the quest he had just had.

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Jareth quickly answered the doors correctly and sent them packing back to the Labyrinth. He sighed and wiped his hands in satisfaction. That had been a particularly bad Runner. It was never easy when they read That Book, as he was bound to the words. Every time he had to fall in love with one of those little assholes, only to have it ripped out and shattered... it didn't matter that it was spell induced, the feelings were as real as those created through other reasons. And the heart break as real.

"What did you do to those creatures!"

And now he had to deal with more residents of these backwards little realms. Jareth turned slowly and raised an eyebrow at the bright orange pony. With a yellow mane. And a cowboy hat. Even in the Labyrinth, this creature would stand out. "I sent them back where they belong." He deigned to reply. Not that it seemed to help.

"That didn't seem like they wanted to go..." Came a soft whisper from an, honest to Darkness, pink haired, yellow pony with wings.

"Yes, well." Jareth pulled his gloves up dismissively.

"Hey! Don't just... stand there, two legger! Every pony deserves to be free!"

This one had rainbow hair and Jareth just rolled his eyes. He turned on his heal and leapt into the air, transforming into an owl mid jump. The potential problems with this occurred to him as the two flighted ponies (he really hoped he never had to come back to this bit of reality).

Fortunately, he was not trying to cross a physical distance.

"You can't outfly me! Hey!"

Jareth ignored the rainbow pony as he popped through the barrier to his own world.

"What was that?" The purple one with a horn asked. "I haven't seen anything like that in all of my books."

"I don't know." Sniffed the other horned one next to her. "But I do know that he has fabulous fashion. I think I have a new line for the party next week..."

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A/N: Pitch is from Rise of the Guardians (the movie)- not sure who did that. All the ponies are from My Little Ponies- Friendship is Magic. Which belongs to Hasbro I think. They won't show up again, but it's a good show.

Yes, this chapter is short. I'm also not doing so well on avoiding humor, but c'est la vie.