A/N: This story is turning out to be really hard for me to write because of the subject matter. Still, I have ideas for it, so I'm going to keep writing. Just to warn you all again, there's triggery stuff in here. Enjoy :)

"Don't forget my parents are coming over tonight," Finn said, straightening his tie in front of our mirror.

"I'll make sure the house is clean and dinner's on the table by the time they get here."

"Make sure it's done before I get home so I can check." I just nodded. "And make sure you set out the plates my mom got us. She'll love that."

"Everything will be perfect," I said.

"Just make sure you don't mess anything up this time. I'm still getting shit at work from the time you burned the chicken."

"Nothing like that will ever happen again," I said, flinching a little. I never wanted to see Finn as mad as he was that night again. A few of the bruises still hadn't healed. "I promise."

"Good. I'll see you tonight." he said. He leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, and walked out the door. I went straight to cleaning. I always kept a clean house, but it was even more important when Finn's parents came over. They were kind people; his father was strong-willed, just like Finn. His mother was very quiet and mild-mannered, and she tended to her husband and son's needs. She really was the perfect wife; her whole life revolved around her family.

That's why the house had to be perfect whenever they came over. Finn thought the world of his parents. To him, they had the absolute perfect relationship, and I knew that he constantly measured our marriage against theirs. He wanted them to know that we were doing just as well as they were, so he wanted the house and the food to be perfect. I understood. If my family were still in my life, I would've wanted to impress them, too.

I was so invested in cleaning out our fireplace that I almost didn't hear the knock at the door. At first, I almost didn't answer the door. It was probably a door-to-door salesman or someone trying to convert me to some church or another. Then I got worried that it might be Finn. Occasionally, he would drop by the house to make sure I was home, but that was usually around his lunch break, and it was only around ten. Still, I didn't want to risk him thinking that I was sneaking out of the house, so I answered.

I wasn't expecting a gorgeous woman about my age to be standing on the other side of the door.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Santana Lopez. I just moved in across the street, and I thought I'd introduce myself." She held out her hand, and I almost didn't take it. I was in shock. She wasn't wearing anything special; she was wearing a t-shirt and some baggy jeans. Her hair was up in a ponytail, and she wasn't wearing any make-up, but she was still so beautiful. When a few seconds went by, and she was still holding out her hand, I let out an awkward chuckle and took it.

"It's nice to meet you," I said with a smile. "Welcome to the neighborhood. How're you liking it so far?"

She shrugged. "I pretty much just got here, but it seems nice enough. It's quiet. A lot quieter than I'm used to, actually."

"Where are you from?" I asked.

"I've lived in Cleveland for the last year or so, but before that, I was in LA."

My eyes went wide. Why would anyone want to move from somewhere glamorous like LA to Lima, Ohio? She chuckled.

"What?" I asked her, not knowing what she was laughing about. I hoped that I hadn't done anything stupid.

"Nothing. It's just that LA's not all it's cracked up to be," she said. "Not everything is beaches and famous movie stars. Plus the cost of living is so much higher, and there's all the pollution. It's really a mess."

"Well, I've never left Lima, so I'm sure I'd still be left in awe if I were to ever visit. Lima's not much of anything, really. I think you'll be missing big city living." I didn't know why I even told her that. I'd never thought that life in Lima was so bad. Well, I had, but not since I'd been with Finn. At least not much, anyways. Sure, I'd had dreams of living in a city (New York more than LA), but I thought I'd let them go.

I guess there was still a little bit of that longing left in me.

She laughed a little bit. "Well, I'm liking the people," she said.

"Oh? Who have you met in the neighbor?" I asked.

"Just you, but if everyone's as nice as you, I think I'll like it here," she flashed me a sly smile and a wink, and I felt my face heat up. Why was I blushing? She was just being friendly. God, I really needed more human interaction. Although, it was a little hard when Finn didn't want me leaving the house.

"Well, I didn't mean to interrupt your day or anything, so I'll get going," she said, to me, and I felt myself frown.

"Oh," I said, surprised by how sad I felt by her leaving. I hadn't realized how much I missed having people around...people that weren't somehow related to Finn or his work. "Well, yes, I have a lot to get to around the house."

"I hope I didn't throw off your day too much," she said with a concerned look, and I shook my head before she could really worry.

"Oh, no. Don't worry about it at all. I just like a clean house."

We smiled at each other for a few seconds before she said, "I guess I'll get going."

She started to walk away, and my mouth started running before I could stop it.

"Maybe you could come over again sometime," I said before she could walk away. "I could make cookies. I make really good cookies. I also make other things, if you're not into sweets. I make a mean vegan pasta...although, I could add meat to it. I know a lot of people don't like the vegan lifestyle. I'm actually not vegan anymore myself, but I still try to stay away from meat as much as I possibly can. You know, many of those animals are tortured, and-"

"Hey!" Santana finally said, and I shut my mouth. I closed my eyes and sighed. I knew I'd blown it. I was surprised that she was still standing there and hadn't run in the opposite direction "Listen...I actually don't have your name."

"It's Rachel, and I'm sorry I started rambling," I said. "I do that when I'm nervous. I've been told it's extremely annoying."

"I think it's pretty cute, actually." I blushed again. I'd only known her for a minute, but Santana Lopez was beyond kind if she was calling my rambling cute. "And yeah, I'd like to hang out more, if you're up for it."

"Oh...okay!" I said with a smile. "You can come over whenever you like during the day. I mostly just stay at home, so just...come on by!"

"Definitely," she said, as she walked away, waving. "I'll see you around, Rachel!"

I liked the way she said my name.

It wasn't until she was walking away that I really thought about Finn. He didn't like it when I had people over if he wasn't there...and also if he hadn't invited them over. Besides, if Santana was over all the time, I might let the house slip, and Finn wouldn't have that. On the other hand...I just really wanted to see Santana again. I'd have to keep the visits to a minimum and make sure she was gone well before Finn got home.

It was probably better that way, anyways. I was better in small doses, and I wanted to keep the good impression that I'd seemed to make. Still, I couldn't believe what I was doing. Was I really going to hide this from Finn?

I just shrugged it off. I would tell him...eventually. I'm sure that once he realized that I was able to maintain a friendship (which I really hope this turned into) and I was still able to provide for him, he wouldn't mind. At least that's what I hoped.

Yeah...I would tell him. Just not right away.

I spent the rest of the day getting everything ready for Finn's parents that night, but I was having a hard time focusing. I kept thinking about Santana. I knew next to nothing about her and yet, her little visit had left quite an impression on me. Still, I needed to concentrate. The last thing I wanted to do was upset Finn.

When Finn got home that night, I could tell that he was in an awful mood. I tried to calm him down, but that had earned me a shove into a wall (he immediately apologized for it), so I decided to just go back to making everything perfect for the night, and thankfully, he left me alone.

Dinner should have gone off without a hitch. The house was so clean, it was almost sparkling, dinner was impeccable (I made Finn's mother's recipe for lasagne, and she had nothing but nice things to say), and I was dolled up to perfection. Everything was going swimmingly until the topic changed to work.

"So I heard a few people talking about you today, Finn," Mr. Hudson said. "Something about a premature account cancellation due to misplaced funds?"

Finn let out an uncomfortable laugh and shrugged. "It was just one account, Dad. We'll have five more just like it by Friday. It's no big deal."

He shook his head. "That wasn't just any account. Mr. Jackson had about every type of insurance we had to offer, and because you messed up his auto insurance account, he's talking about switching to one of our bigger competitors. Besides that, I don't want the bad press that we can't keep track of our money and our policies. It could seriously influence business, and I can't have that."

"I'll fix it. I just have to figure out what happened to his payment." Finn laughed a little. "I mean, he still pays in cash through the mail. It's pretty lame, actually. Who doesn't have a card to pay their bills?"

"It wasn't your fault, honey," I said. "It was probably lost in the mail. I can't tell you how many times I've ordered things throughout my life and never gotten them."

Finn glared at me, and I knew I'd done something wrong. I always did that; I'd say something when I wasn't supposed to. I took a bite of my food to hide my frown. Everything had been going so well...

"No offense, Rachel," Mr. Hudson said to me with a grin that I wasn't entirely sure was sincere, "but you don't know how things work at our office. This isn't the first time that Finn's lost money. Last time, it cost me three accounts. It would've been more if I hadn't been able to salvage the situation." He turned his attention to Finn. "You can't keep doing this, kiddo. Do you have any idea how it makes me look? How much money it costs me?"

"I'll find the money, sir. I'll make sure the policy is fixed, and I'll make sure Mr. Jackson is happy with his service." Finn said. "You can count on me."

"I hope so. You have potential, but you've got to use that head of yours. I know there's something in there," Mr. Hudson said, and I cringed. Finn hated it when people made him feel stupid. Thankfully, after that, we moved onto another topic. I couldn't concentrate through the rest of dinner. I knew Finn would be angry, and I knew there wasn't much I could do but hope that he would calm down on his own before his parents left the house.

They left about an hour later, and I went straight to the kitchen and started washing dishes. I flinched when I heard Finn's footsteps behind me while I stood at the sink.

"Rachel?" he asked, eerily calm.

"Yes, Finn?" I asked, not looking away from the dishes.

"What the hell was that at dinner? You know not to talk when my dad and I are talking about business."

I swallowed hard. I did know that, but sometimes, when Finn's father would give him a particularly hard time, I'd want to defend him. It was just in my nature.

"I know," I said. "I...I was just trying to help."

He let out a humorless laugh. "You thought you could help me? You don't think I can handle myself?"

I shook my head. "No, it's just-" I turned around with a jump when I heard the sound of glass shattering. I saw a wine stain on the wall and glass all over the floor.

"Fucking look at me when I talk to you!" he screamed at me, and I couldn't think to do anything but nod. "God, you are so stupid! There's a reason I tell you not to speak unless your spoken to!"

"I-I know-"

"Stop saying you know! Obviously, you don't!" Finn had me pinned against the sink before I could even think to react. "Were you trying to embarrass me? Trying to make me feel stupid?"

I shook my head. "That's not what I was doing."

Finn slapped me hard across the face, and I would've fallen if he hadn't grabbed me. I tried to stop my tears from falling; crying only made things worse and made Finn feel bad.

"I work so hard trying to make sure you have everything you need here, and all you do is disobey me!" He slapped me again, and this time, he let me fall to the floor. "The guys at work think I'm a joke, and it's your fault!"

"I'm sorry," I gasped out, holding my cheek while he hit me a few more times. I was going to be sore tomorrow. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Please."

Finn sighed before he finally stopped and leaned down next to me. He pulled my hand away and caressed my cheek. I wanted to crawl away, but I knew that would just serve to make him more angry. There wasn't much I could do to avoid making him more angry, but I tried to steer clear of things I knew without a doubt would set him off.

"I'm sorry I had to do this," he said. "You're just so...just stay out of things you don't understand, okay? I don't like it when you make me do things like this. It hurts me, Rachel." I nodded, and he helped me to my feet. I could almost feel the bruise forming on my face. I just hoped that if it swelled, it didn't last very long before it went down.

I apologized for making him feel bad a few more times as I got off the ground, and he kissed me. I hoped that would be it. Just a simple kiss...but it was never just a simple kiss. It was always him sticking his tongue down my throat and dragging me to the bedroom (unless he was particularly riled up...then it was just the couch or a table). Finn always wanted more. Why wouldn't he? Why shouldn't he expect his wife to satisfy his needs? It was completely normal for him to except that from me.

Still, I couldn't help but wish a little bit that he'd just left me on the floor.

He walked me to the bedroom, and as much as I wanted to push him away, I knew it would be a lot worse if I said no. Finn hadn't let me say no since I'd lost my virginity to him. To be fair, I hadn't really tried since then, but that was because I was afraid of what he'd do if I ever tried to turn him down. No, it was just easier to lie there, even if I did feel the shame and pain afterward.

I shouldn't have felt the way I did. He was my husband. I knew when we got married that he would want to have sex with me. It was a part of being in a relationship. I thought I would get used to it over time emotionally, but I didn't. It never felt right. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Finn always told me that I wasn't supposed to feel much of anything, but I felt like I should feel something besides...dread. It was the only word I could think to describe the feeling I got whenever he came toward me with that look in his eyes.

I always tried to find something to like about out encounters. As hard as I tried, though, I could never find anything. He was rough with me whenever he'd had a bad day, so he'd rip my clothes off (sometimes literally. I'd lost some of my favorite clothes that way...he always bought me new ones, though) and he would pull my hair and manhandle my chest. He'd occasionally hit me, but he usually got that out of his system before we got to the bedroom. Beyond that, we'd have sex, he'd grunt in my ear, and sweat a lot, and then he'd finish.

That's probably the part that I liked the best; it never lasted very long.

Was this how all women felt? It couldn't be. I may have romanticized intimacy in my mind too much, but there had to be a reason that such a big part of relationships was making love.

There had to be something wrong with me.

I really wanted to take a shower when he was done. I always did, but Finn fell asleep afterward, and I didn't want to risk waking him. I was just glad that the night was over. I felt worse than I had in a long time. It wasn't so much that Finn had taken out his hard day on me. That was happening with more and more frequency. It was more because my day had been going so well before. I'd been happier than I'd been in quite a while. Everything should have been perfect...and yet, I ended up in bed next to my husband, still trying to hold back my tears.

I couldn't help but think that I didn't deserve friends if I was so defective and weak...and even though I'd just met her, what I was really thinking was that I didn't deserve Santana Lopez as a friend. I really didn't know her, but I knew she was so much better than me. That thought was actually what made my tears finally fall. I held onto my pillow and muffled my sobs as much as I could until I finally fell asleep.