Two Days Prior
Dean woke with a start as the motel room door slammed shut. He knew Sam had been trying to wake him, but he was tired, and his dream had been pretty damn great. When Sam left, Dean sat up, contemplating going after his brother, but he knew Sammy needed to work everything out on his own.
He felt for the kid, he really, truly did. Sam hadn't been given an easy life. Sure, he'd conquered every fucked up challenge thrown his way—since birth—but it really just never seemed to end.
Dean sauntered into the shower and rinsed the remnants of his dream off his stomach. When he walked out, stark naked because well, when you grew up with a blind kid, you just really never gave a shit about whether or not someone was looking at your schmack, Cas was sitting on the bed.
He gave Dean his trademark long, slow stare, up and down Dean's body, licked his lips a little, and the corner of Dean's mouth quirked up. "You like what you see?" he asked with a wink.
"I believe you are aware of my affections for your nude form," Cas said.
Dean rolled his eyes, wondering if the Angel was ever going to get it. Likely not, so he grabbed his boxers and slipped them on. "What's up?"
"There hasn't been a single whisper or rumor regarding your brother's condition anywhere in the supernatural community," Cas said. He watched Dean pull his jeans on with a look of consternation—Dean would later come to recognize that as one of Cas's looks of appreciation—and sighed a little. "We need to consider whatever, whoever, did this, might never be found."
Dean wiped his hand down his face and glanced at himself in the mirror. He looked tired, but more than that, he looked concerned. He turned back to his Angel and sighed. "You know Sam isn't going to rest until he finds out what did this, and why."
"I am well aware of your brother's determination. Still, we need to accept the fact that even if we find what did this, Sam might not receive the answers he's looking for, or wants to hear, for that matter. You may need to encourage him to start coping with this change."
"That's not going to be easy," Dean said. "That kid has fought tooth and nail to get to where he is today, and this… I mean you saw him, Cas. He's a goddamn mess. He can see but he can't see anything. Last night he stared at his face in the mirror so long that he puked."
"Eventually his brain will start processing images, color and depth," Cas said. He rose and walked over to Dean, resting his hand casually on Dean's hip. "It's much like an infant, the ability to see without the ability to comprehend. It will be a slow process, but he will be able to do it."
Dean took comfort in that casual touch for a moment. He wanted to take a lot more than that, frankly, but he settled for kissing Cas hard, and then pulling away to slip his shirt on. "I'm gonna have to go full-on dick mode to snap him out of his mood," he muttered through the cloth as the shirt slid over his face. "He's bound and determined to put things back the way they were."
"I realize that. There are options, if he can't handle it. However, my concern is—this wasn't a natural process, and whatever was able to reverse the blindness might be able to do it again."
"We have to find out who did this and why. I mean, you know what, I'm glad the kid can see, okay? I know it might sound a little dickish but, you know, this doesn't just happen, and once he gets his head out of his ass he might realize that this ain't so bad," Dean gestured to his own, perfectly functioning eyes. "But apart from that, someone is fucking with my brother. Someone changed something that shouldn't have been able to change. And we have no motivation, no leads, and no suspects."
"I'm obtaining help on that front," Cas said. "Go and find your brother. There is a local Devi healer just outside of Denver, Colorado and chances are if they aren't the ones responsible for this, they will know who is."
Dean let out a breath. It was the first bit of real information they had so far, and well, the boys had solved cases with far less than that. "Okay. Okay we'll head out today. I'll whip him into shape as best I can, especially if we need to fight."
"Don't be too hard on him," Cas said, but the underlying tone was there. Do what you need to do. The more Sam is freaking out, the less he'll be able to function at full capacity and chances were, they were going to need all parties at the top of their games.
Cas was gone. Dean peered out the window and knew exactly where his brother had gone. He toed on his shoes and threw all of their crap into the Impala. Tossing the motel key into the little dish near the check-in window, Dean hit the sidewalk and headed down towards the water.
He paused near the little café and saw Sam off in the distance. He was sitting on a bench talking quietly to someone, but as far away as he was standing, Dean couldn't make out who it was. He paused, bending down to adjust his shoe, and when he stood up, whoever had been with Sam had gone.
Could have been Cas, but Dean doubted it. He made his way over to his brother, slowly, irritated by this entire situation and feeling guilt piling on by the shovelful. He didn't want to be a dick about this. He knew Sam was struggling and he didn't want to push him.
But he didn't have much of a choice. Dean flashed back to when they were young, when John was in trouble and Dean had to take Sammy on a hunt. The kid was barely seven and he was terrified. He kept shouting to Dean about how he couldn't do it, he couldn't see, he was going to die.
Dean had grabbed the kid by the shirtfront and shoved him hard against a wall. "That's right, Sammy. You can't see. You're blind and you always will be. But this is our life and if you don't knock it off and work with what you've got, you're going to die. Do you want to die, Sammy?"
The terrified kid, sightless eyes wide and flooded with tears, whimpered, "No."
Dean had let the kid go and took a step back. "Everything else works, right? Ears on good? Hands not numb? That's all you need, Sammy, so suck it up and let's do this. You're just as good as I am, and you know it."
However and why that little speech had worked, Dean didn't know. It had killed him to yell at his brother like that, to scare him, but it had worked. Sammy's face went hard and they had rescued John from a particularly ugly poltergeist. After that, Sammy worked hard, impossibly hard, to prove himself to his brother. John, too, a little, but their father had never, ever believed in Sam. But Sam didn't care, not really. Dean's opinion of him mattered, and over the years, Sam had proved himself.
Dean never went soft on his brother, and as he saw Sam sitting there, head back, looking thoroughly freaked out, he knew this time would be no different. He would have to push Sam again, because if they were going to solve this case, Sam had to get it together.
qp
Dean let the door to the adjoining room close more softly this time than he had before. He contemplated slipping the lock into place when he saw Cas sitting on his bed, but he realized even if Sam came in and saw them doing… that… he wouldn't know what the hell he was looking at anyway.
Dean met his Angel's eyes for a brief moment before he began to strip down to his boxers. A thick, tense silence coursed through the room as Dean went through the motions. Took a piss, brushed his teeth, washed his hands. Cas was still on the edge of the bed when Dean slipped between the sheets and put his arms behind his head.
"You going to just keep sitting there? My dick ain't gonna suck itself."
Cas rolled his eyes and looked at Dean with that look. "You're hurting."
Dean's jaw clenched and he let out a frustrated sigh. "Do we have to do this?"
"Yes."
Dean let out a groan and rolled onto his side to better look at the Angel. "I don't like this, okay? I don't like seeing Sam all … all fucked up like this. I don't like having no real plan, and you know what, he asked me to back off and goddamn it Cas… I want to. I want to back off and let him deal. I mean, it was one thing to push him when he was a kid, but he was born blind. He hadn't lived his entire life one way, then had all of that ripped away. This is different."
"I realize that," Cas said quietly.
"I need to back off."
"I agree."
Dean was mildly surprised, but didn't call attention to it. Castiel was a warrior, a fighter. Castiel loved Dean, but had no problem beating his lover within an inch of his human life if Dean asked for it. Which he had. More than once. Cas was not one to suggest Dean go easy on anyone. Especially Sam, especially after everything Sam had become, and had done.
"So what's the game plan? I mean, can we fix this whole mess?"
"I'm not sure," Cas said. He shrugged off his trench coat—something he never did in front of anyone but Dean—kicked off his shoes, and began to unbutton his shirt. Dean shifted over as Cas attempted to make himself comfortable on the bed. "Like it was stated before, killing the Devi won't reverse anything."
"Yeah but… why not?" Dean asked, frowning. "I mean, every time some bullshit thing puts their mojo on me or Sam, we kill it. We kill it and we go back to normal. We stop being demons or vampires or… whatever. So why not this time?"
"Because this isn't a demon or a vampire," Cas said, not quite patiently. "Dean, these creatures, these Devi, are not monsters. They are the embodiment of god powers. They're similar to Angels in that respect. If you kill them, it doesn't undo all of the good they've done. Were that the case, you and Sam would be flayed, crushed, burned, beaten and heaven knows what else because I am not the only Angel who has healed you both, and most of those other Angels are long dead."
Dean rubbed his eyes and sighed, wishing a little that they could skip the talking part and get right to the fucking. "Okay so… we have to ask permission, or whatever? To reverse it, or to find out why or how?"
"I'm afraid so," Cas said. "They're easy to talk to, however not as easy to negotiate with. It's probably better that Balthazar stay out of it. Any creature related to the pantheon is not a current fan of Angels."
Dean got that. After what Lucifer had done, and after everything those winged dicks had put the Winchesters through, Dean really and truly got that. "So why is he back, by the way? Balthazar? I thought he was done hanging out with the apes." Dean remembered well Balthazar's parting words to Sam as he left the younger Winchester broken, both inside and out.
"I'm not sure of his motivations. I believe he still holds some affection for your brother, though."
"What a dick," Dean said. He was through talking, however, and began to tug at Cas. The Angel responded favorably, and Dean was glad their little jaw session was done for the night.
qp
"Sam seriously, enough primping," Dean snapped at his brother who was staring at himself in the mirror.
"I'm not primping, dick," Sam said.
Dean walked up beside Sam and threw his arm around his brother. "I realize you don't quite get it yet, but you look good. I mean, not as good as me, that will never happen. That's just luck. But your face is passable and your hair is…fine." L'oreal, he didn't say, though secretly he hated Sam for it. "Let's just go, okay. We're wasting time."
Sam swallowed, glanced back at the two total strangers in the mirror and then took a deep breath. "Yeah okay. Yeah." He walked to the bed, trying not to count steps—but he did anyway—grabbed his glasses and then ghosted his fingers over his cane. He hesitated, then pulled his hand away and turned to Dean. "Okay. Let's go."
Dean frowned and looked down at the cane. "Look man, it's… it's fine. You need it. Take it."
"No," Sam said, pulling a full-on bitchface. "You were right, and if this is my life now, if this is it, I have to stop relying on my old life to get me through the day." Dean watched as Sam turned away from the bed and started for the door. He was clearly counting steps, and his hand was out in front of him to prevent himself from falling, but he found the door, opened it, and walked out.
Dean looked over at the cane and sighed, slipping into the inside pocket of his coat. He got it, Sam was trying like he had always tried to do everything, but Dean also understood that pushing Sam would be totally pointless. He followed his brother, who was standing in the middle of the hall looking completely lost.
"Come on," Dean said, and gruffly but firmly, he put Sam's hand on his shoulder and led him out into the lobby. He pretended not to hear Sam's sigh of relief, or feel the younger Winchester squeeze him tighter than was necessary, and they walked out to the parking lot.
When they turned the corner to where the Impala was parked, Sam let go of Dean's shoulder and nodded. "There," he said, pointing. "I see it. Like I… I see it, see it."
Dean smiled and gave Sam a pat on the shoulder. "Good job, Sammy. Gold star. Now see if you can get in without breaking your neck."
It was a joke, but that didn't stop him from watching Sam like a hawk as his brother walked over to the car, reached for the handle, and got in. He suppressed a smile as he slid behind the wheel and started it up.
"So where is this thing? This compound?" Sam asked as Dean pulled out onto the street.
"Cas said it's just a few miles out of the city. We get off in some suburb called Broomfield and it's out in the middle of nowhere."
"Comforting," Sam said. "A strange religious compound in the middle of nowhere, Colorado."
"Yeah. Just our luck."
The drive was fairly quiet after that, Dean keeping the music level far below normal, and Sam's eyes were squinted as they took in the violent wave of scenery, trying to make sense of it all. Dean caught him a few times, staring down at his phone, trying to navigate the buttons by sight instead of touch.
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, zero," Sam muttered under his breath. He had his old phone, the flip-phone kind that Dean had meticulously brailled with drops of melted plastic. Sam was reading the numbers by memory. "Dude, how… I mean how did you manage to figure these symbols out?"
Dean snorted and shook his head. "I think any sighted person might ask you the same thing about Braille."
Sam shrugged. "It just seems so… senseless. I mean with touch, you get up close and personal. You feel the shapes and temperature. You feel what's there, you know it. With your eyes you just sort of… you see it and you have to just sort of have faith that it's actually there. That it actually means what it is. Seems… bizarre."
Dean licked his lips and let the words sink in. It was true, and it made sense. There were so many things Dean had seen, hallucinations and ghosts and shit that fucked with his head, and Sammy never suffered from that, from that fear and confusion because unless he touched it, it didn't exist. Even when Sam heard things, strange things, they didn't exist unless he could feel it.
"You get used to it," Dean said after a while.
"Yeah. I guess I'll have to."
Half-way through the drive, Dean felt a shift in air pressure and looked in his mirror to see the two Angels seated comfortably in back. Balthazar looking slightly put out, Cas looking slightly constipated, and he couldn't help the small snort that escaped.
"Nice of you to join us," Dean said.
Sam turned around and stared at the Angels. Hard. Obviously trying to tell which was which. "Balthazar," Sam said, and pointed to the correct, smarmy Angel.
"Well done," he replied to his former lover, and winked.
Sam blinked his confusion at the unfamiliar expression, shook his head and turned back around. "So any new updates?"
"Not so much. We're just tagging along in case you two morons get yourself into a situation you can't get out of. Which, undoubtedly, you will."
"Glad to see you so eager to save our asses, Balthy," Dean sneered.
"I've only interest in one arse here," Balthazar said, leaning forward slightly. "And I don't want to traumatize your sensitive nature by describing that particular… interest."
Dean went slightly green while Sam muttered, "Please shut up."
With a sigh, Castiel took over and directed the way to the dirt road where the compound lay. They pulled off to the side where the Angels decided to exit the car, but not before Balthazar slipped an amulet on a silver chain around Sam's neck.
"Cute," Dean snarked.
"Being that we cannot find you or sense you," Balthazar said, not quite patiently, "this will help you call us should you need anything."
Sam's hand closed around the amulet. He could feel an inscription and an image, but there was no point in looking at it. "We just what… pray?"
"I love how you boys still call it praying," he said with a slight chuckle. Standing back, he tapped the top of the Impala, irritating Dean to no end, and then they were gone.
Glancing over at his brother, he said, "Okay, Sammy, let's do this." He put the car into drive and they made it to the front gates.
It was an odd looking place, a large parking lot, fenced, cameras, but not much else. There was a bored-looking guard standing near the walk-in entrance and Dean pulled into the parking lot. "Better chance at keeping Baby safe," he muttered.
Sam smiled just a little as he took off his seatbelt. "You have the stake?" he asked as he pushed his glasses up on his nose.
"Yeah and uh…" Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out the white cane.
Sam took it and frowned over at his brother. "I told you I didn't want it."
"Yeah well it completes the look, Sammy," Dean said, waving his hand at Sam's glasses. "Besides, you were right. You can't just know all of this seeing stuff, and if shit gets ugly in there and we have to fight, I need you able to hold your own."
Sam's jaw clenched but he gave a slight nod and opened his door. The guard, a man that looked to be in his late thirties, looked up at the brothers approaching. His eyes settled over Sam, the glasses and cane, and he sighed.
"Afternoon," Dean said, and Sam had to refrain from elbowing Dean as the elder Winchester slipped into his too-obvious fake, 'hi-how-are-ya' tone. "We're here to get some uh… healing."
"Did you make an appointment?" the man asked.
Dean let out a small cough. "Appointment, uh.,, well. Well no."
"We didn't realize we'd be needing one. The waitress we met during breakfast this morning said that her brother was profoundly deaf and was healed here," Sam said, letting his frustration and anguish over his entire situation leak into his voice. For dramatic effect, he pulled off his glasses and let his eyes roll up slightly into his head. "We just… we just were hoping…"
The guard, who was clearly torn between pity and irritation, sighed and said, "Well she's not very busy today, so I'll make an exception this once. However, if you boys tell others about this place, please ask them to make an appointment. The number's on the website."
Dean let out a small breath and smiled as the gate opened and he and Sam walked through. "There's a website?"
"Best way to advertise nowadays," Sam said with a slight shrug and a smile. They walked into the building, which looked a lot like the waiting room of a doctor's office. The woman behind the desk was on the phone and she looked over at the boys with an irritated smile.
"The guard just called in. Luckily for you, she's free."
"Thanks. Which way?" Dean asked.
"I'm sorry, she does individual appointments with those needing to be healed only," the woman said.
"Listen lady," Dean snapped, "there's no way I'm letting some hoaky healer put her hands on my brother—"
Sam put his arm on Dean's, silencing him. "It's fine, Dean. Really. I won't be long."
"No Sam, I don't like this," Dean said.
But Sam was not to be deterred, and he let the woman guide him back down the hall, leaving Dean stunned in the waiting room.
Sam was having trouble processing all of the sights around him, but he didn't let on as he was brought to a dimly lit room with a sofa and a small bench along the shaded window. The receptionist promised the healer would be with him soon.
Sam felt for the sofa to confirm what it was, and then sat. It felt like hours passed before Sam heard the knob turn and the door open. A woman walked in, tall, long, black hair, clothed in a simple, blue sari, and she was smiling.
"Sam Winchester, I had a feeling I would be seeing you here."
The voice was so familiar that Sam nearly panicked He rose, staring at her, trying to make sense of her form. "Kali?"
She laughed, her head shaking slightly back and forth. "I'm afraid Kali is dead. You were there, yes, when she was destroyed."
Sam swallowed, terrified but there wasn't much he could do about it. "Yes. I was."
She gave a little hum and walked a wide circle around him. "Take off your glasses." Sam obeyed as she stared into his eyes, smiling even wider. "You're not here to be healed. Or… are you?"
Sam blinked rapidly and swallowed. "Are you responsible for this?"
The Devi cocked her head to the side, and then let out a sigh. "No."
"Do you know who is?"
She smiled. "Yes." She took a step back, leaning against the counter in the corner of the room and crossed her arms. "My name is Shri-Lakshmi, though Lakshmi will do."
Sam gave a nod and tried to appear as reverent as he could. He could feel her humming with power, and he knew he was in no position to demand answers. Dean had the stake, and it was more likely that this goddess would kill Sam and Dean before Dean could make it down the hall.
Lakshmi laughed. "You're correct, your brother would not make it ten steps before he perished. Even with your Angelic help," she said and nodded to the amulet.
"We just want answers," Sam said.
"I can see that. Are you not happy with your newfound gift of sight?"
Sam frowned and crossed his arms. "No. Yes. I don't know. I'm not sure I consider this a gift."
Lakshmi gave a slight nod. "You were content." She started to pace again, just slightly, looking Sam up and down. "This is the work of my sister, Parvati. She and I are the only ones left, gifted with the powers to heal, although we are weak. Parvati has been making deals, working in the human soul trade for strength."
"And you?" Sam said, feeling slightly sick at the confession.
She looked at Sam, and by her tone he knew that the expression on her face was offense and disgust. "I would not lower myself. Dealing in soul trade for strength would make me an abomination. That is not our purpose."
Sam wasn't sure how to take that, how to take her, but the truth was, it didn't matter. He reached up and rubbed at his eyes. "Can you tell me what the purpose of this was?"
"A gift," she said with a simple shrug. "A thank you, if you will."
"From?" Sam pressed.
She smiled and shrugged. "An old friend."
"Demon?"
This time she laughed, the sound rushing through Sam and his head started to spin a little. "I want you to kill her."
Sam froze, staring at her with wide, uncomprehending eyes. "Kill her? Parvati? The goddess?"
Lakshmi spread her hands out and smiled. "Who else?"
"Why? Why kill her? I've been told repeatedly that it won't make a difference, that it won't matter."
"Because your old friend," she said slowly, walking up to Sam with deliberate steps, full of purpose, "is enslaved by her, and if you kill her, I will let him go."
She pressed something into Sam's hand, and he looked down at it. A hat. An old… and old trucker hat. He didn't see it, but he felt it. He'd felt it before, he knew that hat by touch, had since he was a baby and oh god…
"Bobby," he whispered. "How?"
She smiled. "You'll find her north, far north of here. She likes the dense forests and the rain. You kill her, and I will ensure that his spirit moves on."
Sam took a step back from her and tried to hold on to the hat, but it disappeared and his fingers closed in on his palm. There wasn't any other option. Sam didn't care, couldn't care, whether he could see or not, whether this was a gift or a curse, because Bobby was suffering. He was supposed to have been dead, to have let go.
"Fine," Sam said and with that, she was gone and he was alone. He didn't use his cane when he came out, and Dean, who looked like he'd been glued to the chair by supernatural forces, shot up the moment Sam came out.
The receptionist made a small noise but Sam ignored her as he approached his brother, hand out to mind the distance. His hand hit Dean's shoulder and then fisted the coat there. "We have to go."
"What happened?" Dean demanded, but Sam gave him a violent tug and Dean got the clue. Leading the way, Sam's hand on his shoulder, they shot out the doors and back through the front gates.
The guard called out something after them, but Dean roared the engines on the Impala and peeled out. "What the hell happened back there? Did you piss her off? Come on, Sammy!"
"Bobby," Sam said after a long, long time. He pressed his thumb and fingers into his eyelids and shook his head. "It was Bobby, Dean."
"What was Bobby? The Devi?" Dean asked incredulously.
"No," Sam said. "Bobby did this." He gestured to his eyes and then looked at his brother. "He sold his soul to another Devi, one who has been dealing in soul trafficking for power."
"That son of a bitch," Dean all-but shouted, slamming his hand on the steering wheel. "How many times are we going to save his ass? This is getting ridiculous."
"She said the other Devi, Parvati, is up north. In the rains. She said if we kill the other Devi, she will ensure Bobby's release and get him to heaven… or wherever." Sam said slowly.
"Fine, whatever," Dean said.
"You know we have to, right?" Sam pressed when he realized he wasn't sure if Dean was on board with the plan.
Dean sighed. "Why would Bobby do this?"
"She said it was a gift for me," Sam said, and his voice broke just a fraction at the end. "He could have just asked."
"Yeah, he could have. Hell, he could have asked me and I would have told him what a dumbass idea that was," Dean growled. "Now we gotta gank some god, and that never ends well…"
"A powerful one, I'm assuming," Sam replied as he toyed with the amulet around his neck. "Especially if she's been dealing in soul magic."
"You know Crowley is behind this," Dean said, shaking his head. "That son of a bitch has been vying for Bobby's soul for years. I'm sure he shot that Hindi bitch up with a buttload of power, too. He has to know we'd come after her."
"We need more information," Sam said.
"Cas!" Dean called, but there was no answer. "Cas, goddamn it! I'm not in the mood to wait around!"
Stillness, and Sam sighed, clutching the medallion and thought, "I don't want to see you, but I need you."
"I was beginning to wonder if you'd given up on me altogether," came the drawl from the back seat.
"Where's Cas?" Dean snapped.
"Busy," Balthazar said. "I suppose you've gotten your answer?"
Sam turned, looked directly at the Angel, and gave a slow nod. "I don't care if I can see or not, but the Devi has Bobby, or has traded him for power."
"That redneck ape," Balthazar sneered. "I didn't think anyone could possibly be worse than you two."
"Are you going to help us or not?" Dean snapped, glancing back at Balthazar with fire in his eyes.
"Oh well you haven't used the magic word," Balthazar said with a grin.
"Listen you feathery son-of-a-"
But Sam interrupted him, reaching out and taking Balthazar's wrist in his hand. He squeezed it lightly, but not gently, and found the Angel's eyes. "Please," he said in a neutral tone. "I get it, I get everything you said to me, but right now we do actually need your help. So please."
Something flared in the Angel's eyes, but Sam didn't understand this new world enough yet to know what it was. But it was… different, and it felt warm and Sam could feel the skin under his fingers heat up just a fraction.
"We just need a location," Sam said. "That's all."
Then his hand closed in on itself as Balthazar was gone, and he turned. "What a dick," Dean muttered. "That guy… why the hell is he hanging around, anyway. I thought you two were you know… over, or whatever."
"I don't know," Sam said slowly, shaking his head. "But I think he's going to help us."
"Yeah well fat lot of good his 'help' has done in the past," Dean said. "But I guess it's all we've got right now." There was a long pause and then Dean asked, "So where to?"
"North," Sam said. "Just… head north."