My Immortal - Redux

by VY Canis Majoris

A redux of the infamous My Immortal, as translated by Gizoogle.

8. Chapters 29-32

Chapter 23.

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!

Da door opened n' Proffesor Rumbridge n' Cornelia Fudge stomped up angrily. Then Dumbledum n' Rumbridge sawed us.

"MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her muthafuckin ass.

"Oops she done cooked up a mistake!" his schmoooove ass corrupted her n' shit. "Bitch means hi dem hoes cum in!"

Well we all came up in angrily. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So did all tha other hustlas. I sat between Darknizz n' Draco n' opposite B'loody Mary. Crab n' Goyle started 2 cook up some fuckin morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. I eight some Count Chocula n' drank som blood from a cold-ass lil cup. Then I herd one of mah thugs blastin angrily. I looked behind mah crazy ass it was…Vampire biaaatch! Dude n' Draco was blastin at eachother.

"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked.

"Yo ass fuckin bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I wanna shiznit next ta her!1"

"No I do!" shouted.

"No her dope ass don't fuckin like u, you lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch!" yelled Draco.

"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you, nahmean biiiatch?" shouted Vampire fo' realz. And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not up in dat way u perv) They started ta fight n' beat up each other.

Dumbldore yelled at dem but they didn't stop fo' realz. All of a sudden… a shitty playa wit red eyes n' no nozzle flew up in on his broomstick yo. Dude had no nozzle n' was bustin a gray robe fo' realz. All tha glass up in tha window he flew thru fell tha fuck apart. Britney dat fuckin prep started ta cry like a muthafucka. Vampire n' Draco stopped fighting….I shopped smokin….Everyone gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da room fell tha fuck silent….Volzemort!

"Eboby…..Ebony…." Darth Vala sed evilly up in his bangin raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Now I shall bust a cap up in thou n' I shall bust a cap up in Vampire as well. If thou do not bust a cap up in his ass before then I shall bust a cap up in Draco too!"

"Plz don't make me bust a cap up in his ass plz!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed crudely. "Bust a cap up in him, or I shall bust a cap up in his ass anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.

I bust tha fuck into tears. Draco n' Vampire came ta contort mah dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly mah eyes rolled up so they looked all def n' gothic. I had a vision was I saw some lightin flash n' then Voldremot comin ta bust a cap up in Draco while Draco slit his wrists up in a thugged-out pissed off way.

"No!" I screamed sexily. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly I locked up n' stopped havin tha vision.

"Ebony Ebony aure you aiiiight?" axed Draco up in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I holla'd sadly as I gots up.

"Everyfingz all right Enoby." holla'd Vampire all sensetive.

"No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down mah face. "OMFG what tha fuck if I be gettin possessed like up in Da Rin 2!"

"Its aiiight gurl." holla'd B'loody Mary. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinista bout what tha fuck tha visions mean though."

"Ok bich." I holla'd sadly n' den we went.

Chapter 24.

AN: prepz stup flamin da rap ur jus jelous so fuk u aiiight go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!

Well our crazy asses had Deviation next so I gots ta ask Proffessor Trevolry bout tha visions.

"Konnichiwa dem hoes come in." holla'd Proffesor Sinista up in Japanese n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch smelled all up in mah grill wit her gothic black lipstick. Dat hoe da coolest fuckin mackdaddy eva n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch had long dead black afro wit blood red tips n' red eyes. (hr momma woz a vampire. Dat hoe also haf Japanese so her big-ass booty speaks it n' everyfing. she n b'loody mry git along grate) Dat hoe straight-up lil' fo' a mackdaddy n' shit. 2dizzle dat biiiiatch was bustin a funky-ass black leather top wit red lace n' a long-ass goffik black ripped dress. Us thugs went inside tha black classroom wit pastorz of Emily tha Strong. I raced mah hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I was bustin some black naie Polish wit red pentagrams on dat shit.

"What tha fuck iz it Ebony?" she asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo I gots a straight-up boner fo' ur nail polish where'd u git it, Hot Topik?"

"Yeah." I answered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! All tha preps whoz ass didn't give a fuck what tha fuck HT was gave me weird looks. I gave dem tha middle finger n' shit. "Well I gotta rap ta you bout some fings. When do you wanna due it?"

"Ho bout now?" she asked.

"OK." I holla'd.

"OK class fuckin dissed n' dismissed every1." Proffesor Trevolry holla'd n' she let every1 go. "Except fo' you Britney." she pointed at Britney n' sum other preps. "Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3."

"OK I be havin lotz of visions." I holla'd up in a worried voice. I be soopa-doopa worried is Draco gong 2 take a thugged-out dirt nap.

Well she gave me a funky-ass black cryptal bizzle ta lock in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I looked at dat shit.

"What do you c?" she asked.

"I holla'd I peep a funky-ass black gothic skull n' a pentagram."

Suddenly there was a knock all up in tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I looked at dat shit. Dat shiznit was Draco yo. Dude was lookin straight-up dirty bustin a funky-ass black leather facet, a funky-ass black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt n' blak Congress shoes.

"Okay you can go now, peep ya playaaaaaa." holla'd Proffesor Sinister.

"Bye biiiatch." I holla'd waving.

I went ta Draco n' Vampire was chillin next ta his muthafuckin ass. We both followed Draco together n' I was so exhibited.

Chapter 25.

AN: stop flamin aiiight if u dnot den il tel Quentin 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz up in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1 raven fangz fo' de help!1

I was so excited. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. I fellowed Draco wanderin if we where goin 2 do it again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Us thugs went outside n' then we went tha fuck into Dracoz black car.

"Ebony what tha fuck tha fuck did Profesor Trevolry say." whispered Draco pottin his wild lil' freakadelic gothic whit hand wit bvlak nail polish on mine.

"Bitch holla'd dat biiiiatch would tell me what tha fuck tha visions meant torromow." I grumbled up in a thugged-out dirty voice yo. Dude took up a heroin cabaret n' spiked it, n' gave it ta me ta spork yo. Dude started ta fly tha hoopty tha fuck into a tree. Us thugs went ta tha top of dat shit. Draco put on some MCR.

"And all tha thangs dat you never eva holla'd at me

And all tha smilez dat is eva gonna haunt mah dirty ass." busted Gerardz dirty voice. We started tilin of each otherz cloves fevently yo. Dude took of mah blak thong n' mah black leather bar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I took of his black boxers. Then… he put his cold-ass trobbin you-know-what up in mah tool sexily.

"OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed havin a orgism. We stated frenchin passively. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly… I fell tha fuck asleep. I started havin a thugged-out dream. In it a funky-ass black playa was blastin two goffik pimps wit long black hair.

"No! Please don't fuckin bust a cap up in us!1" they pleaded but he just kept blastin em yo. Dude ran away up in a red car.

"No! Oh mah fuckin god!11" I shouted up in a scared voice.

"Ebony whatz wrong?" Draco axed mah crazy ass as I raised up openin mah icy blue eyes.

I started ta cry n' tearz of blood went down mah face. I holla'd at Draco ta booty-call Vampire yo. Dude done did it wit his blak Likin Park mobile. Butt da most thugged-out shitty thang was whoz ass tha ppl whoz ass was blasted up in tha trip where… Lucian n' Serious!111

Chapter 26.

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da rap den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y n' I wuznt beng rasist ok!11

A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree yo. Dude was bustin a funky-ass blak leather jackson, black leather baggy-ass pants n' a Dope Chralotte t-shirt.

"Yo Vampire." I holla'd flirtily as I started ta sob. Draco hugged mah crazy ass sexily tryont ta comfrot mah dirty ass. I started ta cry tearz of blood n' then holla'd at dem what tha fuck happened.

"Oh fuck it!" Vampire shouted angrily yo. He4 started ta cry sadly. "What fuckin dick did that!"

"I don't give a fuck." I holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Now come on our crazy asses have 2 tell Dumbledor."

We ran outta tha tree n' in2 da castle. Dumblydor was chillin up in his crib.

"Sire is dadz done been shot!" Draco holla'd while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Enoby had a vision up in a thugged-out dreem."

Dubleodre started ta cockle. "Hahahaha! And How tha fuck due u aspect me ta know Ebonyz not divisional?"

I glared at Dumbledore.

"Look motherfucker." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter). "U know straight-up well dat I aint decisional. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Now git some fuckin ppl up there ta look fo' Series n' Lucian- pornto!"

"Okay." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd up in a intimated voice. "Were is they?"

I fought bout dat shit. Then all of a sudden….. "Longdon." I holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I holla'd at his ass which street yo. Dude went n' called some playas n' did some shiznit fo' realz. After all dem mistunes his schmoooove ass came back n' holla'd playas was goin up lookin fo' em fo' realz. After a while one of mah thugs called his ass again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude holla'd dat they had been found. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Draco, Vampire n' I all left ta our rooms together n' shit. I went wit Draco ta wait up in tha nurses crib while Vampire went ta slit his wrists up in his bangin room. We looked at each otherz gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly Serious n' Lucian came up in on stretchers….and Proffesor Sinista was behind them!1

Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a gangbangin' fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flamin da fokin rap bichez!1111 fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n shiznit n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospitizzle rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111

Every1 up in tha room stated ta cry happly- I had saved em. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came ta gangbang mah dirty ass. Da nurse started ta give dem medicine.

"Cum on Enoby." holla'd Proffesor Sinatra. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was bustin a gothic blak leader dress wit a cold-ass lil corset top n' real vampir blood on it n' fukin black platinum boots, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. "I gotta rap tha fuckin perdition."

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake n' Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily n' went tha fuck into a thugged-out dark room. I had chizzled Profesor Sinista took up some black cards. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch started ta look tha fuck into a funky-ass black crucible bizzle. Kick dat shit! Biatch holla'd… "Tara, I peep drak times is near." Biatch holla'd badly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch peered tha fuck into da balls. "Yo ass see, you must go back up in time." Biatch took up a Time-Toner like B'loody Mary had. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "When Voldemint was up in Hogwarts before his thugged-out lil' punk-ass became bangin he gut his hearth borken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Now do you fink da thug would still become Volxemort if da thug was up in love?" I shook mah head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "U must go back up in time n' sedouce his muthafuckin ass. Well shiiiit, it is tha only way. If he is still evil then you must bust a cap up in his muthafuckin ass. Yo ass can come ta mah room tomorrow n' you can do dat shit."

"Okay." I holla'd sadly fo' realz. All our asses dudes id dethz tuch sin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I went outside again n' again n' again sadly.

"What fuckin happened?" axed Draco n' Vampire.

"Yeah what tha fuck happened?" axed Darkness, Willow n' Boldy Mary?

I was bout ta tell dem booty every1 was there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. They was biggin' up Lucian n' Sirius bein fond. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Everyone was proud as a muthafucka of me booty I jut wonted 2 rap 2 Draco. They was cheesin mah name n' some hustlas was there, tryin ta rap battle Dumblydore fo' realz. A banner was put up. Lotz of fuckin prepz was there oviously trin 2 be b goffik werin tha HIM sign on they handz- depite dem not havin akshelly heard of his muthafuckin ass. Even Mista Muthafuckin Noris looked aiiight fo' realz. A blak n' red cake had been brought out. Crabbe n' Goyke set up some fireworx up in tha shape of skulls from Wesleyz Whizard Wises.

I put on mah Invisibilitizzle coke wit Vampire n' Draco n' we sneaked outside 2gether.

Chapter 28.

AN: I sed stop gflmain da rap it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav funk wif kiwi!1111111

Us thugs went in2 a funky-ass blak room. Da wallz was blak wit portraitz of gothic bandz lik MCR, GC n' Marlin Mason all over em fo' realz. A big-ass black coffin was up in tha middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There was three chairs made of bones wit real skullz up in dem. I wuz bustin a funky-ass blak corset bar wif purple shiznit on it, fishnet suckings n' a funky-ass blak leather thong underneath.

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So did Drako n' Vampire.

"Is you aiiight?" Vampir axed pottin his thugged-out albastard hand on mine yo. Dude was bustin black nail polish. I was bustin blak nail polish wit red crosses on dat shit.

"Yah I guess." I holla'd sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly wit mah blak lipstick. "Da problem is….I gotta seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak up in time"

Draco started ta cry sadly. Vampire hugged his muthafuckin ass.

"Itz aiiight Eboby." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd finally. "But what tha fuck bout me, biatch? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, is yo slick ass?"

"Of coarse not!" I gasped.

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure." I holla'd.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at our asses longingly.

Then… I took off Dracoz MCR shrift n' seductvely took of his thugged-out lil' pants yo. Dude was hung lik a stallone yo. Dude had replaced tha Vampire tattoo dat holla'd Enoby on dat shit. Black roses was round dat shit. I gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz aiiight b4).

I took of mah threadz den we was up in 4 da rid of r lif.

We started frechin as we climbed tha fuck into tha cofin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude put his spock up in mah you-know-what n' passively our phat asses done did dat shit.

"I gots a straight-up boner fo' you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." da perved-out muthafucka screamed as we gots a orgasm. Us thugs peeped Vampire filmed every last muthafuckin thang perfectly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly….

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"

It was….Snope n' Profesor McGoggle!111

Chapter 29.

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111

"Oh mah satan!1" we screamed as our laid-back asses jamped outta da coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snap n' Pimp McGoonagle started ta blast at our asses angrily.

"CUM NOW!1!" Preacher McGongel yielded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! All our asses dudes id guiltily. We left tha room puttin on our clothes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snoop garbed tha caramel n' put it up in his thugged-out lil' pocket.

"Yo what tha fuck tha fuck!111" Vampire blasted angrily.

"Yeah busta what tha fuck tha fuck is u goin ta do wit tha fuckin camera?" Draco demonded all protective, lookin all up in mah grill Longley wit his wild lil' freakadelic gothic red eyes. "Look, Dumblehor noes yo' lil secret n' if u do dis again, then u will git all up in St Mango's. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So give back da camera!1111"

Hahahaha tha Mystery of Mogic be thinkin he is wild-ass there is no way dey wil believe his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snoop laughed meanly.

"Yes yes y'all, so shut yo' mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor McGoggle. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch made our asses cum tha fuck into a weird room wit white stones all round dat shit. There was all these werid tools up in dat shit. Draco started ta cry all dirty n' sexitizzle (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).

I started ta cry tearz of blood (it hapnz up in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so aiiight so fok u!1). Vampire took up a funky-ass black honkerchizzle n' started ta wipe mah red eyes.

And then….. he n' Snoop both took up glocks rockin magic. They started ta blast each other angrily. Non of tha ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took up mah wand.

"Crosio!" I shouted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snap stated 2 scram da ruffneck dropd da gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But dat shiznit was too late. Both of dem had run outta ballets, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor McGizoogle did a spell so dat we was all chained up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch took up a funky-ass box of tools. Den her big-ass booty holla'd "OK Serverus I be goin 2 go now, nahmeean?" Biatch left. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snap started ta laugh evilly. Vampire started ta cry like a muthafucka.

"It aint nuthin but aiiight Enoby." holla'd Draco. "Everchronic is ghon be all right. Remember tha cideo u took of Snake."

Snape laughed again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And then...he took up some whips!1!1111

Chapter 30.

AN: stop flamin da rap aiiight u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan lick muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111

"No!11" we screamed sadly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snap stated loafin meanly yo. Dude took up a kamera anvilly. Then… his schmoooove ass came tordz Darko!1! Dude took sum stones outta his thugged-out lil' poket yo. Dude put da stones round Draco n' nit a cold-ass lil candle.

"What tha fuck r u bustin!" I blasted arngrily. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snoop laughed meanly yo. Dude polled down his thugged-out lil' pants, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!

Dude waved his wand n' a nife came yo. Dude gave da knife 2 mah dirty ass.

"U must stab Vrompire." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd ta mah dirty ass. "If u don't then I be bout ta rap Draco!1"

"No you fuckin bastrad!1" I yielded.

But den Draco looked all up in mah grill sadly wit his wild lil' fuckin evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant n' sexy yo. Dude lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Kurt Cobain n' Gerard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But then I looked at Vampire n' he looked so smexy too wif his wild lil' freakadelic goffik black hair.. n' you KNOWS of da time when we screwed n' tha time I done did it wit Draco n' Dumblydore came n' tha tame where Draco almost commited suicizzle n' Vampire wuz so sportive.

Snipe laughed angrily yo. Dude started ta prey ta Volxemort yo. Dude started ta do a incapacitation ridin' dirty round tha stokes whippin Draco n' Vampire. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly a scam I had. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I clozd mah eyes n' rockin mah vampire powers I busted a telepathetic massage ta Drako n' Vampire so they would destruct Snape.

"Dumbeldork will git u!" Draco blasted.

"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery smoke up!11" Vampire yelled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Meanwhile I took up mah wand.

"Yo ass ridiculus dondderhed!111" Snoop yielded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude took off all of Dricoz clothes. Just as da thug was bout ta rape him….

"Crosio!" I shited pointin mah wound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Snoop scremed n' started hustlin round da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed mah blak mobile n' busted a txt 2 Serious. I stopped bustin crucio.

"Yo ass dunderhed!111 Im goin ta kill-" blasted Snape but suddenly Serverus came.

Snake put tha whip behind his bak. "Oh wassup Sev I wuz just teachin dem sumthing." he lied. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But suddenly Lusian n' Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room n' they n' Serious unlocked tha chains n' put dem round Snap. Then Profesor Trevolry holla'd 'Come on Ebony letz go."

Chapter 31.

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 stop kalin ebony a mary su aiiight u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen aiiight so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111

"I always knew u was on Voldemortz side, you sun of a funky-ass bitca (bufy rox!111)." Serious holla'd 2 Snape.

"No I aint I was teachin dem somefing!1" Snap clamed.

"Oh fuckin yeah?" I took some blak Volremortserum outta mah poket n' gave it ta Serverus yo. Dude made Snap dirnk it yo. Dude did arngrily. Then Luscious took up a tape recorder n' started playin it while da ruffneck did curses on Snap. Then Proffesor Sinista n' Lucian made our asses git up wif dem while Snape holla'd at his secretes. Lucian took Vampure n' Draco ta tha nurse afta thankin me a millon times. Profesor Trevolry took me ta a thugged-out dark room. Now I wuz goin ta go back up in time ta sedouce Volxemort. Movin postaz of MCR n' Nrivana was all over n' shiznit yo. Hermoine, Darknizz n' Willow came like a muthafucka. B'loody Mary gave me a funky-ass blak bag from Tomothy Ridz store.

"Whatz up in da bag?" I axed Profesor Trevolry.

"U will c." her big-ass booty holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I opened thee bag. In dat shiznit was a thugged-out dirty tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. Well shiiiit, it had red korset shiznit n' there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. My fuckin frendz helped mah crazy ass put on blak fishnetz n' blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Willow n' Darknizz helped mah crazy ass put on black eyeliner n' blod-red lipshtick.

"Yo ass look fuckin kawaii, biiiatch." B'loody Mary holla'd.

"Fangs." I holla'd.

"Ok now yo ass is goin ta go back up in tim." holla'd Proffesor Sinista n' shit. "U will gotta do it up in all dem sessionz." Biatch gave me a funky-ass blak gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I put it up in a strap on mah fishnetz like up in Redisnet Evill. Then she gave me a funky-ass black time-tuner n' shit. "After a minute use da time torner ta go back here." Proffesor Trevolry holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Then she n' B'loody Mary put a Pensive up in front of mah dirty ass. Every1 went up in front of dat shit.

"Dope luk!1" Everryone blasted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Darkess n' Willow gave me dethz bust a nut on sin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive.

Suddenly I was up in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had eva seen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude was werin long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black yo. Dude had gren eyes like Bizzleie Joe Amstrung n' pale whit skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude wuz bustin a funky-ass blak ripped up suit wif Vans. Well shiiiit, it was….Tomothy Bombodil!1111

Chapter 32.

AN: I sed stup fflamin I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de rap den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

"Hi." I holla'd flirtily. "Im Enoby Way da freshly smoked up hustla." I shok mah pale handz wif they blak noil polish wif his muthafuckin ass.

"Da namez Tom." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "But u kan call me Satan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Datz ma middle nam"

We shok hands. "Well come on our crazy asses have 2 go upstairs." Satan holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I followed his muthafuckin ass. "Yo Satan…..do u happen ta be a gangbangin' hustla of Gren Day?" (sinz mcr n' evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.

"Oh mah fukin god, how tha fuck did u know?" Satan gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "actually I wanna bust a nut on gc a shitload like a muthafucka."(geddit coz gc did dat cold lil' woo wop I just wanna live thatz ounded straight-up 80s)

"aww shiiiit dawg me too!" I replied happily.

"guess what tha fuck they gotz a gangbang up in hogsment." satan whispered.

"hogsment?" I asked.

"yeah thatz what tha fuck they used ta booty-call it up in these time before it became Hogsmeade up in 2000." tha pimpin' muthafucka holla'd at mah crazy ass all sekrtivly. "and theres a straight-up def shop called Hot-"

'topic!" I finshed, aiiight again.

Dude froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo." Dude smiled skrtvli again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "then up in 1998 dey changd it ta bangin' topic." he moaned.

"ohh." now every last muthafuckin thang was makin sense fo' mah dirty ass. "so is dumblydor yo' princepill?" I shouted.

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im up in slitherin'"

"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED.

"u git all up in dis skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.

"yah thatz why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili.

Suddenly dumblydore flew up in on his broomstuck n' started shreddin at our asses angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" dat schmoooove muthafucka had short blonde afro n' was bustin a polo hoodie from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!"

satan rolled his wild lil' fuckin eyes. "his so mean ta our asses goffs n' punks just becose we up in slytherine n' we not preps."

I turned round angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord."

"wtf?" he axed angrily.

"oh nuffin." I holla'd dopely.

then suddenlyn…. tha floor opened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. mah playas looked At ME weirdly."

"hey where r u goin?" satan axed as I fell.

I gots outta tha hole n dat shiznit was bak up in tha pensive up in pimp trevolryz classroom. dumblydum wuz dere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. "dumblydore I be thinkin I just kicked it wit u." I holla'd.

"oh yeah I rememba that." dumblydor holla'd, tryin ta be all goffik.

sinista came in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "hey dis is mah classroom wait wtf enoby what tha fuck da hell r u bustin?"

:"um." I looked at her muthafuckin ass.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."

"wth how?" I screamed forgettin dat biiiiatch was a mackdaddy fo' a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! but shes a goff so its ok.

professor sinsta looked sad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "um I was drankin voldemortserum." her big-ass booty started ta cry black tearz of depression. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. dumblydum didn't give a fuck bout em.

"hey r u bustin up like a biatch tearz of blood?" he axed curiously, tuchin a tear.

"git tha fuck outta mah grill wit dat bullshit!" we both holla'd n' dumblydum took his hand away.

professor sinsta started bustin up like a biatch again n' again n' again up in her chair, sobbin limpid tears. "omfg enoby…I be thinkin im addicted ta Voldemortserum."

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112

Chapter 33.

AN: I sed shut tha fuck up itz nut mah folt aiiight if u don't lik da rap den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut uppimpin ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I pimps it!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz raven 4 di help il promiz ta help u wif ur rap lolz1

"Oh mah fukin god!1" I blasted sadly. "Shud we git u 2 St Manga's, biiiatch?"

"Hel no!" her big-ass booty holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Lizzen Egogy, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak up in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tomothy Andorson 4 sum help?"

"Sure I holla'd sadly. I went outside tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Draco was there!111 Dude wuz bustin a funky-ass big-ass blak GC tshiznit which wuz his thugged-out lil' panamas.

"Yo Sexxy." I holla'd.

"How'd it go Enoby?" he axed up in his voice was so dirty n' low kinda like Gerard Way when hes rappin'.

"Fine." I reponded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.

"How tha fuck far did u go wif Satan?" Drako axed jealously.

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked.

"Will you hav ta do it wit him?" Draco axed angstily.

"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily. Den I felt wack 4 blastin at his muthafuckin ass. I holla'd sorry. We frenched.

"What happened 2 Snipe?" I growled.

"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly yo. Dude opened a thugged-out door…Snap nd Lumpkin werz there!11 Serious waz pokerin dem by stagin dem wif a funky-ass blak nife.

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! I laffed statistically. I tok some photonz of his ass n' Snap bin torqued. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (ok I no dis iz pimps but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem n' neway sadiztz rok haz any1 peeped shrak atak 3 lolz). We took sum of Snipez blod den Drako n' I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on mah goffik blak coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. My fuckin cloves was kinda dritizzle so I pot on a funky-ass blak leather tracksuit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz up in Undreworld. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (if u aint herd of it den FUK U!111) . I put on some blak platform high heelz. Darko put on 'desolizzle liverz' by MCR. Den….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shiznit nd dat schmoooove muthafucka had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak up lik up in Da Grudge yo. Dude pot his wetnes up in mah u-know-what sexily. I gut a orgy.

"Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fukin gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively as he gots a eructation.

"I luv u TaEbory." da thug whispred sexily n' den we fel aspleep lol.

Chapter 34.

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1

I wook up in da coffin de next day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Draco waz gone. I gots up n' put on a funky-ass blak tight sexah drsss dat was all ripped at da end yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. There wuz red korset shiznit goin up da fornt n' da bak n' it came up 2 mah knees. There wuz a slit up in da dress lik up in mr & mr simth. I pot on ripped blak fishnets n' blak stilton bo-ots, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly…. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sorious cocked on da door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I hopened dat shit.

"Yo Ibony." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistorz crib."

"Ok." I holla'd up in a thugged-out deprezzd voice. I had wanted ta fuk Draco or maybe lessen ta MCR or Evonezcence. I came anyway.

"So what tha fuck tha fuck happened 2 Snipe n' Loopin?" I axed Sorious flirtily.

"I fuckin tortured em." he answered up in a statistic way. "They r up in Abkhazian now, lol."

I laughed evilly.

"Where r Draco n' Vampira?" I muttered.

"Dey is xcused form skool 2day." Sodomize moaned sexily. "Rite now they is watchin Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas."

Us thugs went tha fuck into da crib. Proffesor Sinista was there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was bustin a goffik blak dress dat was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears up in dis pic

( http/ Biatch wuz drankin some Volximortserum.

Bitch took up da Pensiv n' tha time-torner.

"Enoby, yo big-ass booty is ghon gotta do anozzer session now fo' realz. Also I need u ta git me da cure 4 bein adikited." her big-ass booty holla'd sadly. "Dope luck. Fangz!"

And then….I jumped tha fuck into tha Prinsive again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly I looked around…I was up in da Grate Hall smokin Count Chorcula. Dat shiznit was mourning. I was chillin next ta Satan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. On a table was a tall gottik playa wif long blak hair, pail skin n' blue eyes werin a suit n' blak Cronvrese shoes yo. Dude looked just like Charlyn Manson. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I noticed…he was drankin a portent.

"Whose he!11" I asked.

"Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn." Satan holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Dat punk da Portents mackdaddy…..Ebony?"

"Yah?" I asked.

"Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playin up in Hogsemade tonight, biatch? And they r showin Da Exercise at da pornos b4 dat."

"Yah?"

"Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort n' da porno wif me?"

Chapter 35. gost of u

AN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea!1 u rok! fuk of prepz!11111111 fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111 oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!1 fangz.

I went in2 da Conmen Room finkin of Satan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly I gasped…..Draco wuz there!111

I grasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude locked as hut as eva werrin blak ledder pants, a funky-ass blak Lonken Prak t-shrit n' blak eyeliner.

"Draco what tha fuck da fuk r u dong!111111" I gosped.

"Huh?" he asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Then I remembred. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it wuzn't Draco. Dat shiznit was Lucan!1 Dude stil had two arms.

"Oh hi Lucian!1" I sed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Im Ebony tha freshly smoked up hustla lol we shook handz."

"Yah Satan holla'd at mah crazy ass abot yo thugged-out ass." Lusian holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude pinted ta a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz. They where sitin up in a cold-ass lil corner kutting. Well shiiiit, it wuz Serious, Vampirez daddy and…Snap! All of dem was bustin blak eyeliner n' blak Dope Chralootte crew shirts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. "Lizzen I be up in a goth crew wif dem hoes." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Were playin 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.

"ORLY." I ESKED.

"Yeah." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Spartacus skits da drums" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd pontin ta his muthafuckin ass. "Snap skits tha boss fo' realz. And Jamez skits tha boombox ta even fo we call his ass Samaro, afta Samara up in da ring."

"Yo bastards." I holla'd at dem they gave me Dethz tuch sin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly I gasped again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "But don't u gotz a lead thug!" I asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Lucian looked dawn sadly.

"We uzd ta but her dope ass done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch contempted suicizzle by siltin her rists."

"Oh mah fukin god!11 Datz so fukin sad!1" I gasped.

"Its all gravy but we need a freshly smoked up hustled snigger." Samaro holla'd.

"Wel…..I holla'd Im up in a funky-ass bnad mah dirty ass."

"Rilly?" axed Snap. I cudnt belive it yo. Dude used 2 b goffik!111

"Yeah was called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?"

Yeah holla'd everyone. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So tha pimps tok up der guitarz. They fuckin started ta pay a cold lil' woo wop bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day.

"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of fucked up dremz." I busted sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped.

"Enopby, biatch? Will u join da band, biatch? Plz!1" begged Lucian, Samoro, Serious n' Snap.

"Um….ok." I shrugged. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Is we gong ta play tonight?"

"Yah." they holla'd.

"Ok." I holla'd but I freshly smoked up dat I had 2 git a freshly smoked up tracksuit. I strutted outside wonderin how tha fuck I kud go forward up in time. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly one of mah thugs jumped up in fornt of mah dirty ass. Well shiiiit, it wuz…..Morty Mcfli!1 Dude was werin a funky-ass blak bnad tshrit n' blak bagy jeans.

"What da hell r u dong here!11" I asked.

"I wil help u go frowad up in tim Enoby." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd siriusly Den….he took up a funky-ass blak tim machine. I went in2 it and…..sudenly I wuz forward up in tim!111

Chapter 36.

AN: I sed stop flamin ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly oldschool srevinty yr oldz!111 ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!1 o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!111 hav funk up in englond gurl!11111

I loked round up in a thugged-out depresed way. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly I saw Profesor Sinista n' shit. B'lody Mary, Socrates n' Draco, Vampire n' Willow was they to.

"OMFG Sorius I saw u nd Samaro n' Snip nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b goffik!111111"

"Yah I no." Serious holla'd sadly.

"Oh hey there biiiatch." Profesor Trevolry holla'd up in a emo voice dirnkin some Volxemortserom.

Yo fuker." I holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Lizzen, Satan axed mah crazy ass up ta a gottik cornet n' a porno so I need a sexah freshly smoked up tracksuit fo' da date fo' realz. Also I be playng up in a gothic crew so I need a ootfit fo' dat like a muthafucka."

"Oh mah satan!1" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik) gasped B'lody Mary. "Want 2 git all up in Hot Topik ta shop 4 ur tracksuit?"

"OMFS, letz gotz a groop kuttin session!11" holla'd Profesor Trevolry.

"I can't fuckin wait 4 dat but we need 2 git sum shiznit first." holla'd Willow.

"Yah we need sum portions fo' Profesor Trevolry so dat biiiiatch aint gonna be adikted 2 Volxemortserum no mo' nd also….sum luv potion 4 Enoby." Darko holla'd resultantly.

"Well our crazy asses have potions klass now, nahmeean?" Willow holla'd so letz go.

Us thugs went sexily ta Potionz class. But Snap wasn't there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Instead there was…Cornelio Fuck!11111

"Yo where tha fuck is Dumblydore!111" Draco shouted angrily.

"STFU!1" blasted Cornelia Fuck. "Dude is up in Azkhabian now wif Snip n' Loopin he is oldschool n' week dat schmoooove muthafucka has kancer n' shit. "Now do ur work!111"

My fuckin playaz n' I talked arngrily.

"Yo ass betta BELEVE Snap used ta be gottik!1" Vampire axed surprisedly.

"DATZ IT!11" CORNELIO FUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR BRIDGE!111"

Dude stomped up angrily.

Mi frendz n' I fuckin started rappin' again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I fuckin started ta drank some blod mixed wif brew n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly I saw Hargrid up in da cupboard.

"WTF is da ruffneck bustin?" I asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Then I looked at Draco yo. Dude wuz bustin tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly…"HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" da perved-out muthafucka blasted.

I looked around….Hairgrid wuz puttin sumfin up in mah glass of blod!11 Darko n' Vampire started 2 beat his ass up sexily.

"Dogg u r such a posr!1" I blasted at Hairgrid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly I looked ar what tha fuck da thug was puttin up in da blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Well shiiiit, it was…Amnesia Portion!111

Chapter 37.

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flamin sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11

DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL

Vampire n' I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor.

"Oh mi fuckin satan!11" Enoby holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch wuz so hot. "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll up in ludd wif me faster!1"

"But u r so dirty n' straight-up dope aneway Tata," holla'd Vampire. "Why would u need it?"

"To make everyfin go fasta lol." holla'd Enoby.

"But you aint gonna gotta do it wif his ass or anyfing, will u?" I axed jelosly.

"OMFG u guyz r so freaky!11" holla'd Britney, a gangbangin' fuckin prep.

"Shut tha fuk up!1" holla'd Willow.

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolryz room."

Draco, Ebory n' I went ta Profesor Siniaterz room. But Profesor Sinista wasn't there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Instead Tomothy Rid was.

Oh hi fuckers da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Lizzen, I gots u sum kewl freshly smoked up clovez.

I took up da cloves from da bag. Dat shiznit was a goffik blak leather miniskirt dat holla'd '666' on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz n' a funky-ass blak corset.

"OMG fangz!" I holla'd huggin his ass up in a gothic way. I took da threadz up in da bag.

"OK Profesor Sinista isnt hr what tha fuck tha fuk should our phat asses do?" axed Draco. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

"Oh mah fukin satan!1" I screamed as I read dat shit. On it holla'd Evry1 Profesor Sinista be away. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is too gottik her ass is up in Azkhabian now, nahmeean, biatch? Classes shal be taught by Dubledork whoz ass is bak but da perved-out muthafucka shall not be principal 4 now, nahmeean, biatch? Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How tha fuck could they do that!11"

Suddenly Dumblydore came.

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" his thugged-out lil' punk-ass fuckin started ta blast angrily. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcflyz blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leavin Draco n' Vampire. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sudenly I wuz back up in tim!11 I looked around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it was…Profesor Slutbornz efface biaaatch! I sneaked around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his fuckin lil' desk. Well shiiiit, it wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz up in dat shit. Dat shiznit was tha shape of a cold-ass lil cross. I put it up in mah poket. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly da door opened it wuz…..Profesor Slutgorn!11

OMG wut r u bustin fuker da perved-out muthafucka blasted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

"Oh sorry I wuz just lookin round koz I thought it wuz class." you holla'd finally hopin his schmoooove ass couldn't c da potion up in ur pocket.

"Oh aiiight u can go now, nahmeean?" holla'd Profesor Slutborn.

Yo ass went ta tha conmen room afta puttin on mah clothes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Silas, Samaro n' Snap was there practicin Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.

"Oh hi you hoes." I holla'd seductively. "Wheres Satan?"

"Oh his schmoooove ass cumming." holla'd Serious. "BTW u can kall me Hades now, nahmeean?" Suddenly Satan came yo. Dude was bustin a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt n' a funky-ass blak tie.

"Ok I'ma peep you guyz at da concert." I holla'd n' then I went wit Satan.

Chapter 38.

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory n' den I add sum mo' 2 it afta vocation, biatch? oh yah asnd prepz stup flamin if u dnot lik dat rap den take muh quiz aiiight den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111

Satan n' I strutted 2 his car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Well shiiiit, it wuz a funky-ass blak hoopty wif pentagrams all over dat shit. On da license plate holla'd 666 just lik Dracoz car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I went up in it seduktivly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stan started 2 drive dat shit. We talked bout Satanizzle (lolz da thug wuz named afta Satan), kuttting, musik n' bein goffik.

"Oh mah satan, Gerard is so fukin hot!11" Volxemort agreed as we smoked sum weed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (koz bi guyz r bangin' dey r so sensitizzle I luv dem lol goez fux a funky-ass bi guy)

"Lol, I straight-up decided not 2 comit suicizzle when I herd Hilena." I holla'd up in a gangbangin' flirty voice. "….Yo Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Volxemortseruem?"

"Well…" tha pimpin' muthafucka thought. "I fink u have 2 drank Vampire blod."

Suddenly Volxemort parked da hoopty behind a funky-ass blak porno theater n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan n' I strutted outside. Us thugs went in2 da porno tether was they was showin da Excercist. In it a funky-ass pimp n' a gurl was bustin it sudenly a cold-ass lil cereal killa came lol. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan n' I laughed at da blood koz we sadists.

While Satan was watchin da porno, I had a idea. I took Satanz gothic blak Nightmare b4 Chrizzle cigar sexily from his thugged-out lil' poket n' put sum Amnesia potion up in dat shit. I put it bak up in his blak Emile tha Strange bag. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan turned arund n' started 2 smoke dat shit. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly round all over dis biiiatch.

"OMG!111" Satan holla'd jumpin up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Enoby gess what?"

I freshly smoked up dat tha amnesia had worked.

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it aint gonna work." Dude holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u."

"Kul." I raised mah eye suggestingly fo' realz. And den…. tha pimpin' muthafucka tok of mah cloves sexily n' we started 2 make out. I tok of his shiznit yo. Dude had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched.

"Xcuze me but u r goin 2 have 2 leave!111" blasted da lady behind our asses dat biiiiatch was a prep.

"Fuk u!11" I holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly…. I attaked her sukin all her blood.

"Noooooo!11" her big-ass booty screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! All tha preps up in da theater screamed but any suckas crapped koz Satan n' I loked so thugged-out 2gether n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan n' I started ta strutt outside.

"Zaww shiiiit dawg how tha fuck did u do that?" Voldremort axed up in a turned-on voice.

"I be a vampire." I holla'd as we went tha fuck into tha car.

"Siriusly?" he gasped.

"Yah siriusly." I holla'd drankin sum brew n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan started 2 drive da car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I smelled happily.

"Itz too wack our phat asses didn't git 2 c da rest of tha porno, don't u fink?"

"Yah." I holla'd as we kised passively. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan parked up in a funky-ass blak driveway next 2 da place where Draco n' I had peeped GC fo' tha frist time. Us thugs went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playin n' started ta mosh lol.

"Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111" screamed Marlin on da stage fo' realz. All our asses dudes id tha devil fingers. I started 2 dizzle straight-up close ta Satan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude was so shmexay!1 Dude looked all up in mah grill all emo wit his wild lil' freakadelic gothic red eyes n' he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost gots a orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped rappin.

"I wood like ta peasant…..XBlakXTearX!11" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I ran onstage. Lucian, Samaro, Snap n' Hades was there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. They started 2 play they instilments, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I gots onstag.

"Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My fuckin voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee n' a gurl version of Gerard Woy. Everyone clappd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Satan gots a eructation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "I'M NUT OKAY!1" I busted finaly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly Lucian started playin da cold lil' woo wop wack by mistak.

"OMFG!1" yielded James. "Wut tha fuck?"

"Woops im sory!" holla'd Lucian.

"Yo ass fukin ashhole!1" Jizzy shouted angrily.

"U pimps is such prepz!11" Snap holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Cum on it wuz a mistake!1"

"Yah itz not his wild lil' fault!11" holla'd Serious.

"No he fucked up tha fuckin song!1" yelled Samaro.

"U pimps stop!11" I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all fuckin started 2 fight. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sudenly Samaro took up hiz nife.

"OMFG no!11" shouted Lucan but it wuz 2 late Jizzy tried 2 blast off his thugged-out arm.

And den…I jumped secxily up in front of da bullet!11

"No!111" yielded mah playas but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfin went blak.

Chapter 39. I Am A Trollin Genious, lolz

Disclaimer: I do not own tha HP series n' I aint tha real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.

AN/ I be a mad immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack dis girlz passy fo' funk (and it took less than 8 minutes ta do it too) n' will probably git up in a shitload of shit. Which I probably deserve 'cause I be bein a troll n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do. Meh.

And I present ta you MY crappy part up in dis story. (And take note I aint even finished readin dis fic yet yo, but instead skip over ta skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, tha Gangsta retail bustin british vampire Sue, coughed up blood.

Satan kneeled down beside mah dirty ass.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave his ass a rueful smile. "I be sorry. It aint nuthin but suttin' I had ta do, ta fufill mah duty as tha noble gothic Mary Sue."

Satan sobbed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I gots a straight-up boner fo' you Ebony."

"I gots a straight-up boner fo' you two. I be bout ta...I be bout ta peep you up in hell." I mumbled, already findin mah surroundings fadin ta black.

B'loody Mary Smizzle suddenly popped tha fuck into tha room fo' no apparent reason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch frowned when she realized tha room was oddly on tha down-low yo, but all up in tha sight of Ebonyz gameless body, her big-ass booty screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Her grill became pale wit horror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch screamed fo' tha healers, Dumbledore, Mcgoogle, n' every last muthafuckin single gothic thug dat thugged-out biiiatch could be thinkin of.

Suddenly, a glow started ta surround tha body of Ebony. Everyone stared up in shock yo. Her body started ta lift eva so slowly n' then, ta everyonez shock, it started ta incinerate.

When mah playas realized what tha fuck was happening, they rushed over ta try ta rescue tha body yo, but dat shiznit was too late, tha Sue became not a god damn thang mo' then a pile of ashes.

A bangin resoundin of mah playas bellowin "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled tha room.

A flash of white light from tha ashes then started ta bounce round tha room. Everyone cowered up in fear n' was temporarily blinded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! When dat shiznit was all over, thangs chizzled.

All tha wack-ass goth threadz dropped from everyonez bodies (AN/I'ma refuse ta explain how tha fuck tha hell dat happened.) and, up in they place, threadz tha charactas would normally wear up in canon rocked up on they bodies.

When mah playas gots over tha shock of becomin free of tha gofick power, dem hoes hollared. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Everyone started rappin 'Din dong tha sue is dead as fuckin fried chicken...' Well, dat is, until all tha HP charactas realized tha legit implicationz of becomin mo' canon like again.

All tha charactas whoz ass was supposed ta be dead fell tha fuck ta tha floor, they bodies cold n' gameless yo. Harry n' Voldemort started dueling. On tha left side of tha two, tha battle of tha Light Side n' tha Dark Side was reachin a cold-ass lil climax.

And, cuz tha replacement lyricist also likes ta screw round wit canon, Draco n' Hermione fled tha scene n' gots married.

Meanwhile...

Down up in hell, Ebony shed a single tear cuz of her current thang fo' realz. A thang dat would live on fo' all eternity. Or at least until tha end of fanfiction time.

Bitch lost it all yo, but she knew dat freaky freaky biatch had ta remain strong. Nothang would eva break her down.

Bitch looked down over her pale body, n' frowned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 'Where is mah emo clothes?' Biatch axed her muthafuckin ass up in mad drama.

And then it occured ta her muthafuckin ass...

For her shirt, dat biiiiatch was bustin a funky-ass bright pink polo wit a lil seagull on tha (right or left, biatch? I can't remember) side. Below that, dat biiiiatch was bustin a thugged-out denim miniskirt wit tha "destroyed" look on dat shit. Paired underneath dat skirt was leggings wit a lil moose all up in tha bottom fo' realz. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, dat biiiiatch was carryin a pimpin' bag wit a eagle on it dat holla'd Live Yo crazy-ass Life freestyled all over tha bag.

Ebony supressed tha urge ta scream yo. Here dat biiiiatch was decked up in threadz prep ta tha off tha hook bustin shiznit from Abercrombie n' Fitch, Gangsta Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Ebony hastily tried ta take off tha Hollista polo yo, but underneath it, there was another Hollista polo underneath. Ebony frowned, n' looked under her shirt fo' realz. All her big-ass booty saw was a funky-ass bra underneath (dare I point up itz from tha Aerie line available at Gangsta Eagle?). Ebony tried ta remove tha hoodie again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But ta her frustration, there was yet again n' again n' again another polo ta replace dat shit.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Ebony bellowed up ta tha air. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch failed ta peep tha irony up in her statement, how tha fuck hypocrytical her lyrics were, seein as dat biiiiatch was practically callin tha kettle black here.

Ebony slit her writs n' mumbled ta her muthafuckin ass, "Omigod."

/End Crap Fic.

AN/ Oh yeah, if you wanna peep tha original gangsta content dis chick had planned fo' dis chapter, I accessed it all up in tha document manager thangy, which I copied n' pasted, so you can read it here:

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh n' form now on il be up in vocation up in englind until lik august so I aint gonna be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111

I raised up in da Norsez offace on a special gothik coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Hairgrid wuz up in da bed opposite me up in a cold-ass lil comma coz Vampir n' Draco had bet his ass up. Mista Muthafuckin Noris was cleanin tha room.

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly Volxemort came yo. Dude loked less mean then usual.

"Git tha fuk up u fuckin bastard!11" I yielded.

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd arngrily. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sudenly da perved-out muthafucka started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.

"Volxemort, biatch? OMFG whatz wrong!111" I asked.

Sudenly…. Lucian, Profesor Sinista n' Serious came biaaatch! B'lody Mary n' Vampire was wif dem. Every1 was holdin blak boxez. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Enoby ur kickin it!111" Scremed Vampire. I hugged his ass n' B'lody Mary.

"What tha fuk happened?" I axed dem. "Oh mah satan!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped.

"Enoby u was almost shot!11" holla'd Serious. "But da ballet could not bust a cap up in u since u was form anodder time."

"But fangz anyway!1" holla'd Lucian holdin oot his thugged-out arm. I gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude had two arms!

"OMG I cant beleve Vampirz' daddy blasted u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be real Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den." holla'd James.

"Yah da thug wuz a spy." Serious holla'd sadly. "Dude wuz straight-up a Dirtnap Dealer."

"And da thug wuz such a gangbangin' fukin poser 2!11" holla'd Lucian. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Dude didn't even realy no hu GC was until I holla'd at his muthafuckin ass." Well anyway mah playas tarted 2 give me presents, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I was openin a funky-ass blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a thugged-out dvd of corps bride up in it) on it when I gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Mista Muthafuckin Noris looked up angrily coz dat schmoooove muthafucka h8ed gothz.

"Yo haz aneone fukin peeped Draco?" I axed gothikally.

"No Draco holla'd at mah crazy ass da thug wood be watchin Hoez of Wax." holla'd Profesor Trevolry. "Dude duzzn't know dat ur mo' betta n' shiznit fo' realz. Anyway da norse holla'd u could git up. Cum on!1"

I gots up suicidally. Lucian, Serious n' Profesor Sinista left. I wuz bustin a funky-ass blak leather nightgun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Under dat I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, wit a matchin thong dat holla'd goffik gurl on tha booty n' dirty fishnetz dat kind hooked on 2 mah thong (if u don't git da scam massage me ill tell u). I put on a funky-ass blak fishnet top under a funky-ass blak MCR t-shirt, a funky-ass blak leather mini wit blak lace n' congress shoes. I left tha hospitizzlez wings wif B'lody Mary, Willow n' Vampire.

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Willow.

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1" giggled Vampire.

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC n' kut ourselvz 666!11" holla'd Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily fo' realz. And den…..I gasped… Draco wuz there bustin it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111 Dude wuz bustin a funky-ass blak tshirt wif 666 on da front n' baggy jeanz.

"U fuckin prep!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" blasted Vampire angrily as tha pimpin' muthafucka took up his blak gun.

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Draco sadly as tha pimpin' muthafucka took his cold-ass thangie outta Snake's.

"No shiznit u fukin suk u preppy bastard!111" holla'd Willow tryin 2 attak his ass (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally ta mah room I sexily took a steak out.

"Enoby no!11111" screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfin went blak again.

Sincerely,

An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Id entity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P

A.K.A. Just a troll wit rocks fo' domes.

Chapter 40. LOL! Someone has taken mah account over!

THE IDIOT'S NOTE: Well... dis was up in tha doc area... might as well let tha whole ghetto peep what tha fuck tha real Tara wanted ta show us.. yo. Have a sick day!

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh n' form now on il be up in vocation up in englind until lik august so I aint gonna be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111

I raised up in da Norsez offace on a special gothik coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Hairgrid wuz up in da bed opposite me up in a cold-ass lil comma coz Vampir n' Draco had bet his ass up. Mista Muthafuckin Noris was cleanin tha room.

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly Volxemort came yo. Dude loked less mean then usual.

"Git tha fuk up u fuckin bastard!11" I yielded.

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd arngrily. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sudenly da perved-out muthafucka started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.

"Volxemort, biatch? OMFG whatz wrong!111" I asked.

Sudenly…. Lucian, Profesor Sinista n' Serious came biaaatch! B'lody Mary n' Vampire was wif dem. Every1 was holdin blak boxez. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Enoby ur kickin it!111" Scremed Vampire. I hugged his ass n' B'lody Mary.

"What tha fuk happened?" I axed dem. "Oh mah satan!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped.

"Enoby u was almost shot!11" holla'd Serious. "But da ballet could not bust a cap up in u since u was form anodder time."

"But fangz anyway!1" holla'd Lucian holdin oot his thugged-out arm. I gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude had two arms!

"OMG I cant beleve Vampirz' daddy blasted u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be real Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den." holla'd James.

"Yah da thug wuz a spy." Serious holla'd sadly. "Dude wuz straight-up a Dirtnap Dealer."

"And da thug wuz such a gangbangin' fukin poser 2!11" holla'd Lucian. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Dude didn't even realy no hu GC was until I holla'd at his muthafuckin ass." Well anyway mah playas tarted 2 give me presents, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I was openin a funky-ass blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a thugged-out dvd of corps bride up in it) on it when I gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Mista Muthafuckin Noris looked up angrily coz dat schmoooove muthafucka h8ed gothz.

"Yo haz aneone fukin peeped Draco?" I axed gothikally.

"No Draco holla'd at mah crazy ass da thug wood be watchin Hoez of Wax." holla'd Profesor Trevolry. "Dude duzzn't know dat ur mo' betta n' shiznit fo' realz. Anyway da norse holla'd u could git up. Cum on!1"

I gots up suicidally. Lucian, Serious n' Profesor Sinista left. I wuz bustin a funky-ass blak leather nightgun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Under dat I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, wit a matchin thong dat holla'd goffik gurl on tha booty n' dirty fishnetz dat kind hooked on 2 mah thong (if u don't git da scam massage me ill tell u). I put on a funky-ass blak fishnet top under a funky-ass blak MCR t-shirt, a funky-ass blak leather mini wit blak lace n' congress shoes. I left tha hospitizzlez wings wif B'lody Mary, Willow n' Vampire.

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Willow.

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1" giggled Vampire.

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC n' kut ourselvz 666!11" holla'd Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily fo' realz. And den…..I gasped… Draco wuz there bustin it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111 Dude wuz bustin a funky-ass blak tshirt wif 666 on da front n' baggy jeanz.

"U fuckin prep!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" blasted Vampire angrily as tha pimpin' muthafucka took up his blak gun.

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Draco sadly as tha pimpin' muthafucka took his cold-ass thangie outta Snake's.

"No shiznit u fukin suk u preppy bastard!111" holla'd Willow tryin 2 attak his ass (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally ta mah room I sexily took a steak out.

"Enoby no!11111" screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfin went blak again.

Idiotz Note: Ugh... I know... shitty... but then again, dis wouldn't be called tha 'worst fanfic eva if not fo' tha fact dat tha freestylin standardz meets tha level of a thugged-out dizzle oldschool fetus...

Chapter 41.

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flamin diz GIT S LIF! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz n' pozers!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount up in November n' dey put up mah last chaptah but now der be a freshly smoked up 1. im surry 4 nut updatin while but ive been rilly bizzy. im tryin 2 finish da rap b4 da freshly smoked up porno kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I aint gonna be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so bangin' up in all da pix 4 da freshly smoked up porno!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol dat schmoooove muthafucka hsud play drako. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11 raven u rok gurl hav funk up in ingland.

When I wook up I wuz up in a strange room. I loked round I wuz bustin da same tracksuit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!11 I looked arund confusedly. Well shiiiit, it wuz da Norsez crib but it looked difrent son! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!1111 (just imagin dat he be a 80s goffik crew 2 aiiight koz he is mo' oldschool den panic, biatch? at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatlez calander wit a picture of tha beetlez werrin iyeliner n' blak cloves. On it holla'd '1980.'

"OMFG! Im back up in Slim Tim again!111" I screamed loudly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly Satan(dis is straight-up voldimort 4 photo refrenss!). Voldimort wuz bustin a funky-ass blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans n' fishnet pantz yo. Dude looked so sexah I almost had a orgy!11

"OMFG Enoby r u ok." Dude axed gothikally.

"Yah Im aiiight 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily. "OMG is I dedd?" koz I remembered I had jumped up in front off da cap from Jamez gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I also rememberd cin Drako bustin it wif Snap!111

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak up in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward up in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.

"No ur not dead as fuckin fried chicken." Satan reassured suicidally as da perved-out muthafucka smokd a cold-ass lil blunt sexily n' smoke came all over his wild lil' face. "Ur a vampire so u kant take a thugged-out dirtnap frum a funky-ass bullet. Cum on now lets go c how tha fuck Hairyz daddy is bustin."

I noo dat da real reason I didn't take a thugged-out dirtnap from da ballet was koz I was from da future. "WTF! Jizzy almust blasted Luciious!" I holla'd indigoally. I knew dat Jizzy had straight-up ben possezzed yo, but I didn't want him2 know I knew.

"Yah I know but dat schmoooove muthafucka had a headache da thug wz under a shitload of stress." Satan reasoned evilly.

"I guess thatz ok." I holla'd cuz Jizzy hadn't straight-up blasted Lucian. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Also I noo dat Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I strutted seduktivly outside wit Satan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddeni I saw a straight-up sexi goffik bi guy!11 Dude had bleched blond afro wiv blak streaks up 2 his wild lil' fuckin ears n' da thug wuz bustin goffik blak iliner, a funky-ass blak Chronic Dizzle hoodie (it flossed billy joel wiv bolnd afro since dat shiznit was da eighties), blak congress Nikes n' black baggy pants yo. Dude strutted up in all sexly like Gerrd way up in tha vido fo' I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterdizzle n' you cud peep a funky-ass blak tear on his wild lil' grill lyk da wmn up in dat vizzle. "Hey." Dude sed all qwietly n' goffically.

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck da fuck is that?" I axed angrly cos I did nut kno his muthafuckin ass.

"Dis is…Hedwig!11" Sed Volximort. "Dude used ta be up in XBlackXTearX 2 but dat schmoooove muthafucka had 2 dropp up koz his thugged-out lil' punk-ass broke his thugged-out arm.

"Yo Hedwig." I holla'd seductively evn tho I wuz nut trin ta b.

"Lol hi Enoby." Dude answered but then he ran away bcos dat schmoooove muthafucka had afro of magical creature yo. Dude was hummin Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat aint 80s but pretend it is ok!)

"Bye." I sed all sexily.

"Dat was Hedwig yo. Dude used 2 b mah boifreind but we broke up." Satan holla'd sadly, lukin at his blak nails.

"OMFG I can git u bak 2gether!" I holla'd fingerin suttin' I didn't give a fuck wuz up in mah pocket- a funky-ass blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod dat I could take vizzlez wif (duz ne1 elze no bout dem, biatch? dey kik azz!).

"Ok u can 4get bout ur class fo' now, Hedwig. Im goin 2 show u suttin' grate!1" I hustled dem ta da Great Hall. "Cum on u hoes."

Lucian, James, Serious n' Snake was all up in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt rap wiv Jizzy cuz dat schmoooove muthafucka had tried 2 blast his muthafuckin ass.

"Go fuk urself you fukkin douche!" da perved-out muthafucka shouted at his muthafuckin ass. "Drako is never gong 2 b frendz wit vampire now!1"

"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Snape agreed but I noo da thug wuz lyin koz it had been his wild lil' folt Jizzy had almost blasted Lucian.

"B on tha down-low u hoes." I holla'd sexily. Mi plan waz hustlin oot pimped out. Now I kood make Voldement phat wivout bustin it wit him! Now Vampirez daddy wood never take a thugged-out dirtnap n' "OK Satan n' Hedwig, u pimps can start makin out." I holla'd n' I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.

"Kool." holla'd Serious as Voldemort n' Hedwig started 2 make up sexily. Us thugs peeped it as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Samaro, Serious, Snake n' Lucian all peeped koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.

"Oh mah fukkin god hommie biaaatch! Voldimort son! Voldimort!" screamed Hedwig as his wild lil' freakadelic glock touched Voldemort's.

But suddenly every last muthafuckin thang stopped as da door opend n' up in kame…Dumblydore n' Mista Muthafuckin Norris!111111111111

Chapter 42. da blak parade

AN: aww shiiiit dawg da freshly smoked up book iz kummin up rlly soon I kant wait!1111. I fink dat snap is ghon be straight-up tha same thug as Volximort koz dey is both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore n' dat schmoooove muthafucka hated hairy!1111 nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicizzle so voldimort will take a thugged-out dirtnap koz da thug will rilly be a horcrox!111 aww shiiiit dawg I hope draco nd harry git 2getha dat is ghon be all kindsa shmexxy, aint gonna it, biatch? If dey don't den JKR is hamophobic!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!111

I sat pissed offly up in Dumbledorkz crib wiv Hedwig, Satan, James, Serious, Snap n' Lucian. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dumbledore was chillin up in front of our asses wackly yo. Dude looked mo' lil' den da ruffneck did up in da future yo. Dude had taken da ipod away n' wuz now lizzenin 2 a shitty Avril Levine song.

"What da hell is dis anyway?" his schmoooove ass cackled meanly. I hoped da ruffneck didn't smoke up dat I was frum another time.

"Whatever u do don't blame Ibony, u jerk." Satan holla'd.

"Yah, siriusly dat biiiiatch was tryin ta git Satan n' Hedwig back together." Serious holla'd deviantly.

"Be on tha down-low you Satanists." Dumbledore cockled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "If ur dirty I be bout ta probably bust u all ta Akazaban! That will teach u ta copolate up in da Great Hall." Dude chizzled tha cold lil' woo wop on da ipod 2 a n'Sync song. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly I noticed sumfin phat bout da Ipod. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dat shiznit was slowly chonging! Dumblydore didn't notece.

"Yo ass fuckin poser." I muttoned.

"I bet you've never herd of GC." Jizzy holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Know I knew waht da iPood was chongin in2- Morti McFlyz tim machine!11

"Shut up Jomes!" Drakoz daddy shouted.

"Yeah shut tha fuck up!" Snake holla'd preppily.

"No u shut tha fuck up Dumblydore!1111" holla'd Tom.

"I've had enough of u Satanists up in mah school!" shouted Dumbledore spuriously.

Suddenly I grabed da iPood from his muthafuckin ass. "Evry1! Jump up in b4 itz 2 l8! I jumped in2 dat shit. But only 1 odder thug jumpd in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it was…..Satan.

"Yo ass dunderheads!1111111111" screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.

I looked around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I wuz up in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Satan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I was bustin a funky-ass blak plaid miniskirt wit bangin' pink fishnetz, a thugged-out dirty blak MCR corset n' blak stiletto boots wit pink pentagroms on dem. My fuckin earrings was blake Satanist sins n' mah raven afro was all round mah crazy ass ta mah mid-black.

"Yo kool where iz dis?" he axed up in a emo voice.

"Dis is da future. Dumbeldorez iPood dat tha pimpin' muthafucka tried ta take away from me wuz straight-up also a tim machine." I holla'd at his muthafuckin ass.

"Kool whatz a ipatch?" da thug whimpered.

"It aint nuthin but somefin u use 2 lizzen 2 music." I yakked.

"OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?" he esked up in his sexah voice.

"Um I guezz sand?" I laid confuesdly.

"Yah I wuz just triinyg ta make shizzle u was stil da same perzon." Dude triumphently giggled.

Suddenly a shitload of mah playaz strutted in.

"OMG yo ass is fuckin kickin it!" holla'd Ginny bustin a funky-ass blak leather jocket, blak baggy baggy-ass pants n' a goffik black Frum First ta Last shirt. I explained 2 her why I was kickin it.

"Konichiwa, biiiatch." holla'd Willow. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was bustin a funky-ass blak corset showin off her tittizzles wit lace all round it n' red stipes on dat shit. With it dat biiiiatch waz bustin a funky-ass blak leather miniskirt, big-ass blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, n' blak lipstick.

"Yo, motherfucker." Said Diabolo wit his bangin red afro yo. Dude waz bustin a funky-ass black P?ATD t-shiznit n' blak baggy pants.

"Yo whose that, Ibony?" B'loody Mary dissed as dat biiiiatch strutted up in bustin a funky-ass black t-shiznit wit a red pentarom on it wit lace all up in tha bottom, red letther baggy-ass pants wit blak lace, n' black stolettoes.

"Oh its Satan." I holla'd at her n' she nodded knowin da truth.

Suddenly Satan started ta cry like a muthafucka.

"Is you aiiight Satan?" we axed concernedly.

"OMFG ur from da future!1! What if u don't like m no mo' koz was from difrent times?" he asked.

"No I still like yo thugged-out ass." I holla'd sexily ta his muthafuckin ass.

"Ok." Dude holla'd ressuredly. I let his ass lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on mah ipod while I was bout ta go outside ta smoke up some fingz. I gave Diabolo a signal ta keep Satan occupied. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Satan fell tha fuck asleep. I took tha iPood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I was bout ta strutt outside. Profesor Sinista ran in!1111 Biatch was bustin a gothic blak minidress wit wack blak stripes, white n' blak stripped tights, n' red converse shoes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was bustin LOTS of blak iliner.

"Oh mah fuckin god, wherez Draco!111 How tha fuck did Snap git back here biaaatch! I tohot da thug wuz up in Azerbaijan." I axed sadly.

"Ebony I was so worried abott u but I know you can't fuckin take a thugged-out dirtnap cuz yo ass be a vrompire. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snape came back cuz dat hoe Britney freed his muthafuckin ass. I never was horny bout her dat biiiiatch was a wack hustla." Trevolry holla'd reassuredly.

"That biiiatch!11 Did she also free Hargrid n' Loopin?" I shouted angrily. I hated Britney cuz dat biiiiatch was a gangbangin' fuckin prep.

"Yes yes y'all, they is on tha loose at dis school. Dumblydore is back Cornelia is on his way ta help evry1. Tell evry1 u peep ta lock theyselves up in they conman room!" Trevolry holla'd worriedly.

"OK. But wherez Dracko, biatch? How tha fuck cum da thug was bustin it wit Snap?"

"I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicizzle afta da perved-out muthafucka saw u almost bust a cap up in urself." her big-ass booty holla'd.

"OMG datz shitty!" I gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Satan was still asleep, so his schmoooove ass couldn't tell what tha fuck was goin on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then I holla'd "Lizzen evry1, I have sumthang imptent ta do. up in hr evry1 stay!" wiv dat I ran out.

"Dope luck Tara!11" mah playas cried.

I ran sexily down tha staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits round looked all up in mah grill scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else up in tha stairs nd tere was a atmosphere of horrer n' shit. On da way I saw Britney bustin up on da stairs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was bustin a a supa-hoty pink hoodie wiv flowers on it, a funky-ass blu jean skirt Abercromie n' pink stiletoos. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looked jest like a pentagram of dem fuckin preps Hilery Duff n' Lindsey Lohan.

"Yo ass fuckin biiiatch!111" I shouted angrily.

"Fuck dat shit, yo' straight-up a funky-ass biiiatch. Now Voldemort will like straight-up bust a cap up in u!" she laughed.

"Crucious!1" I shouted selectively pontificatin mah blak wand n' her big-ass booty started beatboxin koz dat biiiiatch was bein tortured n' I laughed sodistically.

"No!1 Help me!1 Please!1" Britney screamed terrifiedly.

I put up mah middle finger at her n' shit. In her hand I saw da vizzle camera Snape n' Lumpin had used ta take da vizzle of mah dirty ass. I put tha tape of Voldimort bustin it wit Hedwigg onto dat shit. Then I continued ta rown down tha stairs wit tha camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Potter n' shit. "OMG Vampira!111" I yielded.

Our thugged-out asses hugged each udder happily yo. Dude locked all up in mah grill wif his wild lil' freakadelic gothic red eyes n' spiky blak afro fo' realz. Around dem was blak eyeliner n' iShadow yo. His Dude wus bustin a funky-ass blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko gangbang hoodie n' his blak congress shoes yo. Dude looked mor like Joel from Dope Charlote than eva n' shit. (did u hear der cold lil' woo wop da river it rox!1)"I wus so worried you died!" moaned Vampire.

"I know but Im a vampire lol. When I raised up I wuz back up in 1980, so neway I looted Voldimort from when da thug was yung wit mah dirty ass."

"Wherez Draco?" I axed spuriously.

"Draco, biatch? Yo ass mean dat fukkin poser whoz ass betroyed yo slick ass?" Vampir snarkled wit anger up in his fuckin lil' dirty voice.

"I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM." I SED SMARTY.

"I be bout ta do it den." Harry holla'd angstily.

"OK." I argreed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly….all da lights up in da room went up fo' realz. And den….da Dork Mark rocked up.

"Oh mah fuckin satan!" Harry shouted.

"I fink Voldimort has arrivd." I sed anxiously. "Fuck, I gotta find Draco!1 I guess we shood separate."

"Ok." Vampire sed diapperating. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sadly I ran tha fuck into tha Great Hall.

Chapter 43.

AN: I fink afta dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis rap den u suk!111111 if u flam den fukk u!111

I strutted sexily tha fuck into tha Great Hall. Dat shiznit was empty except fo' one person. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Draco was there biaaatch! Dude sat der up in deddly bloom up in his blak 666 t-shirt n' his baggy blak pants yo. Dude had slit his wrists!111 I felt mad at his ass fo' bustin a nutwith Snape but I felt sorry fo' his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude looked just like Gerard Way wit his bangin red eyes n' his thugged-out lil' pale white face.

"Draco is you aiiight?" I asked.

"I aint aiiight." da perved-out muthafucka screamed pissed offly.. n' you KNOWS of tha MCR cold lil' woo wop nd I gots even mo' pissed off koz dat cold lil' woo wop always make me cry like a muthafucka. I gave his ass a pot blunt n' da perved-out muthafucka started ta smoke dat shit.

"Oh Draco why did you do it wit dat fuckin bastard Snape?" I axed teardully.

"I-" Draco fuckin started ta say but suddenly Lupin n' Mista Muthafuckin Norris appearated in2 da room! They didn't peep us.

"Im so glad we me n' Snape was freed." holla'd Loopin.

"Dam, dis thang would be pimped out if it wasn't 4 da fukkin hustlas!" Mista Muthafuckin Norris argreed.

"Pop addelum!111" I yielded angrily pointin mah wand at em.

"Noooooooo!1" Lupin shouted as chains came on his muthafuckin ass. Mista Muthafuckin Norris ran away.

"Yo ass fukkin perv." I holla'd bustin up wiv depthz of evil n' pissed offnizz up in mah voice. "Now u have 2 tell our asses where Voldimort is or I be gong 2 torture u!"

"I don't now where he is!1111" holla'd Loopin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly Satan n' Vampire ran in2 da room. Vampir didn't give a fuck whoz ass Satan was straight-up.

"Oh mah satan, we was so worried bout u guys!1" Vampire holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I looked sexily at Draco wit his wild lil' freakadelic goffik red eyes wit contacts, blak t-shirt dat holla'd 666 on it n' pale skin like Gerord Way, Vampir wit his fuckin lil' dirty blak afro n' red eyes just like Frank Iero n' Satan whoz ass looked jist like Brandan Urie then.

I selectively took tha caramel from mah pocket fo' realz. And then….. I fuckin started frenchin Draco sexily. Loopin gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Draco fuckin started ta take all of his cloves off n' I could peep his white sex-pack. Then Vampire took his own clotes off like a muthafucka. We all fuckin started makin up 2gther sexily. I took off mah blak leather bra, mah blak lace thong n' tha rest of mah clothes. Every1 took they glocks up except 4 me im a hoe lol. "Oh mi satan! Draco!" I screamed as he put his hardnizz up in mah thangy Den da ruffneck did da same fin ta Harry. I fuckin started makin up wiv Satan n' he joined in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "OMS!111" cried Vampire. "Oh Vampire biaaatch! Vampire!" I screamed screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Oh Satan!" yelled Harry up in pleasore. Loopin peeped up in shock. Wee took turns bustin torture curses on his ass koz we was all sadists, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly…..

….a big-ass blak hoopty dat holla'd 666 on tha license plate flew strait all up in da windows fo' realz. And Snap wuz up in it!11

Chapter 44.

AN: well I hav noffin 2 say but evrt1 stup glammin ok!111 if any gofik ppl r readin dis den u rok!11 aww shiiiit dawg I stil kant wait 4 da porno!1 tom fleton is so bangin' lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik koz mi frend holla'd at mah crazy ass he iz rlly emo up in dis book!1111 omfg im leevin dubya pretty soon kant wait son! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.

"Datz mi car!" blasted Draco angrily. But suddenly dat shiznit was revealied whoz ass was up in da car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Well shiiiit, it wuz….Snape!

"I shall free you Loopin but first you must help me bust a cap up in these idiotic donderheads." da perved-out muthafucka holla'd wackly from tha hoopty as it flew circumamcizin above us. "Ebony Dark'nizz Dementia Raven Way must be capped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Den tha Dork Lord shall never die!"

"Yo ass fuckin prep!" yelled Draco. Then he loked all up in mah grill sadly. "I forgot ta tell u, Ebony. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snape made me do it wit his muthafuckin ass. I didn't straight-up bust a nutx his ass but he a ropeist!"

We all put our threadz on quickly except Satan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Us thugs was so scarred!1 But Satan didn't chizzle. Instead his schmoooove ass chizzled tha fuck into a playa wit gren eyes, no nose, a gray robe n' white skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude had chizzled into… Voldemont!111

"I knew whoz ass thou was all along." his schmoooove ass cackled evilly n' sarcastically all up in mah face. "Now I shall bust a cap up in thee all!" Thunder came up in da room.

"No plz don't bust a cap up in us!" pleaded Vampire. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly Willow, B'loody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Drocula, Fred n' Gorge, Hargrid, McGonagall, Dumblydore, Serious n' Lucian all ran in.

"What tha fuck iz da meanin of dis?" Dumblydore axed all angrily n' Voldimort lookd away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of.) Dude did a spell n' suddenly his broomstick came ta his ass sexily. Volxemort flew above tha roof evilly on his broomstik.

"Oh mah goth!" Slugborn gosped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (geddit kos im goffik)

"Da Dark Lord shall bust a cap up in all of yo thugged-out ass. Then you must submit ta him!" Snape ejaculated menacingly.

"Yo ass fuckin preppy fags!" Serious shouted angrily.

"I know a gangbangin' four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!" screamed Harry but da sparks from his wand only hit Dracoz car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Well shiiiit, it fell tha fuck down Snap quickly crowled outta it n' picked up tha cideo camera.

"Oh mah fuckin god!1" I cried becoze tha vizzle of me up in da bathrum, tha vizzle of me dong it wif Drako n' tha vizzle of Satan bustin it with

"If you bust a cap up in me then deze cideos is ghon be shown ta mah playas up in tha skull. Then u can be just like dat goffik hoe Paris Hillton." Dude laughed meanly.

"No!" I scremed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "FYI I hav da picter of u bustin it wit Loopin!11"

"Whats dat dunkadelic hoe rappin' abott?" Lupin slurped as da perved-out muthafucka sat up in chains.

"I saw 2 she gunna show evry1 da picter!111" Harry shouted angrily.

"Shut up!111'" Lumpkin roared.

"Foolish ignoramuses!" yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. "Thou shall all dye soon."

"Think again n' again n' again you fuckin muggle poser!1" Harry yelled n' then he n' Diablo n' Navel both took up blak guns muthafucka! But Voldimort took up his own one.

"U guyz is up in a Latin stand-of!111" I shouted despariedrly.

"Acco Nevelz wand!11" cried Voldrimort nd suddenly Nevilz wind was up in his hands. "Now I shall bust a cap up in thee all n' Evony u will die!11111"

Dude maid lightin come all over da place.

"Save our asses Ebony!" Dumbledark cried.

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 tha commen room n' slit mah wrists wit mi playaz while we peeped Shark Attak 3 n' Saw 2 n' do it wit Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefin mo' impotent.

"ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I blasted.