My Immortal - Redux Chapter 9: Chapters 33-36, a harry potter fanfic

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flamin sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11

DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL

Vampire n' I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor.

"Oh mi fuckin satan!11" Enoby holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch wuz so hot. "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll up in ludd wif me faster!1"

"But u r so dirty n' straight-up dope aneway Tata," holla'd Vampire. "Why would u need it?"

"To make everyfin go fasta lol." holla'd Enoby.

"But you aint gonna gotta do it wif his ass or anyfing, will u?" I axed jelosly.

"OMFG u guyz r so freaky!11" holla'd Britney, a gangbangin' fuckin prep.

"Shut tha fuk up!1" holla'd Willow.

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolryz room."

Draco, Ebory n' I went ta Profesor Siniaterz room. But Profesor Sinista wasn't there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Instead Tomothy Rid was.

Oh hi fuckers da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Lizzen, I gots u sum kewl freshly smoked up clovez.

I took up da cloves from da bag. Dat shiznit was a goffik blak leather miniskirt dat holla'd '666' on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz n' a funky-ass blak corset.

"OMG fangz!" I holla'd huggin his ass up in a gothic way. I took da threadz up in da bag.

"OK Profesor Sinista isnt hr what tha fuck tha fuk should our phat asses do?" axed Draco. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

"Oh mah fukin satan!1" I screamed as I read dat shit. On it holla'd Evry1 Profesor Sinista be away. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is too gottik her ass is up in Azkhabian now, nahmeean, biatch? Classes shal be taught by Dubledork whoz ass is bak but da perved-out muthafucka shall not be principal 4 now, nahmeean, biatch? Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How tha fuck could they do that!11"

Suddenly Dumblydore came.

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" his thugged-out lil' punk-ass fuckin started ta blast angrily. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcflyz blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leavin Draco n' Vampire. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sudenly I wuz back up in tim!11 I looked around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it was…Profesor Slutbornz efface biaaatch! I sneaked around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his fuckin lil' desk. Well shiiiit, it wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz up in dat shit. Dat shiznit was tha shape of a cold-ass lil cross. I put it up in mah poket. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly da door opened it wuz…..Profesor Slutgorn!11

OMG wut r u bustin fuker da perved-out muthafucka blasted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

"Oh sorry I wuz just lookin round koz I thought it wuz class." you holla'd finally hopin his schmoooove ass couldn't c da potion up in ur pocket.

"Oh aiiight u can go now, nahmeean?" holla'd Profesor Slutborn.

Yo ass went ta tha conmen room afta puttin on mah clothes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Silas, Samaro n' Snap was there practicin Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.

"Oh hi you hoes." I holla'd seductively. "Wheres Satan?"

"Oh his schmoooove ass cumming." holla'd Serious. "BTW u can kall me Hades now, nahmeean?" Suddenly Satan came yo. Dude was bustin a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt n' a funky-ass blak tie.

"Ok I'ma peep you guyz at da concert." I holla'd n' then I went wit Satan.

Chapter 38.

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory n' den I add sum mo' 2 it afta vocation, biatch? oh yah asnd prepz stup flamin if u dnot lik dat rap den take muh quiz aiiight den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111

Satan n' I strutted 2 his car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Well shiiiit, it wuz a funky-ass blak hoopty wif pentagrams all over dat shit. On da license plate holla'd 666 just lik Dracoz car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I went up in it seduktivly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stan started 2 drive dat shit. We talked bout Satanizzle (lolz da thug wuz named afta Satan), kuttting, musik n' bein goffik.

"Oh mah satan, Gerard is so fukin hot!11" Volxemort agreed as we smoked sum weed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (koz bi guyz r bangin' dey r so sensitizzle I luv dem lol goez fux a funky-ass bi guy)

"Lol, I straight-up decided not 2 comit suicizzle when I herd Hilena." I holla'd up in a gangbangin' flirty voice. "….Yo Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Volxemortseruem?"

"Well…" tha pimpin' muthafucka thought. "I fink u have 2 drank Vampire blod."

Suddenly Volxemort parked da hoopty behind a funky-ass blak porno theater n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan n' I strutted outside. Us thugs went in2 da porno tether was they was showin da Excercist. In it a funky-ass pimp n' a gurl was bustin it sudenly a cold-ass lil cereal killa came lol. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan n' I laughed at da blood koz we sadists.

While Satan was watchin da porno, I had a idea. I took Satanz gothic blak Nightmare b4 Chrizzle cigar sexily from his thugged-out lil' poket n' put sum Amnesia potion up in dat shit. I put it bak up in his blak Emile tha Strange bag. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan turned arund n' started 2 smoke dat shit. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly round all over dis biiiatch.

"OMG!111" Satan holla'd jumpin up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Enoby gess what?"

I freshly smoked up dat tha amnesia had worked.

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it aint gonna work." Dude holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u."

"Kul." I raised mah eye suggestingly fo' realz. And den…. tha pimpin' muthafucka tok of mah cloves sexily n' we started 2 make out. I tok of his shiznit yo. Dude had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched.

"Xcuze me but u r goin 2 have 2 leave!111" blasted da lady behind our asses dat biiiiatch was a prep.

"Fuk u!11" I holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly…. I attaked her sukin all her blood.

"Noooooo!11" her big-ass booty screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! All tha preps up in da theater screamed but any suckas crapped koz Satan n' I loked so thugged-out 2gether n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan n' I started ta strutt outside.

"Zaww shiiiit dawg how tha fuck did u do that?" Voldremort axed up in a turned-on voice.

"I be a vampire." I holla'd as we went tha fuck into tha car.

"Siriusly?" he gasped.

"Yah siriusly." I holla'd drankin sum brew n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan started 2 drive da car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I smelled happily.

"Itz too wack our phat asses didn't git 2 c da rest of tha porno, don't u fink?"

"Yah." I holla'd as we kised passively. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Satan parked up in a funky-ass blak driveway next 2 da place where Draco n' I had peeped GC fo' tha frist time. Us thugs went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playin n' started ta mosh lol.

"Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111" screamed Marlin on da stage fo' realz. All our asses dudes id tha devil fingers. I started 2 dizzle straight-up close ta Satan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude was so shmexay!1 Dude looked all up in mah grill all emo wit his wild lil' freakadelic gothic red eyes n' he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost gots a orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped rappin.

"I wood like ta peasant…..XBlakXTearX!11" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I ran onstage. Lucian, Samaro, Snap n' Hades was there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. They started 2 play they instilments, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I gots onstag.

"Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My fuckin voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee n' a gurl version of Gerard Woy. Everyone clappd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Satan gots a eructation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "I'M NUT OKAY!1" I busted finaly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly Lucian started playin da cold lil' woo wop wack by mistak.

"OMFG!1" yielded James. "Wut tha fuck?"

"Woops im sory!" holla'd Lucian.

"Yo ass fukin ashhole!1" Jizzy shouted angrily.

"U pimps is such prepz!11" Snap holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Cum on it wuz a mistake!1"

"Yah itz not his wild lil' fault!11" holla'd Serious.

"No he fucked up tha fuckin song!1" yelled Samaro.

"U pimps stop!11" I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all fuckin started 2 fight. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sudenly Samaro took up hiz nife.

"OMFG no!11" shouted Lucan but it wuz 2 late Jizzy tried 2 blast off his thugged-out arm.

And den…I jumped secxily up in front of da bullet!11

"No!111" yielded mah playas but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfin went blak.

Chapter 39. I Am A Trollin Genious, lolz

Disclaimer: I do not own tha HP series n' I aint tha real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.

AN/ I be a mad immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack dis girlz passy fo' funk (and it took less than 8 minutes ta do it too) n' will probably git up in a shitload of shit. Which I probably deserve 'cause I be bein a troll n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do. Meh.

And I present ta you MY crappy part up in dis story. (And take note I aint even finished readin dis fic yet yo, but instead skip over ta skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, tha Gangsta retail bustin british vampire Sue, coughed up blood.

Satan kneeled down beside mah dirty ass.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave his ass a rueful smile. "I be sorry. It aint nuthin but suttin' I had ta do, ta fufill mah duty as tha noble gothic Mary Sue."

Satan sobbed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I gots a straight-up boner fo' you Ebony."

"I gots a straight-up boner fo' you two. I be bout ta...I be bout ta peep you up in hell." I mumbled, already findin mah surroundings fadin ta black.

B'loody Mary Smizzle suddenly popped tha fuck into tha room fo' no apparent reason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch frowned when she realized tha room was oddly on tha down-low yo, but all up in tha sight of Ebonyz gameless body, her big-ass booty screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Her grill became pale wit horror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch screamed fo' tha healers, Dumbledore, Mcgoogle, n' every last muthafuckin single gothic thug dat thugged-out biiiatch could be thinkin of.

Suddenly, a glow started ta surround tha body of Ebony. Everyone stared up in shock yo. Her body started ta lift eva so slowly n' then, ta everyonez shock, it started ta incinerate.

When mah playas realized what tha fuck was happening, they rushed over ta try ta rescue tha body yo, but dat shiznit was too late, tha Sue became not a god damn thang mo' then a pile of ashes.

A bangin resoundin of mah playas bellowin "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled tha room.

A flash of white light from tha ashes then started ta bounce round tha room. Everyone cowered up in fear n' was temporarily blinded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! When dat shiznit was all over, thangs chizzled.

All tha wack-ass goth threadz dropped from everyonez bodies (AN/I'ma refuse ta explain how tha fuck tha hell dat happened.) and, up in they place, threadz tha charactas would normally wear up in canon rocked up on they bodies.

When mah playas gots over tha shock of becomin free of tha gofick power, dem hoes hollared. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Everyone started rappin 'Din dong tha sue is dead as fuckin fried chicken...' Well, dat is, until all tha HP charactas realized tha legit implicationz of becomin mo' canon like again.

All tha charactas whoz ass was supposed ta be dead fell tha fuck ta tha floor, they bodies cold n' gameless yo. Harry n' Voldemort started dueling. On tha left side of tha two, tha battle of tha Light Side n' tha Dark Side was reachin a cold-ass lil climax.

And, cuz tha replacement lyricist also likes ta screw round wit canon, Draco n' Hermione fled tha scene n' gots married.

Meanwhile...

Down up in hell, Ebony shed a single tear cuz of her current thang fo' realz. A thang dat would live on fo' all eternity. Or at least until tha end of fanfiction time.

Bitch lost it all yo, but she knew dat freaky freaky biatch had ta remain strong. Nothang would eva break her down.

Bitch looked down over her pale body, n' frowned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 'Where is mah emo clothes?' Biatch axed her muthafuckin ass up in mad drama.

And then it occured ta her muthafuckin ass...

For her shirt, dat biiiiatch was bustin a funky-ass bright pink polo wit a lil seagull on tha (right or left, biatch? I can't remember) side. Below that, dat biiiiatch was bustin a thugged-out denim miniskirt wit tha "destroyed" look on dat shit. Paired underneath dat skirt was leggings wit a lil moose all up in tha bottom fo' realz. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, dat biiiiatch was carryin a pimpin' bag wit a eagle on it dat holla'd Live Yo crazy-ass Life freestyled all over tha bag.

Ebony supressed tha urge ta scream yo. Here dat biiiiatch was decked up in threadz prep ta tha off tha hook bustin shiznit from Abercrombie n' Fitch, Gangsta Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Ebony hastily tried ta take off tha Hollista polo yo, but underneath it, there was another Hollista polo underneath. Ebony frowned, n' looked under her shirt fo' realz. All her big-ass booty saw was a funky-ass bra underneath (dare I point up itz from tha Aerie line available at Gangsta Eagle?). Ebony tried ta remove tha hoodie again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But ta her frustration, there was yet again n' again n' again another polo ta replace dat shit.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Ebony bellowed up ta tha air. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch failed ta peep tha irony up in her statement, how tha fuck hypocrytical her lyrics were, seein as dat biiiiatch was practically callin tha kettle black here.

Ebony slit her writs n' mumbled ta her muthafuckin ass, "Omigod."

/End Crap Fic.

AN/ Oh yeah, if you wanna peep tha original gangsta content dis chick had planned fo' dis chapter, I accessed it all up in tha document manager thangy, which I copied n' pasted, so you can read it here:

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh n' form now on il be up in vocation up in englind until lik august so I aint gonna be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111

I raised up in da Norsez offace on a special gothik coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Hairgrid wuz up in da bed opposite me up in a cold-ass lil comma coz Vampir n' Draco had bet his ass up. Mista Muthafuckin Noris was cleanin tha room.

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly Volxemort came yo. Dude loked less mean then usual.

"Git tha fuk up u fuckin bastard!11" I yielded.

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11" da perved-out muthafucka holla'd arngrily. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sudenly da perved-out muthafucka started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.

"Volxemort, biatch? OMFG whatz wrong!111" I asked.

Sudenly…. Lucian, Profesor Sinista n' Serious came biaaatch! B'lody Mary n' Vampire was wif dem. Every1 was holdin blak boxez. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Enoby ur kickin it!111" Scremed Vampire. I hugged his ass n' B'lody Mary.

"What tha fuk happened?" I axed dem. "Oh mah satan!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped.

"Enoby u was almost shot!11" holla'd Serious. "But da ballet could not bust a cap up in u since u was form anodder time."

"But fangz anyway!1" holla'd Lucian holdin oot his thugged-out arm. I gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude had two arms!

"OMG I cant beleve Vampirz' daddy blasted u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be real Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den." holla'd James.

"Yah da thug wuz a spy." Serious holla'd sadly. "Dude wuz straight-up a Dirtnap Dealer."

"And da thug wuz such a gangbangin' fukin poser 2!11" holla'd Lucian. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Dude didn't even realy no hu GC was until I holla'd at his muthafuckin ass." Well anyway mah playas tarted 2 give me presents, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I was openin a funky-ass blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a thugged-out dvd of corps bride up in it) on it when I gasped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Mista Muthafuckin Noris looked up angrily coz dat schmoooove muthafucka h8ed gothz.

"Yo haz aneone fukin peeped Draco?" I axed gothikally.

"No Draco holla'd at mah crazy ass da thug wood be watchin Hoez of Wax." holla'd Profesor Trevolry. "Dude duzzn't know dat ur mo' betta n' shiznit fo' realz. Anyway da norse holla'd u could git up. Cum on!1"

I gots up suicidally. Lucian, Serious n' Profesor Sinista left. I wuz bustin a funky-ass blak leather nightgun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Under dat I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, wit a matchin thong dat holla'd goffik gurl on tha booty n' dirty fishnetz dat kind hooked on 2 mah thong (if u don't git da scam massage me ill tell u). I put on a funky-ass blak fishnet top under a funky-ass blak MCR t-shirt, a funky-ass blak leather mini wit blak lace n' congress shoes. I left tha hospitizzlez wings wif B'lody Mary, Willow n' Vampire.

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Willow.

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1" giggled Vampire.

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC n' kut ourselvz 666!11" holla'd Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily fo' realz. And den…..I gasped… Draco wuz there bustin it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111 Dude wuz bustin a funky-ass blak tshirt wif 666 on da front n' baggy jeanz.

"U fuckin prep!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" blasted Vampire angrily as tha pimpin' muthafucka took up his blak gun.

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Draco sadly as tha pimpin' muthafucka took his cold-ass thangie outta Snake's.

"No shiznit u fukin suk u preppy bastard!111" holla'd Willow tryin 2 attak his ass (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally ta mah room I sexily took a steak out.

"Enoby no!11111" screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfin went blak again.

Sincerely,

An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Id entity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P

A.K.A. Just a troll wit rocks fo' domes.

Chapter 40. LOL! Someone has taken mah account over!

THE IDIOT'S NOTE: Well... dis was up in tha doc area... might as well let tha whole ghetto peep what tha fuck tha real Tara wanted ta show us.. yo. Have a sick day!