"Edward?" I called out softly my voice a bit raspy from crying and sleep.
Bella:
I looked around my room, my eyes trying to adjust to the darkness. They landed on the figure sitting in the wooden chair in the far corner of my room to the right of my bed.
"Edward" I breathed his name, knowing it was him. The moonlight from my window cast a perfect glow over him, allowing me to see him, and causing him to almost look like a dream.
He remained silent for a few moments watching me, his chin propped in the palm of his hand as his arm rested on the armrest of the wooden chair.
"Bella…" he finally called my name softly.
I licked my dry lips, my eyes flickering over to clock on my bedside table. It was half past 2a.m. I looked down at my hands playing with a stray loose string on my quilt that lay over my body, before looking back to Edward.
"When did you get here?" I asked quietly.
"A little after 1a.m." he answered back quietly.
"You should have woken me" I told him softly looking away.
"You needed your sleep. It was late" he answered back.
"I thought…you weren't coming, that you had broken your promise" I said softly, my voice small and sad to my own ears. I saw Edward wince slightly at my words, his own expression sad. We both knew that technically he had broken his promise to return to me last night, for it was a new day, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that he was here now.
He remained silent again, this time I could tell it was because he didn't know how to respond. I watched as he stood from the chair, his expression troubled as his eyes seemed to search the darkness of my room for the words he could not find. He ran his hand through his incredibly tousled hair.
Again I took this moment to observe how beautiful and perfect he truly was. His jaw was clenched tight; his forehead creased from whatever was bothering him. I registered that he was speaking again.
"…shouldn't be here. I-" he continued his voice pained.
"Don't…please don't leave" I said cutting him off. I knew what was coming next, if I let him continue.
He quieted again, his eyes returning to my face, seeming to examine it before his expression turned horrified and pained again.
"You were crying" he stated, his voice sounding choked. It wasn't a question, so I didn't need to respond. He took my lack of response as an answer as to why I had been crying. I could only imagine how horrible I must have looked.
"Bella no" he groaned pained. His hand gripped his hair almost painfully as he shook his head, backing away from me.
"Edward, please" I said trying to calm him, moving over and patting the bed next to me, for him to sit down on my small twin-sized bed. He eyed the spot I had patted, and his expression turned so hesitant, I was sure he would refuse.
He surprised me by slowly approaching and carefully taking a seat on my bed, much farther away than I had indicated. His posture was very stiff, his face still drawn into a pained expression. He wasn't looking at me, instead he was looking at his hands, which he kept balling and un-balling, lost in the sea of his own thoughts.
I had to do something. I called his name softly. When he didn't respond or acknowledge that he had heard me I called his name again, louder this time, and moved closer to him, carefully placing my palm against the cold skin of his smooth cheek, urging him to look at me.
Edward:
I should never have come back here…back to her. I knew that. I had tried everything to convince myself to stay away. Tonight I'd hunted, but not the same way I'd hunted for the past near decade. I'd hunted the way Carlisle had tried to convince me I should.
I'd ran fast, and I'd ran far. I had taken down as many deer and elk as I could, trying to drown thoughts of her with the blood of these animals, but how could I do that when the reason I had hunted them in the first place was because of her?
I knew that if I had hunted another human I wouldn't have been able to face her with their blood flowing through my veins. Why was I so afraid of her seeing me for what I really was? Why had it taken her for me to try to change my ways?
I'd finally convinced myself that I wouldn't keep my promise to her and return to her, to do so was wrong and pointless. The more time I spent around her, the harder it would be to leave and forget her. She was human, I was not. She deserved a normal life, I deserved hell. It was as simple as that.
So why had I come watching her sleep, she hadn't look peaceful as she slept. Had I been the reason for that?
When I realized she had been crying it had been too much to bear. She'd been a beacon of light in the darkness I was living in. She was something pure showing me that there was still good in the world and I had made her cry.
I didn't deserve her tears. I didn't deserve any part of her. Would she still feel the same when she realized her tears were for a monster? A murderer?
Why was I doing this to us? Why couldn't I stay away from her? It couldn't end well for either of us and I knew this.
I heard my name fall from her lips, right before I felt her small hand against my cheek. My eyes closed at the warm satin feel of her skin against mine. I knew what she wanted. She wanted me to look at her. I would, but not now. I needed to relish the feel of her touching me like this. For a moment I could pretend our circumstances didn't exist, that I wasn't a monster who would eventually have to disappear from her life and let her move on.
She didn't flinch from the coldness of my skin, instead her tiny fingers caressed my face. I finally looked at her and almost wished I hadn't.
I didn't deserve the openness and trust I saw shining in her warm eyes. I could see so much in her eyes as she looked at me. Would it all one day be replaced with disgust?
I closed my eyes again unable to keep looking at her, it hurt too much. I couldn't help leaning my face into her hand though, turning it slightly to inhale her sweet, slightly floral scent.
God, she smelled so good, so perfect. I never wanted to smell anything else, or feel anything else. I just wanted her. That thought jolted me to my senses.
I wanted her? Impossible, she was something I could never have and fate was oh so cruel by tempting me with her. I slowly moved my face away from her caress. I didn't deserve her touch.
Again I saw the sadness and disappointment in her eyes from my actions.
"You're always so cold" she said softly. I didn't say anything back, I couldn't. I wouldn't lie to her. I would be as honest with her as I was allowed, that was the least I could do.
"I'm sorry" I said softly. Why was I apologizing?
She gave me a small amused smile, her cheeks coloring. She was so beautiful. Did she realize?
"You're eyes look darker tonight…not so red" she spoke again, I could tell she really wanted me to explain, her eyes searched my own waiting. Again her expression was one of openness and warmth, not fear.
"There are things I can't tell you about me Bella, If I am to be near you…please accept this" I pleaded with her softly.
I could tell she wanted to say so much more, but thankfully she nodded her acceptance, her warm eyes watching me with such open curiosity and…fascination?
"Edward, can I see you tomorrow…during the day?" she asked softly, surprising me. She quickly looked way, her cheeks turning the deepest shade of pink. I groaned too softly for her to hear.
Oh how I wished I could tell her yes, that I could be with her properly with her father's permission. I wanted so much, but I couldn't give her or myself any of it.
"That's not possible" I told her honestly, upon seeing the dejection on her face I quickly spoke again without thinking. "But I can come to you at night again". I knew I had done it now, when she looked up at me with such hope and happiness.
"Do you promise…to really come this time?" she asked softly, looking up at me from beneath her lashes with such vulnerability.
"I do" I answered honestly, I wouldn't lie to her again. "What time would you like?"
I watched enraptured as she took her bottom lip between her teeth as she did so often, chewing it as she thought. "10pm, my father should be asleep by then, he has an early shift" she answered me, her voice stronger and more confident.
I gave her a small smile and nodded. "I shall see you then Bella. Sleep and have sweet dreams" I told her getting up from her bed, hearing her heart rate pick up. I tried not to let my amusement show, she wasn't aware that I could hear her body's reactions to me.
She nodded.
"Good night Edward" she told me softly, her voice seeming to caress my name.
I looked back at her once more before jumping from her window and into the night.
I knew it was wrong, but tomorrow night couldn't come fast enough.
A/N: Sorry for the delay in updates, been busy plus pretty tell me what you guys thought Pretty Please Review if you like the story even if it's just one word:)