Chapter Nineteen
"Well, this is a merry little get-together."
As they sat around the table in the downstairs chamber of the inn, Nuriko cast his companions a playful smile, resting his chin in his hands as he gazed around at each of them. "I almost feel like I'm attending a Seishi reunion – you know, we really should do this more often."
"Kinda difficult, when half o' you folks are dead." Tasuki said bluntly, shaking his head. "I ain't digging up any rottin' corpses for anyone, thanks very much – Suzaku only knows what you look like, after two years or more under mountain snow – I think I'll pass."
"You're so mean." Nuriko pouted. "My spirit is beautiful, Tasuki-kun – isn't that what counts?"
"Sure, so long as you don't mind the fact worms are probably eating the rest of you as we speak." Tasuki said frankly.
"Will the two of you stop talking about death and decomposition as if it's the most natural subject in the world?" Hotohori interjected at this, his expression slightly sickly as he glared at them. "We are at the table, and it is not appropriate to discuss the decay of your friends' physical forms in front of them."
"We're not eating." Tasuki objected. "Quit being squeamish – I was only stating a fact."
"This does feel sort of nostalgic, you know." At the banter, Chichiri laughed, casting the bewildered Anzu and the doubtful Aidou an amiable grin. "It's almost a shame that, when we do find Chiriko, it will probably mean times like this are at an end."
"Yeah, I reasoned that out too." Nuriko nodded, his expression becoming serious for a moment. "This is our final fling, isn't it? We're here, but we're not – Hotohori-sama, Mitsukake and I. And Chiriko, wherever he is. We're not really real…this is just temporary."
"Well, I didn't think that by taking K…Nuriko to Eiyou I'd wind up in the company of Suzaku Seishi or the living dead." Tamatama sat back in his seat, looking pensive. "No wonder my father was so worried about me leaving Yukigase. All this time I thought he was worried about someone taking advantage of my delicate physical state – but now I see it's because you never know who you might meet on a random journey across Kounan."
"Delicate mental state is more like it." Tasuki snorted. "I should have guessed Nuriko's buddies were as brain-kinked as he is."
"Tasuki, shut up, will you?" Nuriko cast him a glare, but Tamatama laughed.
"No, I like your friend. He says it how it is." He said contemplatively. "This really is turning into quite the trip – going back to the borderlands will seem dull and tame compared to this."
"So what are we going to do now?" Mitsukake asked softly, resting his still-bound hand gingerly on the table as he cast his comrades a quizzical glance. "Do we return to Eiyou, and see if Chiriko has been drawn there?"
"He's just a kid so he probably hasn't gone far." Tasuki reflected. "But Eiyou's a long way away from here, isn't it? And Chichiri's hat is still broken."
"It's not the hat, it's me that's broken." Chichiri sighed, spreading his hands in resignation. "My magic is still recovering from our antics last night, that's all. I'm sorry, you know? I'm doing my best – but right now the only one of you I can sense properly is Tasuki."
"Maybe that has something to do with our undead state." Mitsukake glanced at his left hand, then back at the monk, guilt flickering in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I feel that it's my fault."
"It's all right." Tasuki cast him a rueful grin. "Weren't you the one who told me I couldn't die all that easily? I was jus' provin' it, that's all. You caught me off guard, but it was okay in the end. Takes more than a stinking demon to kill Reikaku-zan's Kashira. I'm fine."
"And besides, none of us were quite ourselves when we came to be recreated." Hotohori said softly. "Tasuki is right, you know. This isn't your fault…this is something beyond our ken. Something that's guided and dictated our rebirth."
"I wonder if Chiriko is okay." Tasuki looked uncharacteristically concerned, and Anzu shot him a questioning glance.
"Do you think he's causing problems for people, too?" She asked hesitantly. Tasuki shrugged.
"Depends. He is a kid." He said bluntly. "He might cry and scream at them and stamp his foot, or stare at them as if he hasn't a clue what they're talking about. Other than that? Couldn't tell ya. But in terms of Suzaku's mark, he's the weakest of us all. Suzaku caught him kinda early, after all – he wasn't grown like the rest of us."
"It's a matter of opinion as to whether you've grown up even now, Tasuki-chan." Nuriko said playfully, and Tasuki pulled a face in his direction.
"Shut up."
"Chiriko…is a child?" Anzu's eyes opened wide with dismay. "Are you saying…Suzaku…chose a child to fight his battles?"
"Chiriko was thirteen when Miaka came to Kounan." Chichiri nodded. Anzu bit her lip.
"But…" She faltered, then shook her head.
"And he died?" She whispered. "A boy of thirteen fought and died…to save Kounan?"
"You didn't know that, huh?" Nuriko eyed her keenly. "Yes."
"But that isn't…it shouldn't…he…"
"War affects all people, Anzu-chan. Old and young alike, you know." Chichiri said quietly. "And Chiriko is…was very young, in some ways. But…not in others. Tasuki's right when he says that Chiriko's Suzaku power was weaker…but then again, maybe his will was stronger, in the end. He might have been young, but he was, undoubtedly, a genius. At least, when Suzaku's power ran through him – he was smarter than anyone in the whole of Kounan, of that I'm sure."
"When he died, he chose to take his own life." Tasuki added quietly, and Anzu could hear genuine emotion in the bandit's tones. "Because one o' the enemy was usin' him as a puppet – tryin' to kill Miaka and us by possessin' his body and using it to hurt us. So he stabbed himself…an' he wouldn't let Mitsukake help him. He was determined to die an' save us all…"
"Being a Suzaku warrior seems to be about nothing but tragedy and sacrifice." Aidou put in at that moment, as her brother faltered, unable to continue any further. "Maybe Ma was right all along – Suzaku's mark is a curse, not a blessing. Your lives in exchange for Kounan's peace – just as she always said."
"Maybe that's one way to see it." Chichiri looked pensive. "There has been a lot of sadness and death…but also a lot of friendship and joy. Bonds strong enough to pull people back from the grave, in a time of need. Noone's truly dead so long as you remember them, you know? And it's bittersweet, losing people – but it's better to have had them and to have lived knowing them than it is to try and hide from them. I've no regrets about being a Seishi, at the end of the day. I've been willing to lay down my life before, for my friends and for Miaka and I'd do it again, if the need arose. Maybe that is because I'm Suzaku's sacrifice – but truly, I'm just glad that I've been given the chance to know why I was born. A lot of people never learn that, you know. We're some of the few who do – and I don't think that's a sad thing at all."
"Chichiri's right." Mitsukake inclined his head slightly. "Through the powers we've been given, we've all been able to make a difference."
"How many people can truly say that, I wonder?" Nuriko tilted his head on one side, considering. "Not many, I bet."
"That still doesn't help the family left behind while you go venturing on these suicide missions." Aidou said firmly. "No wonder Ma cried so much when Shun'u's mark first appeared on his arm. She's been expecting to see him buried for the last fifteen or sixteen years, since then. And if not even a child is safe…"
She trailed off, and Tasuki shot her a surprised look.
"Are you sick? You almost sound worried about me." He said, confused. "You didn't catch Mitsukake's byouma, did you?"
"Shut up." Aidou brought the flat of her hand down hard against her brother's skull, and Tasuki winced, edging away from her.
"No, you're definitely Aidou." He said frankly. "Yeesh, Nee-chan, that hurt! What happened to laying off me because I was sick last night?"
"You're well enough to shoot your mouth off, so you're fair game." Aidou said firmly.
"Aidou is right, though." Anzu said softly, casting Tasuki a sidelong glance. "It might be all right to make a decision based on your own life. But it must be hard for the families. I…If Genrou had died last night, I…I don't know what I would have done. Nuriko-san, when I was in Eiyou, I spoke to someone who knew you – she said that your family still missed you, even though they were proud of what you'd done…I guess…I can understand where Aidou is coming from. After all – there's nothing they can do but accept it, when the mark comes. But…"
She trailed off, and Nuriko looked grave. He nodded.
"I suppose so." He agreed. "But there's not a lot that we can do to change it. I mean, I have regrets. I think we all do – I think that's proven by what was uppermost in our minds at the time we were flung back here. I know I didn't make the most of my life as Ryuuen, and that that's probably the reason I died when I did. I fulfilled my purpose, and that was that – I've come to feel that way, anyway. But if you're worried about Tasuki, Anzu-chan, I wouldn't be. He fought his demon last night and he came through it. He still has a reason and a drive to live – whatever it is, there's something he's meant to do – something he hasn't completed or done yet. The same goes for Chichiri – I'm certain of it."
"Now that is fatalistic thinking." Tamatama said drolly, and Nuriko offered him a rueful smile.
"Yeah, I'm being morose again. Sorry about that." He said lightly. "But I still think it's true. That those of us who died…were meant to die. And Chichiri and Tasuki – you still have things to do or people to be. Stuff to achieve."
"Like being Kashira at Reikaku-zan." Tasuki reflected. "Guess that makes sense. The last boss died way prematurely – and I ain't had a good shot of emulatin' him yet…I can't die before I've become a better leader than he was, that's for sure."
"Perhaps my purpose was to leave Kounan an heir in Boushin." Hotohori looked thoughtful. "That even though I would die, my line would continue and protect my kingdom in the way I always sought to do."
"You sound like you're coming to terms with your death a little more, Heika." Chichiri glanced at him, and Hotohori smiled.
"For the first time, perhaps." He admitted. "I can't see Boushin grow up, or be with Houki now. But…I did manage to bring Kounan to peace and stability, and it is in that name my spirit continues to fight. I left an heir, to rule in my stead. A continuation of my line and a bright future for this country. As Emperor – who can do more? We are, after all, just human."
"I'm sorry, I don't buy the fact that a thirteen year old boy was 'meant to die'." Aidou said bluntly. "No matter how you say it, it's still a child's life."
"Chiriko's family were very proud of him and the sacrifices he made for Kounan." Chichiri said lightly. "No death is easy, Aidou…but Chiriko was proud of what he did, too. He felt he was weak, but in the end, he proved how strong he was. That was his purpose. To be strong at a time when none of the rest of us were able. Maybe it is unfair – life itself by definition is unfair. But even so, he made his own choice…as a man, not as a child."
"He wasn't a coward." Tasuki said frankly. "He could be a cry-baby and an idiot sometimes – but dammit, for a kid, he sure had guts in the end. When it mattered. I ain't forgotten that…he'd have made a good bandit, when he'd gotten bigger."
Anzu saw the glimmer of tears in the redhead's eyes, although he controlled them well, and her heart clenched slightly in her throat, sympathy welling up within her as she fought the urge to hug him.
"When you find Chiriko, then, will you be able to save Kounan without Tamahome?" She asked instead. "And without Suzaku no Miko – can you summon Suzaku that way?"
"We're not summoning Suzaku. At least, I don't think we are." Chichiri shook his head. "If it was to do with that, Miaka would have been drawn back again, like she was the last time. We can't summon the Beast God without the Miko."
"Without Taiitsukun's guidance, we're sort of wandering in the dark, aren't we." Nuriko sighed. "You're quite sure we can't get there, Chichiri? Not at all?"
"Not unless you want to be fricasseed." Tasuki said baldly, and Chichiri nodded.
"Tasuki's right. It's a no go, you know." He said sadly. "Taiitsukun, Nyan Nyan – I can't pick up either one of them, even when my power is working right. We're on our own…we have to find our own solution, this time around."
"Then we're back to figuring out the next step...and waiting for Chichiri's powers to come back." Nuriko reflected. "Chichiri, if you drew on our life forces, do you think you'd recover more quickly?"
"I don't know." Chichiri admitted. "But I'm not willing to risk it. I think you've been reborn in the temporary forms you have because you need that strength and physical presence...and curing Tasuki of the byouma last night almost did Hotohori-sama a fair bit of damage. I don't want to do the same to anyone else...besides, my magic is recovering. It's just not quite there yet. That's all."
He shrugged, stretching his arms over his head as he got to his feet.
"The choices are simple." He said lightly. "We can wander or we can stay. When my magic is back, I'll try and track Chiriko but I had such trouble with each of you that I can't guarantee finding him, you know? On the offchance that I can't find him through magic ends - maybe it's worth thinking about where he might be...Eiyou is a possibility, since that's where he came to save us from Amiboshi's flute, at Suzaku's shrine. Or he might even be in Sairou - that was where he fought Miboshi and died, so we can't rule it out completely. In which case, it'll be a major transfer, you know - I'll need to have all my strength returned to get all of us to the Western lands and back in one piece."
"Are you going there now?" Tasuki stared at him in surprise, and Chichiri smiled, shaking his head.
"I haven't even got the magic to take us back to the old farmhouse right now." He responded.
"So what the hell are you doing, then?"
"Going to pay my respects to my family, of course." The monk said lightly. "Since we're not going to be moving immediately, I thought I'd take the time to walk up to see them - if that's all right with all of you."
"But your family are dead, aren't they?" Tasuki frowned. "Ain't that gonna make it a pretty borin' conversation?"
Nuriko sighed, burying his head in his hands.
"I don't think that's what he meant, idiot." He said wearily, and Tasuki's eyes widened as he realised the implication in his companion's words.
"Shit." He said, then as an afterthought. "Sorry."
Chichiri eyed him for a moment, then he laughed, shaking his head.
"When you say things like that, Tasuki-kun, I can forgive them." He said playfully. "And it was a long time ago. But I ought to go - it's been a while since I did, after all."
"You'll go alone?" Mitsukake asked softly, and Chichiri nodded.
"If you all don't mind." He agreed. "It's sort of an alone thing, you know? And I won't be far. You know this area anyhow, Mitsukake - if you need me, I'm sure you can find me."
"I have visited your village." Mitsukake nodded. "So that's not a problem."
He smiled, warmth lighting up his sober features for a moment.
"Give your people our greetings too." He added softly. "And say a prayer for mine as well, while you're at it. I doubt I'll get to do it myself...and I may see them again soon enough, anyway."
Chichiri's expression softened, and he nodded his head.
"Understood, you know." He said evenly. "I'll come back here, when I'm done...hopefully the air and the contemplation will do my magic some good."
With that he was gone, the door swinging shut behind him, and Nuriko sighed, shaking his head.
"Tasuki, you are an indiscreet ape sometimes, you know." He said resignedly. "You're lucky it was Chichiri. If it had been my family, I'd have whacked you one."
"Hey, I didn't do it on purpose." Tasuki defended himself. "The way he was talking, it sounded like he was going to speak to them. And they're dead dead, not like you dead. It'd be pretty dumb to go speak to a slab of rock."
Nuriko eyed him contemplatively for a moment. Then he lifted his hand, tapping Tasuki gently across the cheek and sending the bandit tumbling from his stool.
"Genrou!" Anzu let out an exclamation, hurrying to help him to his feet, but he pushed her away, scrambling up and banging his hands down on the table as he glared at his fellow Seishi.
"What the hell was that for?" He demanded. "I didn't do anything to you!"
"No, but I decided I'd hit you anyway." Nuriko said reflectively. "For old time's sake. After all, I might not have another opportunity."
"I'm startin' to think burying you again is a good thing." Tasuki glowered, rubbing his cheek. "Yeesh, you were less trouble when you were at least pretending to act like a man."
"Do you think Hou Jun is all right?" Aidou pursed her lips, casting a glance towards the door. "Coming so close to a place where something like that happened?"
"Hou Jun?" Tasuki blinked, his anger forgotten as he stared at his sister.
"Chichiri." Aidou grimaced at him. "You can't be that oblivious - surely you do know that he has another name?"
"Dammit, of course I do." Tasuki snapped. "What I mean is, since when did you start calling him by it? Up till now you've called him Chichiri-san - what's the deal?"
His eyes widened.
"Don't tell me that while I was dying of fever you and he were..." He said in shocked tones, trailing off meaningfully and Anzu winced at his tactless innuendo. "And here I was thinking it was killing the byouma that wiped him out, but..."
Thwack!
Before he could say another word, Aidou had brought her fingers hard and fast across his other cheek, glaring at him with indignant rage as she put her hands on her hips.
"Geez, Oneechan, will you get a grip already?" Tasuki exclaimed.
"You learn to stop and actually think about these crazy things before you say them!" Aidou bristled, anger flickering in her gaze, and for the first time Anzu realised that sister and brother shared the same bronzeish, flame-flecked eyes. "You do realise what you're implying - about your sister, about your friend...!"
"Well, you're the one suddenly calling him Hou Jun and worrying about whether he's 'all right'." Tasuki retorted. "What am I going to think? He's a man. You're a woman - even if you are completely mad!"
"Shun'u!"
Aidou seemed to be preparing a second assault, and Anzu decided it was time to take a hand, reaching out to touch the older woman on the arm.
"Aidou, he's just being Genrou." She said softly. "And we know - well, I know - that he's jumping to crazy conclusions. Ignore him. He's just being an idiot."
"Hey, who's side are you on?" Tasuki was wounded by this, and Anzu wheeled on him, meeting his gaze with a firm one of her own.
"Women don't like having their honour questioned, particularly not by men." She said frankly. "Besides, I was with you last night, when you were at death's door. Chichiri and Hotohori-sama gave all of their strength to help you. I know, because I was there doing the same thing. There's nothing between Chichiri and Aidou - stop making mad assumptions!"
Tasuki gaped at her, and Hotohori's lips twitched into a slight smile as he registered the sparks between the two.
"Ah, now I see." He murmured, more to himself than anything. "Perhaps Tasuki's purpose in life is to learn tact, before he dies...and Anzu-chan, you might just be his teacher."
At this Anzu flushed, shaking her head.
Aidou sent her brother a cold look.
"If you want to know the truth, Shun'u, I asked to know his real name." She said quietly. "Because I wanted to know the name of the man who helped save my brother's life. And more, I'm sick to death of this stars of Suzaku thing. I wanted a real name - something tangible. Not something hanging in the sky above Kounan. If you'd get your filthy brain out of the gutter for just a minute, you'd realise that."
There were tears glittering on her lashes, and she shook her head impatiently as if to clear them.
"I have no interest in any man, now or ever." She added bitterly. "You can play games with Anzu - if she's brave enough to take you on. But I've passed that point of view now. When you grow up, maybe you'll understand that - not everything can be nicely and neatly reborn!"
With that she got to her feet, stalking out of the chamber and banging the door behind her.
For a moment there was silence, then Nuriko let out his breath in a rush.
"You and your sister sure have an interesting relationship." He said wryly, and Tasuki grimaced.
"Now you know why I went to Reikaku-zan." He replied darkly, still rubbing his cheek. "Her and the other three task-master sisters that made my life hell."
"You really shouldn't have said that to her, though. It was tactless." Anzu said, casting the door a troubled look, then turning her gaze on the hapless bandit. "Even for you. Genrou, Aidou has feelings, you know. And you really don't understand anything about them. Last night she was really upset - she thought you were going to die. We both did. Today, you say something like that. She only hits you because you make her mad, you know - and you deserved it, this time."
Tasuki was silent for a moment, contemplating.
"So what? You think I should go after her and grovel?" He asked at length. "Yeesh. Women make a fuss over the funniest things. You'd have thought she'd have liked the idea that a man might take notice of her. Even if it wasn't true. I can see how Chichiri might've been insulted, but..."
"You are impossible." Nuriko sighed. "You have no concept of a woman's heart at all, do you, Tasuki-kun?"
"And Aidou's not an ugly woman, nor a cold one." Hotohori said soberly. "She's your sister, so it hasn't occured to you - but she is still a woman, and Anzu is right."
"Fine." Tasuki sighed, shaking his head in resignation. "So I'll go talk to her. Anything for a quiet life."
"Just tell her you're sorry." Anzu advised. "That should do."
"The less words you use, the less likely your chances are of being slapped." Tamatama interjected lightly at that point, from where he had been watching the conversation with detached amusement. "First rule of dealing with women, Tasuki-san...you need a little more delicacy."
"I've been telling him that for years." Nuriko slapped his forehead. "It's no use. He's a lost cause."
"This from a pair of cross-dressers." Tasuki muttered. "All right, already. I'm going. Give me a break."
"Do you want me to come with you?" Anzu asked. Tasuki glanced at her, then shook his head.
"No. You might get caught in the firing line." He said frankly. "This is my stupid sister, after all...leave her to me."
----------------
Aidou was not in the immediate vicinity of the inn, and as Tasuki headed down the main street, he ran over in his head the conversation, weighing up everything that had been said.
"The problem is that she's a woman and I just don't get how they tick." He decided eventually. "But I ain't gonna let everyone gang up on me. Shit, why did I get stuck with sisters? Brothers would have been way easier to figure out - at least you can talk to a brother without getting slapped every five seconds for something you don't even remember you've said!"
At that moment he spotted a cloaked form just outside the city walls, and he frowned, setting his teeth as he prepared to do battle with his eldest sibling. For a second, he almost considered arming himself with his tessen, in case Aidou was still in a spitting rage, but with a sigh he discarded the idea, remembering that even if she was his sister, and quite definitely insane, she was also a woman.
"So I can't hit her, dammit. Even if she deserves it." He muttered. "It's not my fault if shes so sensitive...geez, it was only a suggestion, after all. Why is she so weird about everything, anyway? If it'd been Kouji, he'd just have laughed about it and pushed it away...why are girls so quick to react to nothing at all?"
As he approached his target, he tensed, preparing to flee at the first sign of aggression, but Aidou was sitting on the grass outside the city walls, playing idly with a flower as she stared off into the distance. Tasuki faltered for a moment, confused. Then, with an awkward thud, he dropped down beside her.
"I'm sorry." He said, without any preamble. "If I said something to piss you off. Don't hit me...but I didn't mean to make you go psycho."
"Shun'u?" Aidou glanced up at his voice, and Tasuki frowned, nodding his head.
"Who else do ya think, you idiot?" He demanded. "Well? Are you gonna yell at me or ain't you? Get it out of your system, huh? Cos you were embarrassing me in there, in front of my friends, and..."
He faltered, registering the tears that glittered on his sister's lashes.
"Hell, Aidou, are you crying?"
Aidou didn't answer, and Tasuki frowned, now alarmed.
"Shit...I didn't know you could do that."
"I'm no different from that girl of yours, you know." Aidou said quietly. "Your Anzu...she cries, doesn't she?"
"Anzu's not...and yeah, I guess she does, but..."
"I'm human too." Aidou said frankly. "And you say the worst things sometimes, Shun'u. And the most stupid thing is, you don't even know you're saying them till after they've come out."
"Aidou...why aren't you yelling at me?" Tasuki was unnerved. "You were givin' me hell back there - I don't know how to handle you if you're not shouting at me. It's not natural - it's not you. Come on, snap out of it!"
Aidou was silent for a moment. Then she raised her head sharply, meeting his gaze as she brought her hand down hard against his cheek.
"That's for being an idiot." She said, her voice shaking. "And for me being an idiot enough to care what damn well happens to you!"
"Aidou..." Tasuki touched his cheek, eying his sister in consternation. "Shit, Anzu was right. You do have feelings."
"You only just realised that?" Aidou demanded. "Of course I do, you moron."
"You really were worried about me last night, then? Anzu wasn't making that up?"
"God knows why I should have been, when all you do is put our family through one hell after another." Aidou turned away, staring out across the landscape. "But you're my brother, so I was. We've only ever tried to protect you, no matter how ungrateful you are. We didn't want you to die for Suzaku, that's all. We...wanted to keep you. You might be a tactless, impulsive oaf, but I don't have any other brothers 'cept you. So...that's just how it is, I suppose, when you're the eldest and you have to look out for all the rest."
"Ai..." Tasuki faltered, lost for words, and Aidou shrugged, offering him a faint smile.
"Ma really did cry, when she saw the mark on your arm." She added. "I remember. I remember asking her why she was crying, and her telling me the legend of Suzaku and what it all meant. And I remember deciding then and there that I wasn't going to let any red bird take you away. I didn't want to see Ma cry again - and you were my brother, so I wanted you to stay where you belonged, on the farm, with us. Even though you never really understood that. We wanted you to be strong, be brave, be all the things that you'd need to be to be able to survive if the Miko ever came to Kounan. But we all hoped she wouldn't...because we all knew that it might mean layin' you in some grave or other before you were old enough to choose a life for yourself."
She swallowed hard, and Tasuki stared at her, speechless at this side of his sister he had never before seen.
"O' course, you were dense, an' ran off to Reikaku-zan to put yourself constantly in danger." She added ironically. "To be a man, or whatever it was - I don't know, I don't care. Last night, though, I thought your luck had run out. I came with you because I promised Ma I would - that I'd stop you from recklessly avengin' the fire. I never imagined anythin' like this. An' if not for that girl's strength, you might not have made it. I hate that I cried, but I couldn't help it - you're an idiot, but you're my brother. So I did."
An awkward silence hung in the air between them, then Tasuki sighed.
"All of that stuff...is true?" He asked hesitantly. Aidou nodded, and Tasuki muttered a string of curses.
"You didn't have to come, you know. I don't need protectin' now." He said at length. "I am grown, an' I can fight my own battles. You should know now, after last night, that I ain't weak and I'm not gonna die for Suzaku or anyone until I'm old an' too tired to wield the tessen any more. I'm noone's sacrifice, Nee-chan. You should know that."
"I suppose I do." Aidou agreed softly. "But even so, you can't help being afraid. Shun'u, while you were fighting Kutou with your Suzaku friends, I was...I was almost engaged to be married. He...he made me a promise that, after the war was over, that's what we'd do. He gave me...gave me his word, that he was going to fight for freedom in our land and come home a hero, with stories to tell the children."
"Someone asked you to marry them?" Tasuki's eyes almost fell out of his head, and Aidou nodded.
"Yes." She whispered. "But he didn't come back a hero. He didn't come back at all. I don't even know where he is, now. His body's somewhere in a soldier's grave - I never even saw it to say goodbye. And so...when I think of you, fightin' and risking your life for Kounan all the time - I worry about seeing the same thing. That one day, a message will come to Ma and Pa that you've lost your battle, too...that you won't come back at all. Like the families of your friends...we...we all wait for the day it will be our turn to grieve."
"Oneechan." Tasuki gawped at her, and Aidou swallowed hard.
"You say some stupid things." She whispered. "Insensitive, idiotic things. But you're still my brother, and I still love you, and that's why you damn well make me so mad. You don't get it - you never did get it. Hou Jun...Hou Jun lost someone too, and he understood - he understood the way I felt. That's all. He's a friend - he's someone you trust and someone I've come to trust, too. But to say...to say something like...like that..."
She faltered, her bronze eyes swimming with emotion, and Tasuki bit his lip. Hesitantly and a little awkwardly, he put his arms around his sister's body, holding her tightly as she buried her head in his shoulder, shaking with her tears. For a moment they sat there, brother and sister, for the first time truly understanding each other's point of view. Then, at length, Tasuki spoke.
"I'm sorry." He said frankly, and there was no need for him to explain what for. Aidou raised her gaze to his, offering him a faint smile through her tears.
"It's all right." She said softly. "This time...I guess."
"I ain't gonna die though, Nee-chan. I promise."
"Don't." Aidou shook her head. "You don't know if you can k...keep it, and I...I don't like broken promises."
"Whatever you say." Tasuki stood, hauling her to her feet as he did so. "But I mean it anyway. I'm not going to die. When we've fixed Kounan's troubles, and everything goes back to normal, I'm gonna live my life an' I'm gonna live a lot of it, too. It's like Nuriko said - I've things to do. So don't worry about me any more, huh? Worry about yourself, instead. You got a farm to rebuild, after all - don't you?"
Aidou's eyes flickered thoughtfully, and she nodded her head.
"Maybe...I do." She admitted. "I guess we'll see. When we...when we get back to...to the mountains."
"That's the spirit." Tasuki sent her a wolfish grin. "Hell, maybe Hotohori's right. Maybe there is a family resemblance between you an' me after all."
"Maybe." Aidou admitted cautiously. "But you're still a tactless idiot. An' you an' I don't have that in common."
She frowned, eying him ruefully.
"We've never talked. We've always argued." She reflected. "I suppose I never thought we would. But maybe you've grown up more'n I thought - maybe you understand better, for having been one of Suzaku's people. Fighting with Hou Jun and the others...and this Miko woman, too...perhaps you did learn how to be a man, after all. I'm startin' to think...maybe I've underestimated you."
"I've been telling you all that for a long time." Tasuki said bluntly. "Would I be Kashira at Reikaku-zan if I was a lost cause?"
"You know how I feel about your bandits." Aidou said pensively. "Although I suppose they did help the village, after the...the fire. And you...that was because of you, wasn't it? Because they were your men...they jumped to it, and helped. Because it was your order...they didn't question it. And you did it...because it was our village. I'd reasoned that all out, you know, but not quite as clearly as I have now."
She smiled slightly.
"Maybe I can see what Anzu sees in you." She added.
"Anzu." Tasuki frowned. "If you're gonna begin again on all that stuff you were spoutin' earlier, Aidou..."
"Listen, otouto-kun." Aidou held up her hands, sadness in her expression. "Whether you like it or not - whether you can see it or not - that girl loves you. And I'm pretty sure you're fond of her, though how fond is hard to say. The truth is, we're neither one of us quick off the mark in that regard. When I was courted...I accepted it, I went along with it - but I never really thought about how much he meant to me or what it was all about. Not until I knew he wasn't coming back...and I knew it was too late to change it. Anzu's not a coward, and she's putting herself in harm's way to be with you. I don't want you to get to that point, that's all - where you realise what she means to you after she's beyond your reach."
"I..." Tasuki hesitated, then he glanced at his hands.
"Hell, I don't know what to do about Anzu." He admitted candidly. "What she did last night...when Chichiri told me...it took me aback, ya know? I never asked her to put her life on the line to help me, or anything like it. But she did, an' I sort of admire her for that. I mean, it's the same as I'd do for any of my friends, and well, maybe she's stronger than I thought - stronger than she was two years ago, anyway. But it's complicated. I hate women. I really...always have. But...I'm not like Nuriko. I mean, I don't like men. And...I guess...I don't not like women."
He faltered, looking awkward.
"She accused me of bein' in love with Miaka." He admitted at length. "An' I don't know what to say about that...because I don't know if it's true or if it ain't."
"Miaka?" Aidou frowned, then, "Suzaku no Miko?"
Tasuki nodded.
"Yeah."
"You mean you were..?" Aidou's eyes widened, and Tasuki shrugged.
"Dunno." He said frankly. "I told you. I don't understand women. And sure, I liked Miaka. I miss Miaka. An' she was...a woman to me, not jus' another sister, in the end. But...aw, I don't know. The whole thing's way too messed up and complicated. That's why I don't bother with girls. I don't know what to do with 'em, and Anzu's no exception. I jus' wanted a nice peaceful break from all of it, and she's right there, on my mountain, as if she owns the place. And now she wants to stay, full time...an' after she helped save my life, I can't really say she can't - it ain't the right thing to do. But...dammit, I wish I didn't have to deal with women at all. It was easier when it was jus' avoidin' being whacked by you or one of the others."
Aidou gazed at him for a moment. Then, much to Tasuki's surprise, she laughed, reaching up to ruffle his hair affectionately.
"Oneechan?" He eyed her warily, taking a step back. "Don't...you're freakin' me out, bein' nice to me an' all."
"I'm sorry." Aidou looked amused. "But...it's just...you say some funny things sometimes, Shun'u."
"Hell, I was being serious!"
"I know you were." Aidou nodded. "But even so, it's funny. Did you ever stop to think maybe the reason Anzu makes you so uncomfortable is because you have feelings for her too?"
"Wha...?" Tasuki stared. "You mean...seriously?"
"Mmm, well, would she bother you so much otherwise?" Aidou asked simply. "Jus' take that and think about it a while, huh? And listen, Shun'u. Whatever happens, don't you go break that girl's heart, all right? Else you'll hear about it from me. If you let her down, at least get Hou Jun to tell you how to do it gently...because I will give you a hidin' you'll never forget if you hurt her an' I get to hear about it. After what she did last night...you owe her that, at least."
Tasuki was silent for a moment, digesting this. Then he shrugged.
"Right now, we gotta find Chiriko. Find him, and fix this world, else none of it will matter anyway." He said at length. "So we should go back."
"Did you listen to me?"
"I heard." Tasuki nodded. "But I ain't got anything else to say. Besides..."
He frowned, then spread his hands.
"I jus' had a thought about where Chiriko might be." He added. "Chichiri said to think about it - see if we could work out a likely location. An' he could be in Eiyou but...I don't know. I don't think that's where we'll find him."
"You lost me somewhere." Aidou looked blank, and Tasuki smiled.
"We found Mitsukake near his old stomping ground in Choukou." He said simply. "An' I bet with Chiriko, it'll be the same. Come on." He grabbed his sister by the hand. "We'll find Chichiri an' tell him to focus what magic he's got on Jouzen. I bet that's where he is."
"Jouzen?"
"Chiriko's family are from there...that's where he's buried." Tasuki nodded, hauling his unprepared companion along behind him. "That's where he was, before we met him. Studyin' for some exam. An' if I know Chiriko, an' I do - wherever he is an' whatever he's doing - it'll have some connection to dusty old scrolls an' ink somewhere along the line!"
"But Hou Jun said he wanted time alone with his family!"
"Aidou, people are walking around who should be dead and given what Mitsukake an' Hotohori-sama got up to, we shouldn't be leavin' Chiriko to his own devices." Tasuki said firmly. "If we don't fix this world, Chichiri might find himself joinin' his damn family - will you come on already? This is more important - let's go!"