23

They had to be careful making their way to Suna. The newly named Nigasu group had to pass though both the Fire and River countries to get there and, unfortunately, both countries had it out for them. They mainly relied on Itachi and Deidara to lead them through the River country, which had been taken over recently as a base for Akatsuki, but Naruto knew the Fire country even better than Itachi, having travelled it for so long with Jiraiya. They stayed off trails and away from villages, rotating their travelling schedules every other day. They would train in the mornings and early afternoons, sleep, and then travel at night. The next day, they would rotate the schedule. Doing this, Itachi had explained, would shake any ANBU that might be following them off their trail. But they got through without incident.

So, finally, three weeks of slow travel from the Land of Waves found them at the border between Kawa no Kuni, the River Country, and Kaze no Kuni, the Wind Country.

"The border begins there." Itachi said, pointing at the many tags that were stuck to trees not ten feet from where they were standing, outlining, in rather elegant kanji, that the land that followed belonged, in no uncertain terms, to the wind country.

"Alright. Let me go through first. If I know Gaara, he'll know I'm here right off, but if he senses you guys first, he might send some guys to attack us."

Suigetsu raised an eyebrow and then bowed, flourishing his hand out in front of him in a mocking gesture to move forward. Naruto did, but as he passed Suigetsu, he pushed the man's head downwards and he fell face first to the ground as his own weight threw him off balance. The others rolled their eyes and shook their heads at their antics. Naruto and Suigetsu had long since become friends, even beyond the bonds of camaraderie that their team had to have, but they never ceased to mess with each other. Sasuke followed closely behind Naruto, and, as Suigetsu started to get up and rub his head, Sasuke cuffed the man's ear as if berating a child. One could see the resemblance of that comparison as Suigetsu stared up at Sasuke as if the Uchiha had broken his favorite kunai.

"Stop acting like an idiot." The younger Uchiha said without pausing or showing any pity.

Suigetsu pouted. "That's not fair. They're ganging up on me."

Konan laughed. "They've been ganging up on you ever since we left Wave, if you hadn't noticed, Suigetsu."

"Yeah, dickless." Sai added unnecessarily. Suigetsu glared at him.

"Don't even start with me, Sai. The last time we fought I beat your ass!" He said.

"That was only because it was a spar. I was holding back on you."

"You-!"

"A'right, a'right! Calm down you two. You're ruinin' the mood." Deidara interjected from beside Itachi, whose eyebrow was raised.

Karin turned to look at the blond. "I don't even want you to elaborate on that statement, Dei-chan."

"If I didn't know better, I would say you were all children, not a band of dangerous rogue ninja intent on taking down any and all corrupt ninja governments." Itachi deadpanned. Suigetsu snorted at his wordiness.

"I'd have to agree with my brother." Sasuke said from just beside the border. "Come on. Let's go ahead and get this over with."

"Are you guys done yet?" Naruto asked. He was already a few steps beyond the border. The other ninja tensed and waited, but after a minute of silence, everyone on the River Country side of the border began to unclench their muscles. Of course, that was when Gaara appeared.

The wind picked up for a moment, and then a cloud of sand swirled down from the sky to a spot not far from where Naruto stood. It whirled quickly then dispersed into a stream that disappeared into the Kazekage's gourd. The red haired man's eyes surveyed the scene before him without any particular emotion, then he stepped forward to stand in front of Naruto. He clasped the blond's shoulder and Naruto reciprocated the gesture.

"I'm glad you came, Naruto; I was beginning to worry. I see you've found Uchiha as well." Gaara smiled slightly. "Well? What have you decided?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Of course. You would be the one to believe I was up to something, you sneaky bastard."

Having already witnessed Naruto interact with Gaara before, none of Naruto's companions feared for his life, but they weren't surprised when sand appeared from nowhere and dumped itself onto Naruto's head. The blond spat and sputtered as he dug himself out from under it. As he did, he threw some of it back at Gaara, but the sand just veered from its course to return into Naruto's face. Naruto growled and was about to throw some more sand, but Sasuke stepped up behind him and cuffed his ear. It seemed that this was Sasuke's new favorite target.

"Quit it, dobe. What kind of idiot are you to throw sand at someone who uses sand as a weapon?" Naruto pouted.

"Gaara started it."

Gaara smirked. "Shall we move this to Suna? I asked Temari to prepare rooms for you before I came." They all nodded and, not a moment later, they were on their way to Suna atop a cloud of sand.

xXx

"So, who are your targets?" Gaara asked after Itachi explained their plans. None of the others could explain it well enough or with enough detail.

"Well, we're planning on going after the remainders of Akatsuki and the elders of Konoha. Danzou too, of course. But we don't have any other specific targets. And…I don't really know what to do about Tsunade." Naruto said, adding the last bit hesitantly.

They were all situated on top of the Kazekage's tower, not wanting to be inside when the weather was being so forgiving. The rogue ninja were sitting in a circle around a pile of food on a blanket Gaara had ordered to be brought out. The aura of the picnic meal severely off-set their topic of conversation.

"After you left, Tsunade was in the worst of moods. She wouldn't accept any visitors. She wouldn't even speak to me. Somehow…I don't think she did what she did by choice." Gaara said certainly.

"But she still did it. Regardless of why she did it, she would have had the choice to tell me what was going on. If she was trying to protect me, or even if she was trying to protect the village, she had that option. But she was going to let me bring Sasuke back to the village so she could have him killed! And she was going to make Itachi into a tool for breeding! I can't accept that." Naruto said quietly, uncharacteristic of his old energetic temperament.

The rest of the group said nothing as Naruto sat silently, brooding. Gaara cast a quick glance over them then stood smoothly. He held a hand out to Naruto who was looking up at him.

"Come. We need to talk privately."

"Now hold on-!" Suigetsu started.

"No. It's none of our business." Sasuke interjected. Gaara met his eyes and nodded his appreciation. Naruto looked around at them and half-heartedly smiled before taking a hold of Gaara's hand and bringing himself to his feet.

"We'll be back in a bit. Eat your fill while I'm gone. We should probably only stay for the night then leave tomorrow." The blond said before he and Gaara walked through the door that led down into the tower.

A few minutes later found Naruto in Gaara's office, sitting with the redhead on the couch, both of them leaning against the arms of it, facing each other. Gaara's right hand steadied his gourd against the side of the couch while his left fiddled idly with the cloth of his pants. Naruto focused his eyes on his lap, not looking forward to venting his emotions. But he trusted his friend enough that, if he wanted to try to help, he would let him.

"What are you so worried about?" The redhead prompted without preamble.

Naruto sighed, knowing that Gaara wouldn't push for answers if he wasn't willing to give them, but that he was worried for him all the same. "I guess it's just that…I feel almost…lost. I don't know why I'm doing this...trying to make a change. I agree with the idea, sure, but I've only ever tried to fit in, to blend in with everyone. No, that's not right. It's more like I…wanted to be accepted by them."

"Who is them?" Gaara pressed, but Naruto only shrugged offhandedly.

"The village, I guess."

"Why?" Gaara asked. "Naruto, you've never been like them. Why would you even try to be like them, to limit yourself like that?" Gaara seemed confused. Naruto wasn't sure why until the realization popped into his mind.

"Gaara…I didn't know I was a Jinchuuriki until I became a Genin. I was twelve when I found out." Gaara's eyes widened in surprise.

"You said…you wanted to be accepted." Gaara said slowly, realization finally dawning in his eyes. "Kami…you didn't even know why they…" Naruto winced as he remembered what Gaara had said he'd gone through as a Jinchuuriki in his village. He knew the man must have been thinking of what it would be like to be treated like that…without even knowing why the insults and names and fists were thrown at him. For the first time, Naruto could see emotions on Gaara's face, not held back by the blank, stoic expression it usually held. Horror was the first and foremost. Disgust closely followed.

"Those bastards!" Gaara's anger almost amused Naruto, who had long since given up on the anger that the villagers had instilled in him.

"That's why I was so upset about Tsunade, I think. It always felt like the village had betrayed me, by, well, doing what they did…" Naruto trailed off, not wanting to give Gaara a sob story or something along those lines. "I guess it felt like she'd finally turned to the other side."

"But what about your senseis? Your friends? I know a few of them, like that Rock Lee and Nara… They would gladly risk their lives to save you now." Gaara said, waving his left hand slightly, trying to understand his friend but not quite managing it. Naruto saw the attempt for what it was and was grateful for it.

He smiled slightly, but when he spoke, it was with a bitter voice.

"You're right, they would. Now. But, until I proved to them that I was an equal, until I worked my ass off to show them that I wasn't as useless as some idiot villager, none of them cared to see me. And now they assume I'm some genius. That I'm this happy-go-lucky fool who can pull a miracle out of his-" Naruto broke off as his temper suddenly rose and, taking a few breaths, he calmed himself. "Well, it doesn't really matter anyway. They still assume I'm a happy fool all the time. I'm surrounded by geniuses all the time and I barely have a moment to catch my breath before I'm left behind again."

"Naruto…You're stronger than any of them." Gaara said. When Naruto looked up, he was surprised to see Gaara meet his eyes with an incredibly sincere expression on his face. "You always have been."

Naruto smiled somewhat, a simple quirk of his lip, and sighed. "Even if that were true Gaara… I guess…I- I don't know what I…Grrr…" He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated at the lack of words to describe his feelings.

"I think…I guess I just hate being…no, I hate wearing this mask!" Naruto suddenly nodded in certainty that that was what was bothering him. He continued his line of thought, suddenly excited to realize that was why he'd always felt just a little bit of loneliness, even with all his friends surrounding him. He wasn't even sure if he was actually talking to Gaara anymore. It was more like he was simply speaking his thoughts into the air, relieving his tiring heart of the burden they gave him.

"Yeah, sure, they're my friends. But they don't know me. Even Sasuke. He still doesn't know anything about me beyond when we first met in the academy or after he left Konoha, but he's the person that knows me best besides you and Kyuu. None of my friends or teachers ever stepped in to stop the glares or rumors that were thrown at me every day. They didn't even notice it. It's like I didn't really exist until I shoved a foot in the damn door and proved I was there! And it wasn't even that simple! Even though I tried my best to pull their attention to me every single day I went to the academy, the best I got was the title of class clown."

"They didn't know you." Gaara said carefully. The blond studied his lap and his clenching hands, trying in vain to calm himself.

"But that's the problem. They didn't even try." Naruto sighed. "I can't tell you how happy I was when I realize my friends wouldn't abandon me when they learned that I was a Jinchuuriki. But they still just saw the 'me' that I had created." Naruto suddenly clenched his fists again. "I hate it! I was trying to protect myself, but once I put it on, I couldn't take the mask back off. At the Chuunin exams…That was the first time I really felt alive; when I was fighting you. But if…if I had taken it off in front of anyone who knew me, they would have thought I was some imposter or something, because they wouldn't have recognized me."

"But maybe they might have." Gaara stopped Naruto from continuing his rant. Naruto's head snapped up and their eyes met for barely a second before he was back to staring at his lap. Gaara could see an ironic quirk to his lips.

"Yeah. Yeah, I suppose they might have. At least, Sasuke has. And the rest of our new team."

Gaara sighed and shifted, laying his gourd on its side, parallel to the couch. He uncrossed his legs and let one dangle off the side of the couch as he leaned forward to try and catch Naruto's expression. Naruto only leaned back against the arm of the couch, his head still tilted downward.

"I've seen how you act around your friends, Naruto. Sometimes, you act like they will abandon you at any moment. Why?" Gaara pressed, worried about Naruto. He'd always been able to see the more aggressive side of the man. The more serious side. And sadly, the more broken side, too.

"Because sometimes I'm afraid they'll turn on me. That they'll return to their senses and forget about me all over again. No." Naruto shook his head as Gaara began to say something. "I know it's a stupid thing to believe. It's just that there's this little kid inside me, crying. Wondering why he was pushed away for all those years and then suddenly accepted."

xXx

Gaara was surprised that the normally emotional Naruto had yet to break down crying. He knew, just from that, admitting what must have been one of his deepest fears with such a steady voice, that Naruto had been thinking about this subject for a long time. And then he wondered if Naruto and the Kyuubi had ever talked about it. But then, considering how much Shukaku had always intruded on his thoughts, he supposed they must have. At least some of it.

He didn't have to prompt Naruto to continue.

"I acted stupid and played the fool for years after I was finally able to understand why the villagers called me what they called me. There was something wrong with me. Something that was horribly terrifying. Because I was a little kid then, I thought of it in innocent terms. I figured that, if they thought I was no threat, they wouldn't be afraid of me. That way, if they weren't afraid of me, they wouldn't hate me, and they wouldn't hurt me."

Gaara's eyes widened. He'd known that Naruto had been mistreated. It was inevitable for any Jinchuuriki. But he hadn't known he'd been hurt. And he could tell Naruto wasn't speaking of a simple matter of his feelings getting hurt. Even he himself, the target of many assassination attempts, had never been beaten, although, with his sand, not many ever had the chance.

Naruto frowned. "I wanted to prove to them that, if they only acknowledged me, I would protect them in return. That I would!" Tears finally started trailing down Naruto's cheeks. Gaara, not sure entirely of what to do, moved closer and pulled Naruto into a hug. Naruto practically latched onto him.

"You are too good for them, Naruto." Gaara said with a rare soft smile.

"I don't know why I want to help anybody. But… I guess I still do. For others like…us." Gaara shifted but didn't deny the classification. Naruto sat back again, the only signs of his tears being the pair of glistening tear tracks leading down his cheeks. He rubbed them away with the back of his hand and sighed.

"Since Tsunade said she'd name me a missing-nin if I was seen with Sasuke, there is no chance that they'll see me as anything other than something to be hated, now." Naruto said, without any particular inflection. He didn't sound upset or as if he were withdrawing from the conversation, but rather like he had accepted the fact. Gaara felt his heart clench. He followed the blond's reasoning and factored in his attitude while stating the fact. He was almost sure he knew what was bothering the man now.

"You've given up on your dream of being Hokage?"

"Yeah. I suppose I have." Naruto said quietly, staring at his hands.

"Well, then. You have you're reasoning for going along with this 'Nigasugakure' plan."

Naruto blinked at the sudden jump in the conversation. But he thought about it and seemed to come to the same conclusion as Gaara had. He'd planned to make a difference as hokage. Doing this, he could make a difference, too. Maybe even a bigger one.

"I suppose so." He smiled blearily.

Gaara sighed.

"These people you're travelling with. They trust you. They believe that what they are doing by following you is a good thing. They know what you are and they haven't turned away from you. Your senseis and friends trust you. You have allies. Now. Don't focus on the past. It's not important anymore. You still have enemies, people who hate you, but you can live through it. Not to mention, of course," Gaara straightened his clothes and stood regally. "If anyone makes you cry again, I can think of quite a few people who would kill them for it. Myself included."

Naruto smiled. Gaara was happy to see that it reached the blond's eyes this time.

"One more thing, Naruto."

"Yeah, Gaara?"

"You're not a demon. You're not a monster. There isn't a single thing wrong with you."

Naruto almost looked confused. "I-"

"You may be merged with the Kyuubi, but that does not mean that you are a demon. You are still you."

Naruto looked down at his lap once more and finally, he nodded.

"Thank you for this."

"I'm only doing what you've done for me." Gaara clapped a hand to Naruto's shoulder and could practically feel the gratitude rolling off of the blond. He wondered if he had been the only person to see the obvious. He wondered if anyone else had ever wondered how someone could be so cheery all the time. He wondered, finally, if he was the only one who could ever really understand him.

Gaara was after all, probably the least abused Jinchuuriki after Naruto and the container of the Hachibi, Killer Bee. Even without the threat of assassins hanging over him, Naruto was estranged from his village from a very young age, but at the same time, he was bound close to them to keep him from leaving, made dependent on them. And giving him the idea that he was a monster all that time?

He'd always been of the opinion that mental abuse was more torturous than physical abuse could ever be. Gaara had shut his mind away from all the harsh insults and names that his villagers had called him because he knew exactly why they were afraid of him. He knew that he was powerful enough to retaliate, and that he could kill any one of them, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not as a child and not now.

But Naruto had never had even that comforting knowledge. It was almost enough to make Gaara hate Konoha.

And, looking at the kind man standing before him who had saved him from himself all those years ago, it was enough to make that hate lessen just a bit. For giving him such a friend, he could never be more grateful.

xXx

The next morning found Naruto and Gaara not far into the village from the main gate.

"So you're in for sure, Gaara? You'll support Nigasu in the war?" Naruto asked one last time before they left Sunagakure. They were heading to the Village hidden in the Cloud and the rest of the group was already at the gates, waiting for Naruto.

"Yes, I will. Granted, I cannot make any open movements because our relations with Konoha are still fairly tense. I do not want to openly break the truce; Suna can't afford it. I will give your team anything you need that is within my power, though."

"I understand."

"Another thing, Naruto. While you're travelling around, I want you to check something out for me." Gaara said. "I've been waiting for the right time to mention this."

"Yeah? Anything, Gaara." Naruto was curious. If Gaara had been waiting for a right time to bring it up, that meant it was probably something important. The redhead looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Before Akatsuki took Shukaku completely from me, he managed to talk to me one last time. He told me that there was something wrong. At that time, it was rumored that Akatsuki had six of the tailed-beasts already, but Shukaku said that he only felt five of them, that one was missing."
"What?" Naruto said, his eyes widening. "You mean there might be one more tailed-beast somewhere out there?"

Gaara nodded.

"But wouldn't they realize it if they hadn't caught one of them? Besides me and the eight-tails, I mean."

"I would think so, yes. But I don't think they had it in the first place."

"Then why would information saying that they'd caught all but two Bijuu be going around?"

"Maybe it was just a rumor to draw that particular Bijuu out. But all I can say is that Shukaku couldn't sense a sixth Bijuu."

"Did he say which one was missing?"

"No, he didn't." Gaara stared into Suna, at all the merchants' stalls and villager's houses. His village.

"Gaara. I'll find it. I'll keep Akatsuki from hurting anyone with it."

"Good. But, you might want watch for a human host as well. The villages don't exactly broadcast it when they gain a tailed-beast, but Cloud, Rock, Mist, Leaf and Waterfall are the only villages known to have succeeded before. And I doubt any of our enemies would keep it hidden if they had captured one."

Kyuubi shifted in his mind excitedly. She was glad to hear that one of her brethren was still alive, even though she did not always get along with her fellow Bijuu. They weren't in the places we've been since we merged. I would have sensed it if they'd been near where we were, or at least their residual energy. Naruto was surprised. He hadn't heard that Kyuubi had had the ability to do that. But he'd ask her later.

"I doubt it's in Leaf or Mist. Kyuubi says she would have sensed them if that were the case."

"Then Tsuchi, Kumo, or Waterfall would be the most likely, since it's obviously not here or in the River Country either."

"It's good we're on our way to the Lightening Country then, isn't it? We can check out Waterfall on our way there and a little bit of Tsuchi, too."

"You know you can't go through Ame or Kusa." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, we'll probably go through Ishi and then up through the Earth Country into Taki to get to the Waterfall village and then go east towards the Lightening Country to find the Hachibi. We'll just check Ishi on our way to make sure it's not there either."

"That's good."

"Everything will be better when we take down Akatsuki and the elders of Konoha and Danzou, Gaara. Then we won't have to worry about any of this."

Gaara nodded his head and He and Naruto clasped their hands to each other's' forearms.

"I'll come back soon?"

Gaara glared at him. Naruto smiled.

"Uh, yeah. I mean, I'll come back soon!"