Chapter 6

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Never before in Hagrid's miserable life had women had a romantic interest in him. They had not even looked at him that way. He had been big, loud and blatant, with social skills of an uncultured but kind-spirited animal. So very few people had looked at him beyond appearance and manners and saw the bottom of his heart, a heart of gold.

Hagrid had spent hours baking, burning and re-baking a birthday cake for Harry Potter's 11th birthday. Actually he did this every year but never got it right the first time. Nor was he allowed to visit Harry to deliver a birthday cake. Dumbledore just said no, and that was enough. Hagrid did not need to know the reasons behind the Headmaster's decision. He trusted Dumbledore with his life.

So when Dumbledore asked him to visit Harry and present the Hogwarts letter, Hagrid was ecstatic. He washed his clothes with dragon mucus, bathed himself in unicorn urine and combed his hair with a school broom to make himself presentable (he never brushed his teeth). So when Harry refused to accept Hagrid's birthday cake, it broke his heart.

Badly.

Although Harry kindly mentioned that he considered accepting the gift and throwing it away later, he didn't want the cake to go to waste since associated carbon footprint with baking cake was considerable (Hagrid thought carbon must be a big creature deep inside the Forbidden Forest). Harry said Hagrid was a drama queen for being a half-giant working for a magical school. Hagrid was downhearted, having no idea what to do to get on Harry's good side. So when Harry made the ultimatum that Hagrid either followed the boy to his lab or left. It was not a difficult decision for him to make. He quietly followed the boy to the laboratory, where a procedure that Harry thought could cure a sickness was explained to Hagrid in a language he barely understood.

Hagrid did not try to understand anything either. He signed a form without reading because he trusted Harry, not knowing that his life would never be the same again.

Well, he was still the blatant, uncultured Hagrid, but that weakness was forgivable when you looked like Andrew Garfield and had the angelic voice of Andrea Bocelli.

So when Hagrid was left alone with Tom the barman, a flock of witches surrounded him like tigresses fighting for a chance to taste a handsome, young-looking stag (they didn't dare doing slutty anything in the presence of the stern McGonagall). Hagrid was shocked, happy and frightened at the same time. He had received a lot of Floo station names (Muggle equivalent of phone numbers). He also received his first kiss there. A girl named Lavender Brown threw herself onto him and pressed her lips against his in a quick, swift motion. But only because Hagrid never brushed his teeth, the poor girl coughed and rushed to the loo, searching her handbag and murmuring 'where's my mouthwash?' as she ran, but Hagrid didn't hear that. Hagrid thought a sense of feminine modesty had just returned to her.

But not twenty other girls before him.

Luckily a girl by the name of Pansy Parkinson who ran her hand all over him accidentally clicked the stun pen in his shirt pocket. As a result, a stun gas erupted. Hagrid held his breath and ran out of the bar as soon as possible, leaving the barman and his clientele in the dreamland.

So when Lavender Brown came back from the toilet, she was in her weird panic mode. "Wow! If there is anything in the world more deadly than the Dementor's Kiss, that would be Hagrid's Kiss of Death! But – " she blushed a little. "- it is kind of kiss worth dying for."

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Pansy Parkinson was very, very, very furious. When she woke up, Hagrid was gone. So was that slutty Lavender Brown! The bitch didn't only steal her future husband but also taint the honour of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Parkinson! Pansy always got what she wanted, and whatever that came between her and the thing she wanted had to be eliminated. The girl growled painfully, her forehead bleeding from hitting the floor. Her precious pureblood was unnecessarily wasted, and this was a crime of highest degree!

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Harry literally rolled on the floor laughing when seeing lipstick kisses all over Hagrid, who sat dejectedly on a stool in Harry's underground lab.

"I always wanted to be accepted. But I never wanted this, Harry! This is too much for me."

"Chill, Hagrid. Minnie knows exactly how to stare people the right way. Maybe you can learn from her."

"But Harry..."

Harry sighed. "Alright, I can change the way you look, but I will not change the person you are, Hagrid. Let me give you some disguise tips and hire bodyguards for you. After all, I do that all the time as a Muggle celebrity." What Harry didn't say was that when Hagrid was less approachable, this would make him even more desirable.

Dudley was slicing onions quietly and rubbed the onions against Fawkes's cheek. The phoenix then sat on Hagrid's head, shredding tears to soothe the former half-giant.

"That was not I was trying to say, Harry. I-I..." Hagrid's hand was trembling, handing a newspaper to Harry, who raised a brow. A big headline said:

Girl sent to Azkaban for attempted murder

"Let me guess. The girl in Azkaban -" which Harry guessed was some sort of magical prison "- was fighting with the girl accusing her of attempted murder because of you?"

Hagrid covered his face with both hands, sobbing melodiously with his Andrea Bocelli voice. "It's not even close to a murder, Harry. It was your stun pen firing off when Parkinson touched me."

Harry had heard enough. He got up and read the newspaper article with a dark, serious face, a side of Harry that Hagrid hadn't seen before. A couple of minutes later, Harry looked up from the newspaper, said to Hagrid with a voice colder than liquid nitrogen. "Escort me to the Ministry of Magic, will you?"

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"Um, good morning?"

The reception lady at the Ministry of Magic looked at Harry with a bored face. It was just a quick glance, no longer than half a second. "What do you want?" Her eyes then returned to a Japanese manga she had been reading.

Although not pleased with the lady's manner, Harry chose to be polite. He needed cooperation, not a fight. "My name is Harry Potter, and I would like to meet the Minister, please."

"Harry Potter?" The lady was so excited that she fell off her chair. When she got up, she smiled sheepishly. "What a pleasure to –"

She had not finished the sentence when the crowd perked up.

"Harry Potter is here?"

"Wow, mate, work has never been more exciting!"

"Yes! Should I expect an autograph?"

"Listen, everyone," Harry intoned, "I wish I could see the Minister of Magic at work. So who would like to show me the way?"

The crowd was more than enthusiastic to do so.

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"But, Mr. Potter, the Minister is having an important meeting right now. He will see you shortly. May I suggest that you please enjoy our refreshments for the time being?"

Harry tapped his glasses twice, and with a gloomy face, he pushed the Minister's office door open and entered, followed closely by Hagrid and an invisible Robot. They were reluctantly followed by the Minister's secretary.

"Ahh.. Mr. Potter," Fudge gave him an annoyed look. "you have just interrupted my important floo call with the French minister. I'm sure whatever you have to say can wait, so please leave, now."

Harry didn't even flinch one bit. "I can tell a liar when I see one, Minister."

Fudge looked surprised. "There has to be some sort of misunderstanding, but that can wait too."

Harry walked up to Fudge, and the secretary said warningly, pointing her wand at the Boy-Who-Lived. "Mr. Potter, one step closer and I will no longer show mercy."

Harry shrugged. He was close enough anyway. His fist hit Fudge's desk forcefully, twice. "Get out, now!"

It was the face of the girl that Harry saw in the paper: Lavender Brown, and she was crying silently like there was no tomorrow. Harry bet that there was some sort of magic that prevented her from making noises. She looked really miserable, tears pouring from her eyes like a stream. Her lips were bruised and her hair was messy.

Fudge stepped back, his mind rushing to find a damage control solution. "But how - how did you know?"

Harry smirked, not intending to explain to the Minister what infrared technology is.

"So Miss Brown didn't go to Azkaban so that you can keep her all to yourself? You, Minister of Magic, who accused Dumbledore of being a paedophile with a bad joke as evidence?"

"I.. I..." Fudge's tongue seemed to be tied, but not for long. "That was a prank! I didn't mean Dumbledore any harm. It was just harmless fun, and Dumbledore knew it!"

Harry nodded with an evil smile. "Okay, if that were harmless fun, then how would you explain what I see today?"

Suddenly there was a flaming flash, and Dumbledore appeared in the room with Fawkes on his shoulder. Harry grimaced. Somehow Fawkes told everything to the Headmaster. He didn't count on the fact that Fawkes could communicate. Or maybe Hogwarts knew when he left the castle. Or maybe Dumbledore put a tracking spell on him.

"This must also be a prank." Fudge protested hotly. "Someone must have impersonated Miss Brown and hid under my desk! Look! You all have no business here. Now can you all please get out of my room so this matter can be dealt with?" Fudge said with the frustration of an innocent wrongly accused. Harry believed this Minister could easily get a Grammy Award for the Best Bullshitter and Actor.

Harry looked at the secretary expectantly. "You must have the knowledge of who enters and leaves the Minister's Office. So if this is not Miss Brown, who is she?"

The secretary gave Fudge a worried glance. She opened her mouth and then closed it.

"May I suggest that Miss Brown be unsilenced so that she can talk?" Dumbledore offered.

With the stress going on, the room was getting more heated, and as such Hagrid took off the hood that had half-hidden his gorgeous face.

"No need!" The secretary's eyes never left Hagrid's since he took off the hood. "I will tell you anything! Anything!" The secretary moved closer to Hagrid like a snake creeping to its prey.

And the secretary told them of the Parkinsons' grudge against Lavender Brown, the bribe that the Parkinsons gave the Minister, the ransom that the Minister demanded from the Browns so that a fake Lavender be sent to Azkaban instead, the plea from Miss Brown's parents as they didn't have the money that the Minister asked, and most importantly, Fudge's paedophilia.

As the secretary retold the story, Fudge sunk into his chair, looking desperate and very afraid.

"Excuse me, Ma'am," Harry asked as soon as the secretary finished her story, "are you telling me that an 11-year-old girl was sent to a wizard prison that drains happiness out of prisoners' lives, and this was done without a trial?"

"Yes, Mr. Potter." She replied without looking at the Boy-Who-Lived. Her arms swung around Hagrid's neck. Hagrid didn't like it, but he stood there, petrified, not knowing what to do.

Harry sweated, because he didn't expect a slut to save the day. Even worse, he didn't expect that Hagrid's handsome face was a more powerful political force than his presence. "I have a feeling that she was not the first person that was forced to go to prison without a trial."

The secretary wrapped her legs around Hagrid's. "Of course not, Mr. Potter." She managed to still keep her voice steady despite her lusty eyes. "There are many others before her, the most notable was probably Sirius Black, your godfather."

Harry took three steps back before finding his voice again. "WHAT?"

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To be continued.